The next morning, Gerri and her dad are out of the house as usual and headed for their respective schools. Gerri is thinking a lot about her mom and she sits passively in her first class.
On the way to her second class Gerri sees Mike Decker and when Mike knows he’s caught her eye, he’s all smiles. Gerri needs to give him a response today. Avoiding the problem doesn’t seem to be working and yet she still hasn’t figured out how to tell Mike she can’t go and still protect herself in case a better offer comes along.
Mike comes straight up to her in the hall, walking with an air of confidence. He must be pretty sure of himself after the awkward way he handled himself yesterday. He quickly reaches toward her and gives her nose a gentle squeeze. When Gerri’s hand instinctively goes up in defense Mike playfully pokes her in the ribs. He’s lost any shyness since yesterday. Maybe he thinks Gerri’s “his girl” now but he’ll have to get past that real quick.
“Hi Gerri. How ya doin today?”
“Oh I’m fine Mike. But I have to get to class right now. Talk to you later. Okay?”
Before Gerri even waits for an answer she sees Mr. Penn about twenty feet away and he makes eye contact with her. Gerri freezes for a second and melts into a smile for Mr. Penn. Mike looks at Gerri and then follows where she’s looking and realizes she’s looking and smiling at the handsome teacher. Mike turns back to Gerri.
“Geez, Louise, Gerri! What’s that? You flirtin with the Penn-man? I mean, c’mon, Gerri. He’s a teacher. He’s a geezer. He’s old enough to be your grand dad.”
Gerri is embarrassed by Mike’s comment but seizes her red-face moment to ingeniously turn it into trumped-up, dramatic anger toward Mike.
“How dare you say something like that, Mike Decker. That’s the way nasty rumors start and I don’t like it one bit. Besides, you’re acting jealous when you have absolutely no right or reason to act jealous. You don’t own me. I’m not your girl. In fact I’m going on to my class now and that will give you some extra time. Why don’t you take that extra time to find yourself a date for the sock hop…cause it’s not going to be me. And close your mouth or you’ll catch flies.”
A few students passing in the hall catch the tail end of her tirade and laugh at Mike as he stands like a whipped puppy.
Mike has the open-mouth, gawky look he had the other morning. She’s caught him with his proverbial pants around his ankles and he does not have any idea how to respond. So he silently stands, Gerri’s sharp words pouring over him and dripping into his own pool of embarrassment.
Gerri wheels around, swings her hair and dramatically walks toward her class leaving Mike frozen in the hall. Gerri doesn’t look back at him but pictures him standing, mouth open watching her sachet away as other students walk around him as if he’s a permanently attached pole in the hallway. Her deliberate march down the hall takes her to the safety of her next class, heart pounding as she enters the room.
She’s done it! It couldn’t have worked out better. Besides she even got a smile and look from Mr. Penn in the process. Gerri is relieved and now she can spend this class thinking about Mr. Penn and studying the boys to see who might step up to be a possible date for the sock hop and Betsy’s party.
Gerri thinks it’s best if she avoids Mike and his close friends for a while and even though she’ll likely see some of them at lunch, she must keep her distance. Maybe Mike’s friends and the school gossip mill will be best to speculate and prosecute Mike for his assuming, forward actions. In Gerri’s mind that would certainly be proper high school justice.
Maybe there’s the possibility of a much happier life if she could go to more parties and spend less time stuck at home. In fact, a minimum amount of home life would be tolerable if she could be doing things constantly with friends because then it would be fine if her parents leave her alone. Maybe she’s had this lack of attention by her parents all wrong. Maybe a lack of attention may not be so bad. She just has to increase her away-from-home social life so home life is basically sleeping, eating and a place to hang her clothes. Besides she needs to forget all the mess with her dad and get her mind off feeling sorry about her mom. Maybe the answer is to begin a truce with her dad and apply her energy to get out of the house more often. As she indulges in these feelings Gerri thinks she should begin her truce by taking an olive branch to her dad. She knows he’s made lots of mistakes and is in the dog house with her mom but maybe he could do with a little kindness, phony or not.
After her third hour class Gerri detours to the principal’s office and asks for a pass to go home for lunch. The attendance secretary knows Gerri because of Stephen teaching in the district. Besides if she goes home at lunch it removes the chance of seeing Mike and his friends in the cafeteria.
Miss Grace Stinson is a perfect image for a principal’s office. She is a very nice looking, thirtyish, very trim young lady. She dresses impeccably in skirt and jacket business suit combinations and her auburn hair is likely very long but no one can tell because it’s always tightly wound to the back in a French Roll. She wears cat-eye black glasses and is the consummate smiling and busy-looking professional.
Miss Stinson toys with Gerri, “So you think I can trust you to go home and get back after lunch before class time?”
“Yes Ma’am. It’s because my mother had to go to the hospital yesterday and they kept her. So it’s just my dad and me and I thought I’d get something to eat and sort of pick up the house a little. I hope my mom gets home today and if she does she sure won’t be happy with my dad if she sees how the house looks after she’s only been away one night. But if I go home, I can pick things up and still get back to school in time, Miss Stinson.”
“Well, bless your heart, Gerri. You must be the perfect daughter. I hope your Susie gets to feeling better real soon. Here’s your pass, Sweetie. Be careful walking. Bye, now.”
“Thanks. I’m always careful and my house is pretty close. Bye, Miss Stinson.” Gerri smiles to think how Miss Stinson still clings onto her as the perfect daughter and stellar student in spite of what seems like a determined effort on Gerri’s part to erode those images.
Gerri walks quickly to save as much time as she can and soon she’s turning the corner onto Vassar Avenue. She looks up toward her house and is surprised to see her dad’s car in the driveway. Gerri can’t imagine why he’d be home at this point during the day. Maybe he had the same idea to clean up the house, or maybe he knows Gerri’s mom will be home this afternoon or maybe she’s home now. He’s probably worn out by the stress and Gerri always giving him a difficult time lately. He deserves every bit of it but this is time for the pretend-truce. Gerri has a picture in her mind of opening the door find he’s napping on the sofa. If that’s the case maybe she can pick up the house a bit and fix the two of them some lunch just to show him the olive branch.
Gerri finds the front door unlocked and she opens it avoiding any noise. Her dad is not on the sofa so he's probably lying down on his bed because the house is dark and quiet.
She tiptoes quietly down the dark hallway past her room and as she reaches her parents’ bedroom door there’s a sound she is not expecting. It certainly isn't snoring. It’s quiet talk and a little laughing. At first Gerri feels a sudden surge of happiness because this must mean her mom’s back home again. She runs the last couple steps toward the master bedroom so she can see her mom but suddenly pulls her hand away from the door knob like pulling back from a hot stove.
It’s not her mom’s voice or laugh on the other side of that bedroom door. Her heart races and her stomach suddenly feels sick. She freezes. Whoever’s in the bedroom heard her last few thunderous steps and so the talking on the other side of the door stops. Complete silence. Gerri isn’t sure how to react but she spins around and runs stumbling over a small stack of magazines and scattering them all over the hallway. She gets to her room as if it’s a bastion of safety, slams the door, turns the key in the lock and puts her head to the door listening.
Gerri listens and hears the master bedroom door quickly open and quietly shut again. She hears light footsteps quickly going through the hall, into the bathroom and the bathroom door shuts. Gerri is shocked beyond belief and walks backward and clumsily sits on the edge of her bed, not breathing, not making a sound, her mind swirling in confusion and shock. The only thing she knows for sure is that this is very, very wrong.
A white-hot rage overtakes her shock and sick feeling. Her mind is racing trying to figure out who could be in that room with her dad. Gerri says in a soft whisper, “ It’s not horrible enough that my dad’s dragged some woman home. It’s my mom’s room. My mom’s bed. Mom is right!”
Tears well up in her eyes as she pictures her mom innocently in the hospital. Her mom suspected something but she’d have no idea Stephen would be so callous as to bring someone into their home the very next day after she’s entered the hospital. Gerri can’t imagine what kind of woman comes to another woman's home or what kind of husband would bring another woman to her mother's bed...when her poor mother is due to have or maybe at this moment is having a baby? Their baby. The DeMores’ family baby. What kind of family can be happy after that?
Shocking, unanswerable questions flood Gerri’s mind and make it impossible to think clearly. She wonders how her mom will react when she finds this out. What if they get divorced? Will her mother still live in this house? Or will her mom move? Will Gerri go with her? She knows for sure she wouldn’t stay with just her dad, the scoundrel. The cheater.
Knock, knock, knock. A light tapping on her door.
“Gerri? Gerri? Honey, is that you?”
“Who else would it be? And who's here in the house with you? Who's here with you?” Gerri sits on her bed screaming at him through the locked door.
Her dad jiggles the door knob and finds it locked. “Just calm down, Gerri. I'll explain it to you if you’ll just open the door. Everything's fine. But what are you doing home from school? Are you okay? Gerri, can I come in?”
“No! I'm not fine. I'm not fine at school and I'm not fine at home. Who is that in my mom’s bedroom? Just get away from my door and leave me alone! Get away!”
“Gerri, calm down and open your door. It's not what you think and I can explain. But you've got to open the door. I simply have a teacher-friend helping me get some clothes together for your mom. That’s all. Nothing more. So, please open the door.”
Gerri is close to hysteria, “Get away! I don't want to talk to you! I don’t even want to look at you! Get away from my door and then I'll leave so you and whoever is there can do what you want. How could you do this to my mom? To us? The hallway stinks! Cheap perfume! Looking for your pen every night in the car, huh? Or maybe cleaning up to be sure no lipstick or earrings or anything else is left behind? I really don't want to see you or talk to you ever again. So get away from my door.”
Her dad says nothing and soon she hears him return to his bedroom and the door closes gently. All without another word.
Gerri knows the woman, whoever it is, remains in the bathroom but she’s suddenly feeling a sense of urgency after all the shock and drama. She listens at her door again and she’ll just have to stay in her room until the bathroom is clear. Some whore invader using her own bathroom! Gerri fumes in yet another level of outrage caused by her dad and the interloper.
The bathroom door quietly opens and a few seconds later she hears her mom’s bedroom door open and shut as if trying to do it secretly. Gerri quietly turns the key in her locked door and silently opens the door looking into the empty hall. She jerks open her door and flies across the hall into the bathroom, carefully locking the bathroom door, and suddenly confronted by the smell of strange perfume filling the air, repulsive smelling. Maybe that’s the perfume her mom smelled before. No wonder she’d know it was not anything from their house.
Gerri finishes in the bathroom and again quietly unlocks the door, peeks out into the hallway to be sure her dad’s not waiting there. When she sees the coast is clear she flings the bathroom door open. The door careens off the wall protector and rebounds shut with a shudder and a slam. She marches with the voracity of a stormtrooper out the front door stressing the hinges as she flings the door open and bursts onto the porch. She leaves the front door standing wide-open as she goes down the steps and onto the sidewalk.
*****
Gerri’s head is spinning as she walks back to school. With her mom gone their home didn’t seem all that happy last night and this morning. With the shock of her dad’s infidelity right under her mom’s nose and Gerri’s nose, suddenly the feeling of being abandoned and all alone is reinforced. Today her entire world is upside down and her thoughts are scattered to every corner of ridiculous possibilities and “what-ifs”. As she nears the school she hears the bell for the next hour and though she’s late, she really does not care. Gerri has much bigger concerns than school.
Gerri’s mind is still completely rattled even after the fourth hour class is over. She heads to fifth hour. What a day!
“Hey, Gerri! Gerri! Wait up for a second.”
Gerri looks back over her shoulder and sees Betsy Alder rushing to catch up. Gerri doesn’t want to talk and she isn’t feeling like a party mood at the moment but Betsy obviously has something to say. Yesterday this would have been so cool and exciting. Gerri’s known Betsy since second grade and they’ve always been on friendly terms but Betsy hangs out with a clique of friends and Gerri up to this point has been on the outside. But now it looks as if Betsy really wants to talk.
“Oh, hi, Betsy. You looking for me?”
“Yeah, Gerri. I want to talk to you about the party.
Gerri’s heart is pounding. After all she is very, very excited about the invitation and now she’s standing here talking to Betsy like they’re best friends. Popularity at school gets momentum from other kids seeing who’s talking with whom and talking with Betsy is a noticeable event in this high school’s social circles. This is the very thing Mr. Penn meant about having the right group of friends. Somehow in a twisted sort of way just standing here in front of everyone talking with Betsy puts Gerri’s noontime shock on a back burner. Gerri loosens up a bit, “So, Betsy, I think you told me it’s a guys and gals party and your mom and dad are okay with that?”
“Yeah, Gerri. My dad’s total lack of interest guarantees parties at my house are fun. He doesn't care at all about anything just so nobody gets in a fight or causes a neighbor to complain. And my mom's fine with it. My mom’s a teacher with your dad and she usually doesn't come home until late so it means I’m the chaperone. Cool, huh? She says as long as the lights stay on its okay…and well…she won’t even be around until late and I don’t think she cares anyhow so yeah, parties at my house are cool.”
“How cool! That sounds great. Who all is coming?”
“Well, I shouldn’t be going on and on about the party and all. I’m having a little problem with something at the moment and that’s why I needed to talk to you. There will be lots of other parties…I mean if you can’t come to this one and I mean, I invited you to come, I guess… but if you can't, it's okay?
Gerri isn’t sure what Betsy’s trying to say but she’s nervously talking fast and it doesn’t seem to be heading in a favorable direction.
“Huh? C’mon, Betsy. You’re talking so fast I’m not sure I understand. If you don’t want me to come, just say it. I’m sure there will be others. Sounded like lots of fun and I’m…er was looking forward to it with all the guys and lots of girls but just tell me in plain English. Okay?”
“Well, it started off to be the same couples who are going to the sock hop but then you threw a bag over Mike’s head on that issue today so at lunch I was going to look for another boy to come for you… an even number of guys and gals. That’s probably not going to be possible since you told Mike to get lost. Oh, it‘s sort of silly but it’s the thing how you dropped Mike and won’t go to the sock hop with him. Well, Mike told all his jockstrap buddies and you know how they are. They sort of stick together and so then at lunch most of the other guys said they won’t come if you’re there with somebody else. And I’m guessing you’re not going to change your mind just so you can go to my party with Mike who you don’t want to be with. You know what I mean?”
Gerri was afraid there might be some backlash from turning down Mike but she never dreamed so much would blow up over the one little thing. Betsy wants to take back Gerri’s invitation and is just trying to find the right words to do it.
As Betsy and Gerri are talking a small group of girls are standing close by, close enough that their voices distract Betsy and her rambling explanation to Gerri. Betsy turns her head toward them and realizes it’s some of her friends so she smiles at them but looks annoyed.
“Well, actually Gerri, I guess that's all. I just wanted you to know about the party and I am sorry and all. It just doesn’t look like it’s possible. I just don’t see how at least at this point.”
“Geez. I’m sorry, too Betsy. I'll talk to ya later.” Gerri is so disappointed she feels sick.
“Okay, Gerri, see ya.”
As Gerri walks toward her room she’s feels like she just got kicked in the stomach and yet she’s still puzzled by the conversation. It seems like at the end Betsy said she didn’t think so at this point and that sounds like maybe Betsy is still working on it or wanted to say something more. Maybe she isn’t withdrawing the invitation a hundred percent just yet. There’s a couple of minutes before the bell rings so Gerri thinks party or not she’s now likely included in Betsy’s world so she’ll just hang out with this little group of Betsy’s friends until class and maybe get a little better impression of what’s happening.
The group of girls is still talking but Betsy heads for the restroom so Gerri is standing close to the group but physically a couple of feet from the little circle. Gerri leans in toward the group and clearly overhears Anne Tolbert who is oblivious that Gerri’s standing close behind her, “I know it’s got Betsy in a tailspin and it’s really not something she should have had to worry about. Who of our friends even hangs around with Gerri DeMore or probably even likes her if they did hang around together. Really. She looks like a scarecrow with big knockers and she acts stuck up and never says two nice words to anybody. But Betsy's mom said she had to invite her because of Gerri’s mom being sick and all that stuff. But it’s really Gerri’s dad... Betsy’s mom teaches with him and they’re like really close. Ya know, ooo laa laa kind of close. I think Gerri’s dad probably leaned on Betsy’s mom to invite her. Besides Mike told Eric that Gerri’s been flirting with Mr. Penn. Can you believe that? Huh? And you know the sympathy thing for her mom and all that...”
Suddenly one of the others glances over at Gerri standing right there listening to them, “Shhh. Anne. Annie, shush.”
Another leans to the girl talking, “Anne…stop…right behind you,” and she tosses her head to indicate Gerri’s right there as people say and sometimes do when it’s too late.
The group all turns toward Gerri and then turns back to their little circle. There’s a soft dramatic squeal, “Oh, God!” Then more giggling and the three girls huddle together laughing and they move as a group quickly away, with their backs to Gerri.
Gerri’s left standing there with insulting goop like Mike Decker got from her earlier today and it’s as if it’s just been poured over her head this time. No doubt at all they were talking about her. So Betsy was forced to invite her. Gerri feels like she’s going to be sick. Her face feels like it’s on fire and tears fill her eyes. As if it can’t get any worse, Betsy comes hurrying by on the side unaware of what’s just happened.
Through the blur of big tears Gerri looks directly at Betsy and no matter how she tries, she can’t smile. The pain of rejection and the white-hot rage of embarrassment are about to boil over as lips twist and quiver, “You won’t have to worry anymore, I won’t be at your party… I’m not some charity case and...I’m sure you can fix Mike Decker up with one of your slutty friends. You probably have a bunch of em. Maybe they’ll catch his zits. Who cares anyhow?”
Tears are about to explode and Gerri knows she can hardly hold it in any longer. Instead of turning toward the class Gerri goes quickly to the bathroom. As she nears the bathroom door, the bell rings but Gerri shoves open the door and goes into the bathroom anyhow. Everyone already in the bathroom is hurrying to exit since hearing the bell so no one seems to notice her. She enters the end stall, locks the door and sits heavily on the seat with her head in her hands. How can this be happening? Gerri feels like she can’t trust anyone anymore. The tears flow down her cheeks as she sits quietly in the locked stall. It seems to her that a bathroom stall can be almost like a private office…anyhow at school. Throughout her school years Gerri’s found if she needed to be by herself during a school day, a locked stall is the only place to physically escape. Particularly a stall next to the wall. That's where she always heads if need be. It seems safe and secure.
Gerri’s aware of the tardy bell ringing but she’s ignoring it and taking a couple more minutes. She’s thinking about how her world has been betrayed and become fearful just in one day. Today! No matter how strong or rebellious she feels or acts it doesn’t ever cover the internal pain of feeling like she’s abandoned by everyone.
Her fifth hour teacher, Mrs. Dugger always seems nice enough and she knows Gerri’s dad is a teacher so Gerri’s not worried about an excuse for Mrs. Dugger. Eventually she feels okay to go to class so she puts a little water on her hands and rubs it on her face. It feels good to her tearful eyes. Slowly she makes her way down the hall toward Mrs. Dugger’s room and figures maybe if she turns the knob slowly and opens the door quietly she can just slip into her seat.
Unfortunately it’s one of those moments that she envisions will happen isn't even close to what really happens. The door opens quietly. Though there isn’t a sound, every head turns toward Gerri, including Mrs. Dugger, who stops in mid-sentence, removes her glasses and lets them hang on the chain around her neck.
“Well, Miss DeMore? You decided to join us?”
Gerri realizes she needs to get this over quickly. She starts for her desk, head bowed and walking quickly.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Young lady, wait just a second, please. May I have your attention right here, please?”
Gerri looks at Mrs. Dugger and her heart falls in fright. Mrs. Dugger is glaring at her with a very irritated look and pointing to her own chest demanding Gerri’s undivided attention.
“Didn’t mean to interrupt? You already have. You know, Miss DeMore, I try to be accommodating if someone needs a little time here or there but you just sachet' in here as if you don’t care. Do you think you’re privileged and don’t have to follow the rules? You interrupt my class without so much as a how-do-ya-do. Lately you’ve been acting like the class clown whenever you can and I think it’s high time you know these people around you aren’t laughing with you. They’re laughing at you. That’s sad. So I think it's time you and I come to an understanding about your attitude and conduct but we've wasted enough of everyone else’s time for now. As soon as classes are over today I expect you to come and have a visit with me. We'll see if maybe I can help you understand rules and a little respect. Got that?”
The entire class is staring at Gerri and a couple of soft giggles and “oooh”’s are heard. She tries to keep her gaze focused on Mrs. Dugger, realizing she’s again the star of today's student entertainment and this time it’s not fun at all. The tears roll down her cheeks and she can't control the loud sobs that follow. Mrs. Dugger’s silhouette is all that’s visible through her tears.
“I don't feel well at all. I need to be excused.”
Out the door and down the hall goes Gerri, half-walking, half-running. She reaches the bathroom and goes to the end stall, sitting down, leaning her head back against the hard wall and stretching her long legs out in front. So other girls think she looks like a scarecrow? How can Mrs. Dugger embarrass her in front of the entire class? She could have said something after class or anything other than just make her stand there like a dunce. How can anybody be so cruel? No one can possibly know the fear, guilt, anger that pervades Gerri’s life because if they did realize it maybe there would be some sympathy. Oh, how Gerri hates Mrs.Dugger.
It seems today’s the day everybody is just waiting for a chance to chop her legs from under her and embarrass her. Events are even more embarrassing when they’re such a surprise that she can't even think what to say or how to defend herself. Like the hateful comments of Anne Tolbert and the other girls in the hall, Betsy's invitation and how Betsy was really just doing what her mother made her do, but she never really wanted Gerri to come to her party. Or, like Mike Decker whining to his buddies and of course they all take his side because he’s a basketball player. Gerri hates his pimples and gangly physique more than ever. They’re all horrible and two-faced. So now she’s not tall and attractive, she’s a scarecrow that nobody likes. Gerri pledges to never speak to any of them, ever again. She may have to be civil to Mrs. Dugger but only to get through her class. No smiles and just hate for what all of them have done.
Gerri’s so filled with rage she can hardly breathe. The longer she sits in the stall the more she feels very close to being out of control. She wishes she could turn back the clock a couple of years, escape to home and be held in her mom’s arms right at this minute. But old memories of love and security can never catch up to today’s reality
The outer door to the bathroom opens and one of Gerri’s classmates quietly calls out, “Gerri? You in here?”
Gerri recognizes Jill's voice. “Yeah.”
“Mrs. Dugger told me if you need help I can get the nurse or if you need to you can stay here until the bell rings and she said you can just go on to your next class. She said you don't have to see her after school today, either. So do you need me to get the nurse?”
“No. I’m okay. I just need a little time. I'll be fine in a minute.”
“Okay. I'm gonna stay here for a couple more minutes and then I'll go back to class. God. She's so boring I was about to go to sleep anyhow. I hate Grave-Dugger’s class. Maybe I’ll stay here until the bell rings.”
Gerri doesn’t answer. She really doesn’t care if Jill misses class or not, but in a few minutes Jill leaves without another comment. When the bell sounds for the end of the period, Gerri walks back to the room to get her books. She knows Mrs. Dugger sees her but acts like she doesn’t and she doesn't say anything, and Gerri’s not going to say anything either.
But as Gerri heads for the door Mrs. Dugger speaks in a voice that’s obviously meant to sound kind and caring, “Geraldine, are you alright?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Okay. See you tomorrow.”
Gerri’s face feels hot as anger builds once again. Mrs. Dugger can take the time to verbally beat her up in class in front of everyone but then wants to sound all friendly and caring when there’s nobody around. All Gerri can think is that the damage was done in class. All the kids in class will remember every embarrassing second. Mrs. Dugger will never get a smile from this day forward.
As Gerri enters the hallway and hears the door latch behind her she emphatically whispers, “Witch!”
In sixth hour Mr. Penn mentions to Gerri that he’s still waiting for Mr. Lander’s approval so they’ll postpone the after-school assistance for another day.
Finally, the end of this day! Gerri pushes open the big double-doors and stands outside in the fresh air. She takes a deep breath. Her dad is nowhere in sight and she never really expected him to be waiting or to even remember. He probably wouldn’t show his face this soon anyhow. Not after his noon-time performance. She figures there’s no reason to wait so she’s all set to walk home.