“Really. It’s fine, honey. You couldn’t have predicted a bird bombing as soon as you stepped out of the house. I’d turn right around and need a shower too.” Shira Abramson spoke into her phone, tempering her disappointment and comforting her friend Keren Sabinski once again.
As her friend apologized for the hundredth time, she returned, “I know you’d come if you could. We both knew this was going to have to be a quick get together as it was.”
Keren finally said, “I know. I know. It’s just that I was so fucking excited to see you. It’s been too long. I feel sooo bad. And instead of girl chat, I get to remove bird shit from my hair. Ew.”
“I think I come out just fine compared to you, so don’t worry even for a second. I’ll just grab a quick coffee and get some work done. No biggie.”
“Actually, if you still plan to grab a coffee, might I suggest you try out my company’s new app?”
“Which app?”
“Immedia-Date.”
“The dating app you described to me last month?”
“Yep. The very one. It’s just come out this week and we’ve already had a ton of people sign up. Give it a try. Maybe you’ll meet Mr. Right today and shitting birds will have a silver lining. It would be good for your blog and you can provide me with feedback.”
“You’re such a yenta.”
“I’ll wear that matchmaking badge with pride, thank you very much. Yenta heart. Business brain. Now give it a go, and I’m going to wash my hair a million times over and then head to my meeting.”
“Fine. If I end up dead in a ditch somewhere, I’ll know who to blame.” Shira grumbled.
“Enjoy. Avoid the ditch. Text your bitch. That sounded a lot better in my head than out loud. You know what I mean, though. Text me when you’re done. Bye.”
With that, the line went dead.
What had she just agreed to? Shira opened up the app store and searched for Immedia-Date. She located it and had it downloaded quickly. She was impressed right away with the ease of setting it up. The streamlined process was a snap. Answer a few simple questions and it created a basic profile with what you were looking for. Tall, dark, Jewish a bonus, and handsome a desire. The app prompted that all she needed to do now, was turn her profile to ‘currently available’ and it would search her vicinity for any available matches interested in a short pop-up date. So she did just that. Easy peasy.
Her phone dinged almost right away, making her jump. Someone was available and interested in meeting up with her. Well, that was fast.
She opened the app back up, clicked on the profile of the interested party, and had to blink a few times. This had to be a scam. No one joined a dating app and got one of the hottest guys she’d ever seen in the first couple of minutes. She bet it was someone catfishing with a fake picture, but that could be resolved quickly when they met, so she clicked “Interested.” The app took a minute to search the area between them for a highly rated coffee shop or café within a short distance.
Her phone dinged again with the address to the shop. Shira figured she would at least discover a new place to get her caffeine fix out of this ill-advised adventure into modern dating. Coffee was life, after all. She pulled out of the parking lot where she had meant to meet Keren and headed to her Immedia-Date with some trepidation laced with excitement.
She arrived a few minutes later at her destination and was intrigued by the place right away. She checked out the map on the app and her date was still a few minutes away, so she decided to investigate the place on her own. The front window boasted a sign that read:
Welcome to The Frisky Bean
Coffee to Wake You Up
Pastries to Turn You On
Shira was now more than intrigued. What kind of crazy coffee place was this? And was it really appropriate for a first date? She shrugged and stepped inside. Right away, she realized she didn’t care. The scents in this café made her mouth water, and she nearly moaned out loud in pleasure. Well, damn. New favorite café indeed.
“Hi there! Welcome to The Frisky Bean. Have you been here before? Probably not, since I’d remember if you had and of course we’ve only been open for eight months, so quite new. What can I get for you?”
This was all said with such speed and exuberance, Shira nearly flinched. She had to wonder if this could still be her favorite new place with the overly cheery person working behind the counter. Was there a way to maybe avoid her? Order ahead? Her consternation with being overwhelmed with perkiness must have shown on her face because the woman with the stunning, messy, curly red hair grimaced and said with less exuberance, “Too much, huh?” Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper. “Sorry. You’re obviously one of the people who needs some coffee defenses before I approach you. Let’s try that again.” And with a dramatically less excited almost comically even tone she said, “Is there something I can help you with?”
Comical it might be, but it worked. Shira was now ready to answer. “Sorry. Coffee first may as well be my motto, but so should, Oscar the Grouch was misunderstood.” She winked, hoping to diffuse the tension she’d accidentally created. It seemed to have worked, as the woman behind the counter visibly relaxed. So she continued: “I’m meeting someone here. They should be arriving any minute. Do you have a menu I can look at until then?”
“Sure.” The woman handed her a card and then continued, still in a friendly but calm tone, “My name is Summer. Let me know when you’re ready to order.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem. Take your time.”
As she perused the menu, Shira’s eyes opened wide and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. That slogan on the window wasn’t kidding around. A bell sounded behind her, but she was so engrossed in the menu items, she forgot to keep a look out for her date. She was oblivious until she heard a deep, sexy male voice coming from right next to her. “See something you like?” In fact, it came from too close. She reacted before she could think better of it, leaving her full of regrets the moment after.