Wedding Bells
Emily had been dating Rob Sellers for four months when he surprised her at dinner with a marriage proposal.
“He just got down on one knee,” she gushed, “right in the middle of the restaurant and asked me—in front of everyone!”
“Did people clap?” I asked. “Like in the movies?”
“They actually did!” she squealed. Her happiness was contagious.
“That’s so cheesy, but I wish I was there! I would have cried!”
“I wish you were here, too. Rob wanted to go out and celebrate and I said, ‘I have to go home first so I can call Stella.’”
“Oh, I love you!”
“I love you!”
“Put Rob on. I want to congratulate him.”
“Okay, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom, anyway. My bladder’s about to rupture.”
“Mmm. Thanks for letting me know.”
A few seconds later, Rob picked up.
“Stella!”
“We’re gonna be in-laws!” Well, not technically, but I knew he’d get it.
“I know, Sister Stella, isn’t it awesome?”
“You’re the one who’s awesome, Bobby Celery.”
“Hey, how’d you know about that?”
“How do you think?”
“Man,” he said. “Katherine’s gonna shit a brick when she finds out I’m about to become her son-in-law, or stepson-in-law, or however the hell that works.”
“It’s gonna make her feel old, Rob.”
He laughed. “I know.”
“So, what are you guys gonna go do?”
“I don’t know. We’ll probably go get drunk or something. Emily thinks Nick will be back soon, so maybe we’ll wait and tell him our news, and then we’ll all go. We both really wish you were here.”
“Not as much as I do,” I said. “I feel like that’s my curse. The good stuff always happens wherever I’m not.”
“Aw, don’t say that.”
“It’s true. A lot of times I wonder why I stay here.”
“Well, from what I hear, you’re amazing with kids, you’ve got a great job, and you really have no reason to move.”
“Yeah, but…”
“Yeah, but,” he mimicked. “Emily really envies the bond you have with your mom, you know. She thinks it’s so cool that you can still live at home and have your own life. She wouldn’t have that if she lived with Frank and Katherine. And besides, what the hell do you mean about good stuff happening without you? Sister Stella, you are the good stuff.” I laughed. “You bring the party when you visit.”
“I think you exaggerate.”
“Don’t be modest. You don’t get a chance to see Emily when you’re not around. I do. Either way, I love her. But she lights up like a little kid when you come around, and frankly, so do I.”
“Oh, go on.”
“I would,” he said, “but my fiancée just came back. And she’s trying to grab the phone.”
“All right. Well, congratulations. And I love you for making Emily so happy.”
“I love you, too, party girl. Here’s Em.”
When Emily returned, I gave her my full endorsement of Rob as a husband, which was completely different from my full endorsement of Rob as a boyfriend, which I had just given her two visits ago. The thing I liked most about him, aside from the obvious fact that he treated Emily like gold, was that he seemed to look at me the way she did, to appreciate things about me that I would’ve never stopped to think were valuable. And in addition to that, he was so easygoing. And he had a terrific sense of humor. I looked forward to having Rob in my life.
Growing up, I’d always imagined Emily’s future husband as this faceless middle-aged man I would meet sometime in my thirties and feel stupid around, but Rob was so incredibly nonthreatening, he made me want to dance. So, that’s exactly what I did when I hung up with Emily. I danced around my room until I was dizzy, never once feeling sad that my best friend had just taken such a flying leap into adulthood. For engagement was bigger than burying chastity at the senior prom. Bigger than going away to school. Emily was about to get married. But for some reason, I only felt happy. For her, for Rob, for the fact that something was finally going right for one of us, and in a way, then, for both of us. I ran out to the living room to share the news with my mother and Kevin as soon as I regained equilibrium.
My mom had the same reaction that, I believe, Emily’s real mother would’ve had. She gasped, she cried, she jumped up and down, she asked if I was sure Rob was a nice boy. And then she called Emily to congratulate her. While they were on the phone, Kevin turned to me and asked if I was next.
“There’d have to be a guy in my life first,” I said.
“I’m surprised they’re not banging the door down.”
“Please.”
“Oh, come on, Stella. You don’t need an old guy like me to tell you how pretty you are.” It was comments like these that still made me uncomfortable.
My mom put her hand over the mouthpiece and looked at Kevin. “Do you ever stop flirting?” And comments like that which made me ill.
Kevin stuck his tongue out at my mother. She rolled her eyes at him, half joking. He winked at me playfully. I felt myself blush. My mother liked to think of us as a family. I think we were as odd as they came.
That night, I lay awake in bed thinking of the engagement and fell asleep remembering two girls in a locker room talking about thighs and how their mothers’ fanatical obsessions had given birth to their first names.