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Chapter Five

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It didn’t take long for them to arrive. 

Camilla traipsed into Jennifer’s home with a bottle of wine raised in one hand. After her came Mila, Amelia, and Olivia, all of them bundled up and bleary-eyed from the long night. Mila grabbed another bottle of wine from her bag and swept a curl behind Jennifer’s ear. 

Jen flashed them a weak smile and said, “You all came.”

“Of course we did. You look like you’ve been through hell and back,” she said. 

“You always know just what to say,” Jennifer said with a laugh. Frankly, she was surprised that she could even muster any kind of smile. That was the magic of the Sisterhood. 

Olivia fetched five glasses of wine from the cabinet in the dining room while Amelia urged Jennifer to change into her pajamas. 

“The rest of us are cozy,” Amelia said as she gestured toward her own sweatpants and sweatshirt. “Why not you, too? Go change, honey.”

Jennifer made her way to her bedroom, the one she’d shared with Joel for nearly twenty years. When she turned on the light, she found a different picture echoed back: a different bedspread than the one they’d shared, along with different artwork on the wall. The girls had insisted that she give the bedroom a makeover in the wake of the divorce. As much as she liked the change, she felt a strange stab of regret over it. She missed her old life. 

When Jennifer reappeared in the living room, Mila turned soft rock on the speaker system and gestured for Jennifer to sit on the cloud-like couch. One of the girls passed her a glass of merlot. The first sip dripped languidly across her tongue. 

“Tell us what happened,” Mila insisted. 

Jennifer puffed out her cheeks, exhausted. “I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know why he has to get so drunk all the time. I get that in our family, the idea of therapy is a strange thing. None of us fully handled Michelle’s death in the right way—”

“Whatever the ‘right way’ is,” Olivia interjected.

“True. Very true.” Jennifer tilted her wine glass and watched the liquid stir in circles. “I feel like there’s something really wrong between my parents. Dad mentioned something about how difficult it’s been lately. Something about my own marriage falling apart.”

“It didn’t fall apart,” Amelia insisted. “You and Joel just erm...”

“Decided you wanted something else,” Mila continued. 

“Something like that.” Jennifer felt the hesitation in her own voice, even though she knew Mila was right. After another pause, she said, “I can’t help but think that it doesn’t even matter if they’re not getting along. There’s no telling what Mom will be like after all this is over. The doctor said she’ll need round-the-clock care, and I just...”

Her voice trailed off into nothingness. Mila squeezed her hand with powerful fingers. 

“It’s always been strained between us,” Jennifer continued. “I can’t even imagine what it was like for them to watch me grow up without Michelle. Her picture is still all over that house. My picture has gotten older, sadder, but she’s remained this beautiful being encased in a frame...”

They all exchanged worried glances. Hurriedly, Jennifer said, “I’m not complaining about growing older. I know it’s such a blessing. I would never take any of it back. I just don’t think I was fully prepared for how painful it would feel. That’s all.” 

After another pause, Jennifer dropped her chin toward her chest. “Gosh, and I don’t know what in the heck to do with the bakery. It’s Mom’s pride and joy. Tomorrow is Saturday morning, which is one of their busiest days.”

“They’ll understand that you need to close it up for a while,” Olivia said. 

Jennifer shook her head, violently. “No. I don’t want to close it. I owe it to Mom to keep it going.”

“But you have your own career,” Mila said. “You said you just took on that new client.”

“Yes, but I also took on an intern to help,” Jennifer replied. “The money is flowing better than ever, and for the first time in a while, I have some extra time.” 

“You aren’t really going to manage that bakery alone, are you?” Amelia asked, arching an eyebrow. 

“I’ll head over there first thing in the morning. I need to update the staff and figure out what I’m going to do,” Jennifer said. “Actually, I should go right away. Now, even. I should check on the calendar, see what’s needed to be done...”

“No!” Amelia cried. “You’re staying here and getting a good night’s sleep. The bakery doesn’t open till seven, and I know for a fact your mom has her manager in place to take care of things.”

Jennifer grumbled as Olivia continued on with Amelia’s cause.

“I know you want to fix everything, Jen, but Amelia’s right. That bakery has been around for, what? Three generations? It’s not like it would go under if you closed it up for a few weeks.”

“That’s not the point,” Jennifer said. “I have to prove to Mom that what matters to her matters to me, too.”

“Stubborn Jen. As usual,” Mila said with a little laugh. 

“It’s not like any of you are any different,” Jennifer returned. 

They all stewed in this for a moment. It was true: they were nothing if not stubborn about their love, about what mattered, about what they fought for in this life. 

“Three generations,” Olivia breathed. “I still remember going to that bakery almost every day after school.”

“Ariane always had the best pastries and snacks prepared for us,” Mila agreed. “We always left there with like four cookies each stuffed in our pockets.”

“Again, we were black holes,” Jennifer said. “And Mom always knew exactly how to cheer us up, especially when things went wrong.”

“That time I broke my arm in third grade,” Olivia said. “She made a whole apple pie because she knew it was my favorite.”

“That’s right,” Amelia said. “And it had just come out of the oven, and we ate it with vanilla ice cream and watched the snowfall outside. I don’t know why I remember that day so well.”

“It’s because Olivia only broke her arm because she was trying to break your fall!” Jennifer said. 

Amelia’s eyebrows popped up on her forehead. “That’s right! Oh my gosh, Olivia, I’m still so sorry about that.”

Olivia shrugged as she sipped her wine. “Remember? I got out of gym for like six weeks. It was a dream come true. I just got to read all the time.”

“That’s right. You’d never been happier,” Camilla said. 

“Oh my gosh. That reminds me. Michelle pretended she had buggered up her arm then, too. Remember?” Jennifer said excitedly. 

All the girls burst into fits of laughter. 

“She always had some kind of scheme, didn’t she?” Camilla said. 

“She pretended to fall off the slide so she could get out of gym, too,” Jennifer said. “And I was so worried she would actually break her arm! I thought maybe, if my twin broke her arm, I would break my arm, too.”

“You guys did have some weird twin things,” Olivia said. “A little bit of intuition.”

Jennifer clucked her tongue. “I swear she knew I was pregnant with Nick on that last day. She could see it in my eyes or even feel it in her belly. I don’t know. But she wanted me to say it aloud. I could feel it.” 

This was something Jennifer had obviously brought up countless times before. Even still, it never grew boring for any of them to recount old stories of Michelle. She was the final reminder of the youth they’d lost. 

More wine was poured; conversation continued on, from memories to current happenings.

“I can’t believe how much Nick looks like Joel,” Mila said. “It’s like looking at Joel’s photo in our old high school yearbook.”

Jennifer chuckled. “Yes, I know. They’re pretty similar in almost every way. I can’t say that’s a bad thing.”

“Two of the best guys I know,” Olivia affirmed. “I keep hoping Chelsea meets a good guy. A guy worthy of her and one that will treat her well. I hope she doesn’t make the same mistake I did with Tyler. I should have known he wouldn’t stick around.”

“Nobody knew what Tyler was going to do next,” Jennifer tried to assure her. “He wanted to be a lone wild wolf or whatever.”

“I guess we had our good times for a while,” Olivia said. “Remember our wedding?” 

“I mean, none of us really remember that wedding,” Jennifer said. 

“Your dad springing for the open bar meant my memories of that are few and far between,” Mila agreed. 

Olivia giggled. “I guess you’re right. Although Jesus. Remember how tight my wedding dress was?” 

“You didn’t eat for like two weeks so you could slide your body into it, and then we had to make sure you didn’t faint!” Jennifer said. 

“True. But I have to admit I look beautiful in the photos,” Olivia said. 

“You were always going to look beautiful,” Mila said as she rolled her eyes. “I’m just glad you didn’t have to have most of the photos taken from the floor.” 

Around one-thirty in the morning, Mila collected Jennifer up and led her toward the bedroom. Once there, she dragged the sheets aside and watched as Jennifer hobbled beneath them. 

“Promise me you won’t work yourself to death with this bakery venture,” Mila said as she knelt slowly and dotted a kiss on Jennifer’s forehead. “You already do so much. And you do most of it by yourself.”

“It’s not like you’re not also keeping yourself afloat alone,” Jennifer returned.

“You know us,” Mila said with a shrug. “We have to worry about everyone else but ourselves first. I’ll wear myself out with worry over you, as long as you wear yourself out with worry over me. Deal?”

“Deal,” Jennifer whispered. 

As she lay back in the darkness, she listened to her dear friends as they tip-toed out into the darkness. There was the sound of the engine, cranked up to deliver them back to their homes across Edgartown. Jennifer cradled herself tighter with all the blankets on her bed, wishing she’d asked at least one of them to stay over. This wasn’t necessarily outside the bounds of what they normally did. Jennifer herself had slept over at Mila’s several nights after Peter’s death. They’d all set up a little tent-hut at Olivia’s after Tyler had left. 

But that night, Jennifer needed to rest up. She needed bright eyes and eager ears in the morning. Frosted Delights Bakery awaited her, and she wouldn’t let her mother down. Not now when she needed her the most.