Because you are reading this book, you are probably a recent high school graduate or at least counting the days that you have left.
For your first 17 years or so, your parents and other adults dictated the circumstances of your life. In a big way, they decided where you would live, what you would do and with whom you would do it. Oh, sure, you had your own personally selected group of friends, and you had freedom of choice to a limited degree. But let’s be honest: It wasn’t really your choice to spend the Fourth of July weekend at Great Aunt Marion’s house while she recovered from her bunionectomy.
By your eighteenth birthday and high school graduation, however, you enter an awkward transitional stage. We don’t mean awkward in the sense of being uncoordinated and clumsy. (That happened in middle school. You have, no doubt, outgrown that stage and now move with grace and dignity—or at least without stumbling over the paint lines in the parking lot.) We mean awkward in a bizarre sense:
• The law says you are an adult, but your parents say you aren’t.
• You are old enough to join the military and fire antiaircraft missiles, but your parents don’t want you playing paintball because you might get hurt.
• Your parents tell you to assume more responsibility for yourself, but they feel compelled to remind you to carry tissues when you have a cold.
What you could use at this awkward stage of your life is exactly what you don’t think you need: advice. We’re not talking about the advice your parents gave you during those lectures you didn’t listen to. We’re assuming you already know these things:
• If everybody jumps off a cliff, you shouldn’t do it.
• Don’t drive without a seat belt; don’t run with scissors; and don’t step outside the house in just your underwear.
• Smoking cigarettes is a disgusting habit (even if it qualifies you to be a plaintiff in a multimillion-dollar lawsuit against the tobacco companies).
We’re talking about advice on the aspects of life that you haven’t experienced yet.
You know a lot about what you know. But you don’t know much about what you don’t know.
Your lack of knowledge doesn’t mean you can’t survive on your own; it just means you need to learn a little bit more about what you don’t know.
When your parents tell you these things, (a) you won’t listen, or (b) they will be upset (or at least disappointed) if you don’t follow their “suggestions.” But not us. We don’t know you, and we haven’t shelled out big bucks for 18 years to keep you in high-fashion footwear and braces. So our feelings won’t be hurt if you question our wisdom or scoff at our advice. But just in case you’re worried that we might get a little parental on you, here’s what we promise:
• We’ll be objective with you. We’ve got no ulterior motives. Unlike some parents, we aren’t looking to you to support us in our old age. So we don’t have any particular career path already picked out for you. We don’t care if your ideal job is to publish newspapers or to deliver them. We’ll tell you the good and the bad and the pros and the cons without trying to influence you. We’ll give you the facts as we see them, and then you can make up your own mind.
• We won’t lecture you. There is no finger wagging in this book. Our eyes won’t bulge and our faces won’t turn red as we tell you this stuff. We’ll stay calm and serene. We have opinions, and we’ll let you know them. But we know that you have opinions, too. Unfortunately, we can’t hear your opinions, but we respect them anyway. After all, we know it is your life we are talking about, and we’ll assume that you aren’t trying to mess it up on purpose. So we can’t say that our opinions on everything are definitely right for you and that yours are wrong. Consider what we have to say as “friendly suggestions.” That’s how we intend it. You can take it or leave it.
• We’ll be interactive with you. We are anxious to hear your feedback. What did you find useful in the book? What could be tossed? Is there something with which you strongly agree or disagree in this book? Do you have insights and experiences of your own that other people could learn from? Well, let us know. We promise that we’ll personally respond to you. There are several ways you can contact us.
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E-mail: |
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Website: |
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Snail mail: |
Bruce and Stan |
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P.O. Box 25997 |
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Fresno, CA 93729-5565 |
Let us know how things are going for you at any point in the process.
Well, you’ve been reading this introduction long enough. It’s time to jump into the book and start thinking about your future. You can start right at chapter 1 and go straight through, or you can skip around. It doesn’t matter to us. You decide for yourself. You’re getting ready for real life, so you better start making decisions on your own (although we’ll admit that most decisions in your life will be much more difficult than deciding which chapter to read next).