12

Since Aunt Carol hates Miss Anderson, I

never say anything nice about her in Aunt Carol’s

presence, which is The Rule you’re supposed to

observe when dealing with people who have intense

feelings about things.

Like, you would never go on and on to a

mouse about how wonderful cats are, or tell your

friend, Mr. Snowman, about how much you’re

looking forward to summer, or tell Miss Bruntford

(the cafeteria lady) how sensible it is to not eat

nine or ten pies a day.

I think Aunt Carol is over it all now, anyway,

because I heard her say they were inviting all of

the teachers to the wedding, even “Miss Arty-

Farty,” which I’m almost certain is Aunt Carol’s

code name for Miss Anderson — and is better than

the other one she had for her, which was just a long

string of screamy swear words.