“I guess we should go up to the side barn,” I say, my breath clouding the air in front of me. “At least there’s a security light there, and we can get to it from the road. I don’t think any of us want to go trekking through the cow pastures in the middle of the night, do we?”
“Ew,” Kimi replies, her nose crinkling.
We head down the driveway, trying to keep quiet as the gravel slips and crunches beneath our feet. My heart is beating wildly, both because I’m really sneaking out for the first time and because I finally feel like I fit in. Once we’re on the road, our flip-flops flap against the blacktop in a way that would be totally normal in the middle of the day but sounds eerie this late at night. Once day gives way to night, everything changes. Even the crickets sound menacing.
“Wow,” Mackenzie breathes, “it feels like we’re in a movie or something.”
The other girls nod and I watch their faces. When I try to put myself in their places, I realize how beautiful the elm and maple trees are, draping over the small country road. I admire the stone fences that line our boundaries, fences built by our Irish ancestors generations before I was even a thought in God’s mind—pretty cool, even if they are crumbling in a few places.
I smile to myself and take a deep breath of the crisp country air, feeling content.
Right before the Gumbels’ house we hop a small stone fence and walk up to the barn. I miss Bandit, but I’m glad those crazy dogs aren’t out. It’s scary enough out here at one in the morning without a pack of Cujos running around.
I spin the combination and slide the big barn door open. We walk inside and the smell of straw hits us hard. Dad keeps the hay in here nowadays, but the scent of cured tobacco still lingers. I take a big breath, then notice the other girls doing the same, filling our lungs with past and present. There is a buzz in the air.
Mackenzie throws a blanket down on the ground and we huddle together to wait for the boys. Kimi and Sarah are giggling like crazy, texting Jimmy and Paul on their phones. Mackenzie fishes through her bag while I daydream, thinking about “sneaking out” and my parents and whether or not this would count if push were to come to shove. Technically, I’m still on our property.
“Laura, jump up on that hay,” Mackenzie says. “I want to take your picture.”
Laura looks at me and rolls her eyes. Mackenzie is just as bad as her mother. The three of us get up and walk deeper into the barn. Laura situates herself on a square bale of hay and looks at Mackenzie, waiting for further instructions as if she’s done this before.
“Now, sort of lie back,” Mackenzie instructs. “Yeah! Like that! Hold it.”
The flash goes off brightly in the barn and Laura quickly shields her eyes. I giggle and step behind Mackenzie to see the shot.
“Oh, wow,” I say. With the makeovers from earlier and the backdrop of the barn, this picture is really cool. Like, I could totally see it in a Seventeen Halloween special issue or something. “You look awesome.”
“Do another without smiling,” Mackenzie commands.
A mini photo shoot begins. I love watching Mackenzie zoom in and out, love hearing her give Laura directions as she walks around her muse. Honestly, she has a real knack for photography. The way she positions Laura is fascinating. I mean, I would’ve just put her on the hay and said, “Cheese.” But Mackenzie makes it more artistic, sometimes shifting the camera so that Laura is off-center, and making the blurry shots look purposeful.
“I didn’t realize you were a photographer,” I say to Mackenzie, kneeling down with her as she shoots Laura from below.
Mackenzie snaps the shot and looks at me. “I’m not.”
“You should be, then,” I say. “These are incredible.”
Mackenzie shrugs and stands up, brushing the straw from her knees. “You’re next.”
I stare. “Me?”
“Yeah,” she says, “but over by that tractor.”
By the time she finishes her sentence, she’s already walking over to the small red tractor. She walks around it, pensive, while I look at Laura in bewilderment. Laura rolls off the hay and stands up, brushing off her butt.
“She doesn’t take no for an answer,” she says, and drags me over to Mackenzie.
I look back at Kimi and Sarah, wishing one of them would take a turn instead. But they’re so excited over the prospect of making out (and who could blame them?) that we are the furthest things from their minds as their busy little thumbs race across the keypads of their cell phones.
“I don’t know how,” I mumble.
“Don’t know how to what?” Mackenzie asks, smiling. “Take a picture?” She pats the big back tire of the tractor, motioning for me to take her place.
“Model,” I answer, moving over to her.
“It’s easy,” she says. “Here, let’s just…”
Her words trail off as she goes to work. Before I know it, my T-shirt is twisted around and pulled tightly against my torso, held in a knot at my back by her ponytail holder. I pull at it self-consciously, but she keeps me from covering my now exposed midriff. She bites her lip and looks at my jeans.
I nod, embarrassed.
“Perfect!” she exclaims, bending down on one knee and putting her finger in the hole on my left thigh. I cringe, wishing I would’ve just spent the money at Guess, but seventy-five dollars seemed like so much for a pair of pants I would just grow out of. Oh, god, I sound like my mother—
And then, I hear the rip. Looking down, I gape at the hole, which is now the size of a half-dollar, and she keeps clawing at it, making it even more frayed.
“Sweet,” Laura quips, standing nearby.
Mackenzie pops up and digs into her pocket, producing lip gloss and slapping it on my mouth. For the first time in my life, I know what a mannequin feels like.
Laura pipes up, “Now you know what a model feels like.”
Hmmm… same thing?
Mackenzie smiles as she fluffs and teases my hair. She lifts her camera and snaps a close shot. “Fierce,” she says, looking at the pic on her digital screen. “Let’s get you up on the tractor.”
I don’t move as gracefully as Laura, but the two of them patiently direct and position me, oohing and aahing at a few of the shots. I start to loosen up as I follow Mackenzie’s direction. This is fun and, I don’t know, I feel… pretty.
“I heard there’s a party up in here!”
My head snaps over to the barn door fast as lightning. I know that voice, and a chill runs all the way up my spine and through my ears. I shudder as his shadow runs long across the barn floor and across my head, which is hanging upside down over the hood of a tractor. My mouth fights gravity and opens wide in shock. David Wolfenbaker is standing in my barn.
“Wolf!” Mackenzie squeals, standing up instantly and bounding over to him. She looks like it’s Christmas morning. “What in the world are you doing here?”
“I saw Jimmy at The Square and rode out with him,” Wolf says, oozing confidence as he looks down at her. She twirls a lock of perfect blond hair and cocks out one hip, oozing confidence right back.
The other girls hop up, too, as the guys trickle in, and I’m off the tractor before you can say “redneck.” Paul is there, looking like he won the lottery as Kimi rubs herself all over him in a big “hug.” I personally know that he hasn’t had a lot of luck with the ladies over the years, so I’m glad for both of them. Jimmy James and Sarah are in a deep lip-lock as soon as their bodies collide and I’m guessing there won’t be much in the way of conversation with either couple this evening.
“Ever feel like a third wheel?” Laura asks me, grinning.
“Yeah, I guess we should have been a little more diligent in the text-a-date department,” I joke as I reach around my back, tugging fiercely at the knot in my shirt.
And then Luke walks in.
“Oh my gosh,” Laura breathes.
His frame is impressive in the doorway, his long shadow just one of many filtering through the barn, and his boyish smile is a great substitute for the absent moon. In fact, he looks cute tonight, really cute, yet there’s nothing different about him. I don’t know; same V-neck, same Levi’s, same leather bracelet, but somehow I don’t feel like I’m looking at a guy I’ve known my whole life.
As he ambles toward us, though, Laura tenses up and I feel bad that he’s walking straight for me, as if she doesn’t even exist.
“Dang, looks like we’ve got a bunch of America’s Next Top Models in here,” Wolf says, stepping in front of Luke and leading Mackenzie over to where Laura and I stand.
I shake my head and laugh at myself. It’s Luke, the same old Luke, and I figure I’m just super glad to see him, knowing this isn’t really his scene. It’s always nice to have another ally when Wolf is around.
“Yeah, we all did makeovers,” Mackenzie says. She bats her mile-long lashes and waits for a compliment, but Wolf is staring at me. I mean, really staring. I blush under his steady gaze and avert my eyes. It’s one thing to be looked at, but another to be examined. Mackenzie puts herself back in his line of vision by stepping next to me and draping her arm around my shoulders.
“Doesn’t Ericka especially look gorgeous?” she says, squeezing me.
“She definitely looks… different,” Wolf says.
I make a face at him. “It’s really me,” I joke drily, then walk past them toward the blanket, where Luke is still standing.
“Untie this,” I hiss, my back to him and my arms crossed over my stomach.
“Why you got it all hooched up like this, anyway?” he teases, fumbling with the knot behind me.
“Mackenzie did it,” I whisper back.
“Oh, Mackenzie did it.”
“Ugh! Just shut up and untie me,” I snap back at him. He chuckles and I know he’s taking his sweet time, really enjoying my awkwardness.
The others walk over and take seats on the blanket, Laura looking at Luke and me through narrowed eyes and Mackenzie sitting so close to Wolf that I have to fight the urge to gag out loud. When I finally feel my shirt loosen, I jerk it down quickly and sit, grabbing Mackenzie’s ponytail holder from Luke and using it to pull back my big, wild hair. I don’t have a mirror, but when Mackenzie teased it she said she was going for “Zombie Glam,” which cannot be a good thing.
Luke sits down next to me, flips his blond hair off of his forehead a little, and drapes one arm over his knee, a thoughtful look on his face. “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you in makeup,” he says, his eyes twinkling. His smile is easy, sincere. Boy, am I glad he showed up.
“Yeah, we did this smoky-eye thing from Seventeen. Intense, right? My dad would kill me.”
“But you look great in makeup,” Laura says loudly, almost hysterically, leaning toward us to get in the conversation. “I mean, you could totally be a model.”
“Yeah, if she grew a foot, maybe,” Wolf jokes.
“No, seriously,” Laura continues enthusiastically, her head bobbing. “She’s got a ‘look.’ Tyra Banks is always saying it. Like, real models aren’t drop-dead gorgeous. They’re ‘ugly-pretty’—her words, not mine. Like, unique. Right, Mackenzie?”
I jerk my head back like Laura just slapped me in the face, hard. I shake my head. Did she really just say that?
“Totally,” Mackenzie agrees, her perfect blond head bobbing vigorously. “She inspires the photographer ’cause she’s so different from the average girl.”
I gawk, caught completely off guard by their rudeness and really amazed that both girls are looking at me as if they just gave me the compliment of my life. It’s like, we’re all best friends one minute, and then a couple of guys show up and we’re a bunch of chickens, pecking at one another over nothing.
“That’s stupid,” Luke says sharply, totally out of character, and shoots Laura a look that makes her flush red. “First of all, she’s not ugly-pretty, she’s just normal pretty. What a dumb thing to say. And second, she’s different from the average girl ’cause she doesn’t even need makeup.”
Silence. Luke looks down at his arm and twirls the leather strap around his wrist. I nudge him, and when he looks up at me I mouth Thank you, not trusting my voice since an unexpected lump has found its way to my throat.
“I was just saying…” Laura stumbles over the words, her voice low. “I mean… Tyra—”
“No, Luke’s right, seriously,” Wolf adds loudly. “Some girls wear so much makeup, you’re like, ‘Whoa, are you a girl or a ghoul?’ ” He cracks himself up and Mackenzie titters along with him. Laura is our resident makeup aficionado, a MAC fiend, and never goes anywhere without a totally made-up face. She squirms uncomfortably on the blanket, suddenly interested in her cell phone.
Two minutes ago I might have felt bad for her, but now, I swallow hard and clear my throat before asking her for the time. It’s two AM.
“Ugh.” I yawn, losing that famous second wind and the contented, happy, friendship feeling along with it.
“Oh, are we boring you, Miss Winstead?” Wolf asks, his eyebrows raised.
It’s hard to believe that sitting next to my dream boy late at night on my own property could ever leave me feeling so blasé; but with my drop-dead gorgeous friend perched perkily on his other side, dibs officially called, my normal nervous energy gives way to exhaustion.
“Nah.” I shrug. “I’m just pretty sure I turn into a pumpkin at two.”
Wolf laughs at my little joke and kicks my foot with his. I half laugh, amazed once again at how much power he has over my moods, for better or worse.
“So, Luke,” Mackenzie says sweetly, “do you know who you’re going to take to homecoming?”
She blinks and sort of cocks her head toward Laura, as if sending a subliminal message. I roll my eyes at the obvious setup.
“Um,” Luke says, squirmy. He looks to me for help. I totally know that look, but I don’t know how to help him out of this one so I just shrug my shoulders and give him my most winning smile. He shoots me a looks-could-kill stare and I have to look away to keep from busting out laughing.
“I don’t know,” he mumbles. “I might go stag.”
Laura’s face falls a little, but I don’t feel bad for her. She and Mackenzie both look to me for help, but I’m still recovering from the “ugly-pretty” comments and keep my eyes on my shoes.
“Yeah, if you go stag, you can dance with anybody,” I say, leaning back casually on my palms and shaking my legs out in front of me. I look over at my best friend—Luke. “I might go stag, too. Have my way with the boys.”
Luke and I laugh, easily. No one else does, and that’s okay.
But I notice that Mackenzie and Laura bristle.
“Yeah, like you’re going alone, Ericka,” Mackenzie says to me, her smile a tad forced. “Go with my brother. He’s a sophomore with a car, probably going to be a starter on Boys’ Varsity.”
I know how much Wolf hates Mark, how defensive he is about his spot on the basketball team, and I prepare myself for a meltdown. I’ve seen the silent-treatment side of Wolf, but I’ve never really seen him get angry.
“Sophomore? Yes. Car? Yes. Starter? Hmmm, doubt it,” Wolf says, a tight smile stretched across his lips but cocky as ever. Mackenzie is obviously taken aback but she composes herself quickly, batting her lashes double-time. Then Wolf looks at me, chuckles a little to himself, and turns back to her. “And anyway, what makes you think he’d want to ask Ericka?”
“Oh, like being my date would be the worst thing in the world,” I snap at him.
“Because he adores her,” Mackenzie gushes. “He talks about her all the time. ‘Ericka this. Ericka that.’ ” Her eyes move around the circle and she smiles. I give her a quizzical glance, but she quickly looks away; she’s a terrible liar. I know how nice her brother is and wonder if he’d appreciate her pimping him out like this. Personally, I don’t get the vibe that he likes me that much.
“He’s a great guy, and we could all go together,” she plows on. “Hey! What if Ericka goes with Mark, Laura goes with Luke, and I go with Wolf? We’d have the best time, and my dad would get us a limo!” She says this as if she totally just thought of it off the top of her head. Laura splashes a Wow! Great idea! look across her face. Mega-gag.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Wolf says, putting his hands up and looking at Mackenzie, talking to her as if I don’t exist. “Mark Watts likes Ericka Winstead? Your brother likes Ericka?”
“Geez, Louise!” I cry. “Stranger things have happened, people!”
Mackenzie leans in close to him and nods fervently. “A lot. Wouldn’t they be cute together?”
I groan, sit up, and blow warm air into my palms. Sometimes I feel like I’m in the room and nobody sees me. I sigh, missing the way things were ten minutes ago, when I still felt pretty-pretty.
“Well, folks,” I say, standing up and rubbing my cold hands together. “I think I’m going to excuse myself from this evening’s festivities. I’ll leave the back door open—”
“Wait!” Wolf says, reaching over and grabbing my calf. I freeze. “I’ve got a better idea.”
I look down at Wolf and he flashes that evil half grin of his. My stomach flips nervously. Then I flare my nostrils angrily. For the past month and a half, that devilish grin has meant nothing but heartache for me.
“What?” I ask hesitantly, my eyes narrowed.
“What if you go with me?” he asks, cool and nonchalant.
My mouth falls open, as per the standard. My heart picks up its pace to some kind of double-time beat and I can’t believe my ears.
“To homecoming?” I ask stupidly.
He laughs easily, throwing his perfect head back, and then settles his brown eyes back on mine. “No, to the moon,” he says teasingly.
I feel my jaw lock in place so that I can’t speak. I really want to scream “Yes!” at the top of my lungs, but my brain is processing a million thoughts at once, and it takes me a minute to sort through them all.
First and foremost, David Wolfenbaker just asked me to homecoming. He’s sitting right next to the most beautiful girl in our class, but asked me. Oh. My. God.
Which leads to my second thought, that the most beautiful girl in our class happens to be my friend—actually, my “best friend forever”—and accepting Wolf’s proposal will kind of make me look like an A-hole. Plus, she might murder me in my sleeping bag later.
Not to mention that a few hours ago, Wolf specifically told me on the phone that he was only asking Mackenzie to homecoming to make her brother mad… and so he’s probably only asking me out to make her brother mad… and so he probably doesn’t love me and want to marry me and make out with me at the dance.
In the few seconds it takes me to stare at him and think about this impossible dream, Mackenzie cuts in, laughing in a borderline maniacal way. “Oh, no, no, no, silly,” she says, pulling Wolf’s arm so that he looks over at her. “Mark really likes Ericka.”
“Well,” Wolf says, his evil grin widening as he looks back over at me, “maybe I really like Ericka, too.”
I stop breathing. It just happens. His face is perfection, his eyes twinkle in the security light shining through the barn slats, and he just said he likes me… maybe. Agh! David Wolfenbaker maybe really likes me!
I. Am. Dying.
“Well?” he asks, grinning from ear to ear. Then he gets up on one knee and grabs one of my hands. “Rosie Jo, will you go to homecoming with me this Friday?”
A sigh escapes me. A chill runs up my spine. I can’t take it.
I steal a glance around the circle. Luke looks just as surprised as I am, his mouth in an O shape, like he wants to say something but can’t. Laura looks hopeful, her eyes wide, like she’s getting rid of her imaginary competition. And Mackenzie looks worried, leaning up on her knees, her eyes bugged out as if in warning.
I take a deep breath and know that I’ll have regrets either way.
“Okay, you goofball,” I say, laughing and shaking him off, powerfully fighting the urge to turn celebratory cartwheels around the barn. I squat back down on the blanket and cross my arms. “But I don’t fast dance.”
He laughs and surprises me by giving me a hug, wrapping me up in his soft Abercrombie hoodie and cologne… which is just about the single most perfect moment of my whole life.
Except for Mackenzie glaring at me over his shoulder.
“Where’s the booze?” Paul Foster asks, breaking away from Kimi and standing over our little circle. It’s obvious that he’s been drinking already.
Still, as he sways unsteadily over our group, I’ve never been happier to see him. The last five minutes have been pretty awkward over here on the blanket. Laura has been trying to find common ground with Luke by asking about tobacco, but he’s fallen into one of his quiet spells all of a sudden. I thought Mackenzie was going to cry, but then she flipped some sort of imaginary switch and went into super-cheerleader mode, babbling on and on about Wolf’s team through a forced smile, all the while shooting me murderous looks when he wasn’t looking.
I’ve tried keeping up with both conversations, but my mind is in overdrive, trying to figure out if I did the right thing. I guess I sort of feel guilty in a way, but I also feel within my rights. I mean, I know she called dibs and I said I’d back off, but I was still stinging from the “ugly-pretty” comments. Plus, she was totally manipulating the whole homecoming triple-date scenario, without asking if I even wanted to go with Mark. As her friend, I should have said no to Wolf… but as my friend, it wasn’t fair of her to ask me to.
Ugh. It’s a bad situation for sure; but if Wolf feels the tension, he seems to enjoy it, whistling the whole time and kicking my shoes with his—which sends tingles up my leg and provokes Mackenzie even more. So Paul and his need for alcohol are a welcome distraction.
“Y’all hardly drank any of it!” he exclaims, grabbing the bourbon from the blanket and holding it up. “I thought you were gonna party.”
“We are,” Kimi says, sauntering up behind him, “but we wanted to wait for you boys.” She grabs the bottle and takes a swig, careful to avoid the herky-jerky spasms she made when drinking at my house. There is a bit of a grimace, but overall, I’d say she definitely deserves Most Improved.
“Jimmy!” Kimi yells, holding the bottle out to the entangled couple in a dark corner. “Jimmy, you want a shot of bourbon?”
The quarterback phenom comes up for air and it looks like the shadows start to rearrange themselves. Then Sarah and Jimmy come stumbling toward us and I giggle when I see that there is straw in Sarah’s hair and Jimmy’s shirt is on backwards.
He takes the bottle from Kimi and tosses back a drink, then passes it to Sarah. She takes a couple of pulls like a champ and passes it to Kimi, who tries to match her. Next thing I see, Paul’s taking a few more gulps and Luke is looking at him with obvious disgust.
“Wolfenbaker, you drinking tonight?” Paul drawls. He holds the bottle down toward Wolf and I see that it’s half empty already. I look back up at Kimi, who seems a little unsteady, and then over at Sarah, whose face is bright red, although I don’t know if it’s from the booze or the face-sucking.
Wolf grabs the bottle and gives me a special side grin. “Sure I’m drinking,” he says, leaning against my arm. “I’ve got something to celebrate.”
He winks at me and I shiver. He takes a drink, then shudders like a dog shaking off water. I squeeze my knees up to my chest and giggle. I love when his perfect-guy facade cracks even a tad.
“To nosotros,” he says, and I smile at him. His face is close to mine as he offers me the bourbon, his own lips still wet. I have an urge to just take a sip, to consecrate our first date, but then I feel Luke tense up next to me. I glance over at him and see the tightness in his body, and when I look back at Wolf, it takes everything I have to decline, to pull back from the intensity in his eyes.
“Nah,” I finally say, looking down at the blanket. “I’m good.”
Luke on one side, Wolf on the other. Angel on one side, devil on the other.
“Ericka, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Wolf persists, holding the bottle under my nose. I can smell the sweetness, and I feel electricity shooting through my veins as his shoulder leans into mine. “Aren’t you Catholic? Y’all’s preacher says it’s okay to drink, right?”
“I don’t think it’s a preacher; it’s a priest,” Mackenzie corrects him.
“Then your priest drinks,” Wolf says.
“No, they call him Father,” Laura says. “I’m pretty sure it’s Father.”
“Ugh, then your Father drinks, whatever!” Wolf says, exasperated.
“Well, hers doesn’t, but ours sure does!” Paul hoots. He steps away from Kimi and staggers over to Luke, slapping him hard on the shoulder, cackling at his own bad joke.
Luke roughly brushes his brother off and stands up. “You know better,” he mutters to Paul, giving him a hard shove into the shadows.
“Okay, seriously,” Wolf says, turning back to me, his arm warm around my shoulders. “Toast us going to homecoming.”
He is holding the bottle up to me again when the reality of his words seeps into Sarah’s booze-soaked brain and she loses it.
“Ericka! OH! MY! GOD! I’m so happy for you!” she screams, running in place with high knees and blade arms. I can’t help but laugh watching her. It feels so nice to see someone outwardly expressing exactly how I feel inside.
“So…?” Wolf says, waving the bottle under my nose. I grin up at him.
“Drink! Drink!” Sarah starts chanting, doing a full lunge, complete with spirit fingers. Kimi joins in, as do their boy toys and Wolf. Pretty soon the barn is echoing, “Drink! Drink! Drink!”
I laugh hard and cave, reaching for the bourbon.
“Dude, she doesn’t have to drink if she doesn’t want to,” Luke blurts out, bending down and ripping the bottle from Wolf’s hands.
Everybody freezes, like time stops for a second. I am shocked by the anger in Luke’s voice. I look up and see him standing over me, hovering with his fists clenched like my bodyguard or something. His eyes flash, but mine do, too. I feel my cheeks burn red, embarrassed and angry and totally shocked to see this overprotective side of him. When I see Kimi and Sarah exchange glances and Wolf raise his eyebrows and lean away, I have to make a decision… and I still want to fit in. It’s only one drink, so what’s the big deal?
I stand up and sort of hip check him, trying to lighten the mood, even though the tension between us is thick. “Whoa, Buzz Kill McGee,” I joke. And even though I hate the stuff, I’m trying to not piss off the few people in the barn who are actually happy for me, so I grab the bottle from Luke, though not easily, and take a big chug.
I hear the hooting and laughing, but as soon as the liquid fire hits my tongue I swallow hard and close my eyes. I try to keep my cool but it burns and I do a crazy dance in place, like an exorcism, shaking demons out of my body.
Wolf totally cracks up as I hang my tongue out in a pitiful Bandit impression and pant, longing for the Coca-Cola we left behind. As soon as I catch my breath and wipe the tears from my eyes, Kimi and Sarah each drape an arm around me.
“You’ve been initiated,” Kimi booms. “Ericka Winstead is officially one cool girl!”
She squeezes my shoulder with one arm and pumps the other one in the air.
“Yeah!” I holler, amped by all the love. I am officially one cool girl!
I see Luke step back and shake his shaggy blond head, looking up at the rafters and mumbling something low to himself. He sighs, crosses his hands behind his head, and finally looks down at me with blank eyes and a half smile on his lips before joining Mackenzie and Laura on the blanket, all three of them looking defeated to some degree.
Wolf leans back on his palms and gives me one of his up-and-down looks, the kind he usually reserves for upperclassmen or girls like Kimi. “You’re something else, Winstead. That’s for sure.”
I melt and take it as a compliment.
“The game is called Never Have I Ever,” Kimi explains. Now that make-out central has come up for air, we’re all circled around on the blanket. “One person says something they’ve never done, and if you have done it, you have to drink.”
Sounds pretty easy, seeing as how my life is completely G-rated.
“Never have I ever seen a boy naked,” Kimi starts devilishly.
But then again, my lack of life experience might be more embarrassing than owning up to some of these things. Sarah immediately reaches for the bottle and Kimi smirks. Laura and Mackenzie’s eyes bug and Wolf nods his head appreciatively.
“That’a girl,” Jimmy encourages as Sarah takes a sip. She blushes and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek.
When she puts the bottle down, Wolf reaches for it and holds it out to me. “Ericka?”
My cheeks flush red hot (it goes without saying that I have never seen a boy naked), but for a millisecond, I consider lying. A white lie and another tiny sip might be a small price to pay to impress Wolf; but I can’t do it, and I shake my head, completely embarrassed. He grins and does the unexpected, taking a swig himself. Everyone dies, hooting and hollering.
“What? Duh. Locker rooms,” he says by way of explanation.
But then the challenges get harder. “Never have I ever cheerleaded” and the girls drink. “Never have I ever worn a bra” and the girls drink. “Never have I ever streaked” and, to my extreme humiliation, the girls drink as Kimi excitedly fills the guys in on our nudist shenanigans. My mouth feels dry, and weird, like it’s harder to move my lips. This makes me giggle.
“Never have I ever puked at a slumber party,” Mackenzie says, her sugary sweet smile exaggerated and aimed right at me. I do a double take and stare into her icy blue eyes. I see them flash—she is clearly enjoying this moment. She holds the bottle out toward me.
Mortified, I take the bottle from her. “Mushroom allergy,” I defend myself weakly.
I grab the bottle and just the smell makes me shudder. Ick. I take a deep breath and down yet another drink, but realize that it’s not burning as much as before. Maybe my esophagus is drunk.
“Never have I ever milked a cow!” Laura says sweetly, giggling as if it’s the funniest thing she’s ever said, yet looking directly at me.
“Cow teats!” Mackenzie laughs, giving her a high five.
I take another tiny drink and feel sort of numb.
“I think your friends are trying to get you drunk,” Wolf says, leaning in close.
“Huh, some friends,” Luke says and semi-laughs, trying to sound light, but once again filling the barn with tension. Laura looks shocked.
I shiver and snuggle closer to Wolf, which actually is really brave. Wow. I’m very brave right now. His cologne, oh my god. I close my eyes and breathe in his magic spell, feel like I could fall asleep on his shoulder. Like I could fall asleep right here in the—
“Never have I ever kissed a girl!” Kimi squeals.
A collective “Whoa!” goes out into the night air and the boys (except Luke) all drink. I watch them each take big gulps and feel relieved when I see that the bottle is almost empty.
“Thank goodness we get a break,” I slur, and then giggle. I consider trying that sentence again, but shrug it off as too exhausting.
“Aw, I was hoping one of you girls would take a drink,” Wolf says fiendishly.
“Good thing Candace Baker isn’t here, then,” Kimi quips, and everybody laughs.
Next to me, Luke’s eyes go dark. He’s a laid-back guy, but now he looks like he’s been pushed too far and he gives me a strong nudge.
“What?” I ask, my face scrunched up. I didn’t need an elbow to the side.
He gives me a hard look and mumbles, “You know what.”
As the others laugh around us, I open my eyes wide, innocent. What’s he mad at me for? I didn’t say it. I didn’t even laugh. His face changes then, closes up, and he looks away. I shake my head and he splits in two for a second; then I refocus and see that his face is still tight.
“Ericka’s best friends with her,” Wolf says on my other side. I can feel his breath on my cheek. “Has she ever made a move, Ericka? Did you ever have a slumber party with Candace that got a little Girls Gone Wild?”
I feel the shock register on my face, and the circle laughs heartily.
“Never!” I scream.
“Come on, Ericka,” he persists, his fingers making their way to my sides. I’m dying. “Tell the truth.”
“Wolf!” I giggle, amazed at how close his face is to mine. He starts to squeeze, and I am super ticklish. “Wolf! Stop it!”
I wiggle and try to get away, but can’t.
“Tell me,” he says softly, yet with lots of pressure at my waist keeping me at his side. “Tell the truth about your little lesbo friend.”
Tears are streaming down my cheeks, I’m laughing so hard. No matter how much I squirm, I can’t escape his tickling. I’ll tell him whatever he wants to hear just to get out of this grip.
“Okay, okay!” I scream. “She tried to kiss me!”
“Oh!” The barn erupts. The boys lose it, high-fiving and fist pumping. The girls are laughing, too. I even catch Mackenzie throwing a smirk over at Laura, and then I think maybe I can sort of make the peace if I just get everybody laughing.
“Yeah!” I continue, my mouth dry. I feel like I have to yell. “And she really has a thing for cheerleaders!” I point to Mackenzie and her eyes widen. Her cheeks flush pink and she squeals.
“Lipstick lesbians—I like it!” Wolf says, leaning over to Mackenzie and putting his arm around her. She seems happy with the attention, so whatever. Let her have it for a while. I still get him for homecoming.
Jimmy and Wolf get into a conversation about the hottest moms at our school and which two they would like to see making out. The barn beams blur a little and then, to my surprise, start to spin. I feel weak from laughing so hard and collapse onto Luke’s shoulder. Sarah yells something about never making out in her parents’ bed and the game moves on rambunctiously. I close my eyes and sigh, happy for the brief break and suddenly feeling a little… nauseous? No, tired. It’s late. I’m just tired. I think about the electric touch of Wolf’s fingers on my sides and smile.
“You lied,” I hear a low voice rumble above me. I lean my head back and see Luke looking down at me. His eyes are angry, but I can’t help thinking that they’re really pretty, too. The blue is like gray. And I like the yellow flecks by his pupils.
“Ricki Jo!” he hisses.
“What?” I say, trying to focus. I can hear the group laughing around us.
“Candace is not a lesbian,” he repeats, just as low.
“Yeah, but no big deal if she is,” I say, my eyes closing again as I nuzzle my head against his soft fleece jacket.
He shakes my arm. “But she’s not.”
“I know that,” I say softly, confused.
“You should have said that,” he says, shaking me off.
I sway and try to focus on his face. “I… what? I—”
“You shouldn’t have made that up. You should have stuck up for your friend,” he says again.
“She’s—well, we’re not that close, anyway,” I mumble, hearing how lame it sounds.
“Then you should have stuck up for her because it’s the right thing to do, Ricki Jo.”
“Ericka,” I correct weakly, not knowing what else to say.
I watch his expression settle into one of new understanding, almost like he’s just woken up.
“Oh, that’s right,” he says. “That’s exactly right. You’re a different person now.”
He checks his watch and stands up. From where I sit, he looks like a skyscraper. I want to talk to him some more, understand why he’s in such a bad mood, but he says his good-byes and stalks out of the barn.