Same park, same lawn, same arch, but something had changed. Every time Nixy had escaped into this dream, it had been a refuge, a place to revisit her past, see Efrem again.
But this time Efrem wasn’t there and everything else seemed to be made out of tissue paper. One sprinkle of rain would set the colors running in rivulets until it all melted away. Including the grass she sat on.
I want to hear the birds sing.
The gentle coo of a mourning dove reached her ear. And somewhere beyond the empty archway, where the rows of grapevines normally stood, came the muted chatter of chickadees, or finches, or some sort of flittering small bird. But it all lacked the clarity of before. She leaned forward to rest her arms on her drawn-up knees.
What’s wrong with me?
“There is nothing wrong with you, Nixy.”
She closed her eyes and allowed herself a relieved smile at the sound of Kai’s deep voice. “I knew you would come.”
Or, at least, she’d hoped he would. It was kind of nice not to have to wait until their date to see him again.
“Did you?” He stepped up next to her and lowered himself to sit on the ground, then stretched out his wings to each side so they partially rested on the grass, one directly behind her. “The white runner and rows of chairs are gone.”
“And the guests, and the vineyard.” Why did she dream of him with flaming red wings and headfeathers?
“Yet the rose bushes remain.”
She glanced behind her. “Yes, they do.” With blooms as red as his wings. “The pond too.”
Her gaze skittered to the golden skin of his bare chest. A sinewy strength projected from him, even in real life. Human guys his age weren’t built like that, but human men also didn’t need to stay in shape in order to fly. That alone would be a motivator for anyone. And, to be honest, she rather liked Kai’s sleek muscular structure over the bulkier bodies of Kyzel and the others she’d met from the Raptorclaw clan.
Geez, what was wrong with her? Sure, this was a dream, but gawking at him still seemed invasive. She lowered her gaze to study the way the light fabric of his orange harem pant-like leggings settled against his muscular legs. It was too bad he was so much older in real life.
Why’d I ask him out on a date, then?
She sighed and forced herself to look out over the pond. It wasn’t a date exactly, just two colleagues getting together for dinner. That was all it could be, right? The most they could ever be was friends. She’d already found the love of her life, and that lightning bolt didn’t strike twice.
“Where is Efrem, Nixy?”
An invisible claw closed around her stomach. “I…I can’t find him.” Or he didn’t want to be found. He had bumped her into Kai’s arms during the last dream, after all. “He was a good man, y’know.”
Kind, sweet, supportive…everything she had waited to find in a husband.
“Aye, I believe that. You would not put up with an unworthy mate.”
Darn right. “I miss him.”
“I know. I can feel your sorrow.”
He could? She looked up into his eyes. “Are you an empath or something?”
“Aye.” He nodded, the dream sunlight shimmering over his headfeathers. “It is important to honor what he stood for, but not at the cost of living.”
Wow, this was great. Her very own dream psychoanalyst to help her through the stages of grief.
Hey, whatever works.
She was hardly in a position to complain. “That makes a lot of sense, Kai.” Why couldn’t he be more like this in real life? “Do the birds sound louder to you all of a sudden?”
“Look over there.” He pointed toward the arch, but it was what was beyond the arch that grabbed her attention.
“The vineyard is back. But where are the chairs, and the runner?” And the guests, and the priest?
And Efrem?
“Those are part of the past now.” He met her gaze. “But the rest of the universe still surrounds you and is very much alive.”
A spark of defiance tried to catch in her heart. “Well, the arch is still here.”
“And it always will be.” Kai brushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear. “As it should.”
His words settled around her like a warm, fuzzy blanket on a cold day. Everything was as it should be, all of it. “Efrem isn’t really gone, is he?”
Kai shook his head. “He will always be a part of you. Part of your past.” He touched his finger to her chest directly over her heart. “Right here.”
A sense of excitement bloomed over her skin from that touch point, spreading like goosebumps until it encompassed her entire body. Everything was okay. She was okay. And, somehow, Efrem’s absence didn’t feel hollow anymore.
“You are a good soul, too, Nixy Vogel. Do not ever doubt that.”
“I’ll try not to.”
She scooted closer to Kai, leaned against his side, and rested her head on his shoulder. After a moment, the soft rustle of feathers reached her ear, and his wing appeared over her shoulder, curving around her. She allowed her eyes to close, and the bird song to fill her until it too faded away as sleep claimed her.