ERIN SAVORED the exquisite pleasure of Connor’s mouth on hers. The sensual slide of his hands on her back. The way he cradled her head with one hand to angle in for a deeper kiss that sent shivers skipping down her spine, and made her feel empty and wanting in her most intimate place.
But he didn’t rush to the next step as if he had a plane to catch. In wonderment, she felt him hold back, explore, his eyes hot and dark and possessive as he groaned with pleasure at her own rising response. And he talked to her…whispering hot, sexy words in her ear, making her feel as if she were the most desirable woman he’d ever known, until she was nearly engulfed in white-hot desire, wanting more, needing more.
When he finally drove into her, everything inside her turned to a fire that consumed her, body and soul. “Connor,” she breathed.
Exquisite pleasure swept her away.
GRIEF DIDN’T DISSIPATE like morning fog in the heat of a summer sun. It wore away slowly, like granite dissolving over the eons beneath a trickling stream, so gradually, so imperceptibly that it seemed as if nothing would ever change.
The cruel finality of death offered no second chances. No opportunities to make a different choice, to try a little harder. It had offered no chance to ever escape the fact that Stephanie had driven herself over a cliff and taken their child to his death.
Connor propped his head in his palm to look at the woman nestled against his chest.
For almost two years, he’d carried that grief in silence, as atonement for what happened. He’d accepted that it was his fault, and that he would never escape the enormity of that fatal crash. Nothing could ever change, because nothing could ever bring Stephanie back.
But now…the crushing weight of that grief lifted.
Connor stroked Erin’s silky hair. She’d brought happiness into his life. She’d brought Lily. And what he felt for her he’d never expected to experience again.
She opened her eyes and stretched languorously, her soft mouth curving into a sleepy smile.
And then her eyes opened wide with horror and she shot straight up in bed. “Oh, my God—what time is it?”
“A quarter of midnight.” He reached up and rested a hand against her cheek, then slid it behind her neck and drew her down into a deep and soul-satisfying kiss. “Which means that we need to get you home.”
A pink blush darkened her cheeks as she felt around on the bed, then stared at the trail of clothes across the room.
She pulled the top sheet tight against her chest. “I…don’t believe I did this,” she murmured, grabbing for more of the sheet. “I mean, I don’t usually—”
“I know.”
“I never…” Her eyes widened with renewed horror. “Did you—I mean—did you have—”
He nodded toward the torn packets on the bedside table. “Yes, I did.”
She rolled her eyes heavenward and mumbled what sounded like a prayer of thanks as she jerked the sheet from its moorings at the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her, then retrieved her clothes from the floor en route to the bathroom.
So much for savoring the moment, he thought dryly, as he rose and found his own clothes. Erin burst out of the bathroom as he was stepping into his shoes. “I’m all set,” she said, averting her eyes as she headed to the door.
He caught her elbow and brought her back to him, caressing her upper arms as he searched her face. “I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you wanted to do…if I took things too far.”
“I think it was me who did that. Believe me—” Her blush deepened. “This is the first time since my husband left. I don’t even know how to act afterward anymore….”
Connor chuckled and drew her into an embrace, savoring the lemony scent of her hair and the sweet warmth of her against his chest. “I want you to know that there’s been no one else for me, either. That this meant a lot to me. And…” he brushed a kiss against her temple “…I never would have made love to you if I didn’t care for you very much. Okay?”
She nodded. “I feel almost like a high school senior who’s been making out on the front porch, and is afraid her dad will find out. The kids are going to ask about the movie tomorrow. Maybe they’re even still awake, and now I’m going to be late. What kind of example am I setting?” She glanced around the room and caught her reflection in a mirror over the dresser. “And I look like I’ve been in a wrestling match!”
He laughed and hugged her tighter, then released her and took her hand. “Then let’s go, Cinderella—and get you home by midnight.”
“Follow me in your truck, and I’ll treat you to the best hot cocoa anywhere.”
They raced down the stairs and outside, laughing as she lost a shoe and had to stop to retrieve it, and in ten minutes both of them pulled to a halt in front of Erin’s cabin. The lights were on. Four faces peered through the windows as they stepped out of their vehicles.
“I knew it,” she whispered. “Tell me what that movie was. Quick! No—I’ll just say we decided to have a quiet evening instead.”
But the moment they came up the porch steps into the light, the door flew open. Haley and the kids tumbled out, all talking at once.
“I tried to call you,” Haley said. “I tried and tried.”
“Scout’s gone,” Lily wailed. “We put him out for just a minute, and he was gone!”
“We heard barking and yowling,” Drew added. He scrubbed furiously at the moisture in his eyes. “But we couldn’t see any sign of him, anywhere!”
Behind them, Tyler sniffled and backhanded his own tears away.
“I’m so s-sorry.” Haley’s mouth trembled. “He pulled away as I was trying to snap the chain on his collar. I wouldn’t let the kids run out into the dark after him, and they’ve been so upset with me!”
“You did the right thing.” Erin opened her arms and welcomed the children into an embrace. “He might turn up tomorrow, safe as can be.” But the look she gave Connor over the tops of their heads was anything but hopeful. I saw the wolf tonight, she mouthed. Here.
“There’s some messages for you in the kitchen, too,” Haley said. “Some guy called, and he sure wasn’t very friendly. And the hospital phoned twice.”
Erin’s eyes widened in dismay. “Let’s go on inside, everyone. Everything will work out.” She shepherded them through the door, then turned back to Connor and lowered her voice. “I can’t believe that I was so careless. I left my purse in your living room, and my phone’s in it. Haley probably called while we were…upstairs.”
“I’ll get it and bring it over.” He dropped a swift kiss on her mouth. “And I’ll bring a flashlight so I can look for Scout, just in case. If anything happened, it’d be better if the kids didn’t find him.”
CONNOR RETURNED THAT NIGHT with Maisie to search the meadow and surrounding woods for over an hour, then came back at dawn on Saturday and continued looking for any sign of Scout.
He stayed close by throughout the weekend, enticing the boys into fishing. Playing catch with Lily. He took everyone to a children’s matinee. He did everything he could to cheer the kids up, and for that gift Erin was more than thankful. She’d realized that, despite every intention to the contrary, she was falling in love with him.
But Scout didn’t turn up, even though they searched through the underbrush surrounding the meadow, and by Monday morning all three kids were completely disheartened as they got ready for school.
“If Scout was hurt, he probably died by now,” Drew said glumly as Erin pulled to a stop in front of the school. “We’ll never see him again.”
“Or maybe he ran away,” Tyler added, his head bowed over the backpack he held in his lap.
Lily sniffled into a tissue. “I bet he’s scared if he ran away. And hungry.”
“The hardest part now is just not knowing for sure,” Erin said. She reached across the seat and pulled Lily into a hug, then turned to give the boys an encouraging smile. “I think we should imagine that he got lost, and is safe somewhere. Maybe someone else found him, like you did. And right now, he’s eating his dog food and has a warm bed by a fireplace.”
“Like that could have happened,” Drew snapped. “We heard him yelping, and something else growling. Maybe the wolves got him. Some kids at school say that their parents hate the wolves and wish they were gone. They’re talking about putting out poison or shooting them.”
“The wolves are protected, Drew.”
“Yeah? Well, no one would know. And if I found the one that killed Scout, I’d want to shoot it myself!” He jerked the handle of the door and climbed out, then slammed it shut.
Lily looked up at Erin with sad, wide eyes. “Do you think that’s what happened?”
“I don’t know. But I’d like to think that Scout got away, and found someone to pick him up and take care of him. I’ll call the newspaper this morning and put in an ad about him. Maybe we’ll get a call.”
She stepped out of the minivan to help Lily and Tyler with their backpacks, then gave them each a hug. She watched them trudge up the sidewalk and into the school, her heart heavy.
In her office twenty minutes later, she worked on her latest revision of the budget, and then began calling the people heading up the canvassing process for signatures that could put the local tax levy on the November ballot.
They were within a few hundred signatures of succeeding, she discovered with a sigh of satisfaction. If the doctors could come to an agreement tonight regarding which projects to tackle first, the meeting could go very well indeed.
Success meant job security for the employees and far better care for the patients, and was worth every ounce of effort it took. But the success that meant most of all involved the happiness of her children, and she couldn’t get their sad faces out of her mind.
“BOARD MEETINGS ARE NEVER this large,” Jill whispered to Erin. “You’ve got the whole community interested.”
“Hopefully, in a positive way.” Erin glanced over her shoulder at the full chairs and crowd of people standing at the back. “This one is mostly just to share information with the public, and I think there’s even a better turnout than last time.”
Arnold Olson, who still had a stethoscope slung around his neck, appeared to be involved in a heated discussion with Leland Anderson at the board members’ table up in front. And at the opposite side of the podium, two other officials frowned as a third spoke to them in a voice too low to hear from the audience.
President Paul Benson called the meeting to order.
Erin searched the crowd for Connor. He hadn’t attended the meeting earlier in the month, citing his desire to avoid hospital politics, but since then he’d certainly seemed more interested. He’d asked questions and had offered suggestions during some of their late-night conversations…so where was he?
Leo Crupper was here, though. Sitting right behind her with his all-too-familiar supercilious smile, and his fingernails tap-tap-tapping on a manila folder in his lap.
The president of the auxiliary gave her report of the signature drive—now less than a hundred names shy of the number needed to place the tax levy on the ballot, but with just four days left before the deadline.
“You’re on,” Jill whispered as the woman took her seat. “You go get ’em.”
Erin took her place at the podium. “I’m happy to announce that our USDA grant for a new X-ray diagnostic system has been approved as of this morning. We also have three other grants, available through the state of Wisconsin and a pharmaceutical company, that are looking very promising.” A smattering of applause rippled through the audience. “At our last meeting, I promised a final report by the end of the month regarding an assessment of our needs, and the total costs involved. The report covers this, plus recommendations for specialty clinics. We’d like to utilize physicians who’d come several times a month from the larger hospitals in nearby counties, and in particular we see a need to develop a dialysis unit as soon as possible. If you would open the packets that were on your chairs when you came in…”
The crowd rustled through the papers, and from the back of the room she heard a rumble of conversation that didn’t bode well.
After she’d carefully outlined each point in her report, Paul addressed the board for their comments. Leland picked up the mike and announced that he fully supported the remodeling of the lounge, to “create a more enticing setting for the doctors coming in for rotations through the specialty clinics.”
Jill groaned and leaned close to Erin’s ear. “He just wants a nicer place where he can go to escape his wife,” she whispered.
Arnold took the mike and announced that Leland’s idea was a huge waste of money better spent on redecorating patient rooms or remodeling the 1940s E.R. entrance and waiting area.
“I thought we were on the same page,” Erin whispered. “We had a consensus!”
“It’s all about power. Those two have been contentious ever since I came to this town.”
“They were fine at Ollie’s!”
“Ah, but here we have a big audience.”
The other board members spoke about fiscal responsibility and, conversely, the need to invest in the town’s future, rambling on for a good half hour but getting nowhere, in Erin’s opinion.
By the time Paul ended the meeting, her frustration had increased tenfold. “We’ve got funding for some of the changes already. We’ve received board approval for projects that will start if the tax levy goes through. But with all this dissension, it’s going to be hard to make things happen…and I wonder just how much support we’ll get afterward. You’d think that the community would be behind this a hundred percent.”
Jill reached over and gave her hand a quick squeeze. “I guarantee that when this is all over, the people here will be very proud of their hospital, and will be even more proud of you for making it happen.”
Erin followed her toward the back door, where a knot of people were speaking in low, vehement tones.
“I saw one of ’em near town. I’d like to know what the hell we’re supposed to do to keep our kids and livestock safe.”
“Yeah, and by the time the DNR arrives, it’s always long gone.”
“I say, someone should go out and shoot ’em on sight.”
Leo Crupper nodded in agreement. He raised his voice above the others as Erin walked past. “I saw your note up in the grocery store this afternoon about your lost dog. Bet a wolf got him, too,” he said with obvious relish. “But I suppose you’re one of those who just think the wolves are pretty.”
“Without proof, I don’t think anyone can assume the wolves are at fault, Mr. Crupper.” Erin nodded politely to the group as a whole and continued on out the door.
His words to his cronies followed her into the hallway as she made her way through the crowd and headed for her office. “What did I tell you, boys? She’s a city gal—not someone who knows and cares about the area. The last thing we need is someone like her starting a big spending spree that will sink our town in debt.”
STILL FUMING, Erin stopped by her office to drop off her files and grab her purse. She was halfway to the door when the phone rang. Glancing at the clock, she sighed and turned back to the desk. “Mrs. Lang. Can I help you?”
“You need to know who you’re dealing with there,” a voice growled in her ear. “Have you no idea?”
Startled, she sat forward in her chair and grabbed a notebook, wishing the hospital phone system included caller ID. The voice sounded suspiciously like one that had left a cryptic message on her machine at home, but that number had shown up as a pay phone. “I—I’m not sure you have the right number,” she said evenly. “This is the hospital.”
“And you’re the administrator. One who sure didn’t do her homework.” The caller gave a derisive snort. “You’ve got a doctor with hospital privileges who should have lost his license over a year ago. One who repeatedly made med errors. Failed to chart properly. Didn’t follow through.”
She gripped her pen tighter. “I’m sorry—I didn’t catch your name.”
“Do you really want a physician like that making decisions regarding patients in your hospital? He was investigated by our hospital review board three times…after patients suffered serious setbacks or died unexpectedly while under his care. Look out, Mrs. Lang. Malpractice suits can be a very ugly thing.”
She scrawled notes across the paper in front of her. “You haven’t identified yourself. How can I possibly take this seriously, Mr.—”
“All you need to know is the name of the man himself. And if I were you, I’d find a way to get him out of there. Fast.”
“Who are you?”
He ignored her question. “I was concerned enough to look up your name on your hospital’s Web site, so I could contact you directly. The longer Connor Reynolds has hospital privileges, the greater risk you take.”
She took a sharp breath. Connor?
“Carelessness kills—and we found that out in Green Bay. Let it be on your conscience if you allow it to happen. Sleep well, Mrs. Lang.”
“Wait—”
But the soft click at the other end of the line told her that she was too late.
It was impossible. The caller had to be crazy—and he’d not only tracked her down at the hospital and knew her name, but had presumably found her unlisted home number, as well. That in itself was frightening.
Surely he had to be lying. But what if…oh, God. What if it was the truth? She had no choice but to make sure. For the safety of the patients. For the future reputation of this hospital.
She braced both palms on her desk with her head down, trying to calm her shaking nerves and the wave of dizziness.
Then with trembling fingers she tapped in the password on her PDA, found the cell phone number of Patty Long, an old friend from nursing school who lived in Green Bay, and dialed the number.
After five rings, the voice mail feature kicked in. “Patty—this is Erin Lang. I need some information about a doctor who had privileges at Green Bay General, and wonder if you might have heard anything about him. Call or e-mail me, stat.”
And then she hung up, and prayed that the anonymous caller was wrong.