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"Jocelyn Rich, Jocelyn Rich, Jocelyn Rich." The woman dabbed concealer under her eyes and continued to mutter the name she hadn't spoken in over a decade. She needed to get used to the sound of it, to answering to it. She studied the two pictures wedged into the upper right corner of the mirror. Mother and daughter—long blonde hair, clear blue eyes. The mother's eyes held just a touch of something innocent and trusting. She snickered into the mirror. "Lost that, didn't you?"
She took a step back and shook out her new haircut, satisfied that her reflection came as close to the picture as she was likely to get, considering that more than seventeen years separated then and now. There wasn't much hope that Scottlyn would recognize her either way, but if there were old pictures floating around, she wanted the resemblance to be obvious.
William's funeral was later today. She would have missed this opportunity if not for Andrew's quick thinking. Her boyfriend had rushed home on Wednesday with the paper open to William Rich's obituary. Forty-eight hours hadn't given them much time to prepare, but sometimes life threw you a curve ball. With Andrew's help, she intended to smash this one out of the park.
She situated a new black hat on her head, pulled the netting over her eyes, and nodded into the mirror. "You'll do."
She strutted into the cramped living room of the ancient apartment and struck a pose in the doorway.
Andrew looked up from the television. His gaze started at the floor and traveled from her shiny new shoes to the fresh highlights in her hair. His wolf whistle drowned out the commercial playing on the tube.
"Oh, baby! You look good enough to eat. I know I balked at the expense, but those shoes were a hundred dollars well spent." He patted his lap and wiggled his eyebrows. "Come over here and sit on Daddy's lap for a second."
She grinned. "Not normally an invitation I'd resist, but I need to get on the road."
He nodded, rose from his seat, and sauntered to where she stood. He studied the finished product in more detail.
"What do you think?"
"If there's an afterlife, you'll have old William begging to come back." He dropped a kiss onto her mouth. "Do you think you'll be home tonight?"
She shrugged. "Depends on how it goes. You've got the night shift again, right?"
He nodded.
"OK. If I'm not here when you get home, I'll call you first thing in the morning. Wish me luck."
"You aren't going to need it."
Bolstered by Andrew's confidence, she left the apartment without a backward glance. She didn't plan to attend the funeral, but she would put in an appearance at the house, offer what comfort she could to Scottlyn, and in the process, maybe...just maybe, the girl could be convinced to share part of Daddy's estate with a long lost, grieving widow and mother.
***
SCOTTLYN FINGERED HER black skirt. The cotton was cool beneath her fingers, but it would wilt quickly in the June heat. That's OK, it will be in good company with my heart. How was it possible for life to change so abruptly in three days? On Tuesday, she been trying on white lace, today she wore black. On Tuesday, she'd hoped that her father might give her away at her wedding, today her father was being buried. On Tuesday, her heart had been happy despite a niggle of misgiving, today she understood what those reservations had been about. She stared into the past and the might have beens of the future, unable to stop the tears that streamed down her face. Today, the dream of ever again hearing her father say I love you became a fairy tale. Oh, Daddy.
"Mommy, why are you sad? Do you have a boo-boo?"
She blinked and used a crumpled tissue to dab at her eyes. Mercie stood in the doorway of Scottlyn's bedroom, a look of concern scrunching up her little face. How could Scottlyn answer? Her baby had no point of reference where her grandfather Rich was concerned. She'd never met him. Now she never will. The thought ignited fresh tears as she sat. "Come here, baby." She pulled Mercie into her lap, and held her close.
"Sometimes grownups get sad. It makes their heart hurt." She brushed back Mercie's long blonde hair. "Are you ready to go visit with Grandma and Grandpa?"
Mercie nodded. "They said we could go to the zoo and feed the bears." Mercie leaned back and formed her small hands into claws and pawed at Scottlyn's shirt. "Grrrr." Her smile was impish. "They like marshmallows."
"Almost as much as you."
The doorbell rang, and Mercie scrambled out of Scottlyn's lap. "They're here!" Mercie ran for the entryway, leaving Scottlyn to follow several steps behind. Baby, her teacup poodle, got there first. Child and dog stood by the door, one yapping, one clapping, and both bouncing with excitement. The sight lightened Scottlyn's mood and had a smile tugging at her lips. The combination of toddler and dog was often daunting, but it was impossible to remain sad in the face of their exuberance. Jesus, thank You. Even when my heart is broken, I'm blessed. Please help me to hold onto that.
Scottlyn pulled the door open, and before she could speak, she found herself engulfed in the arms of Penny Nelson. "Sweetheart, Gabe and I are so sorry. Is there anything we can do?"
Scottlyn returned the hug and looked at Gabe over Penny's shoulder. She stepped back and forced a smile for Mercie's sake. "You're doing it, and I've been so busy, I haven't even had a chance to thank you." She sniffed. "Mercie duty three days in a row. I—"
"Pleasure, not duty," Gabe corrected her. He stepped around his wife, swooped Mercie into his arms, and turned her in a wide circle. "What are grandparents for?"
Mercie wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a loud kiss on his mouth. "Did you bring the marshmallows?"
"Three bags. Think that'll be enough?"
Mercie nodded, her blue eyes bright with excitement. "Do efelants eat marshmallows too?"
The picture tore at Scottlyn's heart. I won't cry...I won't cry...I refuse to cry. "You guys are the best. I'm so glad you decided to be part of my baby's life."
"And that's enough of that," Penny told her. "You take care of...what you need to do today, and we'll have Mercie home right after breakfast tomorrow morning." She turned to her husband and grandchild. "You guys ready?"
"I think you forgot something." Diana stepped into the doorway. She held out Mercie's backpack and stuffed monkey. "Can't leave without your things."
Penny took them. "Yep, we'd be looking for those later." She handed the monkey to Mercie. "The bears are waiting. Tell Mom and Grandma Diana bye."
Mercie waved, dissolving in giggles when Gabe swung her up onto his shoulders and galloped to the car with a monkey perched on his head.
Scottlyn watched with tears in her eyes. Diana put an arm around her shoulders. The gentle touch was her undoing. "Why couldn't that have been Daddy?" She turned into the arms of the only mother she'd ever known and wept for things that would never be.