Theron
Tears fell down my mate’s face, and her fear roared through our bond like an avalanche. My heart hurt. But more than that, my beast saw red and I saw death, but so proud. My mate was a marvel, taking the revenge she needed, killing men who needed killing, and then walking away. She was far from healed, but she had done the important work on her own. It was time for me to come in and help her over the last hurdles she needed to glue the broken bits back together. I was right, she was perfect for me. Our beasts matched, but so did our souls.
My griffin screamed a war cry against the solid walls of my mind, shrieking out the anger and pain that coursed through me. He clung to his mate, deep in our bodies, and tucked her into the shelter of his massive wings. I didn’t know how to help her, not yet, but I did know I would do anything necessary to make her happy, and banish the shadows.
Slowly, I stood from where I had knelt on the cold tile floor, and turned on the shower. The steam filled the small room, and I held out my hand to Whisper, who shook her head back and forth, shrinking away from me again.
“The heat will help the sore muscles, love,” I said, not moving an inch from where I had been waiting. “Two days on the back of a bike, a change for me, and stress for you, and some grit that we are working out between us, we both need to feel clean.”
“I can’t.” Her eyes blinked up at me, before looking back down to where my cock was still hard in my sweats. The dark stain from where she had been sitting had run into the cum that coated the inside of my pants. “You’re still…” She looked back up at me, and then down at her hands. “You want.”
“Whisper,” I sighed, running my hands over my face. “You own this.” I grabbed my far-too-hard cock. Even an orgasm hadn’t gotten the fucker to go down, and I suspected it would be hard around my mate until we fulfilled the last of the bonding, which would be some time, judging by the fear in her eyes.
Frustration blasted through the bond, and it wasn’t mine. Her brows had knit together, and she wrung her hands like her life depended on it.
“Please let me clean you.” Holding out my hand again, I waited. “This isn’t about sex. This isn’t about taking, this is me needing to care for you. My beast demands that I fix this between us. That I make you see, believe that I won’t hurt you.”
“You feel safe,” she mumbled, still not looking up. “Your scent makes me feel good.” Whisper's eyes ticked to me, and then away again. “But Mama said that my mate would make me taste home. And it was a lie. Daddy stole from us the moment Mama was in the ground. Les was a beast when Cherry was gone. Finn spiraled after Holly bit him. I don’t want that.”
“And that won’t be us.” I took a step closer, still holding out my hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’ll become the monster,” she whispered. “My monster is already too big.”
That was for sure. Her animal felt like it filled every molecule when she was riled up. Alpha didn’t even begin to describe the heaviness that was inside my mate. But I was a beast to match her. To support her. “I’m not going to die tonight, mate,” I told her, carefully lifting one of her hands in mine. “For tonight, let me show you how a good mate treats you. Let me make you my queen.”
She huffed off a dry laugh, and maybe it was a little cheesy, but she let me pull her from her spot on the closed toilet lid and into the most spacious shower. The rain head had filled the space with thick steam, heat that sank into my bones and relaxed. The fall of water felt like heaven as it poured over my aching body. Two quick changes had made everything hurt, and I was already chilled from the long ride from Missouri. Spring might be in the air, but no one had told the overnight frost that.
“Oh this is good.” My mate tipped her head up and let the water hit her full in the face, her dreads hanging thick as they were saturated with water. “I haven’t showered in I don’t know how long.”
“Kai said months. That you have been gone since November.” I pulled a bottle of body wash off the shelf and sniffed it. It smelled like cherries, sweet and tart. Grabbing a washcloth, I doused it with the liquid and rubbed it between my hands until it frothed. “Four months, mate.”
“Yeah,” she hummed, rubbing water from her eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Caring for you,” I told her as I ran the soapy cloth down one arm, picking it up to drag the rag between each of her delicate little fingers. Her eyes never left mine as I turned her gently and picked up the next hand, giving it the exact same treatment. “Sex is off the table mate,” I reminded her, turning her until her back was to me. “But this? This I won’t let go.” Running the washcloth over her back, covering all of the beautiful lines of ink that covered her porcelain skin, letting it drip down over her ass, between her cheeks, I used the cloth as a barrier. Something to keep from spooking her. I knelt slowly, starting at her toes and working my way back up. “This is how we bond,” I explained. “I will care for you, and you will care for me.”
I looked up at her as I reached the junction of her thighs, seeking permission to continue. She shook her head, eyes leaking new tears. “I can’t.” Whisper looked away, stepping back under the rain of water, and let it rinse away all of the soap. “Not there.”
With a nod I stood, holding out the hand that was empty and pulled her back to me. “Baby steps,” I told her, running the washcloth in circles over her taut stomach. With just that gentle touch, even through the fabric, I could count every single one of her ribs. My beast hissed in my middle. I needed to feed her. Clean her skin and feed her belly. “Shower, then dinner.”
“Shower, then sleep,” my mate muttered. “I’m not hungry.”
“You’re bones.” I ran the cloth between her small, tight breasts and over the claiming mark that I had left. “Too long without real food.”
“I’m not hungry,” she growled as I went to work my way back down her side. “You don’t listen.” Whisper looked up at me with black as pitch eyes. “Isn’t that how it works, mate?” she asked, tilting her head to the side as she took the rag from me, running it down my chest to where my cock was still hard as stone. The abrasive fabric caught my dick up tight as she squeezed me, a growl rumbling through her chest.
“Stop,” I hissed, grabbing her wrist but not forcing her to move her hand. “You don’t let me touch, you don’t get to either. It’s not fair.”
“But men don’t care about fair,” she purred, pushing me back until I was pressed to the cool tiles of the shower. “You only care about getting off.”
“Not true.” This time I did pull her hand away, I turned and rinsed. “This isn’t how it’s going to go, Whisper.”
“Ah, here it comes.” Her voice was like ice, not at all the quiet sadness that had been filling our bond with tentative warmth. I felt like I’d been plunged into a bucket of ice. “You’re going to lay down the law, are you, mate?”
“Hot and cold, that’s what we’re playing?” I asked, looking at her. Really taking in the way she held her body. “Or is it something else?”
Dominance blasted through our bond, full force, like she had been holding it back. My knees cracked against the floor tiles. “What do you think, mate?” Whisper bit off. “You’re so wise, so worldly. What game am I playing? Hmm?”
“No game,” I choked on the heaviness that filled me, gasping for that little bit of air I could suck in around the weight of my mate’s beast. “Your animal is sick, Whisper.” And that was it. The divide I had been feeling, seeing for days. Without the fear and stress of getting us to safety, I could finally see it. Her bear was the cold blast of winter, while my mate was the beautiful possibilities of spring. “You give her too much control.”
“Whisper doesn’t give me shit,” the beast hissed at me, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at her. “She’s stealing from us.”
“No,” I told her, taking her hand in mine, and rubbing circles over her wrist. “She’s perfect. You’re perfect. But you can’t walk around in her skin.”
“Who do you think took all the abuse, griffin?” the bear in my mate’s body growled, her chest rumbling with the sound as it echoed off the tiles. “Who do you think shielded her from the touch of unworthy men?”
“That time has passed.” Slowly I stood, reaching up to run my fingers gently over the curves of her face. “It’s time to rest, bear. I’ve got you now.”
Slowly, the darkness drained away, leaving a panting and terrified Whisper cradled in my arms. “She’s so big.”
“It’ll be okay, the bond will help steady her. Scar will help calm her.” I ran my hands up and down her back as water cleaned away everything we had been holding on to over the last few days. “Let’s get dry. I want food in your belly before we sleep.”
This time Whisper didn’t argue, just let me lead her from the shower, slowly dressing her once she was dry. The fight seemed to have drained from her, but her eyes wouldn’t meet mine. I hurried to dry myself off and threw on a pair of clean sweats and a shirt.
“You want to talk about it?” I asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.
“Frigga is my bear,” she whispered, hands in her lap again, picking at the corner of one of her nails. “She used to be sweet. Mama called her my sunshine bear.” Whisper lay back against the mountain of stuffed toys that ruled her bed. “But then Mama died.” Holding a unicorn stuffy to her chest, she twirled her fingers in the rainbow mane. “Mama went so fast. Daddy sat at her bedside the entire time, but it didn’t take long. One day she was healthy and playing with us in the garden, letting my bear chase her around the rose beds, and the next she was struggling for her last breath.”
“Bears don’t get sick like that,” I told her, taking her hand and pulling her into the circle of my arms. “Why?”
“Daddy said her medicine made her ill. She took these pills every day. But he wouldn’t tell me more.” Whisper shrugged. “It didn’t matter. Mama died, and Daddy became a monster. And he turned my bear into a monster too.”
“She protected you.” It wasn’t a question. It was clear what had happened. “Let him beat on her, so you stayed okay.”
“But I wasn’t.” With a shrug she pulled away from me. “The worse it got, the more control Frigga had. She would push me down into the dark and close me in until I couldn’t see or feel.”
“How long?”
“Mama died when I was seven.” My mate stood with her back to me, shoulders hunched up around her ears. “Les and Kai found us when I was twenty two.”
Shit.
Pain blasted through me, my beast clawing to get out, to fix it. But he couldn’t. Fifteen years with her bear holding her skin. Taking her away at any hurt. Fifteen years of a dominant grizzly walking around as a little girl. “Fuck.” I ran my hands over my head and leaned down until my head was between my knees. Nausea rolled through me. “Whisper, why haven’t you gotten help?” I asked, taking slow breaths as her pain melted into mine. “How long have you been with the Lords?”
“Five years,” she muttered, slipping down to the floor, a new stuffy in her arms, held tight to her chest. “Six now, I guess.”
“And what has your bear been doing since you got here?” I looked at her crystal blue eyes and searched for the darkness. She had a complete divide between the girl and the bear. Like multiple personalities. “What does she do here?”
“Rests,” Whisper said. “She’s been quiet since we have been safe. We change a few times a month. I run with the boys and now their mates too. We roam the forest around Ironwood, but Frigga lets them lead.”
“Love,” I sighed, rubbing my hair with one hand and trying to gather my racing thoughts. “What is she going to do once we’re under the lights?”
“I don’t know.”
Those three words froze my heart. No one should be that separated from their animal. There was a deep fracture in my mate, and I had no idea how to fix it.
“Let's get you fed, little bear,” I hummed, standing and reaching for her. “We both need sleep. Got a big day tomorrow.”
“I’m broken aren’t I?” she asked. And I didn’t know how to answer. “I told you I wasn’t built to be a mate.”
“You are perfect for me,” I told her, pulling her into the circle of my arms and just rocking us back and forth. “You are perfect.”
“Liar.”
* * *
Mama Bear was probably my favorite person in the clubhouse, save my mate. She was everything a mom should be. Bustling around the stainless steel kitchen, Mama made a big fuss about Whisper.
“It’s so good to have you home, lovely,” Mama cooed, pressing kisses to the top of my mate’s head, bringing those big smiles that I hadn’t earned yet. “The boys have been so worried. Baby is nearly beside herself. She would be here right now if she didn’t have her job to do.”
“Who’s Baby?” I asked. My mate had told me nearly nothing about anyone in the club besides the four men and their mates.
“Baby is the lead club girl,” Whisper told me around a bite of roast beef sandwich, the likes of which I had never seen before. “She’s my friend.” My mate took a long drink of the giant glass of milk that Mama had refilled twice since we sat down. “Baby and Joey and Izzy are the main club girls. They do all the things around the clubhouse that the boys don’t do.”
“Only club girls on property now,” Mama said, giving my mate yet another hug. “All the rest are gone. Almost no sweetbutts either. A few. Those they knew, or didn’t have nowhere else.”
“But club girl?” I thought back to the little I actually knew about motorcycle clubs. Most of that knowledge came from watching Sons of Anarchy. “Things the boys don’t do like what?”
“Cooking, cleaning, tending bar, though Tex does sometimes when he’s not at the Bear Den,” Whisper took another huge bite of sandwich. “That’s our strip club.”
“I have so many questions.” I watched as my mate laid waste to two sandwiches stacked so high with meat and veg that I wasn’t sure how she managed to get her teeth around them.
“All in good time, Theron,” Mama Bear said, patting me on the shoulder, and refilling my glass with milk. I couldn’t remember the last time I had drank milk. “The club owns lots of businesses. Tex runs the Bear Den. Holly, my boy Finn’s mate, is his general manager.”
“A strip club.” I guess that tracked, but the casual way my mate had said it brought questions. “And you’re okay with that?”
“Of course I am,” Whisper smiled up at Mama and handed her the empty plate. “Tex is really good at it. Keeps the place clean, no drugs, no under the table dealings, and he treats the girls really well.” Chugging down the last of her milk, my mate sighed. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”
“Told you,” I muttered, pulling her from her chair and back into my lap. I had checked with her a dozen times that that was okay. That lap sitting wasn’t too much. She snuggled in close, pressing her nose to where her claim was still raw on my shoulder. “So, strip club, and?”
“Tattoo shop, dispensary, Kai runs a huge construction company, we have apartments all around Burlington, and Bella, Kai’s mate, owns a bookshop with her mom.” Whisper ticked off her fingers. “There are more.”
“LOKI has been acquiring businesses around the area that weren’t run right. Like the Bear Den and a few other clubs around the state, too.”
“The old timers were one percenters, but Kai didn’t like that. He wanted the club clean, all our clubs. All of Lords.” My mate sighed, her body sagging into mine. “Not everyone likes that.”
“Okay, little bear,” I said, picking her up in my arms. “We can finish story time later.”
“But you didn’t get to meet Baby,” she hummed. “Or Joey. I want you to.”
“Plenty of time for me to meet everyone.” I gave Mama Bear a nod as I carried her out of the room and back up to her quarters.
Locking the door behind us, I tucked her in bed, kicking my shoes off before I joined her. Most of her mound of animals lay victim to space issues, and littered the floor around us. “How do you sleep in this bed?”
“I don’t.” She scooted over to me, until her head was tucked under my chin, and her hands rested between our chests. “I have dens all over the compound.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have one at Les and Cherry’s house, and one at Kai and Bella’s. My den in Fitz’s house has been torn up as they remodel, and the same with Finn’s, but once the construction is over, they promised me I would have a room again.”
“Why so many dens?” I asked, holding her against me, feeling the little puffs of air against my chest as she talked. I counted backwards from five thousand to try and calm myself before I scared her with my cock pressing into her thigh.
“My bear is restless. She needs to have spaces that are safe with all of her boys.” She shrugged, and pressed a kiss to my chest. “Sleep now?” she asked quietly.
“We have a big day tomorrow.” I looked up at the ceiling as her breathing evened out. Glow in the dark stars covered the ceiling, little constellations filling every square inch. “And I don’t know how your bear is going to handle it.”
“Frigga is just protective,” my mate said quietly, sleep filling her words. “Just wants me safe.”
Her bear was protective alright. Protective, dominant, and a danger. And a new problem I hadn’t anticipated. My beast was confident his mate would settle now that they were connected. I had to hope his instincts where right, 'cause we were about to parade Frigga before the world. Fuck.
“Love you, mate,” I whispered, her breathing deep with sleep. “I’m going to fix this for you. Make you safer than you have ever been. I’m going to burn down Paradigm, and salt the earth. I’m going to hold the line when Broken Oath seeks you out, and end the last of them. I’m going to be your avenging angel.”
“Take Les with you, and Peach, she brings the boom boom toys.” Whisper turned in my arms, pressing that perfect ass against my cock, and sighed. “Love you, too,” she purred.
I was completely fucked.