book title

Bellaphia bustled around the tent with renewed alacrity, humming to herself and even giving a little twirl as she moved cushions and trunks. “C’mon, my girl, let’s get you up now. I know you’re probably feeling a tad tuckered, but we’ll pep you up in no time, don’t you worry.”

But Emara couldn’t stop staring at this woman who was night-and-day different from the muttering sleepwalker who’d met them the night before. Had she really done it? Had she actually managed to heal Bellaphia? Was this the beginning of a different, brighter future? Hopeful, exhausted tears welled in her eyes at the thought. “Bellaphia? Is that really you?”

“It is!” Bellaphia crowed, the small snake slipping up onto her shoulders. “For the first time in centuries! Finally, peace and quiet. Now, let’s get you up, dearie.” She bent to lift Emara by the armpits and propped her up against a trunk, stacking the cushions to keep her upright. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, and I’m afraid we don’t have as much time as we would like.” She chuckled to herself, her button nose wrinkling. “Oh, and there I go making jokes.”

Emara eyed the magus that had only minutes before been so blearily distant and now bounced around like she was lighter than air. Maybe she really had done irreparable damage to her mind after all. “I’m afraid I’m not even sure where to begin. But why, exactly, are we running out of time?”

Bellaphia took one of the cups and dipped it into the metal bowl. Her gaze flicked briefly to hers before she lifted the cup to Emara’s lips. “Well, Ivanora and Everard are on their way, but you already knew that. No sense rushing, of course. Take small sips and catch your breath, dear.”

Bellaphia let Emara sip until the cup was empty and refilled it. This time, Emara found she had the strength to hold the cup herself. The liquid tasted of cool water flavored with mint and honey, and Emara almost imagined she could feel it coursing through her body, filling her barren well of yanaa. “That’s delicious. What is it?”

“A replenishing potion I got from my brother, Dory. It’s been marinating for seven years, to the hour. Just for this moment!” She nudged her with a wink. “Can’t believe I was able to resist a snitch here or there.”

“Seven years?” Emara nearly choked on the mouthful. “To the hour? But how could you possibly know I was coming? That I would be here? That I would need it?”

“Ah see, there are those pesky questions. I knew they would come, of course.” Bellaphia refilled Emara’s cup before handing it back to her and picking up a dusty leather volume from the rug. “You see this book? Dorinar would kill me if he knew it was on the floor, of course.”

Emara nodded, wondering just how sound this woman’s mind was.

Bellaphia opened it, leafing through the yellowed pages of spidery text. “If you were to read it, you would open it up and go word by word, page by page. That’s how you go about life, moment by moment, day by day. But for the last few decades I’ve seen it…” She snapped the book shut and held it by the spine, showing the stacked gilded page edges to Emara. “All at once.”

Emara’s brows pinched, trying to comprehend this. “So all those faces, all those voices…”

Bellaphia nodded, running a finger along the snake’s scales as it stretched along her shoulders. “They are all things that have happened, or will happen, or that are happening.”

Emara’s body went cold, her elation evaporating like the morning dew. If that was true, that meant that right now Shad was lying crumpled on the throne floor, Everard was dead, and Aza and Zephyr and the others would soon follow. But hadn’t she just saved this woman? Hadn’t she just changed their fates? “And it never changes? How is that possible? I mean, don’t people get a choice?”

Bellaphia snorted, picking up her own mug. “Of course, everyone gets a choice.” She offered another toothy smile. “All those choices are just happening at once.”

Emara rubbed her temples. “But I thought… the future I know is so dark and horrible.” She looked at Bellaphia, tears of helplessness and confusion pooling in her eyes. “I thought by coming here…” Her breath hitched in her throat as her thoughts frayed. “Can I… can we not escape that future?”

“Oh no, hush, dearie, hush.” Bellaphia put her soft arms around her, and Emara could hold in the sorrow no more. Defeated sobs spilled out of her in great heaving gasps as she crumpled into Bellaphia's silky chemise. “I know it’s hard to know what we can change and what we cannot. Forget Dory and the silly book.” She threw it to the rug with a thump. “All you can do is keep trying your best from word to word, from letter to letter.” Bellaphia ran her hand over Emara’s back in soothing circles. “Every choice makes a different story with infinite books we could open.”

“But if you can see all that, then why don’t you just tell me?” Emara choked out. “Tell me how it ends. Please. Just tell me what to do.”

Bellaphia gently held her at arms-length, staring her in the eyes from behind her thick glasses. “But that’s not why you came here, Emara.”

Emara wiped the tears from her face, trying to even her breaths. “I don’t know why I came here. I thought maybe I could help you, or you could help me—”

“And who says we aren’t?” Bellaphia’s hands moved to squeeze Emara’s. “I didn’t always see time this way. Sometimes the past or the future would come to me in flashes, but the closer I get to… I mean in the past century, it’s gotten to the point where I hardly know when or where I am anymore. My sister built me this place, which helps some, but Emara, this gift, this serenity and healing you have given me has been my sanctuary. The one time I know I can be in and have peace.” She took the cup from the table and refilled it once again, pushing it into Emara’s hand. “Please don’t forget, no matter what happens, that you have given me a tremendous gift, and that I am so grateful Everard was able to send you to me.”

Emara sniffed, this small consolation just enough to gather herself. “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t a total waste then.”

Bellaphia cocked her head, birdlike, and the little snake flicked its tongue out, tasting the air. “And even if you had never met me, do you think it would have been a waste?”

Emara shook her head with a pang of regret. “No, not at all. In fact…” Chipo and Jai flashed bright in her thoughts. Chipo with her infectious smile and Jai with his winking, flirtatious smirk. The three of them talking, laughing… safe and comfortable in a sunny world. “This has been an incredible gift for me as well. A blessed moment of peace. I’m just… I’m just scared of how much it’ll hurt to give it up.” She swiped at her damp cheeks. “Am I a coward for not wanting to go back? To stay here with this lightness. This joy? Of course, I am. Selfish and—”

“None of those things.” A sadness creased Bellaphia’s soft face. “You are the girl who grew up in the darkest of times. The one that faced horrors no child should have to look in the eye. And yet you stand here with a heart as bright as the highest sun. A healer of time that has done what no other has done before her. And when the moment comes to take the next step, you must remember we only have the choices we are given. Once you make your path, it cannot be unmade.”

Emara straightened, rolling this wisdom around in her mind, the yanaa once again flowing through her body—more powerful than ever, as if ready to burst from her seams. Everard had told her to come to Bellaphia. And she had. She’d helped the magus find peace, and maybe found a little peace herself. She looked at her hands, her yanaa stronger than it’d ever been. What could she do now with this new strength?

“They’re coming!” Chipo’s voice ripped into the tent, and her head popped through the flap with a wince. “I’m so sorry to interrupt. But Jai spotted Ivanora and Everard with their guards riding down the dune. They’ll be here in minutes. Should we try to leave? Hide?”

Ivanora’s name sent fire and ice burning along Emara’s skin in turns. “Will they try to hurt us?”

Bellaphia patted Emara’s hand before rising with a bittersweet smile. “No hiding. We will meet them head on and straighten them out. They believe you have come with ill intentions.” She spread her arms out as if in proof of her good health. “Which is obviously not the case.”

“Bellaphia?” Chipo stepped fully into the tent, eyes wide. “Mari… how did you… you did it!”

“Yes, yes, now make yourself useful, Chipo, and make sure that boy, Jai, doesn’t do anything foolish like try to stall them.”

Chipo nearly jumped with alarm. “Oh no, he did say something like that.” Then she disappeared out of the tent again, the flap swishing shut behind her.

Emara stood and stepped closer to Bellaphia, her voice low. “But Bellaphia, if we can stop Ivanora now, we can prevent her from ever resurrecting Idriel.”

Bellaphia shook her head. “My girl, Ivanora still has to make that choice. We cannot execute her for a crime she may not commit.”

“But we know—”

“We know nothing.” Bellaphia moved the snake’s thin body from her shoulder back to her wrist. “There are many possibilities, and in one of them, you die here, trying to kill Ivanora yourself and leaving the future to crumble into darkness without you. Sending you back and uniting the Heirs… that’s the only way we can be sure to defeat Idriel.”

“You can send me back?”

“I can.” Her eyes crinkled at the edges. “And I will. But this clarity will only last for a short time. I will have to do it soon, before my strength fades.”

Emara’s jaw clicked shut with shock and frustration. “And what if I do go back? Do you know how much death and violence and tragedy I could prevent if I stayed? How many generations of Time Heirs I could save?” She threw her hand out. “All of Okarria even. It doesn’t have to fall to ruin and darkness.”

She thought of the entire generation that the Heir-killer had hung from the castle walls—Chipo’s child was certainly among them—how the Lost had cut down her mother and her grandfather before her. She thought of Shad’s 118 years of servitude and sorrow—how he’d watched their world die around them.

She could save them all if she just stayed. She could stop Ivanora—could stop the world from dying. Wasn’t that the right thing to do? Even as she thought it, she knew it wasn’t. She didn’t belong here in this sunny place of hope and family. No matter how hard she fought against it, she knew in her bones Bellaphia was right. If she stayed, she would never know if she'd indeed averted Okarria's horrible end or unknowingly contributed to it. Emara might be the Time Heir, but she couldn’t escape the fate she’d laid for herself… just like everyone else.

Bellaphia took a shot of the replenishing potion, and then another, and another. Finally, she wiped her mouth and slipped back into her long robe, sorrow pulling at her mouth and eyes. “I’m afraid I’ve been selfish too, Emara, and I haven’t been fully honest with you.”

Jai’s shout came from outside, and Emara turned, only for Bellaphia’s hand to clamp on her wrist and tug her into a tight hug.

“After this is all said and done, please forgive me for wanting to see my brother and sister before you left.”

Emara pulled back, wondering if Bellaphia’s clarity had already started to fade. Confusion and dread sank like a stone in her stomach. “But… I don’t understand.”

Now, it was Bellaphia’s turn to wipe away a tear. “You will. Just remember, I made my choices. No one made them for me.”

With another shout, the tent flew into the air around them, the stakes holding it down plucked from the ground like toothpicks. Emara grabbed Bellaphia and yanked her to the rug, shielding the magus with her body as her belongings flew around them in the sudden maelstrom.

“What are you doing to my sister, you imposter?” Ivanora screamed, gripping the sword hilt at her waist.

Her pale complexion had purpled with exertion and rage, her long caramel hair whipping at her crimson robes, and her obsidian eyes murderous. To one side, Durad, Everard’s crueler guard, held a knife to Jai’s throat, while Elika, the kinder one, gripped Chipo’s elbows with a stricken expression. Everard’s countenance remained impassive as he looked on. Apparently, he wasn’t going to be any help this time.

“I’m not hurting her,” Emara yelled over the blasting gusts. “I’m just trying to—”

The wind intensified. “Take advantage of her? I’ll kill you for touching her.”

“No!” Bellaphia’s voice was small against the gale as she pulled away from Emara’s protective arms. “Ivy, please no. This isn’t the time for anger.”

The sandstorm stopped as if someone had snuffed out a candle. The fury melted from Ivanora’s oval face, her shoulders sagging. Even Everard staggered, his jaw slack with disbelief.

All around them, the small oasis had gone silent.

“Ph… Phi?” Ivanora raised a hand to cover her trembling lower lip. “Is that really… but how?”

Rising to her feet, Bellaphia adjusted her glasses with a chuckle. “Of course it’s me, Ivy.” Then Bellaphia stretched her arms out, and Ivanora, forgetting any trace of dignity or decorum, ran into her embrace like a child running to her mother.

Emara edged away, putting some distance between herself and the magi. Tears ran from both of the women’s cheeks as they tried to talk through their tears—marveling, cooing, and soothing one another by turns. Everard strode forward and wrapped his arms around the both of them, murmuring something too low for her ears.

Emara looked to the others, searching for some sort of explanation. Chipo and Elika smiled along with them, the tension melting away from their faces, while Jai elbowed away from the other guard.

“Get offa’ me. See, I told you she was fine.”

“Jai!” Emara jogged over to him, assessing the blood oozing from his temple, his blackening eye, and the shallow cut on his neck. He reached a hand for her, and her fingers interlaced in his, sweeping away the pain. It took not even a thought now to ease the swelling of his head and close the wounds. “What happened?”

He smiled at her, but it was still tense, the bruising around his eye fading. “Oh, you know me, just another dust-up with our favorite guards. What about you? We heard shouting from the tent, but Chipo threatened violence if I got near you two.”

“He’s always so nosy!” Chipo tossed in.

Emara grinned at her and noticed both guards staring at Emara and then at Chipo.

The crop-haired Durad looked from one to the other and back again. “But… a simple healer did what the Time Heir could not? That’s impossible.”

Elika stepped forward with a smile on his face. “Come now, Durad, the world is a mysterious place. Who knows what’s possible?” He turned to Chipo, red sand streaking his sweaty face and shadowy bags underscoring his dark lashes. “But while he’s mulling that over, is there somewhere we could water our camelopes and freshen up? I feel like the magi should have a little privacy for their reunion.”

Chipo heartily agreed and showed them the way, with their wavy-horned steeds following behind, large colorful saddles adorning their humped backs.

Emara and Jai hung back, walking slower, and she realized he’d never let go of her hand.

“So, you were able to help the magus,” Jai said, their hands swinging between them as they walked as if it were the most natural, the most right thing in the world. “Was she able to help you?”

Emara swallowed, Bellaphia’s words too big for her to digest all at once. Even though the magus had regained her clarity, Emara still wasn’t sure what half of what she’d said actually meant. There was only one thing that she now realized with absolute clarity. Leaving the future to crumble into darkness without you.

She would have to go back.

Then it hit her—no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t change the past. It wasn’t hers to change. Her future was still waiting for her. And it was dark, and frightening, and bloody, but she’d helped make it. Which meant only she could fix it.

She looked at their linked hands, wondering if she should squeeze tighter or pull away. Was there some way she could pause time and linger in this moment? Or would that only make leaving hurt all the more?

“Emara?” Jai stopped, worry pinching his brow.

Emara gazed at the sun already sitting low on the horizon, setting the dunes ablaze in oranges and reds. “I suppose… yes, she did help me. Just not in the way I’d expected.”

Jai’s face lightened immediately, and he continued their stroll through the canvas tents. “That’s fantastic news. We should leave in the morning then. I know Everard and Ivanora look well enough now, but they seem rather unpredictable.” He squeezed her hand as a shudder racked his shoulders. “And something about them just doesn't feel right.”

She kicked at the gritty red sand with her cloth boots, unable to keep thoughts of her imminent departure at bay. She couldn’t just disappear on him without any warning. She wouldn’t do that to him—not when they’d come so far together. Reluctantly, Emara slipped her hand from his, regret weighing her every word.

“I… don’t think I’ll be coming back with you, Jai.”

He stopped again. “What? You’re going to stay here?”

She shook her head, clenching her hands together. “No, Bellaphia has promised to return me to my homeland. If I don’t…” She took a deep breath, the reality of her own words dawning on her. “My people will die.”

“But they might die anyway.” Jai took her hands again, his dark amber eyes boring into hers. “It’s too dangerous to go by yourself, at least let me go with you, Emara. Surely, Bellaphia will see the wisdom in that.”

Emara tried not to think about that too much. Even the idea made her heart tighten with the possibility. “I can’t, Jai. You have your whole life here, a good home, and a family that depends on you.”

He stepped nearer, his voice a rough whisper, and his lips close, too close. “I would leave it for you, Emara.”

For a moment, she almost closed that gap. Almost told him, yes come with me, into my dark, dying world. Or better, hold me so close that I can’t go.

The want of it nearly stole her breath away, and perhaps Emara would have... But she was not just Emara anymore, she was the Time Heir, and she couldn’t afford to be selfish for a moment longer.

She turned away. “I’m sorry, Jai, but that’s impossible.”

“Then, if not me, someone else!” Jai’s voice lowered, so close she could feel his breath on her neck. “I saw you when you escaped that place, Emara. You were barely alive, injured, and we could all see just how shattered you were. Then in just this past moon, you’ve come alive here, Em. You smile and laugh, and your power grows with every day. I can feel it like my own heart beating.”

Emara squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the emotions back, and Jai’s fingers skated along the edge of her hand.

“I just, I don’t want you to go back to that, Emara. You deserve so much more.”

She turned to him then, her swimming gaze meeting his. “No one deserves the horrors my people have had to endure, but I’m the only one who can end it.”

Jai propped his hands on his hips, his face falling as the defiance sagged out of him. “I wish I didn’t believe you.” He looked at her from beneath his dark waves. “Maybe then asking you to stay wouldn’t be so selfish.”

The corner of Emara’s lips edged up in spite of herself. “Not as selfish as me wanting to stay.”

Jai ran his hands through his hair with a groan. “Don’t say that, mystery-girl, or I’ll have to throw you over my shoulder and start running. Again.”

Then Emara couldn’t help herself. She laughed, a flood of emotions rampaging through her as she edged closer to him, indulging herself for only a moment. “Where are we running?”

He smiled, a flash of amusement that melted into something more pensive. More earnest. He leaned toward her, a finger grazing her cheek and his gaze roaming her face as if memorizing her. “Anywhere.” And he was leaning so close, his hands featherlight on her hips as her hand slid up his chest. Her eyes closing and her head tilting up to his.

Emara instinctively jolted away at the sound of Everard’s deep, commanding voice. Her cheeks burned hot as she found the silver-haired magus staring at her from the gloaming.