ELLEN

2.15 P.M.

Ellen took water from her glass and splashed Carola’s face. She tried to straighten her up, but that was difficult. ‘Carola, wake up.’ She patted her on the cheek and saw that her pupils were rolling backwards. ‘Does anyone here know first aid?’ she called. Ellen cursed herself for not having taken the courses they offered at work. Carola’s lips were turning blue. ‘She’s not getting any air!’ Ellen screamed.

‘The ambulance is on its way,’ one of the waiters said, who realised the acuteness of the situation and helped Ellen to stretch Carola out on the floor. She was pale as a corpse and lifeless, her mouth hanging open. She was breathing, but it was extremely laboured. Ellen sought to remove the knit jumper, and then she saw the bruises on Carola’s chest.

After a few seconds, a woman came out of the kitchen and pulled Ellen out of the way. In turns, they worked at chest compression and artificial respiration, but Carola showed no signs of life.

Minute after minute passed. Carola remained unresponsive.

‘She has a pulse. I think,’ the woman from the kitchen said.

Even though it only took a few minutes for the ambulance to reach the scene, it felt like an eternity.

The emergency medical technicians helped Carola with breathing, gave her oxygen, and tried to talk to her, and then they lifted her up onto a stretcher.

Carola woke up, and after a few moments of hyperventilation, she started to breathe more calmly, and it was possible to communicate with her. She complained again about chest pains. The EMTs decided to take her in for observation.

Ellen didn’t really know what she ought to do, but decided to follow them to the hospital.

Once inside Saint Göran, Carola was given a private room where they monitored her heart rhythm and oxygen saturation in the blood. It was still unclear what had caused the attack, but the doctor Ellen spoke to thought it was stress-related. The worst danger was over, anyway.

Ellen didn’t really know where she should be, but felt that she couldn’t leave Carola alone. Even though they hardly knew each other, Ellen suddenly knew so much about her. For example, that she weighed seventy-five kilograms. Ellen didn’t think she looked like she weighed that much. It must be muscle, she decided. She also found out which medications Carola took, that she had problems with her stomach, and so on. Ellen had tried not to listen, but it was hard to block out.

‘Can you close the curtain? The sunlight’s hurting my eyes,’ Carola said.

Ellen did as she was asked, and then sat down on a stool beside the bed.

‘Thanks.’

‘I’m not the one you should thank. God, I didn’t do anything.’

‘You didn’t have to come here,’ said Carola. ‘I’m probably in no danger.’

Ellen didn’t know if she should be honest about how serious it had actually appeared to be.

‘You have to take care of yourself. If it’s stress, then that’s not something to take lightly. Has anything in particular happened recently?’ Ellen had a hard time believing that it would only be work-related.

Carola shook her head. ‘I don’t know. Life. It catches up with you.’

‘Do you want me to call anyone? Your children?’

‘I don’t have any children.’ She fixed her eyes on the ceiling.

‘What? But you said that …’

‘I was lying. I didn’t think you would have understood my situation if I’d said I was single with no children. Who cares if someone like me thinks the job is stressful?’

Ellen felt confused and wondered if there was something to what Carola was saying, and if so, how terribly sad that was. ‘What about your parents?’

Carola turned her head and looked at Ellen. ‘No, that’s not necessary.’

‘Are you sure?’ asked Ellen.

‘Yes, I don’t want to be trouble for anyone. Thanks anyway.’

They sat in silence for a while. Carola looked so small and fragile. Ellen didn’t know what to do or say to get her to feel better.

‘Do you ever feel lonely?’ Carola asked after a while.

Ellen nodded. ‘Yes.’ She thought about how it had been when she’d been in the hospital just a few days ago. It had felt, then, as if she was the most solitary person in the whole world.

‘It’s when something like this happens that you start reflecting on your life and what you have and don’t have. It becomes so starkly black and white that …’ She fell silent.

‘You have your colleagues?’ Ellen attempted.

‘Yes, but, you know …’

‘Yes, I know. Unfortunately.’ Ellen wanted to ask about the bruises, but didn’t feel like it was the right moment. She wondered how the rest of her body looked, but she had her suspicions, considering that Carola was dressing in clothes that covered her whole body despite the heat.

‘I don’t want to be a burden for anyone. I’ll be well again soon.’

‘Well, let’s see, we’ll go through a few tests now.’ A nurse had come into the room. ‘The doctor is on his way.’

‘Do you want me to stay?’ Ellen asked.

‘No, I’ll be fine, but thanks.’ She smiled and reached out her hand.

Ellen squeezed it.