After high school, you’ll know whether you went to church because your parents made you or because you had a strong faith. Stay strong in what you believe. It’s hard when your relationship with God is lacking. Nothing is worse.
HOLLY S., sAGE 21
God is a perfect gentleman. He is always available to you, but He won’t intrude on you. He waits for you to seek Him. That means, of course, that you are going to have to find time for God in the midst of all of your activities. It won’t be easy, because there will be many things competing for your time: friends, college, job and, occasionally, sleep.
In the last chapter we talked about how God deserves to have top priority in our lives. In this chapter we’ll talk about practical ways that you can make sure that will happen.
Does the heading to this section shock you? (If you aren’t shocked, at least your parents will be.) Let us explain what we mean. For about 18 years you have been living under your parents’ roof and have been abiding (more or less) by their rules. You have adhered to their principles and respected their opinions. Much of what they believe has probably rubbed off on you. You might have even adopted their faith as your own without many questions.
Having your parents’ faith may have gotten you through high school, but it won’t cut it in the real world after high school. Your beliefs are going to be questioned, challenged and attacked. If you don’t know what you believe and why you believe it, your faith will be crushed.
We aren’t saying that you can’t have the same faith in God that your parents have. But you need to understand that it has to be your faith. Your relationship with God needs to be personal—you and Him. You cannot have a relationship with God vicariously (through your parents).
You won’t get to heaven just because your parents have faith in Jesus. God doesn’t have any grandchildren.
Suppose that a few years from now you fall in love and become engaged to be married. How would you feel if, during the period of your engagement, you never received a call or a visit from your future spouse? Oh, there were good intentions to spend time with you, but too many activities got in the way. Well, we all know that your wedding plans would be tossed in the dumpster.
Imagine how God feels when we ignore Him. We might have good intentions, but they frequently fizzle out. Do we really expect to wake up at 5 A.M. for a little Bible reading if we were at a party until after midnight? Fortunately, God won’t throw us in the dumpster, but we can’t expect that our relationship with Him will develop if we are continually giving Him just the leftovers of our time and energy.
Talking to God
Prayer is nothing more than talking to God. We don’t mean that it is an insignificant endeavor—quite the contrary. Talking one-on-one with the Creator of the universe is a huge deal. But many people get all flustered by it because they think they have to talk to God in a strange, uncomfortable way.
• They may think they have to use old-fashioned English phrases. They throw in a lot of “thee” and “thou” expressions. Basically, they must think that God likes to hear people talk like Shakespeare.
• They may think they must make their voice sound “spiritual.” All that happens is that they end up sounding like the narrator at the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland. (God isn’t scared by it, but we don’t think that He wants us to feel obligated to get voice lessons in order to talk to Him.)
• They may think they must engage in some long and protracted soliloquy that reviews the history of mankind and covers all people—living and dead—who have ever populated the globe (and who must be mentioned by name). If this is your understanding of prayer, then you can only do it if you can spare an entire evening and can talk for several hours without breathing.
Prayer should be like natural conversation: Talk to God about what is bugging you; thank Him for how He has taken care of you; ask Him for guidance in the problem areas of your life.
Just be yourself when you are talking to God, but remember who He is.
• Don’t treat God like some sort of celestial vending machine that will drop whatever you want down from heaven.
• Don’t patronize Him. He is not some old, senile, drooling grandfather in the sky. He is not going to fall for your “If I do this for you, then you should do this for me” routine.
• Be honest with Him. After all, He knows when you are being truthful and when you are being hypocritical, so don’t try to fake it with Him.
The important thing about prayer is that you do it regularly.
You’re probably wondering, Since God knows everything, including what I’m going to say, then why should I pray to Him? That’s a fair question. We think that prayer is for our benefit—yours and ours—not God’s. When you pray,
• you remind yourself that God is in control;
• you acknowledge that He deserves your worship; and
• you curb your pride and independence by submitting your concerns to Him.
Listening to God
There are two ways that you listen to God. The first is by being quiet during some of your prayer time. You can’t hear God speak to you in your thoughts if you are doing all of the talking.
The other way to hear what God says is to read the Bible. After all, the Bible contains His words, and it was written for you. We know that Bible reading can seem like a chore at times, but that is usually because people have the wrong attitude about it.
• They may think the Bible is an antiquated history book with no relevance for today.
• They may think the Bible is full of a bunch of fairy tales and has no relevance for real life.
• They may be intimidated by the size of the book—lots of pages, fine print and no pictures (though sometimes some nifty maps).
• They may fall asleep while reading it (which usually happens because they are reading at the end of the day when they are in their pajamas and tucked under the covers).
On the other hand, you will find great excitement in the Bible when you remember that it is
• the owner’s manual for your life, which has been painstakingly written by your manufacturer;
• a true, historical account of intergalactic battles between the forces of good and evil (and you are the prize that they are fighting over);
• a manual for success in the areas of relationships, finance and employment; and
• a guide for the future—your future—that will tell you precisely how your world is going to end and what happens after that.
The important thing about studying the Bible (just like prayer) is that you do it regularly.
The New Testament describes the Church as the “body of Christ” (1 Corinthians 12:12) and compares each follower of Christ to a body part. This analogy tells you two things (to illustrate them, we will assume that you are the large intestine in this body):
• First, the Church won’t work properly if you aren’t participating. A body needs its large intestine to function properly.
• Second, you won’t be spiritually functioning as God designed if you aren’t participating in a church. You will be just like a large intestine flopping around all by itself, unconnected to the rest of the body. What a mess.
When you are out on your own, you’ll be tempted to skip church from time to time. Don’t do it. Get connected with a group of believers so that you are encouraged and held accountable in your spiritual walk.
Which Church Is the Right One?
If you move away from home, you will be faced with the task of finding a church in your new town. There will probably be a lot of churches to choose from. How do you know which one is right for you? Good question.
Here are a few clues for finding a good church:
• Start by looking for a church that’s similar to the one you attended at home. Remember that there may be some tough going in your new circumstances and you may need a place where you feel spiritually “at home.”
• Look for a church that focuses on the Bible. Does the minister preach from the Bible? Is he interested in the words of God, or is he preaching sermons like “The Importance of a Smile” and “Do Your Part to Prevent Forest Fires”?
• Seek a church with a family atmosphere. Are you going to be able to meet and know people at a meaningful level? Your church experience needs to be more than just sitting through a praise chorus concert (although that type of worship is great); you need to be developing deep friendships with other believers.
• If transportation is a problem, search for a church that has a ministry for college students on your campus. The chances are good that arrangements for transportation are available. There may be churches that offer Bible studies and other activities on campus.
• Look for a church that offers service opportunities. As a college student, your life will be lived in a bit of a bubble. In many respects it can be extremely easy for college students to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. You may be interested in finding a church that gives you opportunity to serve, both at the church and in the community.
An important part about going to church is that you do it regularly. This doesn’t win you extra credit with God, but it will help you personally, and your participation will help the other members in your church family.
How Can I Find Christ on Campus?
As we discussed in chapter 2, you will have some interesting challenges if you are attending a secular college or university. If that is the case, then find a Christian group on campus. There are many organizations designed for Christian college students—Campus Crusade, Collegiate Navigators and InterVarsity, among others (their websites are listed in chapter 11). While these groups don’t replace your need to be involved in a church, they are designed to provide you with a Christian support group on campus and in the dorms.
As we spend time talking about issues of the Christian faith with people your age, there is one question that keeps popping up: How can I know God’s will for my life? That is a great question, and you’d probably like to know the answer to it.
Well, we’d like to give you a definitive answer to it, but we don’t have one. We are convinced that there is no single formula for finding God’s will, but there are some principles that might be helpful to you in the process of seeking His direction for your life.
1. God isn’t trying to play a guessing game with you. He is not trying to make His will difficult to find. He is anxious for you to know what He desires for you.
2. Most of the time, there is not one single, overriding plan for your life. Don’t worry that you might guess wrong and get stuck with God’s Plan B for your life instead of the better Plan A. Some people fret that if they make one minor misjudgment of God’s will, then they will be off track for the rest of their lives. (For example, you might worry, Oh, what if I should have taken the World Civ course instead of Psychology? What if the person God wanted me to marry was in the World Civ class? Now I will never meet that person, and I’ll get stuck marrying somebody else.) Think about it. Before the world was created, God knew what choices you would make. He is not going to be surprised by what you choose, and He can work the circumstances around your choices.
3. There are a lot of areas where God’s will doesn’t matter. For example, we don’t think He particularly cares which breakfast cereal you choose or which parking space you select.
4. God’s will has momentum. It seems that He moves us along in the direction that we are supposed to be going. Drastic changes at the spur of the moment are possible in God’s will, but it seems that He usually goes with a more methodical approach. (For example, before He calls you to be a missionary in China, He might have you working in a cross-cultural ministry in your hometown.)
5. God equips you for doing His will. He has given you a specific personality and spiritual gifts. He has given you certain aptitudes, talents and skills. Don’t you think it is likely that His will for your life is going to involve your unique characteristics?
6. Prayer plays a big part in knowing God’s will. Remember that prayer involves listening to God as much as it does talking to Him. Don’t expect to hear a James Earl Jones-type voice booming down from heaven. Instead, allow God to direct your thoughts in the quietness of your prayer time with Him.
7. God’s will isn’t so much a time or a place or a person. It is primarily a condition of your heart. God wants you to be willing to serve and follow Him. He wants you to be moldable and moveable. You should spend your time working on your relationship with Him, and let Him be responsible for arranging the circumstances of your life to guide you where He wants you to be.
Here’s an amazing thought: Everything you need to know about God’s will is in the Bible. Now, don’t panic. It is not revealed in some secret, obscure verse in Habakkuk that you have never read (although there may be quite a few verses in Habakkuk that you’ve never read). Nope. It is right there in plain view in the New Testament.
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ ” (Matthew 22:37-39).
There it is! That’s God’s will for you—that you love Him and show love to those around you.
We can almost hear you thinking, It can’t be as simple as that! But it is. If you are actively involved in knowing and loving God and if you are obeying Him, then you are doing His will for your life.
In this book, whenever you came to the Moving On section, we sent you to the next chapter—until now. Now it really is time for you to move on—past the back cover of this book and into real life.
We are sincerely excited about what lies ahead for you in your life after high school. Yes, there will be a mix of thrills and tragedies, but we are confident that you are going to find adventure in all of the experiences that are part of your new responsibilities and freedom.
We like the way Peter ended his first epistle to the Christians in Asia Minor:
My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that the grace of God is with you no matter what happens (1 Peter 5:12).
That is our purpose in writing this book to you. We hope you have been encouraged to step boldly into life after high school with the realization that God wants to lead you in that journey.