HANNA

10.15 A.M.

The children were standing in a group in the playground, moving restlessly back and forth and egging each other on. These power games — which is what they called it at the school — had gotten out of control. These rituals, involving insults, violence, and humiliation, were proving hard to put a stop to. At the teachers’ meeting last Sunday they’d watched a film in which three teenagers assaulted a boy. The teens spat on him and kicked him as he lay on the ground, pleading for his life. Someone had filmed it all and posted it on various forums on the internet, and the clip had gotten an alarming number of views. The police hadn’t identified anyone yet and had explained that what had taken place on the film was not particularly unusual. Hanna was afraid that if someone didn’t put a stop to it soon, someone would die — and she couldn’t bear the thought that one of the children in the film could be her son.

Where was Alice? Hanna scanned the yard. She spun around, her pulse rising. ‘Alice! Where are you? I can’t see you. Come out now, please!’

Why couldn’t she keep better track of her daughter? She wiped away the sweat and dust from her forehead. Strands of hair were sticking to her face, and she pulled her long, thick hair into a bun before hurrying over to the sandbox. If she’s not there, I’ll call for help, she thought, stumbling on the dry gravel. When she pulled up the lid, a pair of big eyes were looking up at her. That sweet, doll-like little face looked so serious, and Hanna had a strange vision of who Alice would be as an adult.

‘What are you doing, Mum? Close the lid!’

‘You mustn’t disappear like that. Get up, now!’ Hanna took hold of her arm and pulled her out of the sandbox, even though Alice was struggling against it.

‘The others will see …’ Alice kicked her legs. ‘Let me go!’

‘When I call, you have to come right away — do you hear me?’

Alice was an expert at disappearing, and recently, it had got worse — she had started doing things she’d never done before. Hanna couldn’t deal with more worry; she got enough of that with Karl.

‘Sorry, Mummy, but I had to …’ Alice wrinkled up her face, like she always did before she started crying. Her eyes filled with tears.

As usual, it pierced Hanna right in the heart.

‘No, I’m the one who should be sorry.’ She tried to smile. She pulled Alice to her and burrowed her face in that neck, between her two braids. ‘I didn’t mean to yank you like that; I don’t know what’s up with me. Sorry, honey. What are you playing?’

Her daughter quickly pulled out of her embrace. ‘Nothing.’

‘You know you can tell me everything.’

‘It’s nothing.’ Alice ran away to join the other kids in the playground.

Karl was standing in the middle of the group, glaring at her with his clear blue eyes — eyes that he’d inherited from his dad. He was one of the oldest kids at the school now and was almost a head taller than the other children. Children of all ages looked up to him and gathered around him.

Should Hanna go up to them so she could hear what was going on, or would that just make things worse? They had enough problems as it was. Her anxiety was growing, keeping pace with the headache she’d got after yesterday’s copious intake of wine.

She swept her eyes slowly across the gravel-covered yard and the beautiful, old school, with its red wood and white gingerbread-house cornices — she’d fallen in love with it the first time she saw it.

The air was still, and the pennant on the school’s flagpole was hanging slack. The forest behind the school suddenly seemed dark and threatening. Hanna’s eyes were drawn to the cars passing through Stentuna at much too high a speed, down on the highway. The sound of the children shrieking and laughing settled to a dim murmur in the background. Her heart was racing, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching her.

‘Ouch!’ She whirled around when someone pinched her on the bottom. ‘Stop, Johan. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’ The gaps in her memory from yesterday began to fill in one by one, and she wished she could rewind the tape. She really shouldn’t have drunk that much wine, much less let herself be seduced.

‘Don’t swear now, the children can hear you.’ He grinned.

Hanna looked at him with distaste. ‘Stop that! You are not allowed to touch me. Don’t you realise the kids will see? You want them to grow up thinking that guys can behave that way to girls? As principal, you have a responsibility.’ She couldn’t believe that she had to spell it out for him.

‘Hey, hey now, let’s just take it easy — yesterday, you were singing quite a different tune. Yeah, just imagine how terrible it would be if they were to grow up and be like me. Big, mean Johan.’ He flexed his muscles.

‘I could report you for sexual harassment.’ Her cheeks flushed, and she had to make an effort to control herself.

‘Yep, you do that.’ His grin was even broader. ‘Stand up for your rights. Go into battle. Take a few of the other red-stockings from the teachers’ lounge with you, while you’re at it. What are they doing now?’ He nodded towards the children, suddenly sounding serious.

‘I don’t know, but I don’t like it. Alice seemed scared to death, and was hiding in the sandbox just now.’

‘Just because Alice is your daughter doesn’t mean that she’s the only one you should be looking out for.’

Hanna nodded. She knew he was right, just as he ought to know by now that it wasn’t something he needed to clarify. Working as a teacher in the same village where you lived meant there was a significant risk of having your child as a pupil, and sometimes that could be a bit complicated. Most often, it was Alice who drew the short end of the stick and got the least attention, while Hanna did everything she could to make sure that the other children and parents wouldn’t think she was favouring her own daughter. Whatever she did, it turned out wrong. It had been the same with Karl when he was in primary school. Though it was hard to think about, Hanna knew it had badly affected their relationship — and that that was when Karl had started to distance himself from her. Maybe he saw her more as a teacher than a mother, and that was probably why she tried so hard not to make the same mistake with Alice.

‘It was good we had a meeting yesterday,’ she said. ‘We have to invite the parents in, too — as soon as possible.’

Johan nodded. ‘It’s terrible about that murder, by the way. Did you see anything? Since it was right where you live?’

Hanna didn’t reply, and kept her attention on the children, who were getting more and more rowdy. The atmosphere in the playground felt almost hateful.

‘Just say the word if you want me to come and watch over you when your husband is away from home — he certainly wasn’t home yesterday, was he?’ Johan patted her on the side and puffed out his chest. His physical size was as big as his ego, and he always did exactly what he wanted. For him, life was one big buffet, where you got to take what you wanted, when you wanted. ‘So, did you see anything?’ he asked.

‘No, just the barricades and the car this morning.’

Before Johan had time to say anything else, she rang the bell she was holding in her hand.

‘What are you doing?’ He looked at the clock. ‘Recess isn’t over yet — there’s five minutes left.’

It didn’t matter, she wanted to go in — it didn’t feel safe out here, and it was time to separate the children. ‘Recess is over now — I want to see everyone inside!’ she called, continuing to ring the bell while she scanned the playground.

The feeling that someone was observing her still lingered. She tried to tell herself that it was just her imagination, but what if it wasn’t?

She would call Stoffe as soon as she could speak to him undisturbed. She’d barely had time to talk to him after the police had come by asking questions that morning. At first, when they’d told them about the murdered woman, Hanna hadn’t known what to say or how she ought to react. But the lie that had followed had come quite naturally. The children had answered their questions shyly, and she’d thanked the gods that they didn’t say any more than they did.

Hopefully, Stoffe would come home this evening — but maybe everything had changed now? They had to be careful, keep their distance.

Hanna held open the door for the children and counted them as they ran in. Several times she lost track and was forced to start over once they were all assembled in the cloakroom.

Some boys lifted up her tunic. ‘Ha ha, we saw your tits.’

‘You have bigger tits than my mum.’

They were laughing.

When yet another kid pulled up her tunic, she let out a yell — much too loud, and there was an obvious quiver in her voice.

Hanna saw Alice withdraw to a corner, and she took a deep breath. ‘Come on, go in and take your seats.’

Before she closed the door, she glanced out over the playground one last time. Empty.

She locked the front door and went into the cool classroom.