Chapter 22

The point of no return

 

W

ill and I were invited over to the neighbours for a barbecue in the summer heat, and I was looking forward to a pleasant and relaxed afternoon filled with enjoyment. Lately, it seemed like both households had been quite busy. We had finally completed our last IVF attempt a few days earlier and were now trying to set everything aside for a while. All this uncertainty was so consuming that we needed a break.

Will rang the doorbell, and not a few seconds later, we heard the sound of eager little children's feet running.

‘Iam!!!’ Christina shouted at the top of her lungs and threw herself at Will grabbing for his neck. She had become our little treasure, and it seemed to be mutual.

‘Hey, Tinkerbell! That was quite the welcome. Have you been waiting long?’ Will chuckled.

‘She hasn't talked about anything else for the past five hours, so if you hadn't come now, we would have come over to get you,’ Aleksandra laughed from the living room.

Will scooped Christina up in his arms, and she leaned towards me with outstretched arms.

‘Mia!’ She waved her arms at Will and burst into laughter as he tickled her tummy.

I kicked off my sandals, grabbed the giggling little girl, and continued into the house. I caught a glimpse of Peter through the kitchen door, marinating meat for the grill, while Aleksandra had just stepped onto the porch with a salad bowl in her hands. The baby lay on a blanket in the shade, babbling and kicking eagerly.

I set Christina down on the grass, and she dashed after her mother at full speed. Then, I helped set the table, doing my part to contribute. From the kitchen, I could hear Will chuckling at Peter's underwear humour. It was so effortless to have friends like these, so liberating to come here and just be myself.

The afternoon passed with good food and pleasant conversation. As I helped Aleksandra clear the table, Peter finished preparing dessert. Will entertained Christina, who had recently learned to write her own name.

I heard Christina spell the letters aloud as she wrote, and not long after, she ordered Will to write his name too. With a cold soda in my hand, I walked back out onto the porch just as Christina lifted up the sheet of paper with ‘WILLIAM’ written in block letters. The sun illuminated the paper, the letters shining through the thin sheet and fully readable from the back. MAILLIW. It was spelled backward, yet still clear and distinct. Everything came to a halt.

William spelled backward was Mailliw. I had never actually thought about how Majliv spelled his name, but this confirmed the suspicion that had been stirring within me lately. Majliv's real name was William. One thought led to another, dragging me into an emotional whirlpool. What if my Majliv was the same person as my husband William? Could something so unlikely be possible? No, I halted the train of thought before it gained control over solid reasoning. It had to be a coincidence. Gaia is full of Williamses, and the difference between them was way too significant. Or what?

 

For the following days, I unconsciously studied Will more than I ever had since we were newly in love. His body language, how he articulated himself, and his interests. He had always enjoyed the outdoors, and from the age of seven, he had been an enthusiastic member of the scouts - a commitment he had continued throughout his childhood. He had even become a leader of a patrol at the age of thirteen. He spoke about those experiences with a passion I rarely saw otherwise. When he eventually had to quit, he was 18 and had landed his first job.

 

A few days later, Will felled a couple of trees from the property line, which he then proceeded to chop into firewood. I stood by the window and watched him. It was hot in the sun, so he was only wearing a tank top as he swung the axe high above his head. He had always had a prominent V-shaped back and strong, dependable arms, and now they swelled beneath the damp, sweaty skin. There was no doubt that Will was an attractive man. While not the most muscular, he was remarkably agile and stable. Visibly strong, reliable, and not to forget; very handsome.

As I stood there lost in my own thoughts, he struggled with a large, stubborn trunk that wouldn't split. He slammed it onto the ground, cursed at it, kicked it with his right foot, and raised one arm as if reaching for something, before suddenly catching himself and quickly lowering his hand again, cautiously looking around.

Alarm bells rang in my head. What had I just seen? What was he trying to reach for? It distinctly reminded me of something, didn't it?

Suddenly, I knew. Majliv had done the same thing when he had reached for the stick and turned the trunk into kindling. Admittedly, no stick had come to Will's aid, but every movement was exactly the same.

I held my breath until I felt dizzy. Images and memories of both of my men mingled into a thick porridge in my mind. The deep, dark blue eyes, the features, and the movements, all were undoubtedly the same. How had I not seen it before?

Could I really have fallen for the same man in both worlds?

 

 

For each passing day, I saw more clearly what I hadn't noticed before. The way Majliv stretched his neck when he got stiff, how it was simply impossible for Will to go up a staircase without taking two steps at a time, or how both of them took off their sweaters by first grabbing the neckline with one hand and then pulling it forward over their heads - these were precise similarities, among dozens of other small things.

With each day, I also became more aware of what I had learned about the Grimrokk curse. Suddenly, it was more real to me than ever before, even though I had seen what had happened to Nikolas. Every second, fear clung to me, the dread that the Grimrokk curse would strike us.

Majliv had been away from the estate for a long time, but this time I hadn't missed him like before. Despite the fear, there was also comfort in thinking that Will and Majliv were most likely the same person. Because it meant that not a single day went by without seeing him, and absurd as it was, I had begun to accept it. Anything was better than living with the intense longing day after day.

This evening was like any other evening. Batist, Lynn, and I were in the lounge playing cards, Kian was on a sofa with his feet on the coffee table, small electric sparks dancing between his fingertips. Teddy and Nette were lying on the floor with a ball of yarn rolling between them, playing with the kitten that bounced back and forth in its playful hunt for its now quite frayed prey.

It was getting quite late, so the last thing any of us expected was for the doorbell to ring.

‘Well... that's strange. Who could that be at this hour?’ Batist got up and went to answer it.

A short while later, he returned with a smile and a familiar figure in tow.

Majliv radiated toward me. I always felt a bit safer when he was nearby, and I sensed my body releasing muscle tension I didn't know I had.

He came over to me, bent down, and gave me a kiss.

‘What are you doing here so late? Don't think I'm not happy you're coming, but you usually don't come here so late in the evening,’ I smiled at him.

‘Believe it or not, it was Huldra herself who said I needed a few days to attend to my dearest treasure. So here I am,’ he said. His voice was gentle, but the smile on his lips didn't quite reach his eyes. Huldra was rarely so gracious as to give Majliv time off without ulterior motives. It had never happened before, and what was with the cryptic message about taking care of the dearest thing he had?

Everything had a purpose when it came from Huldra.

‘Hmm... that's strange. Has she ever given you time off like that before?’ I had to ask, even if I might not want to know.

‘No. Never before have I been told to take a few days off. It has only happened when I've been between missions, waiting for a new task, but never time off like this.’ He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and returned with a broad smile that sparkled in his eyes. His hands snaked around my waist. I rested my head against his chest and filled my nose with his delightful scent.

‘Get a room, you two!’ Kian shouted and flicked a spark that gave me a jolt right on my backside.

Everyone laughed as Batist cleared the table of glasses and games. The children were sent to bed, and the adults bid each other goodnight and went their separate ways.

On the way up the stairs, I grabbed Majliv's hand and eagerly pulled him with me towards my room.

‘Oh, really? Is there something special on your mind that you're so eager to have me alone?’ I could hear his laughter in my ear and felt his breath against my cheek.

‘You would probably like to know,’ I chuckled with a mischievous smile on my lips. He grabbed my shoulder, leaned down, and lifted me effortlessly, simultaneously kicking open the door to my room.

‘Shh! The walls are thin,’ I whispered, a bit too loudly and with laughter in my voice. Majliv entered my room with me in his arms, pushed the door back with one foot, and leaned against it, letting it close with a thud.

It was so delightful when he was playful like he was now. He was rarely this relaxed; he usually carried the world's weight on his shoulders. My heart pounded with eager longing to have a whole night with him again.

He set me down on the floor and his hands travelled from my waist, up my chest, to my neck as his mouth met my neck. His lips were warm and soft, kissing their way up from the collarbone to the earlobe. My pulse raced through my entire body as he teased every inch of skin on the slow journey to my lips. My own lips, on the other hand, were impatiently waiting for his, and I eagerly contributed to meet him. Soft, tender lips met each other.

‘Oh my God, how I've longed for this.’ He grabbed behind my thighs and lifted me until I could wrap my legs around his hips. I laughed in surprise as I was lowered onto the bed, and nimble hands untied the knot at my waist. With my fingertips, I frantically searched for smooth skin, tugging at every piece of clothing that stood in their way.

‘I've longed for you so intensely. It feels like an eternity since we were together like this.’ I understood so deeply what he meant. It hadn't really been that long since we had time to ourselves, but we would never know how long we'd have to wait until the next time. Our only thought was to seize the opportunity now, as it came so eagerly.

‘Give me everything you've got!’ The words came out with a moan from my lips. I started tugging at his shirt, the soft fabric sliding up the hard, muscular body. I wanted to lick every inch of the perfect, masculine sculpture that loomed over me with strong arms. Majliv kissed my stomach and slowly pushed my top upward. He licked my breasts and teased me with the tip of his tongue along my ribs. It tickled so intensely that I didn't know what to make of myself, and I laughed hysterically.

‘No! It tickles! William, STOP!’ It slipped out of my mouth. He laughed and withdrew.

I looked up. The laughter subsided, and the big smile faded little by little.

The silence made me uncertain. What was it? Had I done something wrong? Will liked to be playful in bed.

Will? No, Majliv!

It was as if a huge stone landed right in my stomach. All my senses locked, and echoes roared inside my head.

Majliv's gaze became utterly frantic. The whole man froze in his place.

‘No! No! That's not what I meant! I just misspoke!’ I shouted, now hysterical.

It was completely silent around us. We dared hardly to breathe. Time didn't exist, or it mocked us. We were surrounded by a compact silence, like before a storm or in the minute before the guillotine falls. But no storm surged in. No guillotine fell.

‘It can't be possible!’ Majliv's words were barely palpable breath against my cheek. Had we escaped? If so, how? Why?

I felt relief pull the corners of my mouth into a smile, just as my body became heavy. The image in front of my eyes began to lose focus. Numbness prickled through my whole body, and slowly but surely, I drifted away from the world. The sounds that enveloped me felt like being wrapped in down, and gradually, Majliv's hysterical expression also disappeared, which I managed to see darken before it vanished into a mist.

The curse swallowed me. Everything turned black. Empty. Lonely. My brain ceased to absorb anything from the surroundings. And where was Majliv?

 

 

I slowly opened my eyes. Above me was just a white ceiling. I was breathing as if I had run a marathon. The relief was immense; I had awakened from that dreadful dream!

‘It was just a dream,’ I sighed half aloud. A dream. But Grimmers didn't dream. I looked around, turned to Will's side of the bed. Sweet Will, he was sleeping peacefully next to me. My breathing calmed. It could and had to have been a dream because I was in Gaia.

I moved closer to him to soothe my restless heart. His skin was soft and warm, and his breathing was deep and tranquil. I rested my head against his chest and waited for the arms that were supposed to hold me tightly, while I listened to the steady, reassuring thump of his heart.

But there were no arms. No one pulled me close. No change in pulse or breath told me he had registered my presence.

Quickly, I sat up on my knees and looked down at Will. If I hadn't seen his chest rise and fall, or just heard his pulse beat, I would have thought he was dead. My own heart pounded desperately as I firmly grabbed his shoulders and shook him, hard. No reaction. Not even an irritated grunt.

Panic hit me full force because I understood what had actually happened. The Grimrokk curse had struck us after all.