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Magnolia
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I STOP IN FRONT OF my old condo and ring the doorbell, looking sternly at Frank who’s standing by my side, still attached to his leash.
“I know you miss Jen, Frankie. But we’ve talked about this. Don’t do anything to embarrass Mommy, like pee on Auntie Gemma’s carpet or hump her teddy bear collection. We’re gonna be on best behavior today, right?”
Frank looks at me rather sheepishly, one of his perky ears flopping down awkwardly, which is a nervous tick of his every time he thinks he’s in trouble.
Last time we were here he did the two things I just warned him against; he peed on Gemma’s new expensive oriental rug and then stole one of the teddy bears Jen’s girlfriend keeps on my old bed and began to hump it frantically.
“Hey Mags, Frankie boy!” Gemma is the one who opens the door, looking pretty in a set of yoga pants and an emerald green tunic that hugs her toned curves in all the right places. “You can use your keys, Mags, you know? Jennie and I don’t mind.”
I smile at my bestie’s girlfriend. Gemma and I work together at Silver Springs Memorial where she’s doing her residency and after a somewhat rocky start, when I thought that she liked Porter, we became really good friends. I couldn’t be more delighted that her relationship with Jen is going well, I can see how happy Gemma makes my bestie and I can’t help but love her for it.
I follow Gemma into the living room with Frank still on the leash but as soon as we advance into the room, the puppy pulls sharply on it and I let it go mostly out of surprise.
“Mother of pearl! Frank, what the heck’s gotten into you?” I squeal chasing my dog all the way into the kitchen where Jen is standing by the fridge, looking up.
“Come on, Shreddie, come down. Just be a good kitty and don’t make Mommy beg.”
I follow her gaze and spot a long haired, grey cat with white socks that’s perched up on top of the fridge. The creature is looking down at us, lazily moving her long tail and meowing, through narrowed eyes.
“Who’s that?” I ask.
“Hey babe.” Jen hugs me tight before explaining. “Gemma and I decided we needed to start a family, so we rescued a cat. Remember the cat shelter down by the ice cream factory? That’s where we got Shreddie last week. The poor thing has some trust issues though, and prefers to stay perched on top of furniture and out of our way. She only comes down to eat, but just if no one’s around.”
“That’s an interesting name, Shreddie?”
Jen explains, “Well, her original name is Shrödinger’s cat,”
“That’s quite a mouthful.” I observe.
“She was owned by a retired physicist who couldn’t take her with him to the nursing home. Plus, the first thing she did when we brought her home was to claw every soft piece of furniture and the living room curtains, shredding them quite badly. So we think that Shreddie really fits her.”
I giggle at the witty name but the laughter dies in my throat when a deep howl breaks the silence in the kitchen.
“Frank?”
I look at my puppy, bewildered that a tiny, sweet looking creature like him could emit such a feral noise. Frank howls again, standing on his hind legs and perching himself up on the fridge door to try and get a better look at the cat.
“What’s up, little dude?” Jen asks, “Never seen a cat before?”
I think about it and muse, “You know what, Jennie? I don’t think he’s actually been this close to a cat yet.”
“Meow ...” Shreddie taunts Frank, causing him to howl desperately, wagging his tail at the feline.
I crouch down, petting my puppy’s head. “Frankie boy, I don’t think that kitty wants to be your friend. She’s new to the house and maybe she’s scared. Just let her be for now, let’s go, Jennie can’t wait to give you a cuddle.”
Frank doesn’t take any notice of me and keeps his attention focused on the cat, trying to jump as high as he can, but obviously he doesn’t realize that he has no chance of reaching Shreddie.
“Hey Frankie, look what I’ve got for you, your favorite chewy chewy.” Jen attempts to coax him with his favorite treats but my dog is so obsessed with the new, exotic creature on top of the fridge, that not even appealing to his gluttony works.
In the end, we decide to leave the two animals to their own devices because really, there’s no chance for Frank to ever reach the cat and we aren’t worried about any potential scuffle.
“Wow Jennie, that’s a real feast!” I gush at the gorgeous spread on the dining room table.
There’s an asparagus and cherry tomato frittata, slices of cantaloupe wrapped in prosciutto and a fluffy red onion and rosemary focaccia.
“I’m not the one you should thank, babe. I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Gemma isn’t just smoking hot, she’s also an amazing cook.”
I love the way my bestie looks at her girlfriend and the look of adoration Gemma gives her in return.
“So,” I say putting down my fork after a delicious lunch dominated by Jen’s tale of a shipment of dildos gone wrong at the Magical Rooster. “You two have been dating for six months now. You’ve got Shreddie, I’m so happy to see that things are working between you.”
Gemma smiles, blushing at my remark. “Cronuts! I almost forgot the cronuts! I went to Buttercup’s bakery especially to get your favorite treat, Mags.” She gets up, running to the kitchen, looking rather nervous and I look at Jen.
“Is she all right? She seems really flustered all of a sudden. Did I say something wrong? Things are going well between you, right?”
Jen nods, blushing too. What the heck is going on? My bestie is normally one of the most confident, unflappable people you can come across, so for a second I really worry that something’s amiss.
Especially when she excuses herself to go help Gemma with the cronuts.
I mean, how many girls does it take to plate a cronut? Seriously.
“Ok,” Jen says appearing back in the dining room with Gemma at her side. “There’s a reason why we asked you here to lunch today. There’s something Gemma and I would like to ask you.”
The two women are standing in the dining room with their hands behind their backs, both looking increasingly more flustered.
Shiitake Mushrooms! Jen told me that Gemma used to have a crush on me when I first started at Silver Springs Memorial and that once she drunkenly said that she’d have loved a threesome with me and Jen.
Now she’s looking at me with hopeful brown eyes, almost reminding me of Frank when he begs for a treat.
“Uhm girls, I—”
Both women put their left hands forward showing me two sparkling diamond rings.
I squeal jumping off of my chair, a little bit because of the surprise and a little bit out of relief that they aren’t asking me to have sex with them. Not that I don’t think that they’re gorgeous but when it comes to the old horizontal mambo, I’m afraid that I’m as straight as an arrow.
“Magnolia Marie Kinsella,” Jen says solemnly, smiling from ear to ear. “Will you be our maid of honor?”
“Omg, yes!” I shout, hugging my bestie and her fiancée and jumping around like a maniac with them in tow. “One bajillion times yes!”
When we finally calm down, I admire their engagement rings. They’re both large diamonds, mounted in platinum bands. The difference is in the cut. Jen’s ring is a drop or pear shape while Gemma’s is a rectangular princess cut.
“They’re beautiful! Congratulations, girls. So have you got a date for the wedding?”
Jen nods. “In exactly three months, Mags. I’ve always wanted to be a May bride and spring is my favorite season in Silver Springs.”
“So you’re getting married here in town?”
Gemma explains that it’s easier that way, since both girls are locals. “We’ll leave the exotic locations for our honeymoon but I’m super excited about spending the rest of my life with the most beautiful, most perfect woman in the whole world.”
Gosh, I love the way Gemma looks at my bestie! I know those two will make each other incredibly happy.
But the surprises for today aren’t over. When I ask them about where the ceremony will take place, the couple informs me that they’ll get married right here in the backyard but they asked Debbie if they could have their engagement party in her backyard. “It’s where we first met and we thought it’d be so romantic to get engaged there. Debbie was very excited to help us, so that’s been pretty easy. We’re deciding on a catering company for the wedding and we need to find someone to officiate. Neither of us is religious, so we’re weighing our options.”
We chat about wedding details and the time flies so quickly that I only realize how long I’ve been sitting in my old condo, when my phone pings with three text messages, one from each of my men. Dinner’s ready and they’re wondering where Frank and I are at.
“I have to go, Jennie. Max is making lasagna and I can’t miss it. I’ll see you at the weekend, ok? We can go out for a coffee and talk about your engagement party and my bridesmaid dress. I’m so frigging excited!” I rise from my seat and walk toward the kitchen to retrieve Frank, suddenly worried about the silence coming from the room.
There’s no more howling nor meowing to be heard but nothing could prepare me for the scene that awaits me as I enter my old kitchen.
Frank and Shreddie are asleep in the cat’s bed, both balled up like two fuzzy donuts, their little noses touching sweetly.
“Aww, look at them! They made friends,” I comment, making Jen sigh with relief.
“Babe, could you leave Frank here for a couple of days? Seriously I haven’t seen that cat leave the top of the fridge unless it was to cause destruction around the house. It seems that Frankie calmed her down.”
I agree to leave Frank with her, amused at how my puppy seems to be enamored with the little grey feline.