part0014

Being a writer, or any other form of creative, is often a very lonely career path. Most creatives and writers sit alone all day, tapping out words. And it can make it hard to carry on, be motivated, and not, over time, become a little mentally unstable.

Not only is it important to have people to talk to for our own sanity, but having people around us who understand our dreams, goals, motivations and the importance of all that is huge.

I feel I need to add a caveat here. There are people you shouldn't tell your dreams and goals to. You need these people to believe the best in you, to cheer you on, and on occasion to give you a kick up the butt to get on with it. Sadly, there are a lot of people out there who respond to big dreams and goals in a negative fashion. Partially because they heard the same words from someone else and they don't realise they are simply replicating negative behaviour, and sometimes because they've hit a hurdle in their own dreams and goals and have given up, so they have lost hope for others succeeding.

While this can do you a lot of damage if you’re hyped up about a brand-new dream or goal, if you find yourself in this situation, try to disengage, even if that means literally walking away from someone and then calming down. It will hurt, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of that, but once you’ve put some distance between you and them, you can think about why they reacted the way they did, and the truth is probably very sad.

The truth is, they’re not you, and not everyone dares to dream big. And they've either let their dreams be crushed out of them by life or others. You don't want to be them, and you never know, if you keep pushing you might one day inspire these same people to try again. But it's important you don't rely on them either. Instead, you need to find a group of people, or, to begin with, even just one person, who can be your accountability and support in some way.

Sometimes just the act of telling people you're trying to do something can be enough. NaNoWriMo encourage writers to share on social media. As do the Inktober folks. Sharing goals like this can be a great way. But again, zap negative comments that pull your dreams down. You don't need negativity at this stage.

There are other ways you can make yourself accountable, but in general having relationships and good communication works best. This also then allows you the ability to form a support network of some kind or to join one .

Over the years I've been a member of many different groups. I've run a writers’ group for a while, and I've joined Facebook groups and Discord channels (servers a person hosts on the Discord platform). It takes time to find and build a support group, but just like with accountability, you can start with just one person.

One of my early accountability and support buddies was my grandma. I gave her a copy of my very first book, and a couple of months later, out of the blue, she phoned me up and told me how amazing she thought I was. She didn't know it, but at the time, I was struggling to plot out the next book. Her effort to phone me up just to tell me she thought it was amazing how these ideas just came to me gave me the boost I needed to knuckle down and plot the next one. I still remember that and the calls after the next three books to this day, and it's been almost nine years since that very first one. I always gave her print copies after that. Always.

My grandma isn't alive anymore, as I've also mentioned, but these days I've got others who I talk to when I'm struggling. I've got my own Discord channel, with a mix of other writers, beta readers and general fans, along with a few close friends. No matter what is going on, they’re there, full of encouragement, excitement and kind words. Even some advice occasionally. And I make sure I'm there for them in return. I want them to feel supported too. Because if encouragement and genuine excitement for each other’s achievements is reciprocal, it only fuels more of it.

A very wise person once said that a rising tide lifts all boats. And they're right. A group of people all striving and achieving and genuinely happy for each other also give the rest of the group inspiration and motivation to achieve. You show each other what's possible.

So, if I encourage you to do nothing else, I would encourage you to find some of these people. People who are genuine about their support of others. And then go support them in return. It can't be all about you and what you need. If you want genuine connection and people to support your creativity, you have to reciprocate. There will be seasons when you'll need more support or they will. And sometimes one of you will be having a bad day, but you'll get as much out of helping support them as they will out of supporting you, providing you're all striving towards goals and getting there eventually.

You can find a group like this in many ways. You might already have some among your family and friends, but if not, there are almost always groups set up. Most towns and cities have a writers’ group of some kind. While not all of these will be the right fit, they're worth checking out. Even if they're not perfect, you might find one or two similarly minded people and be able to message each other when the group isn't meeting.

Or social media can often provide these groups and connections too. I've met and continued to converse with many writers this way. Some of my earliest support has come from one group in particular. I even found my editor and cover designer through them. And they've pushed me to take my career far more seriously than most would have done. In return, I do what I can for them when I can. I tell them what worked for me, and I share their work with my fans too, and when they're having a difficult time I see if I can help.

In no time, you'll find yourself surrounded by people like these. And it will make it easier to reach those goals, until one after another you find yourself climbing higher than before.