Valentine’s Day was a sore spot for Lorri this year, and being stuck in the office surrounded by co-workers’ flowers and shiny foil heart boxes made it worse.
For her it was more than just Cupid’s big day. It was also the one-year anniversary of the day she was convinced Craig was cheating on her. The last-minute business trip had been a disappointment for them both, or she’d thought at the time. He’d said it would be a late night, so she’d decided to arrange delivery of a charcuterie tray and a bottle of their favorite wine to his room. Only when she called the hotel, he wasn’t registered.
That weird swirling that had hung in her stomach as she ended the call that day made a repeat performance.
She’d have sworn on her life that Craig would never be unfaithful.
But when he returned, he ran down the events of his business trip like he always did, and when she asked about his stay at the hotel, he lied right to her face. Had she not known for certain that he hadn’t been there, she would’ve believed him too.
Confronting him had ended in a nasty argument about lack of trust, and her apologizing for doubting him. He’d said the hotel he usually stayed at was full, and he was rebooked somewhere else at the last minute. Lorri still had her doubts.
This year his business trip over Valentine’s Day had been planned for so long that she’d considered ways to track him to catch him in the act.
But if their marriage had come to that, did it matter? Guilty or not, the damage was done. Which is why she’d finally talked to a divorce lawyer.
Her phone rang, bringing her focus back on work. “Lorri Walker. Can I help you?”
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Pam’s voice sang out.
“For you maybe. I should’ve sent myself flowers to the office today. I think I might be the only one without them.”
“They just die anyway,” Pam said. “Took me years to get Bobby to understand that. Finally, I get what I really want. He cooks for me, then rubs my feet. My toes are going to be so happy tonight.”
“I guess Craig is still a work in progress on that.”
“Well, I just wanted to check on you.”
“I’m fine. With him out of town I’m picking up Chinese food, and I’m going to eat it right out of the container. I might even crank up the air conditioner and turn on the fireplace—which Craig would never allow—and just relax.”
“Sounds like a perfect night to me.” Pam’s laugh eased the tightness in Lorri’s chest.
A new email pinged on her phone. “Oh, great.” Lorri sighed as she read the message. “I just got an alert that we’re over the limit on our credit card. Again. I hate it when he does that.” Lorri logged in to their bank’s website to make a payment to the account to cover it.
“Maybe he’s going to surprise you with something amazing,” Pam said with a laugh.
“Highly unlikely.”
“You might want to at least pick up some cheap conversation hearts for him just in case,” she teased.
“Definitely not. They don’t make a conversation heart with what I have to say to him. Although throwing a box of them at him does hold some appeal.” Being a graphic designer, her creative mind conjured up an image of heart-shaped candies dropping in slow motion from the sky all around Craig. As he caught the colorful candies midair, he read them out loud. “Cheater.” Tossing it aside, the next read “How Could U” followed by more in pastel colors like, “It’s Over,” “Bye-Bye,” “U R The Ex,” and “Half Mine.”
“No violence. Never do anything you can’t undo.” Pam’s voice held a hint of laughter.
“One little box wouldn’t do that much damage.” The image made her smile. Hey, babe, she’d say. A little shake-shake of the candies, then wham-o. He’d yelp and look at her like she was crazy. “It might be just the right kind of wake-up call.”
“That would definitely get his attention, but Lorri, you’ve really got to pick a side on this. You’re letting this consume your life. You’re losing confidence because of it. I know it’s not easy, but you have to make a decision.”
“I want him to be faithful. To actively participate in our marriage. What I want is for things to be like they used to be.”
“I get it, but we can’t control anyone else, we can only control ourselves—so your options are to forgive him and let it go, or if you really can’t forgive him then you should leave.”
“How do I forgive?”
“I don’t know, but as long as you keep focusing on how he’s wronged you, you’ve got one foot out of the marriage.”
“Ouch.”
“I just want you to be happy. Marriages make it through transgressions sometimes. I can’t say how I’d react. But love guides us, and forgiveness is key.”
“Seems to me if we were both following the same wedding vows, there wouldn’t be anything to forgive. If I just knew the truth it would be so much easier.”
“I’m sorry this happened to you,” Pam said.
Lorri looked down. With a shake of her head, she said, “Me too. I still love him.”
“I know you do. You’re hurting, and a year is a long time to hold on to this.”
“You’re right, it’s no way to live, and I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but it makes me feel like a failure.”
“Honey, you’re not.”
Lorri scanned the charges on the credit card. “I don’t believe this.”
“You are not a failure. You’re wonderful—”
“Not that. I’m looking at the credit card bill. There’s a one-hundred-and-twelve-dollar charge for flowers, and last week there was one for three hundred and twenty dollars at a jewelry store.” Jewelry? He’s buying her jewelry? She swallowed back the acrid taste that suddenly filled her mouth.
“Wow,” Pam said. “It looks like Craig finally figured out Valentine’s Day after all. Maybe it’s not too late for him to shape up and be the man of your dreams again.”
“Honestly that did not cross my mind.” She let out a sigh. “I was thinking he bought someone else jewelry. Or maybe he’s feeling guilty.”
“Marriage is hard,” Pam said. “Especially when trust is broken. It’s like a piece of paper you’ve crumpled. When you smooth it out you can use it, but it’s never the same.”
Lorri hesitated, almost afraid to say the words out loud. “There is a little flutter of hope in my heart right now.” She transferred money to cover the over-credit limit. “You must think I’m an idiot for still feeling that way after all my complaining about him.”
“Not at all. You’re the only one who can decide when enough is enough. You’ll never hear judgment from me. I’m your friend. Your happiness is what matters to me.”
Lorri smiled into the phone. “Thank you. Have a wonderful celebration tonight. Hug Bobby for me.”
“Will do. Call if you need me.”
“I’ll be fine. Bye.” Lorri hung up. Pam was a true friend. The other women they’d met through neighbors, husbands, and country club events. Dutiful wives, all of them. The social time and girls’ lunches were necessary for life balance, but the women weren’t the kind of friends you confided in. It was Pam who had convinced Lorri to confide in their friend Kelsey, the best divorce attorney in Raleigh, about her options so she’d know what to expect if it really came down to that.
She didn’t know if she’d take the next step. She loved Craig—well, the person he’d been when she married him. For better or worse, but this last year was in the worse column for sure. She strongly suspected, but couldn’t prove he’d cheated.
Stop overthinking it.
She dialed her favorite Chinese restaurant. “Order for pickup.” She recited the order from memory. “Wait, cancel the General Tso’s Chicken.” That was Craig’s favorite. Tonight was about her, not him.
When she got home, she didn’t park her car in the garage like Craig always insisted. Instead she parked in the driveway, carried the takeout inside, and set her keys on the entryway table.
Craig’s voice startled her from across the room with a throaty “Surprise!”
She juggled the bag as she spun around. “What are you doing here? I thought you were—” She took two steps into the great room then stopped. Craig sat on the couch petting a dog, which made no sense at all because Craig hated dogs. “Why is there a dog in our house?” The dog’s long tongue lolled out of the side of his mouth in a weird grin.
Craig raised the dog’s paw. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”
“What?”
“You’ve always wanted one. Right?” He held a shredded red ribbon. “He was wearing a bow, but you’re late. It didn’t survive the wait.”
“I…” Part of her was suspicious, but she was genuinely touched by the unselfish gift. “Yes, you know I have.”
She knelt to the floor.
Without a moment of hesitation the pup raced across the hardwood floor toward her. His short tail wagged at such a frantic pace it looked like his rear wasn’t attached to his front.
Lorri wrapped her arms around him. With a lap full of dog and a face full of puppy breath she couldn’t do anything but laugh.
When she glanced up, Craig stood looking down at them. “What is all this? Why now?” she asked.
“Why not?” Craig shrugged. “He loves you already. See?”
The pup’s soft fur tickled her cheek.
“I know things have been off lately, Lorri.”
“You’ve been more than a little distracted.”
“And you’ve been angry for over a year.”
“Well, yes, but—”
“I thought the dog would make you happy. That’s all I ever wanted to do.”
There was hope in his eyes, but could she trust him? It was true. Craig had navigated her through troubled family life since she was a teenager, and as soon as he had a job, he married her. “Things have changed. It’s not even polite between us anymore.” She stroked the dog. “Sometimes I don’t even want to come home.”
“We’ll fix it. We’ll do more things together. The dog’s an olive branch. It’s my way of letting you know that your happiness is my priority.”
The pup lapped at her ear.
“He makes you happy, doesn’t he?”
When Craig smiled like that, the lines pulling at the corners of his eyes, it reminded her of days when they laughed more. She pressed her face to the dog’s. “You are adorable.”
The dog licked her cheek as if he knew what she’d said.
“I can make you happy too,” Craig said.
“You’ve been there at my side through the hardest times in my life.” A tear slid down her cheek. She sat back on her heels, and Craig lowered himself beside her.
He moved his hand to her lower back, the way he knew would melt any resistance she had left. He hadn’t touched her like that in so long. Before she could calculate the last time, he kissed her with a gentleness she’d never known with him.
She tried to resist all of his efforts.
“You like him, don’t you?” Craig’s eyes were wide as he waited for her answer.
“He’s sweet.” Plan B: Can I take the dog and run? Why would Craig give in after fifteen years? A red flag waved, but it quickly turned into a cute garden flag with puppies on it.
The dog lapped his tongue up one side of her face, then nuzzled her ear.
“Craig, this doesn’t fix our problems. We need to talk about it.”
“You’re right.” He wasn’t angry, his voice surprisingly calm. “I’m tired of talking about it, Lor. I hate reliving my mistake over and over and over.” He looked away, shaking his head.
She stared at him. He hadn’t gotten defensive. It was also the first time he admitted he was at fault. “You were seeing someone else.” She held her breath.
He stood there quietly for what seemed like forever.
She waited, resisting the urge to lash out and push for answers.
Finally, he lifted his chin. “I’m sorry. It was a mistake.”
She pressed her lips together to keep them from trembling. She was wrong, it wasn’t better to know for sure.
“Please say something,” he pled. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”
“I know you bought flowers and jewelry.” Her eyes darted around the room. “I don’t see them.”
“You’re watching the credit card?”
“Over-credit-limit alert,” she said.
“Again?” He raised his hand. “I’m so sorry.” He closed his eyes and took in a long breath. “This isn’t how tonight was supposed to go. I couldn’t decide what to get you. I canceled the flowers, and the jewelry has been returned.” He shrugged. “I wanted today to be perfect.”
“What about the meeting?”
“I took the call remotely. Declined the dinner.”
“You love those dinners.”
“I do, but I love you more.” He hugged her close, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Are we okay?”
She sucked in a stuttered breath. “I love you too.…”
He pulled back, looking her in the eye. “But?”
The dog squeezed between them, making them laugh. “Is he house trained?” she asked.
“At eight weeks?” Craig laughed. “Hardly. I’ve been cleaning up pee for an hour waiting for you to get home.”
“He’s huge for eight weeks old. What kind of dog is he?”
“I know you don’t like those froufrou purse-sized dogs. This guy seemed perfect. The breeder said they have a great disposition. Easygoing. Good with kids. He’ll be a gentle giant.”
She was almost afraid to ask. “How big of a giant?”
“I don’t know. Hundred pounds, I guess. Big.” He handed her an envelope.
She slid her finger under the edge of the seal. The puppy barked at the sound, then pounced toward the envelope.
“This isn’t for you,” she said. The Valentine’s Day card had a googly-eyed dog on the front, and inside a pedigree. “A mastiff?” She grabbed her phone and googled the breed. “Craig, they can get to be a hundred and eighty to two hundred pounds. That’s a miniature horse. I can’t handle a dog this big. And he’ll need to be trained. I don’t have time for that.”
“I can handle the puppy training.”
“You will?” Craig’s charm spilled over her like a spell, like it had so many times since the day they met in high school.
“Sure. It’s my slow time of year. It’ll be great. I’ll take him to classes and then we can all practice together.” He tapped his hand on the rug, and the puppy pounced for it. “Look. He’s smart. Sit.”
The puppy sat. He too was under Craig’s spell.
“What will we call him?” It was a rhetorical question. She was already rolling through names in her mind. The puppy was already the size of some adult dogs, but way less coordinated. “How about Mister? If he’s going to outweigh me, I better offer him some respect. What do you think?”
“I like it.” Craig stood and shoved his hands in his pockets.
The puppy cocked his head, then barked.
“Mister it is.” She patted him on the head as she got to her feet.
Craig leaned in and kissed her. Not a peck like they’d become used to, but a slow kiss.
She gave in to the kiss, enjoying it. It’s all she’d dreamed of for the past year.
He touched her cheek.
“Wow.” She said it like a breathless teenager, even though deep down she doubted this would fix their problems. All those words she’d rehearsed hung in her throat, but none of them made it to the surface. Instead, all she said was “Thank you.”
She leaned closer, letting Craig drape his arm around her while the puppy scampered in front of them. Craig’s charm was an asset and a big part of why he was such a darn good salesman. No one could resist him, not even her after over fifteen years of marriage. Or maybe it was just easier than starting over.