Two Years Later
Subject: Graduation Plans
From: jspencer@netscape.com
To: rstarling@horizon.com
Hi “Ruthie,”
Mother just called and gave me the good news you would be coming with them to my graduation from Waco High next Sunday afternoon. It’s been hard being away from you and the family these last two years but I am grateful my aunt and uncle were willing to let me live with them. They have done their best to make me feel a part of their family and I will always be grateful for their help.
Detective Walters has also been a great encouragement. He has nominated me for a scholarship through the National Policemen Association. After he told the association my story, he said he was almost sure I would get it. If I do, it will pay a large part of my tuition and expenses and make it possible to go to college right here in Waco at Evangel University.
I guess you’ve heard Detective Walters has a promotion and is now with the Dallas Police Department. Ever since that drug supplier and his accomplices were put away, he’s tried to get the Lubbock police to issue a report clearing me of the drug and reckless driving charges. The family of the boys killed in the accident is well connected. Walters says the police have been under pressure to keep the real story of what happened under wraps to protect the family’s reputation, which I guess, means mine doesn’t matter. One thing for sure, as things stand now, I will never be able to live in the Lubbock area again.
Mother said she passed on my e-mail address to your pastor in hopes he would encourage me. For whatever reason, I’ve never heard from him. I suppose that since I had never joined the church he didn’t want to become involved in my situation. I guess if I had been a member of the church, things might have been different but oh well…
The most important thing Ruthie is that you have stood by me and believed the best even before you knew the truth. You proved I was right that day I “adopted” you as a special friend your first day in school.
Since the folks will be coming down Friday evening, maybe I can take you for a picnic at Cameron Park on Saturday. Thanks again for coming to my graduation but most of all for being the special friend you are.
—Jerry
Unlike most of the girls her age, dating had still not made it to the top of Ruth’s “to do” list. She had many friends of both sexes and enjoyed going out in groups. One of the boys showed a special interest in her, always arranging to sit beside her when the group went out to a movie or a ball game. He was nice looking, had a great personality and was active in his church’s youth group, so when he asked if she would go on a “real date” with him she had to admit she felt a little special.
“You’re going aren’t you?” one of her girlfriends gushed.
When she said “no” her friend couldn’t believe it and asked why not. That was when, for the first time, she found herself hinting at feelings about Jerry she had never expressed, even to herself. “The boy is nice and I like him a lot as a friend,” she confided. “I know I would be comparing him to Jerry every time we went on a date and that wouldn’t be fair.”
Sitting in the back seat of the Spencers’ car on the drive to Waco, the word special kept echoing in her mind. In his e-mail, he said our friendship was special. How special? She agreed with his sentiments. Their relationship was special; had been since that morning ten years ago when he met her on the steps of the bus to escort her to first grade.
She thought of the morning two years ago and her near fatal fall from Gypsy. Her dad had been busy, but set his work aside, took her hand, and let her lead him to the corral to watch her ride. “Dad, I want to marry a man just like you someday,” she said laughingly as he cupped her heel and helped her into the saddle. “I’m sure God already has someone special picked out for you Ruth,” he said as he slapped Gypsy on the flank, sending her trotting around the corral.
As she rode along in the car she dozed somewhere between awake and asleep, but was jolted alert when Mr. Spencer announced they were only five miles from Waco. The echo of her father’s words lingered and she wondered, Is Jerry that special someone? If he isn’t then why are we special to each other now? What’s the purpose? One thing’s for sure, she resolved as they passed a sign announcing Waco’s city limit, until I know the answer to that question there will be no dating for me.
“My, you’ve changed Ruthie.” Jerry gave Ruth a broad smile as he entered his uncle’s living room. He thoughtfully appraised the blue-eyed beauty with hair the color of spun gold before sitting down beside her on the couch. “Wow, two years can sure make a difference,” he said, reaching out and taking her hand.
“I’m glad you noticed,” Ruth said teasingly, but blushed when she realized his parents and aunt and uncle were watching them with smiles of approval.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be here when you came,” Jerry explained. “Today my shift at Starbucks didn’t end till 6:00; but tomorrow…” He flashed a grin at Ruth. “I’ve made arrangements to be off and of course on Sunday for graduation.”
Jerry’s dad looked at his watch. “Well son, it’s almost 7:00,” he said, rising from an easy chair. “We better get to the motel and check in. I hear Evangel University is playing a big game tomorrow and I’ll bet the hotels and motels are probably booked solid. We sure don’t want to loose our reservations.”
Jerry saw them to their car, opened the back door for Ruth and as she got in, kissed her lightly on the cheek. “That will have to do till tomorrow Ruthie,” he said with a laugh as he closed the door.
They traveled in silence to the motel and Ruth was glad. It gave her mind free reign to imagine she could still feel the imprint of Jerry’s kiss on her cheek.
“Dad, I appreciate you letting us use the car today,” Jerry said the next morning when his parents and Ruth returned to his aunt’s and uncle’s.
“Glad to do it son. Your mother and aunt haven’t had a good visit for a long time. This will give them some time to catch up.”
Jerry turned his attention to Ruth. “Ruthie, I want to take you out to Cameron Zoo and after that we can have a picnic in the park if that’s ok?”
“Sounds like fun,” she said, thinking as she did, I wish Jerry would call me Ruth.
“Just don’t be out too late son,” his dad reminded, “with graduation and all tomorrow…”
“I won’t dad. I’ll have Ruth back here no later than 9:00”
Just then, Jerry’s aunt came to the door. “You mentioned wanting to have a picnic,” she said, handing Jerry a basket, “this should take care of you kids.”
“Thanks,” Jerry said as he and Ruth turned and walked to the car.
As they drove away Jerry looked at his watch. “It’s only 9:30, plenty of time to go to the zoo and see something special before lunch.”
“Special? What in the world are you up to Jerry Spencer?” she asked, mimicking seriousness.
“You’ll see. For now let’s just say you’re going to meet El Rey de la Montana.”
“I don’t understand Spanish.
“Me neither, not much at least, only that those words mean king of the mountain.”
“Oh, I see. That explains everything,” she said sarcastically as they entered the zoo’s parking lot.
Inside the zoo proper, Jerry led Ruth to a bench where they sat while he explained his mention of El Rey de la Montana. “That’s what people in the Amazon call a certain species of bird called a king vulture. The zoo has an Amazon jungle exhibit that includes all sorts of wild animals; vultures, monkeys, two-toed sloths and jaguars just to name a few.”
“Jaguars!” A jolt of fear shot through Ruth at the mention of the dreaded beast of her dreams.
“Yeah, but don’t worry Ruthie, they’ll either be in cages or behind thick glass so they can’t get at us.”
“Speaking of jaguars and jungles, after I came here I started looking for a copy of that book you’ve always been so interested in.”
“Beyond the Far Horizon?”
“Yeah, that’s the one all about the girl who married a wildlife photographer and traveled with him around the world to jungles and all.”
“Did you find it, and if you did have you read it?” She hoped his answer was yes. If it’s yes, he’s probably had the same weird experiences reading it as I.
“Yes and yes,” he replied. “I finally found one in a used bookstore and have already read it through. In fact, I’ve re-read several times the chapter about the Amazon jungle and its people.”
He paused before dredging up an observation he’d made while reading the book. “What about that full page picture of the Shaman?” As he reflected on the sad faced man, his voice trailed away as if he did not expect a response from Ruth, but was only verbalizing a private thought. “Kinda gives you the willies how he stares off the page at you as if reading your mind or waiting for you to answer a question. “Well anyway,” he said, moving on, “that character gives me the creeps.”
“I know,” was all Ruth could manage in response since she had never discussed the more horrific details of her vision while in the coma. She knew her folks thought she would feel better if she did, but rather than being pushy, they patiently waited for her to speak to them in her own good time. She tried to talk about it with her dad once, but like just now, at the mention of the jaguar, all he could say was “I know,” as he turned away to hide his discomfort before changing the subject.
Just as advertised in the zoo’s brochure, the Amazon exhibit was a realistic reproduction of jungle habitat complete with a trail overshadowed and bordered by all manner of ferns and trees. Along the trail, cages and fenced in enclosures were positioned so that patrons could watch the animals in a natural setting. To Ruth, the habitat made her feel uncomfortable and steadily more so as they rounded a corner to find the trail ahead blocked by a wall of thick glass.
I don’t want to be a wet blanket. Jerry has gone to such trouble to make this a fun experience. She struggled to put on a happy face, fearing at the same time her walk down this trail would end just as her vision walk, confronting a beast intent on killing her.
Beyond the barrier, Ruth saw birds flying from tree to tree and monkeys scampering limb to limb. A brass sign below the glass read: “There is a jaguar here. They frequent the shadows during hot afternoons and their camouflaged coats make them hard to see. One is probably looking at you now. Can you spot it?”
The jaguar…hiding in the shadows…about to spring. Her mind froze when she remembered its snarling threat: “I’ll eat your liver before your eyes.”
“Look Ruthie.” Jerry’s voice called her away from her dark thoughts as he pointed. “See, up there…the branch over the clearing. Its leaves are moving. Something…” Jerry had no time to describe what the something was because just then a jaguar right out of her nightmare sprang from the branch into the clearing, crept up to the glass, settled on its haunches, and fixed its cold, pitiless eyes at her.
“Wow, would you look at that,” Jerry said, excited at seeing the dramatic display of the jaguar’s instincts. Ruth, however, saw more, much more than animal instinct on display. Its migration out of her dreams into reality confirmed her darkest fears. This beast whose whirlpool eyes were drawing her deeper and deeper into themselves was bent on destroying her, those she loved, and the plans God had for her life.
She wanted to scream but could not. It was as if by a look, the beast had robbed her of her voice. Now she felt the same look was drawing her closer and closer to the glass partition until her head and that of the jaguar were only inches apart. Those eyes, drawing me down the vision trail to the pillars, to the meadow, and to death beyond. Her head spun as she felt herself slip into darkness.
“Honey…Are you alright?” In the darkness she heard a woman’s voice and felt arms about her lifting her up…up.
She opened her eyes, dazzled a moment by the sun, then held out her hand and took a glass of water offered by the woman she sensed had just spoken. “Thank goodness you’re ok dear,” the woman said obviously relieved.
She felt a hand squeeze hers. Jerry’s, she realized.
“I don’t know what happened to you Ruthie,” he said. “One moment you were looking at the jaguar and the next…”
“I know,” she said groggily, “I must have fainted,” and added a wish she had never expressed before. “Jerry, please don’t call me Ruthie.”
“What?”
“Never mind, I’ll explain later,” she said as she took Jerry’s hand and let him help her to her feet.
“Jerry did you see or feel anything strange just before I fainted?” Ruth asked as her dark blue eyes probed his. They had found a large tree in the park near the cliff called lovers leap, spread a blanket and just finished off the last of the pimento cheese sandwiches Jerry’s aunt had prepared when Ruth broke the lingering silence with her question.
“The only thing I noticed, except for the jaguar acting like a jaguar, was what looked like his special interest in you. Others stood around us at the glass partition, but for some reason he seemed to take no notice of anyone but you. As he moved closer and closer to the glass you did too until you were almost eye-to-eye. That was when you started to fall and this lady caught you and several of the men helped me carry you outside.”
“Are you sure that’s all you remember Jerry?”
“Ruthie!” There was exasperation in his voice. “Tell me what’s going on? What am I supposed to have heard or seen? Are you still grieving over Miss Minnie, Timmy, everything…?”
“Everything? What do you mean by everything?”
“Everything you’ve never told me, probably have never told anyone, about your interest in that book, your coma, the jaguar, everything.”
He reached and took Ruth’s hand and drew her closer. “Open up Ruthie. You’re the most special girl in the world to me but I can’t help you unless you level with me.”
“Am I really Jerry?”
“Are you really what, Ruthie?”
“Am I really the most special girl in the world to you?”
Jerry pulled Ruth closer and looked into her eyes as his lips found hers in a long lingering kiss. “If you don’t know by now you never will Ruthie. You’re a lot more than just special. You’re the…”
Her kiss blotted his words before he could finish.
“I’ve always hoped I was, she said, I know you’ve always been more than special to me.” Ruth felt a load of uncertainty lift and for the first time since she discovered the book, Beyond the Far Horizon, felt she could share her strange experiences with someone without them thinking she was crazy.
For the next several hours, she told Jerry everything about her out of body experience when she first traced the sign on the Shaman’s bench, and the pity she felt for the Shaman when she looked into his eyes. “Eyes that seemed to say he was searching for something and sad because he hadn’t found it,” she said.
She described her dream visions in the church, the children’s Christmas program and Tim’s altar call and a young Miss Minnie on the platform calling for Tim to follow her.
She told of finding herself on a jungle trail, much like the one today at the zoo, and Tim and Miss Minnie in a field of yellow flowers calling her to follow them beyond the stone pillars, “ to death I thought,” she said and shivered.
She described the jaguar threatening to kill her. “His eyes were so full of hate; just like the one today that seemed to have stepped out of my dreams and was following me.”
“Well, that explains at least your reaction today,” Jerry interjected.
“Yes, but I think there is more to it than just being reminded of my dream. ” She pulled Jerry close again. “Since I became a Christian I’ve had a feeling my visions in the coma were God’s way of preparing me for something.” She felt Jerry’s body stiffen.
“And the devil, the jaguar, whatever, is trying to stop you?”
“Maybe,” she said putting her head on his shoulder.
“Preparing you for what Ruthie?”
“I’m not sure, but I keep remembering the natives in my vision and their begging me not to leave without them.”
“Are you telling me you think God may want you to be a missionary? I always hoped that whatever we did we could do together.”
“Me too Jerry,” she said squeezing him tightly. “Only…” Her voice trailed away.
“Only I’m not a Christian so that leaves me out, right?”
Ruth felt tears welling as their eyes met. “It wouldn’t have to Jerry if only…”
“If only I’d accept Jesus? Ruthie, I wish I could as easily as those people the missionaries describe.
“I remember them coming to our church and telling of all the people who become Christians through their preaching. Well, I’ve heard preaching all my life. Why does it seem so natural for them to believe in Jesus and so hard for me?”
Ruth had no ready answer, but wished she could ease the pain she heard in his voice.
Jerry had not waited for Ruth to respond anyway, but had gotten up and walked over to the high bluff overlooking the Brazos river. It was getting late and the setting sun cast a golden highway across the water.
Ruth got up, joined him, and for some time neither spoke.
Finally Jerry said, “They call this bluff ‘lovers leap’ because of the legend that here, an Indian princess of the Waco tribe and her sweetheart, a brave from the enemy Apache tribe, leaped to their deaths rather than letting their tribes separate them.”
Jerry turned and kissed Ruth again. “You seem so sure that God has a purpose for your life,” he said.
“Not just for me, but for both of us,” she said as she laid her head again on his shoulder.
“I want to believe, I really do,” he finally said wistfully. “But not just to please you but because I really mean it.”
“I’ll never stop praying you will, that Christ will become as real to you as He is to me,” she whispered.
“And that we’ll always be together…that nothing will ever separate us?”
“I’ll pray nothing will ever separate us from our love for each other,” she said, “and that it will be God’s will we always be together.”
“Don’t ever stop Ruthie,” he said as they walked to the car.
When they got in the car Jerry took Ruth in his arms and kissed her one last time, “No matter what God’s plans may be, I’ll always love you Ruthie, and always be there for you.”