The life of a lobster is not a life of leisure. It’s tough down there on the ocean floor of the Gulf of Maine, where survival hangs by a thread even for the largest lobster. Size certainly matters, because the rules of Darwinian evolution are ruthless. The little guys (and gals) don’t just have to worry about the predators, humans included; they also have to worry about their larger brethren, who could just as easily rip off an appendage as kill and eat them outright. But even the four-to-five-pounders, once so numerous in the early days of the Maine settlement, must be careful. There’s always a larger fish waiting to pounce on an unwary crustacean who’s grown fat and happy in his little underwater kingdom.
As we find elsewhere in the animal world, lobsters live by a strict hierarchy. Males must fight for even the tiniest piece of property, a place to call their own. Once established as the neighborhood’s alpha male, the champion lords over his domain as mercilessly as any warlord. The smaller males slink away, destined to live wandering lives, crawling from rock to rock, until they’re found by the food chain. If they’re really lucky, they might even mate once in their lives. Female lobsters aren’t just picky; they’re also quite efficient. As Trevor Corson writes, “After copulating once, an older female can produce and fertilize two entire batches of eggs without bothering to molt or mate a second time.… veteran ladies need a man around only once every four or five years, but they still produce eggs more often and in vastly greater quantities than their smaller counterparts.”30 Good luck, guys.
But the warlord? The warlord lets the females find him. They all but line up outside the entry to his castle, perhaps an abandoned and rotting lobster trap, awaiting their turn. Not a bad life, right? But even the strongest, most alpha of alpha males must abide by the rules of his own biology. In this case, this means that a large male lobster is just as vulnerable to the elements and predators during molting as any of the lesser males.
Writes Corson: “The lobster’s shell gives the animal all of its rigidity. Under the shell, the lobster is little more than a jelly-soft flesh and floppy organs. The problem with this arrangement is that the lobster is constantly growing, while the shell is fixed in size. To get bigger a lobster must literally burst its seams, escape its old shell, and expose its vulnerable inner self to the hungry world while it constructs a new shell large enough to allow its body to expand.”31
Lobsters have no choice in this life. The clear majority of lobsters live lives that are, in the words of Thomas Hobbes, “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.” Now, Hobbes was referring to human beings during a particular moment in history, but his words can just as easily apply to lobsters … or entrepreneurs. As entrepreneurs, we’ve chosen this life. We’ve chosen to live in a Darwinian world not unlike the one inhabited by the lobster. A lobster can’t call on his stronger pal to protect him, and neither can you. Nor can a lobster simply allow another to enter his domain, steal his food, and take his mates. He must fight, and so must you, even if you’re smaller. A lobster must expand, exposing the fragile body underneath his hard exterior, if he wants to survive. That hard shell you’ve built around your venture won’t protect you forever, because you will outgrow it. Periods of expansion can be some of the most difficult for any business, precisely because you haven’t yet formed the shell. But knowing when, how, and where to expand will greatly increase your survival chances.
Survival is a daily concern for lobsters, as it is for us. Despite our success and our (minor) celebrity, we wake up each day concerned that another lobster is out there, just waiting to gobble us up and take over everything we’ve built. At the same time, we also wake up each day more determined than the day before to avoid the carelessness and stupidity that dooms otherwise healthy businesses every day. We’re aware that our own actions and decisions are a far greater threat than anything that might be out there lurking and waiting to take a bite. Some might think that that’s the difference between an entrepreneur and a lobster, but dumb lobsters don’t reach old age. And neither do dumb, lazy entrepreneurs.
Before you close this book, we want to leave you with some final lessons. But one stands out that we’ll state right here: just choosing to be an entrepreneur isn’t enough. No less than the lobster, an entrepreneur is thrust into a cold, harsh environment where mere survival is about the best one can hope to achieve. For many entrepreneurs, survival is enough. Survival means you’re living your life on your terms. Survival means you eat what you catch and aren’t dependent on someone else for subsistence. Survival means you fight for your little corner of the ocean and fend off intruders.
But for the rest of us, survival isn’t enough. We want to thrive in this dangerous world. We don’t just want a corner, we want a kingdom. More so than any other profession, being an entrepreneur allows you to build a kingdom. It’s not without its sacrifices, but then, nothing worth having ever is. It’s also not without its dangers, but you didn’t think this would be easy, did you? There’s a reason so few choose to live in this world. Of those, few survive. And of those, fewer thrive. But if you’ve understood what we’ve said and have a little bit of luck, then you’ll find those of us on the other side are the happiest people in the world. We want you to join us, but some final matters remain.
YOU’RE ENTITLED TO NOTHING
Some business books claim anyone can be an entrepreneur. This isn’t one of them. We’ve lived in the real world and have met a lot of different types of people. Most of them are hardworking, decent people, but that doesn’t make them entrepreneurs. Yet we would never discourage anyone from taking on the challenge of entrepreneurism, particularly if we don’t know them. So, take what we’re about to say with that in mind.
The very idea of this book sprung from conversations we would have with customers who asked us how we did it. Not everyone who asked us wanted to be an entrepreneur. There’s a natural curiosity out there about business creation—heck, any creative endeavor—regardless of whether one wants to do it himself. We hope those readers without entrepreneurial dreams have gotten something out of this book, because we wrote it to answer their questions. But we also wrote it to help answer the other question we sometimes get asked, usually right after “How did you do it?” The question is “Do you think I can do it?”
By charting the course of our business, as well as the lessons we’ve learned along the way, we’ve tried to show that none of our success was inevitable. Any lingering belief that we are where we are solely because of Shark Tank should be smashed by now. We are thankful every day for the opportunity to succeed Shark Tank afforded us, but that’s all it was: an opportunity. The list of companies who signed deals on the show only to fail anyway is longer than the list of those who are still around years after their episodes aired. That’s not Shank Tank’s fault. The show does exactly what it claims to do: the deal signed with a venture capitalist is real and the support and mentorship the sharks provide is real. But a deal isn’t a golden ticket. Signing with a shark doesn’t entitle you to any more success than the company that didn’t sign.
You would think this would be a fairly obvious point, but not everyone gets it. We’ve encountered former contestants from the show who signed with a shark only to be left bitter and resentful of what happened afterward. They did expect the golden ticket. They did feel entitled to more than support and mentorship from their sharks. We can only guess, but they probably feel this way because they saw Shark Tank as an end unto itself. Not only did they get on the show, but they signed a deal! This proves they’re great entrepreneurs!
It proves nothing except that a shark saw potential in either them or their business. Which, when you think about it, is about as far away from success as you can get. Potential doesn’t pay for a damn thing. If all it took to succeed was potential, then the ranks of millionaire and billionaire business owners would be as long as the phone book. Just because you have a good idea, make a few sales, or convince someone to give you money doesn’t mean you’re a success. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this, and it’s not just former Shark Tank contestants.
We’ve also encountered people who have the same sense of entitlement simply from becoming an entrepreneur. They assume that merely putting themselves in the game means that certain things must happen. After all, they took huge risks and the universe rewards those who take risks. Let’s be clear here: the universe doesn’t give a damn about your risk. It doesn’t care how super terrific your idea is. It doesn’t care how much of your savings you’ve dumped into this idea. It doesn’t care how many late nights you’ve spent working on it. And it doesn’t care how depressed you’ve become when no one else sees the brilliance of your idea.
So say it with us: the universe doesn’t care. You’re entitled to nothing.
But there are some people—we’ve met them, you probably know a few yourself—that simply won’t get that. This doesn’t make them bad workers. Nor does it prove their idea is awful. But they won’t approach being an entrepreneur the same way we’ve approached it or perhaps you approach it. This type of person expects things to happen, when a real entrepreneur makes things happen. We felt great after signing our deal with Barbara, but we never expected Barbara to turn us into millionaires. We didn’t see the deal with Barbara as being an end unto itself; it was only the beginning. Put another way, the hard work we had already put into the business—the late nights, the long days, the stress—these things were only just starting. It would get harder. We knew that. You should know that. If you don’t know that, then don’t be an entrepreneur.
The point is that not everyone can do what we do. We won’t pretend otherwise to try to sell books. There are a lot of bad personality traits that can doom any would-be entrepreneur’s dream, but in our experience a sense of entitlement is the deadliest. It simply strips you of your edge, your killer instinct. And from it flows all sorts of other bad traits: lack of confidence, laziness, apathy, and resentment. As we said, we will never discourage anyone from starting their own business. But that’s far different from saying that everyone should.
PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE
In chapter 9 we mentioned that it’s better to cut bait when it comes to bad employees. Indeed, our tolerance for a bad employee is paper-thin these days. Problems with performance are one thing; an otherwise hardworking, ethical person can be trained to do his or her job better. But a lazy, duplicitous worker, even one who does their job extremely well, is an unsolvable problem. Why? Because we’ve come to learn that people don’t change—and it’s not our job to try to change them.
Of course, this has application with regard to your employees, but it doesn’t stop there. Your employees aren’t the only people you’ll be dealing with during your business day. You deal with customers, suppliers, investors, and, most especially, yourself. We’ve learned that it’s far more important to know these people as people—their strengths, flaws, and demeanor—than as anything else. But whatever else these people do for you they will do it as the person they are. A supplier doesn’t leave his character at home when he goes to work. A potential business partner might play some hardball when it comes to the deal you’re putting together, but if he’s a decent person, he will treat you decently. And then there’s you—whatever defects of character you woke up in the morning with will be the same defects that you go to sleep with at night.
Put simply, don’t try to change the bad apples. Not only will they upset you in their determined effort to stay exactly as they are, but you will be exhausted from the experience and your business will suffer. This isn’t an easy lesson to learn. It took us years to finally get it, because we didn’t want to get it. You won’t either. You will want to assume the best of everyone, because that’s what normal, decent people do in their everyday life. You will want to give people multiple chances. You will want to learn why they act the way they do. You will offer your help to them. And you will go home after every effort thoroughly disappointed in their inability to change.
Remember, you’re not their therapist. They aren’t paying you to make them better people. Nor are you paying them on the hope that one day they might become better people. Your relationship with them is based almost entirely on what they can do for your company. Now, from that hard-nosed relationship true friendships can flourish, but that’s just the icing. Nice to have, but don’t expect it. When you start out, you’re going to want to be friends with nearly everyone. It’s natural. We felt the same way. But you’ll learn that not everyone needs to be your friend to help your business. They just can’t be assholes.
And this goes for you, too. The process of becoming an entrepreneur is the process of finding out who you are. It’s a plunge into a deep, dark pool of your own psyche and it can be a revelatory experience. A lot of it is good, don’t get us wrong. We started Cousins Maine Lobster assuming certain things about ourselves—mostly good things. Our journey has confirmed some of those assumptions, proven others woefully off, and revealed aspects of our own characters we never knew about. Not all those unknown aspects are good, by the way. For example, we didn’t expect that we’d come so naturally to accepting this very lesson, that people don’t change. But we haven’t only accepted it; we can be quite unforgiving of those who break our trust.
At the same, we also discovered that our philanthropic side is as big as our business side. As you saw in the last chapter, we don’t just give a little bit here and there to our favorite charities. We’ve become proud ambassadors of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. It’s one of those characteristics that probably would have laid dormant had we not become entrepreneurs.
But this isn’t so much about the good as about the bad stuff you’ll discover about yourself. To be an entrepreneur is to wear multiple hats, particularly in those early days. You end up doing everything because you must. It’s no surprise that you’ll find you’re good at some stuff, really good at other stuff, and just flat-out awful at everything else. In time, you learn to focus on what you’re good at and leave the awful stuff to people who are much better at it than you.
But what happens if you find you’re bad at a lot of stuff? This doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your business, just so long as you have the humility and clarity to see your faults. Plug your weaknesses with good people where you can and keep struggling. But, of course, there’s a difference between being bad at, say, finances and just being lazy. The former is a problem, to be sure, but one that has a solution. But if you’re lazy, if you simply can’t find the motivation to work at the level your business requires, then you must be honest with yourself about that. It’s very likely that you’re simply not cut out to be an entrepreneur.
Now, perhaps you can find it within you to fix these fundamental flaws. We firmly believe that people don’t change, not even us, but there are exceptions to the rule. There are people walking the earth right now who rid themselves of the demons holding them back. If an employee or partner came to us with promises to change, we would wish him well. But he wouldn’t be part of the Cousins Maine Lobster family anymore. If he or she is going to change, then they’re going to do it on their time. And you should have the courage not to waste other people’s time struggling to build a business that you’re unfit to build. Because no matter what type of business you want to start, you can’t do it alone. You will bring others in, and these people will look to you for leadership. You owe it to them to be honest with yourself.
We say this because we know there’s a misconception out there about what it means to run your own business. We mentioned it in chapter 9, but it bears repeating: you will never work harder than when you’re your own boss. There are no shortcuts to being an entrepreneur. As Jerry Maguire tells Rod Tidwell, “It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about.” OK, it’s not that bad … but you have to live it to know it. That doesn’t stop us from scaring you straight about the work ahead. It will demand your full focus and complete devotion. Work-life balance is the biggest joke among entrepreneurs. There is no life. Yes, things get better, but only by degree, not by kind. Unless you have the constitution and fortitude to take on the monumental task before you, don’t.
Recently, Sabin was talking to a friend who was lamenting the state of the economy and how hard it is out there for working folks. Then the friend said, “But you wouldn’t know what that’s about. You’re doing fine.” Doing fine. It’s not the first time that phrase or something like it has passed someone’s lips in front of us. The idea that because we’re “doing fine” we don’t know what it’s like to work hard is about the biggest bunch of bullshit we’ve ever heard. Yes, we are indeed doing fine, but just because we’re making money doesn’t mean we’re sitting by the pool drinking piña coladas while our grunts carry the load of the business.
Also, don’t confuse what we’re talking about with personal faults. You can be an excellent employee, even a member of the C-suite, and be a lousy entrepreneur. It’s not for everyone. You won’t know until you try, of course.
ALL IT TAKES IS ALL THAT YOU GOT
This one should go without saying, but we’re including it here, at the bitter end, because it is the unofficial motto of Cousins Maine Lobster. The saying, “All it takes is all that you got,” comes from one of Jim’s hockey coaches, but it has guided him—and now us—during this entrepreneurial journey. We just said that you can be an excellent employee but that that doesn’t mean you’ll be a good entrepreneur. We said that in the context of discovering uncomfortable truths about yourself—truths that inhibit your ability to run a start-up business well. But not every bad entrepreneur has these flaws. Many are very hardworking, motivated, brilliant people. But even then, some are unwilling or incapable of giving all that they have to the business.
We stress that this isn’t a fault, in the negative sense of the word. A mother might be a brilliant entrepreneur but her responsibility to her family keeps her from giving all that she has. A father might have the greatest idea for the next, best mousetrap, and have investors banging down his door, but he needs to care for his disabled child. You get the point. Through no fault of their own, certainly nothing that we can criticize, these people can’t do what needs to be done to make their businesses thrive. We imagine it’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you could have done it, but had other priorities to attend to.
But the thing is that a business is a harsh mistress. She demands your entire life. Not just Mondays through Fridays, nine to five. It’s seven days a week, often eighteen hours a day, for 365 days a year. There aren’t any breaks, vacations, or kids’ soccer games for the entrepreneur, particularly in those early days. There is only the business.
This is often too much for some people. And it should be. Being a family person, a volunteer, a coach for your kid’s basketball team on the weekends—this is what life is about. It’s not a flaw of character to put these matters above your work. Unless you want to be an entrepreneur. Then, those are all secondary considerations. You will make it home for family dinners if you have time. You will volunteer to work at the local soup kitchen if you have time. You will help coach your child’s basketball squad if you have time. But you won’t have time. If you can accept that—more important, if your family and other obligations can accept that—then join us.
People often ask us what the secret is to our success. Here it is: no one will work harder than us. That’s it. Every other lesson we’ve taught you in this book comes down to that: we will not be outworked. This ethic comes out not only in our day-to-day managing of the company. It haunts us at night, as well. Sabin likes to say that he wishes he knew now what he’ll know in a year. It’s that feeling—What am I missing? What don’t I know? What should I be doing?—that made us ask a million questions, that made us prepare for Shark Tank as much as we did, that continues to drive us every morning when we wake up.
As it should drive you. Be driven. Be fearless. And give it all that you have.