FOR THE FIRST TIME since his death, I wish Father still lived. Chained up in the palace cellars. Somewhere I could talk to him.
As the sun breaks over the mouth of the cave, the voice in my head isn’t enough. I need someone to give me answers. Tell me which path is right.
“We need to go after them!” Tzain breaks through my thoughts. Concern sharpens all the hard lines in his face. He doesn’t beg to follow them as he has every hour. This time he states his command. “Something happened.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions!” I snap. I can’t have Tzain unravel on me now. I’m already unraveling on myself.
What do I do?
What can I do?
What should I do?
With each passing second, our victory slips away. The future of Orïsha goes up in flames. We need to take Mother and Inan out now, while they’re isolated and alone. If we can’t do it here, we won’t win this war.
You’ll never beat her. You can’t. For Mother, no sacrifice is too great.
Inan’s right. I can’t win unless I play their games. But can I really go through with this? Is any cost too great if it’ll end this madness?
I think of all the villagers we saw in Dakarai’s search; the children playing in the lake, the parents lining up at the village well. I think of what it will actually mean to wipe Mother and Inan from their earth.
I think of the fact that Zélie could be alive inside those walls.
In what world could I sacrifice her after everything she’s done for me? Everything she means? She and Tzain are the people I love most in this world.
Who will I be if I sacrifice that love just to win the war?
“Look!”
I snap my head up as Kâmarū runs to the entry point. Khani screams as Nâo rises through the carved hole, water propelling her upwards.
She collapses onto the rock, blood and bruises coating her skin. My gut clenches when I realize that Zélie and Roën aren’t with her.
“What happened?” Tzain rushes to them. “Where’s my sister?”
“I don’t know,” Nâo says through her coughs. “There were explosions—”
Before he can hear the rest, Tzain takes off, sprinting toward the cave’s exit.
“Tzain, no!” I scream after him. He can’t go into the village. He doesn’t know what’s about to happen.
“Tzain!” I yell, but he sprints like a man possessed. Other elders follow his lead. There’s only one way I can stop him.
“Ya èmí, ya ara!”
It’s like ripping my own heart in half to wield my magic against the boy I love. Tzain grunts as the cobalt blaze strikes him in the back. With a lurch, he tumbles to the cave floor. His legs are frozen stiff. He’ll never forgive me for this.
I shall never forgive myself.
“What are you doing?” he yells, and my resolve threatens to crack.
“You can’t go in there.” I clench my fist. “None of you can.”
He bares his teeth, but the rage falls away as realization sets in.
“What did you do,” he breathes. “Amari, what did you do?”
Everyone’s questions begin to mount at once, drowning me in their chaos. Kâmarū realizes Jahi’s absence first. Khani screams her sister’s name.
Mother wouldn’t stop.
I press my hands to my ears, trying to block out the noise. She would sacrifice anyone to win this war. How can I end it if I won’t do the same?
“Amari—”
“Everybody shut up!” I scream as the seconds tick away. The sun rises higher and higher into the sky. I dig my hands through my curls.
Strike, Amari. Father’s face comes to me. I don’t need him alive to know what he would say. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was his first choice or his last resort. It wouldn’t matter if it cost him everyone he loved.
I will be a better queen.
My last words to him play through my ears. If I go through with this, I won’t be any better.
But if I don’t, I’ll never get the chance to save Orïsha.
When the sun hits its mark the soldiers patrolling the village will change guard. We only have seconds before we lose it all.
They’ll find us at any moment.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper the words to the wind as I bring the horn to my lips.
My tears fall as the signal blares.