Chapter Thirty

Ryder dialed Lorri, but it went to voice mail again. He was beginning to think she’d blocked his number.

He unfolded the Leafland Ledger News to read the headlines. As he turned the page, a swirl of color caught his eye. He recognized the image, but it took him a minute to remember where he’d seen it before.

On Lorri’s desk. It was just as eye-catching in thumbnail size as it had been printed on a full sheet of paper.

A tick of aggravation gnawed at him as he made the connection. She’d created the logo for Bloom. The crooked man who’d swayed his father out of his land.

“Good morning, Ryder.” Diane walked in the back door carrying a glossy envelope. She poured herself a cup of coffee. “Oh. What’s that face for?”

“Nothing. What?”

She tossed the envelope on the table and pulled out the chair across from him. “You look out of sorts. Haven’t seen that snarl lately.” She nudged him jokingly as she sat.

He pointed at the graphic. “Lorri made that.”

She nodded, then her mouth formed an O. “Oh, Bloom?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well, it’s still a nice logo.”

He inhaled as he shook his head.

“What?” Diane stared at him. “You can’t be pissed at Bloom. Or her for being connected to him. That’s misplaced anger. Bloom didn’t cheat Dad out of our land. He paid a fair price.”

“More than fair. Dad couldn’t say no.” Ryder closed the paper. They’d had this argument before.

“When are you going to let that go? Not having that acreage hasn’t changed our lives one bit. If Dad was still farming it, we wouldn’t have it either.”

“I know.”

“Wh—what?” Diane straightened. “Okay. I didn’t expect that.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am, but this is the first time you’ve said that.” Diane sat up straighter, showing off a toothy smile. “I do like to hear you say it. Can you repeat it one more time?” She leaned forward, pressing her hand to the back of her ear. “Please?”

“You’re. Right.”

“It really has such a good ring to it.” She wrapped her hands around her coffee mug. “You know, you are much easier to be around these days.”

A slow smile replaced the quit-giving-me-a-hard-time look. “It’s easier being me these days.”

“She’s nice,” Diane said.

He nodded his head slowly. “She sure is.” They both knew they were talking about Lorri.

“And you’re not going to hold this Bloom connection against her. Are you?”

“It may have bugged me for a nanosecond, but no. It’s a lovely graphic, and it’s her job. She’s good at it.”

“Very. You know, she sent a whole packet of graphics over for the scholarship. Did you decide on the Lisa Scholarship as the name of it?”

“She and I talked about it. I like it.”

“I do too,” Diane said. “The logo is gorgeous.”

“I knew you would appreciate the symbolism. You always said the eurema lisa sightings meant good change was coming. A symbol of hope. It’s perfect,” he said.

“Just like she seems to be for you.” Diane’s brow arched.

“There’s no such thing as perfection. You know that,” he said.

“No, but you’ve been your old self. Even the kids have been talking about it. We’re happy for you, Ryder. Don’t fight it.”

“We’re friends. Or we were.”

“You mean maybe more than friends?”

“It’s complicated, Diane. More so than you could imagine.”

“Then uncomplicate it.”

He looked at his sister. She’d been just as broken by all of this. For a split second he considered not telling her, but she deserved to know. “Lorri’s brother was the one driving the car that morning in Raleigh.”

She cocked her head. “Jeff Pike?”

“Yes. She said she’d put it together and had to tell me.”

She held her hand to her mouth, then let out the breath she was holding. “I can’t believe it. I bet you were stunned. I am.”

“Honestly, I wish she’d never told me,” he said. “It changes things.”

“It doesn’t have to, Ryder. She didn’t do it.” Diane folded her arms across her chest. “Just like you not driving didn’t allow it to happen.”

It had taken him a long time to accept that. Still felt guilty for it some days.

Diane went on. “We don’t have to figure out the past. There aren’t answers. We know that.”

She wasn’t wrong about that. He got up and dumped his coffee in the sink. “I’m not really comfortable with this conversation.”

“Well, too bad. I’m your sister and you can’t just stick your head in the sand. Look, this whole family was brokenhearted when we lost Valerie and Ronnie Dwayne, and you know what … that is never, ever going to change. Even if you fall into complete and utter happiness it doesn’t erase a thing from the past. It’s okay. No one is keeping score. Forgive yourself. Forgive Jeff. Make Lorri forgive herself and Jeff too. Live, Ryder. You’re almost back. I love it. It makes my heart so happy.”

He saw the hope in his sister’s eyes. “I missed her. Lorri, I mean. In a good way.” It felt wrong even saying it.

“That’s the healthiest thing I’ve heard you say in a long, long time.”

“What would people think?”

“They’d never know, and who cares. It wasn’t their loss to deal with.”

“It scares me to death.” He walked back over and sat at the table. “I can’t go through that kind of grief again.”

“I know.” She placed her hand on top of his. “It’s okay. We’re moving forward. On all of it. The past … well, it was part of the journey. It wasn’t our final destination. No telling where the future turns will take us.” She cleared her throat and tapped the envelope she’d placed on the table. “I brought something to show you.”

“That it?” He glanced up. “Was wondering what that was.”

“It’s perfect timing actually.” She slid the thick stack of paper out of the envelope then swept the first few pages from the top and set the others aside. “These are a few pictures from the Tuggle wedding.”

“Oh yeah.” He reached for them, but she tugged them back.

“Before you look at these—it’s not your imagination, Ryder. What you think you’re feeling with Lorri. There’s something to the two of you together. Everyone saw it that night on the dance floor.”

The words hung there between them.

Finally, he took the glossy sheets from her.

Diane leaned in. “Reece brought these pictures over late last night so I could help her pick out the whittled-down set to share with the bride and groom in their keepsake album. She was so excited to show me these. Not for the couple, but for us. You look so happy. I couldn’t wait to bring them over.”

He looked at the striking black and white photography. At first it didn’t even register that it was him in the picture with the beautiful woman. She was all he could see. Her face glowing in the twinkle lights. His hand balancing hers. Her hands were so soft. Her body warm as they swayed to the music in unison. As delicate as a breeze.

“That’s joy, Ryder. In both of your faces. Look at how relaxed you two are, your hands, posture, the tilt of her jaw and lift in your smile. There’s something there that no one can deny.”

He pulled the picture closer, then stood, turning away from his sister as he studied it. The song played in his mind. Reliving the rush of his heart, his palms dampened.

All the feelings came rushing back.

Ryder looked at Diane. “Right before this was taken, I’d accused her of crashing the wedding, and tried to kick her off the property.” He snickered.

“You were jealous.” She was enjoying teasing him about that.

“I was not.”

“Yes, you were.”

“Maybe,” he conceded, “but honestly I think the motivation was more that I thought she’d broken a confidence. She knew how important the event was to the kids. You know I’d die before I’d let Reece and Ross down. I can’t believe I told her about it.”

“That’s not like you at all, but it turned out fine.”

“Thank goodness. I couldn’t have forgiven myself if I’d done something to ruin everything they’ve worked so hard on.”

“Don’t worry about them. They’ll make it on hard work and gumption. It’s in our Bolt DNA.”

“We do have that.”

“Welcome back, little brother. Your heart is doing more than just pumping blood. You’re appreciating life again.”

“Stop being dramatic.”

“No. You stop.” She snatched the picture from him with her fingertips. “You can’t tell me there’s not something to this. Those two people are not fighting.”

“It resolved quickly.”

“Because there’s something good there holding you two together. All I’m saying is, don’t let this slip away. It’s been seven years. I miss you. We will never know why God called Valerie and Ronnie Dwayne back when he did, nor is there any promise that we’ll ever understand the gravity of it all, but it’s not for us to figure out. You’ve mourned. You survived for a reason. I’m so thankful for the father figure you are to Reece and Ross. I’m so proud of them, and your help has been a positive influence. That’s something I can’t repay you for, but I want my happy brother back. If I can help you make that happen we’ll be even.”

“It’s family. There’s no being even.”

“You’ve done more than I could have ever dreamed of. It’s your turn to dream a little, Ryder. Look at this again.” She held a different picture up this time.

Lorri was laughing in the picture, and he remembered what was going through his mind at that moment. That he could live like this forever with her.

“Dream,” Diane said. “About her. About possibilities. Even if it hurts.”

He reached for the photo. “Can I have this?”

“Of course. Why don’t you invite her to Sunday supper? The kids are both gonna be here.”

“She wouldn’t come. I’m not sure she’s comfortable with us being friends after the other night. She was so upset when she left.”

“That’s for you to fix, and if it’s so you are just friends, that’s fine too.”

“Thank you.”

“You know what they say about love. When you’re not looking is when you walk right smack into it.”

“Diane, go easy on me here. I’m trying. She’s got her own scars to heal too, and they aren’t seven years old.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll try to stay neutral. A little.”

His sister left and he sat there for a good long while in contemplation.

A part of Ryder couldn’t stop living in the moment of those pictures, and yet it terrified him too. He missed her when she was out of town, and it was almost the end of the day and he still hadn’t heard from her. He called, but again there was no answer. It was possible she had meetings stacked up today. That wasn’t unusual. He hung up, choosing not to leave a message.

By four o’clock though, he was getting antsy and finally texted her.

Just checking in on my friend Lorri

She hadn’t responded by dinner time. She had to eat, and he knew she didn’t cook. What she needed was comfort food. She needed Mom’s chicken and dumplings, and he had that recipe down pat.

It was close to seven when he dropped off a casserole dish to his sister’s, then headed to Lorri’s house with one to try to talk to her.

He stood at the door, nerves racing as if he’d downed a vat of coffee. He knocked, and Mister let out a woof, but she didn’t answer.

He knocked again, and this time Mister woofed until she came to the door and peeked outside.

Her hair was a mess, and her eyes were red and swollen.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“I’m not feeling well.”

“I made you chicken and dumplings. It cures just about anything.”

“I don’t think there’s a cure for this,” she said.

It hurt seeing her like this. “Can I at least set this down on the counter for you? It’s still hot.”

“Yeah. Sure.” She backed away from the door.

He walked straight to the kitchen. Mister greeted him happily, and Ryder reciprocated with a head rub. He placed his hand on Lorri’s arm.

She hitched a breath, tensing beneath his touch.

“When you told me you were Jeff’s sister, it was a shock.”

Shivering slightly, she nodded.

“Our stories are complicated. Individually and together. But we’re good for each other. Don’t you agree?”

“Every time you look at me, you’ll think of it. It’s too much to overcome.”

“Lorri, let me decide what’s too much for me.”

“I would never want to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” How could he convince her? “I’m here by my choice. I missed you when you were out of town. I … I’m not saying I can snap my finger and forgive Jeff, but I can tell you that I know I need to.”

“Forgiveness can be hard.”

“I’m aware of that. It’s taken me a long time to forgive myself, and some days I still forget. I want to live in the present, and the future. We said we’d help each other with that.”

She walked to the living room and sat on the couch. He sat next to her and noticed her trembling.

“Wait a second, I know exactly what you need.” He ran to the door, letting Mister follow along. He grabbed a large bag from his truck and jogged back to the house.

Lorri hadn’t moved.

He stood there in front of her holding a big black trash bag.

She managed a laugh. “What is that? Is this some kind of metaphor about my baggage?”

“No, although you did say it was like a trash bag, didn’t you?” He laughed. “No. That Sunday after the steer incident at the fair, I thought you were going to go back and I might see you again.”

“To buy the quilt. Yeah, and I didn’t make it back.”

He handed her the bag. “I’ve been waiting for just the right time. I think this is it.” He wanted more than anything to sweep her into his arms and take care of her.

Lorri reached into the plastic bag, and lifted the thick fabric corner. “It’s the quilt.” She looked surprised. “You bought it for me?”

“I did.” He sat down on the couch. “Coming to see you is the first time I’d set foot on this land since the day my father sold it. That might not mean much to you, but it was a big step for me.”

“I know, and then I let you down.”

“No. You didn’t let me down. Things have moved fast—like an undertow.”

“It has.”

“Whatever this is here between you and me, it’s powerful, and honestly I don’t want it to stop.”

“We both have a lot of baggage, and we don’t know much about each other.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he said.

“I was pivotal in the new material for Bloom.” She watched him for a reaction.

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Admired the draft on your desk, then saw it in the paper. Put two and two together.” He shrugged. “Tell me something else I should know. Your hopes and dreams. Your favorite flavor of ice cream? I don’t know. Start anywhere.”

“I love homemade strawberry ice cream. Hands down it’s my favorite. My grandfather would make it for us.”

“Mine’s chocolate, but I’ll make strawberry for you just like he did.”

“Well, he made us hand crank it. That wasn’t all that much fun.”

“I’ll make the ice cream. You can just enjoy it. It’s Diane’s favorite too.”

“Were you and Diane always close?”

“We fought tooth and nail as kids sometimes, but at the end of the day we were over it. As adults, we couldn’t be closer.”

“And at the end of the day … Jeff and I weren’t.” Her bottom lip trembled. “I could never forgive him, but I have now.” She let out a breath. “I have to.”

He pulled her close. “I get it. You’re right. People let us down. Things happen we have no control over. We don’t have to understand it to survive it, but we might not get through it alone. I think you and I can survive this together. I want you in my life.”

“I’m afraid you’ll hate me for what Jeff did, and I’m afraid I’ll get my heart broken.”

“Don’t be afraid.” He took her hands in his.

“I need some time to think.”

He kissed her on the forehead. “I’m going to give you some time to think, but please don’t leave me hanging. Trust that what we have is something special, and that we can figure that out together.” He stood and took a step toward the door. “I’m coming back in the morning. Okay?”

“Okay.” She pulled her feet beneath her, hugging her knees.

She looked tiny and fragile sitting there alone as he walked out.