ELLEN
2.00 P.M.
There was no one in reception when Ellen came down. ‘I can see you’re really busy.’ She gave the receptionist a surly look, who responded in kind.
‘She left.’
She.
Ellen ran out into the parking lot and saw Carola just getting into her car. Instead of calling out, Ellen rushed forward.
‘Carola …’ Ellen tried not to sound so out of breath after that short stretch. But the adrenaline surge added to it, and she tried to calm herself down so she could present the whole thing strategically. ‘Were you looking for me?’
‘Yes, or no, it was nothing,’ Carola said, and was about to close the door when Ellen took hold of it.
‘I’m sorry, but I have to get back to the police station.’ She sounded irritated and sweat was running down her temples.
‘Listen, what you told me earlier, about that violent relationship. Was it a woman you were living with?’
‘What does that matter?’ Carola avoided her eyes, and continued to try to close the door.
Ellen still held onto it firmly. ‘Answer me! Was it a woman?’
‘Why do you want to know? What, are you a homophobe?’ Now she sounded tough again.
‘No …’
‘I’m sorry if I misunderstood you earlier at the hotel. I promise it won’t happen again.’ Once again, she tried to close the door. ‘I’m in a hurry and need to leave.’
‘Can I come with you part of the way?’ Equal parts crazy and smart, thought Ellen, but she had to get to the bottom of this. She hurried around the car and pulled at the handle, but the door was locked. She knocked on the window and felt her pulse rising. After a few seconds, Carola unlocked it, and Ellen got into the passenger seat in the boiling-hot car.
Carola stepped on the pedal, and Ellen barely had time to close the door before Carola recklessly backed up and drove out of the parking lot. ‘Take it easy,’ Ellen said, gripping the handle on the ceiling.
‘Where shall I let you off?’ Carola asked, her voice sounding gruff. She was sweating copiously, and her face was chalk-white.
‘Are you okay?’ Ellen asked as they drove onto Tegeluddsvägen. She had no plan for how she was going to pull this off, and was starting to regret being in the car. ‘Maybe you’re too warm in those clothes — must you wear a uniform?’
She still didn’t reply, and Ellen turned the airconditioning down to the coldest setting. Carola didn’t even seem to notice her poking at the instrument panel. ‘Is it because you want to hide the bruises? I thought you weren’t seeing that woman any more?’
Carola shrugged.
‘Really, are you okay?’ Ellen looked closer at Carola, whose sweating wasn’t abating even though it was actually starting to get cooler in the car. ‘Was it Liv?’ she tossed out, feeling her pulse racing.
Carola did not react to the question and drove up Lidingövägen as if Ellen hadn’t spoken.
She stopped at a red light by Stadion, turned her face away, and stared out the window.
The sun was out and blinded Ellen. She pulled down the sun visor, but it didn’t help. Her thoughts were racing as they turned onto Valhallavägen. ‘Can you stop here?’ Ellen asked, pointing at Sophiahemmet hospital. ‘Stop, please,’ she said. ‘Otherwise, I’m calling the police.’
To Ellen’s surprise, Carola did as she asked and stopped in a shady spot on the side of the road near the hospital.
‘I didn’t tell you about that tip. You were the one who sent it. Why did you do it?’
‘Why do you think? I wanted to make you understand that Liv wasn’t the damsel in distress you seemed to believe she was, but of course I had to be careful.’
‘Was that why you wanted to release that warning to women in Stentuna — to create confusion?’
‘What do you want?’ Carola asked, letting the car idle.
‘I want to try to understand. Can you tell me what happened? That’s why you knew she was found with her dress over her face.’ Ellen covered her mouth. ‘You hadn’t seen a picture …’
Carola was shaking and nervously fingering the steering wheel. Several times, it looked like she was bracing herself and about to say something.
Ellen tried to collect herself. ‘You were the one in the unmarked car. But how is it possible that they haven’t seen it on any surveillance cameras, it should have been easy to …’
‘I’ve been working as a police officer my whole life. I know how to avoid them.’
Her heart was pounding. ‘Was it the blue lights that got her to stop?’
Carola sat quietly with her head bowed. After a while she started talking. ‘I followed her from Stockholm. If I’d known she was going to drive all the way to Stentuna … I just wanted to talk to her, I know that deep down she loved me. She was the one who hit first …’
Carola fell silent, and Ellen didn’t know what she should do or say. Most of all, she just wanted to get out and run away from there.
‘You asked me what children are capable of doing. They’re looking for kicks. They fight. Argue. Challenge fate. Just like us adults,’ said Carola. ‘Liv was extremely hot-tempered.’ She rolled up the sleeves of her uniform and showed the bruises that had turned yellow. ‘Me too, I guess. That’s the way we were. It often got violent. Well, I told you the whole story this morning.’ She darted a glance at Ellen before she went back to staring straight ahead.
Ellen tried to fit it all together. ‘But I don’t understand, Liv was with Patrik, wasn’t she? Did she leave you for him? Was she bisexual?’
‘Yes, I guess so, but what does that matter now anyway? Is that really so strange or something to get stuck on? All you’re doing is confirming what Liv felt. She was ashamed of being gay — all she wanted was to live a normal life.’
‘No, sorry, that wasn’t what I meant. I mean, Patrik?’
Carola shrugged. ‘Yes, ironic, isn’t it? She wanted to have kids and was prepared to sacrifice anything at all for that dream. I couldn’t give her a child. Liv left me for Patrik because he could give her a family. She would rather have shared her love with two other women than have continued to be with me. Do you know how that feels? There’s nothing left of me. She decimated me. I can’t handle the grief, to be honest. Look at me.’ She was shaking like an aspen leaf.
‘But it doesn’t sound like you two had a particularly good relationship, considering that she beat you?’ Ellen was trying to understand.
‘I loved Liv, even though she treated me badly. Above all because I knew that she loved me, but I just couldn’t live up to her expectations.’
Ellen slipped her phone out of her pocket, afraid that Carola would fall apart completely at any moment.
‘Call the police, then. It’s just as well. I think they’ve probably already started to suspect me. They should, anyway. But maybe it would be best if you kept an eye on me until they get here. It would be a sensible act for the good of society, and something one would expect of the kind of responsible citizen you are.’
Ellen tried to keep her breathing in check.
‘The cherry on top of it all is that she was the one who hit the most and the hardest. They were her games. I’d never been in a violent relationship before. Liv was the leader. Think about that when you paint a dignified picture of her …’ She held her chest. ‘I just wanted to talk to her and try to sort things out, but it was impossible. She changed her phone number and her email address. In the end, I followed her. I just wanted to talk to her, tell her how much I loved her. When I stopped her with the car, she was furious.’ Carola was having a hard time talking and stumbled over her words again and again. ‘She was the one who started hitting. I don’t know what happened. She said such awful things, and she often did, but this time …’
‘But …’ Ellen kept trying to fit it together, while still wanting badly to get out of the car. ‘How did Hanna wind up with her phone?’
‘I don’t know. I threw it away from the car. Either the kids found it or …’ She started hyperventilating. ‘When I came to work and heard that the Nyköping police had screwed up, I realised that I was lucky. For the first time in my life.’
Without taking her eyes off Ellen, Carola drew her pistol from its holster.
‘How can I live with this? I’ve never felt anything so bad, and I can’t keep going. I miss her so incredibly much and I …’
Ellen dialled emergency on the phone and pressed the green button. ‘Carola!’ she shouted as, in the same second, Carola put the pistol against her head.