The moon looked as if it hung right above her parents’ house. Pulling into the shadow of the tall, three-story home, Jazmine parked her car. She rested her head against the steering wheel and sobbed. She had been able to hold the worst of it back as she drove, but she was safe in her parents’ driveway now.
A tap on the window caused her to jump right along with her heart. Her mother stood in the dark. Hand on her chest, Jazmine opened the door. “What are you doing? You scared me half to death.”
“I’m sorry, pumpkin.” Without another word, Azalea pulled her grown daughter into her arms and rocked her like a child.
After a few minutes of crying until her throat and ribs hurt, she sat back and wiped at her face. “Mom, what are you doing out here?”
“I was waiting for you on the balcony, but when you didn’t get out of the car I got worried.” Tucking a loose curl behind Jazmine’s ear, Azalea laid her forehead against her daughter’s. “It didn’t go the way you wanted? You were gone a long time.”
“No.” Jazmine stepped back and rubbed the back of her hand across her face. A stupid sob escaped.
Her mother took her by the hand and pulled her to the back door. “Let’s go sit on the balcony. I have lemonade and brownies waiting for you.”
The crying started all over.
Once on the top balcony, she settled in and allowed her mother to pamper her. Jazmine noticed the Bible open on the table. “What have you been reading?”
“My Bible study group has been discussing Romans. This week, Romans 5:8 was part of our reading, and it stuck with me. I was praying over it while you were gone.”
Jazmine leaned back in the rocker and sipped her drink, trying to let the stress float past her. “What does it say?”
“‘But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.’”
The corner of her mouth curled. “You’ve concluded that God loves Elijah.”
“Oh, it’s much more personal than that. God loves me despite my own sin, yet I sit here judging Elijah for actions from the past. What does the last six years tell me about him? It’s the plank in my eye while I point out your splinter. Don’t get me wrong. Getting you out that night? I would do it again. But the following months should have been handled differently. He has to hate us, but he’s been very patient.”
“We talked about that tonight. He understands why you hid us. He did the same for his family. Part of his healing has involved letting go of the past and the anger and taking responsibility for his actions.”
Her mother sighed. “So, why the tears?”
Her throat burned. If she spoke, the tears would start all over again.
Azalea slid into the large rocker next to her. “What happened?”
“He doesn’t want us to be close.”
Warmth surrounded her as her mother pulled her into her arms. The crying started all over again. When the sobs finally subsided, she leaned back, focusing on the stars so far away.
“Tuesday, we’ll be leaving for Denver.” With a slight turn of her head, she looked at her mother and gave her the best smile she could manage. “The message was loud and clear. Not only is there no future for us as a family, he thinks we should go back to Denver. As far from him as possible. That should reassure you.”
Azalea didn’t let go of Jazmine’s hands. “No, baby. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I thought you were happy in Denver, but after watching you the last few weeks, I realize you were just surviving. You’re a great mother, but I think a part of you was missing. Maybe it’s time for you to come back.”
Jazmine frowned. “Rosemarie and I are fine in Denver. She’ll get to see her father every other weekend and spend summers with her grandparents.”
Azalea put her arm around her daughter, resting her chin on the top of Jazmine’s head. “I know I’ve tried everything in my power to keep you from Elijah. But some things are in God’s hands. These last few weeks there’s been a joy in you I haven’t seen in years. I think you belong here, with Elijah.”
“Mom?” She pulled back and looked at her mother, stunned. “What have you done with my mother?” Sighing, she shook her head and rested on her mother’s shoulder. “You might have changed your opinion, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want me in his life.”
“That man loves you. He always has. I’ve seen how he treats Rosemarie. He’s a good father. If I truly believe that God can change people, then I believe the evidence in Elijah’s life. Not just this summer, but what he’s done since you left. You wanted to fight for him after that first weekend, but you were so hurt and lost. It was easy for us to take care of everything and send you away. Are you strong enough to fight for him now?”
Fresh tears made their way up from the bottom of her heart. “I don’t know.”
“He tried everything short of breaking down our door to get to you, and that was before he knew about Rosemarie.”
Jazmine sat up. “It’s true? You and Daddy lied to me.” She closed her eyes. The betrayal hit hard. She had based so many decisions on the lies her parents had told her. “You told me he wanted the divorce. When I asked how he was doing, you said his drinking was worse.”
“It was.” The words were sharp and defensive. Azalea dropped her head. “The time I went...” She looked back up at Jazmine, her eyes softer, regret deep. “It was the week after he signed the papers. I went to the house and, well, it wasn’t pleasant. That was the last time I saw him in that condition or heard about him drinking.”
“He told me he had one setback when he realized I wasn’t coming home.”
Her mother took her hands in hers, and Jazmine saw tears in her eyes. “Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry. We just wanted to protect you. It’s not an excuse, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was so afraid I’d lose you. I’d do anything to keep you safe. We went too far.”
Pulling away, Jazmine stood and went to the railing. The moon hung low in the night sky, the reflection dancing on the waves. “You know he said that? He said he understood why you did what you did. He’s trying to protect us.” She turned back to her mother. “From him.” The tears started falling again.
Coming to her side, Azalea wrapped an arm around her. “You’re a good mother. You’d never put Rosie at risk. He’s proving to be a good father. If you think the best place for you both is with him, I’ll support you.”
“Are you sure?”
Her mother’s gentle hand on her cheek took her back to childhood. “In my need to control, you might not notice this, but I do trust you. I also see the world a little differently these days.” She kissed her temple. “I almost lost your father. I’m working on trusting God more. That’s not easy for me. Elijah is surrounded by the good choices he’s made since you left. You need to stay true to your heart. God has you, follow Him.”
“It’s that easy?”
“Yes and no. Nothing of true value is easy.” Her mother cupped Jazmine’s face. “You’re strong, my beautiful daughter. God will show you the way. And I’ll support you.”
Did she know the right thing to do for all of them? Jazmine looked at the time. Elijah would be here bright and early to take them fishing. He didn’t trust himself, and she had only reinforced that by not allowing him to be responsible for Rosemarie.
She needed to prove to both that he was trustworthy.
“Mommy! Mommy! Wake up.”
Jazmine groaned at the weight bouncing on her bed. Forcing one eye open, she peered at the time. It was almost five o’clock. Why was Rosie...? She shot up. “Your father!”
With all the drama last night, she’d forgotten to make sure her alarm was set. She rubbed her face.
“Daddy said to be ready by five. You’re not ready.”
Blinking her eyes, she focused on her daughter. Rosemarie was wearing a Painted Dolphin T-shirt, jeans, and the pink and purple waders Elijah had bought her. And a purple tutu. Oh, to be five and wear whatever struck your mood.
The tutu matched her new fishing pole. She was even wearing Jazmine’s oversize hat.
“What do you think about making this a day with your dad and cousins, a De La Rosa trip?” She needed to prove to Elijah that she did trust him. Plus, spending all day with him in the confines of a boat might prove too much for her right now. Her emotions were still raw. And she had a great deal of praying to do.
“But you’re coming. You don’t want to fish?”
“It’s not really my thing. Anyway, I thought you might like a little time alone with your father.”
Rosie plopped onto the bed. “We could talk about you.” She giggled.
Before she could ask what, they would talk about, there was a knock on the door.
“He’s here! Mommy, you’re still in your pajamas.”
Her pajamas consisted of an oversize Jim’s Pier T-shirt and yoga pants. Slipping out of bed, she threw her robe on. “Go get your fishing pole and backpack.”
Then she stumbled down the steps, trying to push her hair into some sort of civilized shape.
Opening the door, she came face-to-face with the same Painted Dolphin logo that Rosemarie had picked out to wear. Elijah’s fit a little tighter, stretching across broad shoulders. Very broad shoulders.
She blinked a couple of times, trying to escape the sleep fog that clouded her thoughts. Moving her gaze up, she was trapped by her favorite set of eyes. This morning they seem to dance in between shades of gray and green.
She frowned. The look of hesitation and doubt she found in them hurt her heart. With a shake of her head, she glared at him. He had no right to be all sad. He was the one who had rejected her.
Last night she had gone to him, and he had turned her down. Why was he looking like the kicked puppy?
“Do I have the wrong day?” He glanced around, as if the date was written in the air.
“No.”
“We’re going fishing, right?”
“Yes.” Brilliant, Jazmine. It seemed as if one word at a time was all her brain could manage.
His gaze dropped to her bare feet. “I wouldn’t recommend going barefoot.”
“Oh, I’m not going. I’m not feeling well, so I decided today you can take her without me.”
He closed the distance between them and put the back of his hand on her forehead. “We can reschedule.”
She stepped back. “No, no. I’m not that sick. Just didn’t sleep well last night.”
The crease in Elijah’s brow deepened. He searched her eyes. What was he looking for?
“Just her and me? You’re going to let me take her? Out on a boat?”
This should have happened so long ago. She covered her face with her oversize terry-cloth sleeve. She was not going to cry again. Forcing a smile, she nodded. “It’s time.”
“Jazmine, I’m sorry. I know last night wasn’t what you had expected.” He stuffed his hands in his back pockets, stretching his shoulders wider. “I’m so tired of letting you down. It seems it’s all I ever do.”
She took a step closer but made sure not to touch him. Yelling at him to be brave and take a chance with them, was not a viable option this morning. She had said all the words last night, and it hadn’t made a difference.
He lowered his chin until their foreheads almost touched. “Please, don’t look at me like that. This is the first time in my life I’m not taking the easy way out. I’m doing this for her. And you.”
Rosemarie’s excited footsteps bounced down the stairs, and they jumped apart. Their daughter hopped off the last step and ran to Elijah. He went down to her level and opened his arms.
Hugging her tight, he pretended to be knocked off balance. “You’re so strong!”
“Careful, sweetheart. You’re going to hit someone with that fishing pole.”
Elijah laughed. “Here, let me take it. I have a special place for it in my truck.”
“Will you keep it there, even when Mommy takes me back to Denver? We can still fish every week, right?”
“Rosie.” She put a hand on her tiny shoulder. “We can’t come back every week. It’s too far away.”
The child’s body stiffened, and a hard scowl took over the sweet face. She took in a lungful of air. Jazmine had a feeling Elijah was about to get a firsthand experience of stubborn Rosemarie. “Then I don’t want to go to Denver. My fishing pole won’t be there or my horse or GiGi and Papa.” She took a breath. “I want to stay with Daddy. I want to live on the boat.”
Elijah took a step back.
He had been the one to say no, and now he wasn’t going to say a word. She gathered her daughter’s wild curls and put them in a ponytail. “Sweetheart, we’ve talked about this, but if you want to throw a fit, you’re more than welcome to go to your room. If you want to go fishing with your daddy, you need to put on a smile. We can talk about this later if you want to, but not right now. Do you want to go fishing or throw a fit in your room?”
“Fishing.”
“Good.” Jazmine looked at her ex-husband. He had the deer-stuck-in-the-headlights look. “Elijah, are you ready?”
Elijah looked a bit lost as Rosemarie stood, fishing pole in hand. Clearing his throat, he dropped to one knee in front of their daughter. “I’ll be coming to visit at least once a month. We’ll have a great time when I’m there. You can show me your school and all your friends. You miss them, right?”
Rosemarie scowled.
Jazmine wanted to explain to him that a five-year-old didn’t have a good grasp of time and distance. But Elijah stood, and those beautiful lips kicked up on each end.
Her heart skipped. There was the carefree boy she had fallen in love with so long ago. He offered his hand to Rosie. “You want to go fishing, or what?”
Rosemarie took it, her scowl vanishing.
Elijah glanced at Jazmine, his face suddenly serious. “I’ll have her back before noon.”
She crossed her arms. “It’s okay if you want to take her to lunch.”
“That’s seven hours. Without you or your parents.”
“You’ve always been good at math.” Serious again, Jazmine tilted her head. “I trust you with her.”
He gave a solemn nod.
“Daddy, we’re going to catch big fish, just like on the TV.” Rosemarie pulled at him, moving to his truck.
Jazmine smiled. “Save some. We can have them for dinner tonight. Papa needs to eat more fish. And take pictures to show me.”
“Okay! Love you, Mommy!” Rosie yelled over her shoulder, eager to go off with her father.
“I love you too, sweetheart.” The urge to cry burned her eyes. Was she going to stay and fight, or was he right? Would it be best for their daughter to keep things as they were?
He paused. Turning away from Rosemarie, he studied her.
Did he know what she was thinking? “Elijah?”
His eyes looked teal right then. “Do you want to join us for lunch?”
She shook her head. “I wanted to go to Dad’s doctor visit.”
“Daddy! Hurry, so we can sneak up on the fish before they wake up.”
The left side of his lips curled. “Duty calls.”
Jazmine laughed. “She’s always been a morning baby. Up early and ready to attack the day—or the fish. She’s all your daughter this morning.” She yawned. “Sorry.”
He grinned. “We’ll see you this afternoon. Go back to bed, princess.”
Rosemarie bounced beside the truck, excited about her new adventure.
“Don’t forget to make her wear a life jacket.”
Elijah strapped Rosemarie into the backseat of his truck. He had a booster chair all ready. He saluted Jazmine and winked. “Yes, Mom.”
She stood and watched them disappear.
Six years ago, she had run without looking back. She was so tired of running. She needed Elijah to see the future she saw when she looked at him. But if he didn’t, why was she fighting him? Putting her family back together wasn’t something she could do on her own; he needed to want it too.