19

N!AE KXAO

“When a father finds out that his daughter is having her first menstruation, he won’t say a word. As soon as a young girl starts bleeding, the men must keep quiet. They must sit in the shadow. When it happened to me, the women didn’t notice at first that something was happening. I had to throw my digging stick toward them to help them notice. They went away and told my mother that I did not return with them.

“My mother decided that she and the women must go look and they found me sitting under a tree. They talked to each other as they brought some blankets to cover me. They then went back and roasted some beans for me to eat. They washed and smeared my body with animal fat. The old woman put me on her back and carried me to her house. I slept alone there while several men went hunting for an oryx. The people kept washing me and at sunset they came from the west side to bring in the oryx meat. I would bend down my head and not look at anyone.

“My mother told me to hide my eyes from the men who went to hunt an oryx. If a girl looks at the people during this time, she feels very scared. At first I didn’t listen and I looked a little. But after doing that I became very scared and embarrassed to talk to them again. I listened to her instructions and stopped looking. During this time my flesh was shaking from fear. I feared being hunted by the men. When someone brought me food, he would come by the side of the hut while I wasn’t looking and leave it there. When he left, I took the food to eat while bending my head. People came to take the turtle shell dish away when I finished eating. I was told that I must not eat all the food. It is also a ritual requirement that the girl must not take any food with her hand. I had to use special sticks to eat with. The sticks are sharpened on the end to help grab the food. I couldn’t touch anything. In addition, my feet were not allowed to touch the ground. I was given sandals made from the skin of the eland. I wore them so my feet did not touch the ground.

“During this time I could only sit on the bed. I could not communicate with a baby or else people might curse me or say bad things. I was forbidden from talking to any young child. I was not even allowed to look at the shit of a baby or child and was forbidden from saying the word shit. This is the way it has always been for our people. As soon as a girl starts menstruating for the first time, she is covered with blankets and the ritual begins.

“When I went inside the hut, the people said I needed to hide and avoid being seen by others. This was preparation for the eland dance. If there are only old women around, they can’t do the eland dance. There must be more people—men and women—to dance around the hut. They dance naked without any clothes. Everyone danced for me, including the old people and men. The people undressed themselves in order to avoid my making them blind. They took off their clothes to protect themselves as they went into first creation.^*58 There the culture of the ancestors was revealed. Both old and young men danced naked for me, though I had heard that in some villages only the old men would dance. Everyone danced in order to bring the animal nearby so we could have its meat.

“When the men flirted with me, they didn’t talk. They flirted with their dance movements, though I wasn’t looking. No one talked to me during this time because they were scared. I sat inside listening, as I was covered. The men danced as if they were competing for me. I held my husband’s bow that he had killed an eland with in a previous hunt. I did this because I needed to be ready to hunt for an eland in first creation.

“Whenever someone in the dance went into !aia, our elder healer cut that person’s ear tips. Scratches were made on the tip of the ear. The blood from the dancer’s ear and my blood made us equal—we were all like a hunted eland in first creation. The dance and ceremony came to an end when I no longer bled. That’s when the blanket was lifted and I was brought out. The people accompanied me with singing and dancing as they brought me to the house where I would live with my husband. At that time everyone was wearing clothes again. We all reentered second creation.

“The top of my head was still covered and I only looked at the heels of the person in front of me and followed them. People in the village said that I was finished and would now be able to live. While I was in the hut they brought me gifts. This included jewelry for my neck, hands, head, and waist. My sisters and mother made me gifts. When I came out I was introduced to everyone as if I was new and everyone acted like this was the first time I had received my name.

“The girl typically has a kabi when she’s inside the hut during this rite. I dreamed about a lion. The lion came and sat next to me. I was lucky and didn’t scream. I wondered whether I spoke or not during the kabi. The next day I waited for people to come and tell me that I was talking during the night. I waited and no one said they had heard anything. That made me happy. I thought that I might never close my eyes again to sleep. Perhaps that’s why people covered me. It’s a risky time when anything can happen.

“The first blood of a woman is a very strong entry into first creation. Once she’s become a woman and comes out of the hut, there are some special things she can do. For instance, the next day she can touch a man’s weapons, blow on them, or spit on them. When a weapon receives this contact it makes the weapon strong. This is because the girl has recently been inside first creation and her fluid, breath, and touch helps their weapons be connected to the animals. It also makes the poison on the arrows stronger.

“During this time, the people teach the girl different things, like how to collect wild foods. The old women teach her all the things she needs to know about being a woman. They will dig up wild roots in order for her to hold them. She places them behind her back in the skin blanket. They keep digging different plants in order to let her hold all the important plants. This is how she learns about them. Sometimes they don’t get to the seeds, roots, or the edible parts. They just dig and bring a part of it, leaving the rest for later when it is ready to eat.

“The elders also teach her about making and tending a fire and cooking because when she is taken home she will roast all those collected foods and serve the family. During the ritual they have her hold the things that will be cooked. For example, sweet potatoes are good when they are roasted. The same is done for the meat. Later when she first cooks the meat, the people will all have a taste of her first meal for them.”