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Magnolia
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SUGAR. HONEY. ICE. Tea!
I really need to talk to the guys. There’s something they need to know before we tie the knot. I grab my cell phone, frantically typing a text message before my jail wardens, ehm Mom and Jen, catch me.
Magnolia: hey guys, can I come to see you? There’s something I need to ask you—
“What do you think you’re doing, young lady?” Mom appears behind me and I smile at her reflection in the huge mirror of the vanity in Kyoko-San’s bedroom.
Kyoko-San insisted that I make this my bridal suite after not only insisting on pampering me and all the bridal party last night with a free stay in the spa part of the Katsura Gardens but her and Hiroshi are catering the whole wedding and have stubbornly refused to take a single cent for it.
“You’re already late, everyone is downstairs waiting for the ceremony to begin,” she scolds me.
“I know and I’m ready, but I just need one second to talk to the guys and—”
“Nonsense!” Mom snaps. “Are you insane? It’s bad luck for your grooms to see you before the wedding. And in your wedding dress, no less!”
“But we’re literally about to get married in like ... five minutes. I just need to talk to them and then I swear—”
My objection falls on deaf ears. “Magnolia Marie Kinsella! Give me that phone right this second!”
I look at her extended hand. Sweet Jesus, for one second she reminded me of when I was a teen and I got grounded.
I try arguing. “But Mom—”
She takes the phone away from me and after fussing with my veil one last time, she heads out of the room with one last warning. “Your father is just outside the door, waiting to walk you down the aisle. Don’t keep people waiting, darling. That’s extremely rude.”
I groan as the door closes with a click. I don’t know which version of Mom I find more intimidating, the one I just saw, the one I grew up with or the sex crazed version she’s been the rest of the time since she admitted to her ... proclivities.
However, I really need to talk to the guys before we get married and I don’t believe all the superstitions about them seeing me before the wedding. Plus, this is the wedding.
There’s one last obstacle between me and the room where they’re getting ready, my Dad. But I have a plan to get rid of Richard Kinsella, I know just the way to make sure he runs as far away from me as he can.
“Dad?” I whisper-yell as I crack the door open.
“Yes, sweetie pie?”
I make eye contact to get the maximum effect, “I need your help, Daddy. I ... I just got my period and I realized that I didn’t bring any tampons. I know Jennie always has some in her purse. Could you go get me one? I don’t want to mess up my dress—”
His eyes widen as redness starts to appear on his cheeks as he begins babbling and retreating toward the stairs. “Yeah, sure. I— I’ll send Jen ...”
Done! God bless him, it’s a little ridiculous in this day and age but Dad simply can’t handle what he calls “women stuff”.
I think one day I’ll go to hell for torturing my father like this but I just bought myself about five minutes before Mom gets back here. So I don’t hesitate and sneak out of the room, taking with me the train of my dress and the long veil.
Mother of Pearl, why in the world did I let Mom and Jen convince me to pick something so hard to move in? I know I look like a princess but there’s so much dress that I fear getting stuck or tripping with every step.
I knock on the door where I know the grooms are getting ready, hoping that they aren’t already downstairs.
“Yeah, yeah, Harriet. We’re almost— Trouble? What are you doing here? Are you ok? And oh fuck! I shouldn’t even look at you, it’s bad luck!”
I gently push Blake to the side and sneak into the room, letting my fiancé close the door behind me.
What did I just say about how annoying my dress and the long veil are? “Blake, babe ... you shut my train out.”
Blake opens his eyes with a gasp. “Oh, shit! Sorry sweetheart.”
Once I’m completely inside the room, I stop to look at my three men. I’m breathless for a second because believe me, if they’re hot in their everyday clothes, they’re the epitome of stunning perfection in their tuxedos.
“Thank God you’re not already downstairs.” I sigh, tightening my fingers on my huge bouquet. “We need to talk.”
The energy in the room changes completely at those words. The guys freeze. No one says anything for a moment, until Max breaks the silence. “Baby, is everything ok? Please don’t tell us that you changed your mind about marrying us?”
Porter intervenes, “Are you breaking up with us?”
Blake takes a step in my direction but stops just short of touching me, his blue eyes shining with concern. “Please don’t tell me that you decided to choose. That you just want one of us.”
I put them out of their misery, maybe in retrospective I shouldn’t have led with “we need to talk”.
“No guys, I still love all three of you and I still want to marry you but I don’t know if after I tell you what I came here to say, you’ll feel differently about ... this.”
I gesture between the four of us and Porter, always the practical one, pushes a plush chair toward me, helping me sit down and arranging my dress. When he speaks, his voice is soft, soothing. “Magnolia, I think I’m talking for the three of us when I say that there’s nothing, nothing that could make us not marry the shit out of you today.”
Blake nods I’m agreement. “And there’s also nothing you can’t say to us Trouble. So at the risk of sounding dorky, what’s troubling you?”
Now, I don’t know about you but when I’m nervous, I tend to answer questions with another question but there’s something I want to know before I spill the beans. “Talking about choices, you guys never told me who’s going to be the one who’s going to take one for the team and whose last name I’m taking?”
Max clears his throat. “That would be me, Baby.”
His dark blue eyes are full of emotion and truth be told, I’m so happy that I could cry. But really, I would feel the same way whomever was the chosen one. I really can’t choose between these amazing three men.
“Ok,” I utter, trying to find the best way to explain what I came here to say. “How did you decide?”
See? I told ya. I’m nervous and it’s like a game of twenty questions in here.
Max flinches for a second. “Does it matter? Would you rather it be Blake or Porter?”
Maybe I’m not the only one who asks questions when she’s stressed? Darn, I did it again. Sorry.
“No, no but I—”
Porter intervenes. “I’m sorry it’s not more romantic, we played for it.”
“Rock, paper, scissors?” Yup, I won’t quit asking questions.
“Yeah. We were planning to count the times we’d come to your rescue, Trouble. But lately, you’ve been ... different. We just realized that since the night we got engaged, you’ve been less ...”
He blushes, looking for the right word. This is another one of the bajillion reasons why I adore my guys. Trust me in my twenty-three years on this planet, I’ve been called klutzy, graceless, uncoordinated, a natural calamity. You name it. But the guys have never used any derogatory term to describe my tendency for disaster.
So I come to Blake’s rescue. “I’ve been a bit steadier and more focused?”
Max smiles. “Yes, you have. You’ve even helped us a few times. Is that what it is about, Baby? That we’ve been a little more accident prone lately? We were just saying that last night, after Blake almost killed Burlington.”
Blake punches him jokingly on one bicep. “Stop being so dramatic, you dipshit. It was just a little graze and it was an accident. You almost blinded Hiroshi with your ketchup.”
I giggle at the way they play-fight, I love their banter.
“No, guys. How could I ever have a problem with a few minor incidents after the countless times you saved me from my constant disasters? No, I couldn’t love you guys more than I do and I can’t wait to marry the three of you.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
I look at Porter and answer him with a partial truth. “Something’s changed. And I don’t know if that will make you rethink what we’re about to do.”
The guys look at one another before zeroing their gazes on me. Once again, Porter speaks for the three of them. “We’re pretty sure that nothing you could say would change our minds. What is it, Magnolia?”
I tighten my grasp on my bouquet so tightly that my knuckles turn white. “I became suspicious because I did notice that I was strangely too focused. Trust me when you mess up once an hour like me, you notice when suddenly you start getting things right. And I’ve been feeling strange. Tired and a little more sensitive than normal. So then I got a text from my app and then I—”
I’m gripping the bouquet so tightly that the dang thing decides to slip out of my grasp as if it had a spring mechanism or something.
My bouquet of white lilies and pale pink roses lands on the hardwood floor with a resounding thud and sure enough, a plastic stick slips out from in between the flowers, skittering on the floor until it comes to a complete stop by Max’s feet.
I swear to God, the proverbial pin could be heard dropping in the room right now. The guys are all staring at the + sign on the reading window of my pregnancy test – one of many I’ve done since my period app told me that I missed two periods. And before y’all think that I was too distracted as usual and didn’t notice last month ... I got a new phone and the app didn’t update until yesterday.
Porter is the first one to find his voice. “Magnolia ... is this? Are you—?”
I nod, lifting my gaze to meet each of theirs. And holy dill pickles with chocolate ice cream – don’t judge me, I’ve been having really odd cravings and I guess now I know why – if their looks don’t make a wave of heat travel down my spine, making my nipples harden in my lace wedding dress and my knees go weak. But I guess that’s predictable, isn’t it? After all, that’s how I got knocked up in first place. By not being able to resist these three men every time one of them so much as looks at me. All three at the same time? No chance in hell.
“Yes. I just thought you guys should know before we do this.” With this I obviously mean say “I do”.
Max’s blue eyes darken. “Baby, this is ... awesome news. But why do you look so worried? Are you ok?”
I explain what’s troubling me. “I don’t know. Doesn’t this change things between us? I mean, I don’t know who’s the father. I traced things back to Jen’s wedding weekend. After you guys proposed we were together, the four of us. And after we all got arrested we spent another night together and with all the commotion and tiredness and my parents being here, I didn’t realize that I forgot a couple of pills. Anyway, I was planning to take two boxes without break because I had calculated that if I’d let myself have a period, it would have come today. And I didn’t want to ... You know, white dress and all. I kept taking the pills and thought that was why I wasn’t getting a period. But then I started feeling so strange. The laser focus, the tiredness, the cravings.”
Porter takes my hand and brings my knuckles to his lips. “Magnolia, this is amazing. It’s the best news. But before we leave for our honeymoon, I want to get you checked at the hospital to make sure you and the baby are fine.”
Blake kneels at my feet, bringing his gaze level with mine. He runs a hand softly across my cheekbone, ever so careful not to ruin my makeup. “Trouble, I can’t tell you how excited I am that we’ll have a mini Trouble to keep us all on our toes. But can I ask you why you look so worried? When you came in here, I thought you were going to call off the wedding or something.”
Max goes down on one knee at my other side. “Blake’s right. You still look worried. What’s wrong, Baby? Please tell me that you still want to marry us?”
“I do, I really do. I just thought that you guys might not want to. That you’d have a problem with not knowing who’s the father. You know, if I’m going to be Mrs. McCall, the baby will have the same name and—”
“Magnolia,” all three guys interrupt in unison. Then Max is the one who explains how they feel after Blake and Porter nod with their usual silent communication.
“Baby, does it matter to you who’s the biological father? Because I can guarantee you that it doesn’t matter to us. We’re all the father as far as we’re concerned. We just can’t wait to meet him or her and love them and protect them. Like we love and protect you. And it will be the same with any other children we have. The last name they’ll have doesn’t matter, trust us.”
I look at each of them and all I find in their eyes is the same certainty and the same love I feel in my own heart.
Max offers me his hand, helping me rise from my chair. “Plus, we have a little surprise for you and for everyone else. Come on Baby, let’s do this.”