Lunch fray over, Lily was in the kitchen helping to prepare for the evening meals and had undergone a much needed, self-admonished dressing-down about her attitude earlier this morning.
What ridiculous notions crossed a woman’s mind when a man gave her a look. Looks meant nothing. They’d hardly spoken over the last year, since the zing moment at the Bunny Ball. Why would Nick suddenly want to start looking at Lily? Of course he’d given her a look back at the house. A look that said, ‘By, God — there’s a near-naked women in front of me.’ Not a look that necessarily said, ‘I’d like to do things with that near-naked woman standing in front of me.’
She thumped the wad of chilled pastry she’d taken out of the fridge onto a floured surface to her side and dragged a board of diced vegetables towards her.
‘Hey, watch it with my shortcrust.’
Lily swiped her brow with the back of her hand. ‘Sorry. I was miles away.’
‘Where?’ Charlotte asked. ‘In the back seat of a certain silver ute?’ She sniggered as she turned back to Olivia, who was sitting in her highchair eating and playing with a freshly baked cookie.
Lily felt herself blush.
‘Yeah, what’s with that?’ Dan asked, putting down a small keg of Marsala he’d brought in from the corridor storeroom. ‘I saw you come into town in Nick’s ute.’
‘Dan!’ Charlotte said, wiping Olivia’s hands with a damp cloth before handing the toddler some plastic cookie cutters to play with. Some afternoons, when Charlotte had a lot of baking to do, she brought her strawberry-blonde daughter to work.
‘What?’ Dan asked. ‘Can’t a guy ask a question?’
Charlotte grimaced. ‘Timing, darling. Timing.’
‘But you just asked — why can’t I?’
‘Okay!’ Lily said in exasperation. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I can’t say,’ Dan said at the same time Charlotte said, ‘Nothing.’
Dan grabbed Charlotte around the waist and planted a kiss on her cheek. ‘So it’s all still a secret?’
‘Is what still a secret?’ Lily asked, her tone telling anyone within earshot that there’d been a rise in her exasperation.
‘Nothing,’ Charlotte said again, then aimed a pointed finger at her husband. ‘Be careful, Hotshot. Unless you want a repeat of the hammer-grip manoeuvre I showed you this morning.’ She thrust her finger into Dan’s chest and shoved him away, laughing.
Lily adored Charlotte’s attitude. Her beautiful red hair went with her spirit. Prickly, according to Dan which always made Charlotte smile, especially when Dan called her Red — his personal nickname for his wife. But Lily knew Charlotte well, and her occasional prickliness was a cover-up for her sometimes shy but always generous nature.
Dan’s smile widened and the sensuality in his eyes deepened. ‘Anytime, Red.’ Something hot and passionate had just passed between her bosses. Something sexy and personal. Some ‘thing’ Lily didn’t want to think any more about since she wasn’t getting that sexy thing, and probably never would. Except from books. Or the pictures that kept popping into her head.
Dan backed away from his wife, palms up in surrender mode, his smile now bordering on a laugh. ‘You can get me in that hold anytime. Just not now. I’m going for a run.’
‘Don’t wear yourself out,’ Charlotte said. ‘I might have plans for you later.’
Lily’s insides melted. Theirs was a beautiful marriage. Three years into their life together, one gorgeous daughter, a yellow weatherboard house at the northern end of Main Street, and a thriving business in Kookaburra’s.
Dan kissed the top of Olivia’s head and she beamed up him, going all gooey-eyed at her handsome daddy and offering him her rolling pin.
Once Kookaburra’s opened up as a full-blown hotel two years ago the town had prospered and the unemployment rate had dropped. But the Bradford’s were careful with their generosity. Charlotte had explained to Lily that they wanted to help but did not, under any circumstances, want to be viewed as officious and pre-emptive regarding their monetary donations.
Sammy and Ethan Granger were the same. They ran a large spread on Burra Burra Lane and Ethan had employed some of the mothers in Swallow’s Fall as horse riding instructors and their children as stablehands. Ethan still kept the young people in mind, catering two half-days a week in school holidays to teaching them carpentry. Sammy ran an art class twice a week for anyone who wanted to learn how to draw or paint. Children, mainly, but some of the older residents had participated and seeing how much they enjoyed the ‘oldies get-together’ — their terminology — this class had now evolved into a weekly luncheon event at the Town Hall. Sammy’s son, Lochie, seemed to be taking after his mother with his artistic talents and always had coloured pencils and a drawing pad in his hands. Little Edie was too young to be showing any artistic talents yet, but she always had fat crayons and scrap paper around too.
Many, many times, Lily thanked the universal deities for returning her and her children to the safety and comfort of Swallow’s Fall.
‘So. Where’s your life heading, Lily?’
Lily looked up from the carrots she was now chopping for the lunchtime pasties and focussed on Charlotte who dipped her hands into a bag of flour and threw a handful over her work surface, preparing to make a batch of scones for an afternoon tea party in the restaurant.
‘Probably to the library, once I finish these pasties.’
Charlotte threw her a knowing smile, which Lily returned. They were alone in the kitchen, apart from Olivia who was now intently rolling uncooked pastry on the table of her high chair with her rolling pin, and it looked like Charlotte wanted to spend some quality girlfriend time, as she was want to call the moments when they chatted about woman stuff. Like children, lipstick colours, any new products in the beauty parlour — or to renew the old conversation. Lily wasn’t fooled by the casualness of Charlotte’s remark. They’d had the old conversation many times, with Lily closing it as she always did: by being non-committal.
‘I meant,’ Charlotte said, breaking butter into her bowl of flour and crumbling the mixture between her fingertips, ‘as in for the rest of your life.’
‘I’ll probably grow old like all of us.’
‘Old and alone,’ Charlotte said, eyebrows raised to you-know-I-won’t-let-this-go height.
‘I’m not headed anywhere in particular, as you very well know,’ Lily said. ‘I’m happy looking after myself and my kids.’
‘Don’t you sometimes dream of being swept away in a guy’s embrace? Danced around the room until your toes don’t touch the floor.’
‘You’ve been reading the kissing books from the library.’ Lily put her finely chopped carrots to one side and grabbed a sack of potatoes off the floor.
Charlotte sighed, long and dreamy, as she kneaded her scone dough. ‘I love the kissing books.’
So did Lily, but if she admitted that to her boss-cum-friend she’d never get out of the conversation.
‘What about our current resident available bachelor?’
Lily peered at Charlotte. ‘What about him?’ Pointless pretending not to know who Charlotte meant. Nick was the only available bachelor in town below the age of 40. Below the age of 70, come to that, if you included the widowed gentlemen. But something else was happening here. The townspeople had some sort of secret, which appeared to be centred round Lily. Did it involve Nick? Charlotte — nor any of Lily’s other girlfriends in town — had never directly pushed Nick Barton her way before. Probably because they knew something had happened at last year’s Ball — although how, Lily didn’t know. She had never discussed that awkward moment with anyone. Her friends had spoken of Nick many times but they always came to the same conclusion. He was a loner. They’d decided he was a strong man with a determined attitude who wouldn’t be swayed by a bunch of love-happy females.
‘Do you ever think he might have a thing for you?’ Charlotte asked, picking up her own rolling pin and dousing it in flour from a handful on the table.
A thing. A look. Lily shrugged. ‘Don’t know. I doubt it.’
Charlotte swung her rolling pin and prodded the air, aiming it at Lily. ‘And that’s your problem. You doubt everything about yourself.’
‘I do not.’
‘He’s got oomph.’
‘Ooof!’ Olivia proclaimed.
‘What does that mean?’ Lily asked.
‘Dynamic sexuality,’ Charlotte said, whispering the word ‘sexuality’ above Olivia’s head as she handed the child more pastry to roll. ‘All supressed and kept close within. He’s probably an exploding bomb once he lets himself go.’
Lily agreed about the dynamic vitality of the man. If that was male oomph, Nick Barton had oodles of it. But she didn’t know what Nick would be supressing and didn’t want to further the thought of what it would be like to be close to the sexual explosion. ‘You need to take up knitting,’ she told Charlotte.
‘Oh, come on.’ Charlotte dumped her rolling pin on the floury surface and walked over to Lily’s bench. ‘You’re not being fair.’ Little Olivia was used to the comings and goings in the kitchen, and didn’t seem to miss her mother’s presence by her side. She started bashing her pastry with her hands.
‘To whom?’ Lily asked Charlotte, plopping her diced potatoes onto the pile of other chopped vegetables.
‘To me and Sammy for a start, let alone yourself.’ Charlotte leaned her hip against the bench and folded her arms. ‘When we girls have our night on the town you’re the only one of us not married — apart from the twins, but they’re still young.’
‘And I’m over the hill?’
‘There are things we can’t discuss in front of you.’
Lily settled her features into a sardonic contemplation of Charlotte. ‘I’ve been married, remember?’
‘Yes, but that wasn’t in any way nice. Romantic didn’t even come into the equation of your marriage.’
Lily didn’t argue or even feel affronted. It was true, and her girlfriends in town knew it, and she didn’t mind them knowing it.
‘You’re missing out on the really nice parts of a relationship. The juicy parts. The saucy bits.’
And the tender, private moments. Lily had dreamed of them often enough. But they hadn’t come her way and neither did she expect them to. That’s why she read the kissing books, where she was part of some other woman’s romantic adventure.
‘Talking about oomph,’ Charlotte whispered, looking over Lily’s shoulder.
Lily spun to the door that led from the kitchen to the front of the hotel.
‘Hi,’ Nick said, one hand on the open door. ‘Jillian was on reception. Said I could pop on through. Is that okay?’ He paused. ‘At least, I think it was Jillian.’
‘Of course,’ Charlotte said, a smug smile on her face. ‘We were just talking about you.’
Lily blinked as a rush of mortification swept through her body. ‘We were talking about your knives,’ she said quickly. ‘Charlotte thinks they’ve got oomph.’
He raised the metal knife box in his hand. ‘Not sure what oomph’s got to do with cutting up vegetables, but your knives are ready and sharpened, Charlotte.’
‘Thanks, Nick.’ Charlotte took the box off him. ‘You’ve just missed Dan. He’s gone for a run.’
‘I know. Saw him go. He’s coming over to my place later for a gym session.’
‘Well.’ Charlotte smiled heartily. ‘Must get back to my scones.’ She walked over to her end of the kitchen, sprinkled some flour onto Olivia’s pastry then picked up her scone dough and started kneading it intently, leaving Lily uncomfortably alone with Nick.
Lily threw a quick smile in Nick’s direction and turned her focus to the potatoes. ‘I ought to get on with these pasties.’
‘Lily.’
‘Yes?’ she asked, sounding husky.
‘I’ve got Janie-Louise’s bike in the ute, and Andy’s outside. I’ll run you both home when you’ve finished work.’
Another favour. She waved a hand his way but couldn’t meet his eye. ‘No need to wait for us, Nick. Honestly. I can ride the bike home, or Andy can and I’ll walk.’
‘It’s not a problem,’ he said quietly, sounding patient. ‘I want to have a word with Mrs Tam anyway. I’ll wait for you outside.’
He made to leave.
‘Don’t wait with Jillian on reception,’ Charlotte called out to him. ‘Or you’ll never get Lily home.’
Jillian Tillman worked on reception duty afternoons to evening. Her twin sister Jessica worked the early morning to mid-afternoon shift. The time of day was the only way most people could tell the girls apart. The twins were in their early twenties and Lily adored them. Ten years younger than herself, but age didn’t count because when they were together, they were the only three young single women in town, since the fourth, Gemma Munroe, had left town two years ago when she turned 18. Gemma was now somewhere in Paris. How wonderful! Gem was an artist. Imagine all the youthful chances of romance she was surrounded by. Art, beauty and romance. Now there was a book Lily would like to read.
Nick nodded goodbye but didn’t make an observation about being talked to death by either of the twins. He left the kitchen without another look at Lily.
Lily picked up her peeling knife and got back to the potatoes. Charlotte didn’t speak, even though Lily knew she would be bursting with something to say about Nick driving Lily home.
No look from Nick this afternoon. Just as well, since Lily had now put all that nonsense to the back of her mind. Or had she?
After five minutes of unusual silence between them, with only the occasional toddler-talk from Olivia, Lily couldn’t bear it any longer. ‘I wonder what he wants to talk to Mrs Tam about,’ she said casually.
‘Think she’s got a favour to ask of him.’
‘Oh.’ He’d been doing a lot of favours suddenly. Janie-Louise’s bike. Lily’s car. Charlotte’s knives — and the taxi service to and from Lily’s house. Now things for the townspeople too.
Lily glanced at Charlotte but Charlotte was shaping her scones with a cutter and didn’t seem prepared to talk about the oomph guy anymore.
***
Nick waited as Mrs Tam locked the museum in the Town Hall.
‘I’ve been thinking, Mrs Tam, about how I can get more involved in the Support to Survive program.’
‘How lovely, Nicholas. Just in time actually.’
‘Why’s that?’ Nick asked. ‘You have something you need?’
The old girl blushed and batted her eyelashes at him. ‘Not what I need, but what I’d like to see someone else receive.’
Nick raised his brow as Mrs Tam patted the bun on top of her head.
‘But you go first, Nicholas.’
‘Well, I was talking to young Andy this morning and he told me about how much research he needs to do for his schoolwork, and his hobby.’
Mrs Tam nodded. ‘Tools. He’s fascinated with them. Always asking when we’re going to get technical books in the library.’ She shrugged. ‘Goodness only knows when we’ll get a proper serviceable library going.’
‘You’ll get there,’ Nick said. ‘These things aren’t easy to generate fast which is why I was hoping you’d accept my suggestion for putting Wi-Fi into the Town Hall. I’ve got an unused computer I could let you have too. At my cost. Probably the best place for it is the library, then all the kids can use it — if they haven’t got decent connection at home.’ Or if their parents couldn’t afford to pay the bills on time.
‘Why-Fie?’ Mrs Tam asked. ‘Is that the thing that scrambles across space and give us all the chance to surfboard the net?’
Nick’s heart swelled with affection, along with his smile. ‘That’s the one.’
She clapped her hands. ‘How exciting. And how thoughtful of you, Nicholas. On behalf of the town and the committee I would like to accept your generous offer.’
‘Good. I’ll get things organised. Should be able to fix it up for you during the week.’
‘You’ll be here anyway.’
‘I will?’
‘I need your assistance. But it will involve using your muscles.’
Nick flexed an arm. ‘I think mine still work.’
‘Will you kindly assist Lily — who’s going to do an inventory for me — with the boxes of books I’ve just received? They’re heavy, and they’ll need stacking and re-stacking. Wherever Lily wants them. Anything Lily wants from you.’
Nick nodded, but gave himself a moment before voicing his answer. Junior Morelly had cornered him outside the hardware store earlier. Junior had asked for his assistance too. Helping Lily clear out the storeroom. Helping Lily with the heavy gear in the back rooms. Junior had used the same phrase, ‘Anything Lily wants from you.’
‘I’d be delighted to help out with the heavy lifting,’ he told Mrs Tam. And with anything Lily wanted from him? Nick wasn’t sure about what she might want from him, or about how he might respond to any wishes and needs she had, but it was obvious that the elders in town had taken measures into their own hands.
Nick hadn’t been under much scrutiny or gossip before now. Probably because he’d done such a good job at creating his own hideout on All Seasons Road. A damned good job of appearing polite yet helpful when needed. When had his cover been blown?
Mrs Tam smiled her thanks, then cocked her head to one side. ‘I don’t suppose you’d have a chance to let Lily know, would you? And maybe make arrangements with her about a suitable time for you both.’
‘Of course, Mrs Tam. I’ll have a word with her.’
Nick left Mrs Tam and headed back towards Kookaburra’s. He knew Lily’s kids, and liked them a lot. He knew Lily. Just because he kept his distance it didn’t mean he couldn’t see her personality traits; the hardworking, magnanimously generous ones, and the cute, shy ones, like her refusing to meet his eye, and the blushes when she did. Of course he liked Lily. He’d never denied that to himself, but he liked her more than he should. A lot more than he should after this morning’s vision of her in her close-enough-to-naked state. So much for keeping your ‘apparently undying attraction’ hidden. What had blown his cover? Was his appraisal of Lily obvious to these people? Or were they simply hoping? The townspeople were certainly pushing him and Lily together, which told him he had been accepted and thought of as a decent man for Lily, their daughter.
But was he?
He’d had flings after leaving the forces but they’d been more one-nighters than anything meaningful. He hadn’t wanted to get involved in another full-on relationship. It was one thing monitoring yourself to check if you were going quietly crazy just because you were out on civvy street and not in some hell-hole working in maritime counter-terrorism that you actually preferred. It was another thing to put a woman who thought you loved her in a situation where you disappointed her and made her heart break if or when you messed up and left her.
He had mates who were divorced, not having been able to hold their marriages — or relationships — together because they’d left the services and found themselves with no spark, no adventure in their lives. Buddies who didn’t see their kids often enough, or who left and didn’t want to see them. Ex-wives fighting over everything, some wanting more money, some wanting the ex-Army, the ex-Navy, the ex-Air Force man and all the troublesome psychological shit they couldn’t get rid of, out of their lives and that of their children’s — or back into it with commitment. Even the amicable break-ups had the power to hurt both parties, let alone what it did to the kids.
Nick couldn’t say for sure he wouldn’t eventually do the same thing. Leave and look for a spark, something to kickstart the quest for danger he suspected still lurked in his gut.
‘I’ll be ready in 10 minutes, Nick. Is that okay?’
Nick turned to Andy who was calling out to him from across the street.
‘Mr Morelly’s going to show me a new bench grinder.’
Nick raised a hand. ‘Take your time. I’m waiting for your mum to finish work anyway.’ And then he was going to give them both a lift home.
As the kid went into the hardware store, Nick crossed the street and returned to his troubling contemplations.
Here he was, settled in this small, remote town. Helping people out and taking an interest. Wasn’t this what he’d been hoping for?
The first year after leaving the Navy had been tougher than he’d expected. Loss of role, loss of identity. These factors hadn’t diminished his sense of himself but he hadn’t met the challenge of making new friends, not even when the worst part had hit him: all the free time. He’d had his share of physical and mental issues too. He hadn’t had trouble concentrating, but yes, he’d carried tension with him. And he’d experienced moments of frustration. He’d avoided old friends for this reason, unsure what it meant.
He’d monitored himself for 12 months. In the end he’d searched for a hideout. Somewhere he could begin life again on a quiet, personal level. Swallow’s Fall had offered the ideal.
He pushed through the swing door of Kookaburra’s and looked around, unclenching his hands which had curled into fists with his thoughts. Quiet. Two or three hotel residents at the bar, the reception desk unattended. No Lily, but Charlotte smiled at him from inside the restaurant. She waved, so Nick walked through.
‘How’d it go with Mrs Tam?’ Charlotte asked as she folded white cotton serviettes into fancy conical shapes and stuck them into champagne flutes. She nodded down at her task. ‘We’ve got an afternoon champagne tea party for a group of tourists. Business is good.’
‘Great to hear.’ He motioned for her to stand aside as she moved to pick up the heavy-looking silver tray filled with the champagne flutes. ‘Let me.’ He picked it up and followed her to one of the larger tables by the front windows which had been set with cutlery, tea plates and vases full of autumn branches and greenery.
‘Thanks,’ she said as she began emptying the tray and placing the flutes in alignment alongside the place settings. ‘So how’d it go?
‘Good,’ Nick answered. ‘I’ve asked if I can do something for the Support to Survive program. I suggested internet connection at the library. I’ve got an old PC they can have.’
Charlotte paused. ‘Thank you, Nick. That’s brilliant.’
Nick looked down at a vase of yellow, russet and green leaves. ‘And I’ve been given my task,’ he said, studying the silver vase. ‘I’m sure you know what it’s all about, since Junior Morelly is asking the same thing of me.’
‘They’re in need of your muscles.’
Nick glanced up. ‘So it seems.’ He tilted his head. ‘Quite a lot of heavy lifting needed suddenly.’
‘Looks that way.’
She wasn’t going to give, so Nick pushed it a step further. ‘Funny how Lily’s involved too.’
‘Coincidence,’ Charlotte said in an off-hand manner totally unlike her usual up-front self.
‘Yeah, well.’ Nick looked over his shoulder. The restaurant was empty, reception still unattended and the few people in the bar far away enough for his liking.
He took a step towards the table. ‘There’s something I’d like to ask you.’
‘Sure.’ Charlotte emptied the tray of its last two glasses.
‘It’s a touchy subject and none of my business.’
‘Go for it,’ Charlotte said, picking up the tray. ‘If it’s personal and confidential, I won’t talk about it.’
‘Fair enough.’ Nick gathered his thoughts. ‘Lily,’ he said. ‘What happened to her husband?’
Charlotte’s eyes widened and her mouth tilted in consideration. She didn’t take her eyes off Nick and Nick felt the scrutiny like an open wound on his skin but he didn’t expound on why he was asking. He waited for the answer, knowing Charlotte would give it because Charlotte had just sussed out that Nick liked Lily, and by the sly little smile sliding across her face, Charlotte appeared to be happy about this.
‘He was a bad deal,’ she told him, her expression serious. ‘She doesn’t talk about him, neither do the children. I think they’re happy to forget him.’
‘Was he a hitter?’ Nick’s belly summersaulted at the thought.
‘I believe he hit Lily, at least once. I don’t know about the children. Don’t think so.’
Cowardly bastard.
‘He’s a gambler,’ Charlotte said. ‘Spent all their money at the track. Horses, dogs — anything that raced, legal or not. I think Lily must have dealt with quite a bit from him, and apparently she turned up in town out of the blue, with the kids and a black eye. She changed all their surnames to Johnson after she divorced him.’
‘And what did he do about that?’
Charlotte shook her head. ‘Nothing. That’s the sad part. He didn’t care.’
Nick knew the type. Just as well the man hadn’t cared. Hadn’t cared enough to come and find his family. One black eye for Lily but how many broken bones? How many skin burns as he twisted her arm? He halted those thoughts. No point getting riled at the vision of Lily’s ex-husband hurting her, but he knew what he would do if the man ever turned up in Lily’s life. Or in the children’s lives.
‘Thank you, Charlotte. I appreciate your thinking I’m trustworthy enough to have that information.’
‘You’re welcome, Nick.’ Charlotte backed away, swinging the tray in her hand. ‘Anything else you need to know about Lily, you just ask.’
Nick returned her smile but his was cautious. Charlotte’s was an outright grin.
‘I’ll let her know her lift’s here.’ She turned for the kitchen and Nick sauntered to the big panoramic windows of the hotel and stood looking at Main Street, waiting for Lily.
So what would he do? If Lily asked anything of him.