––––––––
It took three beers to get through the interview-like introductions. Rika met the mayor, alpha, whatever; she met the bat – who was definitely a really hot vampire girl; she met the hedgehog, the tiny fox who was apparently mated to the huge bear cop she’d seen earlier. It took another half a beer to get through meeting the corgi parents, which was about the funniest thing in the world, and just as adorable as her sister had said.
The weirdest thing though, well aside from all that, was how everyone kept asking about what sort of sunscreen she was wearing.
When the tide stemmed for a moment, she finally had a second to talk to her sister privately.
“Why do they all keep asking me about being out in the day?”
Petunia shrugged. An absolutely enormous bear, dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a cowboy hat wandered over to their booth, accompanied by a gangly man with all sorts of junk tied in his hair, who was flanked with two odd looking, half-green bears, who were alternating between holding hands and exchanging slobbery kisses.
The big guy stuck his hand out. “I’m West,” he said. “I dragged your sister in after she ruined my garden.”
Petunia seemed oddly at peace with this. “He did me a favor,” she said out the side of her mouth.
“Hi, uh, I’m Paprika, I’m just coming to town to—“
“Atlas!” the jangly looking man shouted. “Atlas! No!”
But it was too late. The giant, whose breath smelled like a mixture of body spray, bubble bath and... candles? Had plucked Paprika off her stool, and was hugging her like a kid with a favorite stuffed hippo. “Hel...lo!” Atlas bellowed. “New... friend!”
He was gross, and he was sorta grimy, but his enthusiasm was enough to outweigh Paprika’s horror. She started giggling and smiling as he mauled her with hugs and open-mouthed, watery baby kisses. The slightly smaller one finally grabbed his hair and yanked. “No!” she shouted. “Atlas, bad! Bad Atlas!”
Looking dejected, the zombie put her down, but resumed smiling a second later when what Paprika guessed must have been the constructed girlfriend Petunia told her about started kissing him with an urgency, and an amount of drool, that most people saved for late, drunk nights at motels far from home.
“I am sorry about all that, I’m Jenga. If you need a bleeding, or any kind of heart surgery let me know, though I suppose neither of those will be an issue for your sort. And I don’t do teeth anymore, so... anyway, just so’s you know.”
West, and the witch doctor both left, and for a moment, the parade seemed to stop. “What the fuck just happened? And what does he mean “like you”? Why do people keep saying things like that?”
“Honestly, sis, it’s like you’re an alien. And before you ask, no there aren’t any of those here. At least not that I know of.” She shook her head, slowly and mockingly. “Have you never read Twilight?”
“Well, no, I saw the movie, but,” Rika trailed off as she turned one of her forearms back and forth under the dangling Coors Light lamp. The sparkles caught her eye and she finally made the connection.
“I need a shower,” she said with a smirk. “I need a shower to get rid of this cologne smelling drool, and I need about nineteen hours of sleep. When I get that, I might be able to process all this.”
“You’ve sure been a trooper so far,” Petunia said, pushing back from the table and dropping a twenty on the fake mosaic tile.
“Is that gonna cover it?” Rika asked. “I mean, it’s not like I can toss in any, but—“
“We have a deal,” Petunia said, tilting her head toward the bar tender, who was of course just about too large to be real. She winked. He, unbelievably, winked back.
All the way to the car, Paprika couldn’t do much anything but just shake her head, and try to keep herself from drooling out of her wide open mouth.
*
The shower did the trick. Petunia, for some reason, had invested in a huge, beautifully-tiled offset shower with two heads – one rain and one massager – with a frameless glass door. Upon seeing it, the only thing Paprika could think to call it was a “love-makin’ box,” which amused her sister to no end. Stepping into it, the notion that she could have shared it with Thor, assuming that he hadn’t... well, whatever had happened that made him bolt, put a squiggle through her that was half sad, half excruciatingly exciting.
She’d find him. She knew it. He was coming here to take that dentist job, and nothing in the world was going to stop her from finding her bear. Hell, once he got his wits about him, he’d probably come looking for her, if the past was any indication.
At some point during the hour that Paprika was allowing herself to scald and massage and soak in the shower before the water started going cold, someone rang the doorbell, and was chatting it up with her sister. She’d mentioned a roommate, so Rika didn’t give a second thought.
Even if she’d wanted to dwell on the visitor, the completely ridiculous decadence of being massaged on the back, then the butt, and then the top of her thighs, all while warm, luxurious rain drenched her from head to toe? Suddenly, the point of this ridiculous renovation became wonderfully, achingly, amazingly clear. She might have to make her move permanent just for this thing. Although, she realized if she did, she’d probably need four jobs to cover the water bill.
At some point, the pair in the living room apparently broke out some drinks, because they were getting louder and louder, laughing more and more. But Rika was off in her own world, floating around on a cloud of steam. It took fairly significant effort to pry herself off the built-in bench when the hot water finally started to peter out, and when she stepped out, Rika was shocked to find that it was almost seven o’clock.
She’d never spent that long in the shower, mostly because wasting water was bad, and her mother liked to lecture about it, but then again, she’d never had a guy run away from her, and then gone on a cross country semi-move in the same day. So, she thought extenuating circumstances meant she deserved a little pampering.
And anyway, there was a lot of cologne drool all over her, and that wasn’t going to fly. When she’d scrubbed and scalded herself pink, her naked skin was even more sensitive to the prickling, chilly cold rush of air she felt when she left her steam room.
But, God did it ever feel good. Being in a new place, clean and refreshed, surrounded by crazies that made her sister look at least sorta-kinda normal? Rika took a deep breath and scrubbed her mop of hair dry-ish with one of the towels she dug out of her sister’s linen closet. It usually took two to get her hair dry, but tonight? She just didn’t care.
She had determined, decided, that she was going to give life two days, maybe three, to get into some kind of a routine. She’d figure out what she could do around town, figure out if she could maybe get a job if she wanted to stay.
Showers were the place where Rika made decisions, and when she had an uninterrupted hour? She made lots. She even came to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to hunt down Thor. They were both grown-ups, she’d reasoned. They both had their baggage and their bullshit. It wasn’t her place to run after him and harass him into a relationship, and anyway that probably wouldn’t work out very well in the long run.
“Nope,” she said to herself, as she double-wrapped the towel around her body and stepped out into the hall. She almost forgot she was only wearing a towel and there was a stranger in the house. You know what? I’m wearing a towel, I’m not naked. What the hell do I have to worry about? New place, new life, right?
She took one confident, self-assured, partially-dripping step toward the living room and immediately retreated. Okay, maybe baby steps into a new life. Baby steps are always good.
Rika was partially horrified to find that the PJs her sister tossed to her as she was getting ready for her shower turned out to be fuzzy, purple, and matching. Worse yet, the pants had overly cute hippos on them, and declared “someone’s sleepy!” which is just a great first impression to make. She took a deep ‘what the hell’ breath, and resumed her walk through the living room. She had an apartment, yeah, and so it didn’t much matter who this guy was or what he thought of her, but...
I’m gonna rest for a couple days, and then I’m going to get on with life. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. And why am I so nervous? Must be the exhaustion talking, or maybe the tail end of my slight intoxication?
She sighed heavily and decided that she was just being an idiot. Paprika ran through a checklist in her mind.
Courage? Gathered. Hair? Sorta tamed. Hippo pajamas? Equipped. Acting like a giant idiot? I—
“Rika?” her sister’s voice came in loud and clear, probably because at some point in this panic attack extinguishing exercise, she had come to the bathroom. “Hey, I got someone for you to meet. He’s, uh,” seeing her sister’s apparent anxiety, Petunia changed courses. “You okay?”
“I’m just tired, I think.” Her hands were shaking. The bags under her eyes stretched past her nose. “Just tired and... and...”
It all came rushing out at once. “I thought it was for real this time. I thought this was it, and then he just vanished! He just fucking ran away! I kissed him and he kissed me back. One time he chased me through the woods and we had, uh, a little thing and,” she sniffed deeply through her nose, surprised at how stuffy she’d gotten in the last eight seconds.
The chair in the living room creaked. Someone stood up – whoever the stranger was, Petunia’s new fake boyfriend-cum-roommate was about to figure out that her sister was the real basket case. She sniffed hard and rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, trying to control herself. “I’m just tired and I kept pushing this out of my mind, convinced that it would be fine and the universe would work everything out. He told me that once, you know.”
“Jesus,” Petunia said. “You got it bad for this guy.” There was a flicker of mischief in her eyes, but through the tears, Rika didn’t see it. She also didn’t hear the footsteps coming up from behind, and she didn’t hear the floorboards creak, either.
“I’m so sorry,” Paprika kept on. “He left town, this was the last place that was on his computer when I had his secretary check. I figured he’d come here, so I came here and now I’m just a goddamn mess and I’m pining after a guy who ran away from me because I’m so clingy and weird and needy and,” she stopped to catch her breath again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Petunia, normally about as tender as a raw head of kale, pulled her sister in, stroking her hair, and kissing her on the forehead. She looked at the guy standing in the doorway, and gave him an expectant, “what are you gonna do about this, jack ass?” look.
“I’m so sorry,” Paprika said again. “So, so sorry. I thought it was real this time. I thought...”
“I’m the one who needs to apologize. And it is.”
Paprika froze, stiff as a board, for a second. The gears in her head, grinding away, were almost audible. Her lips stopped shaking, her fingers clenched into a fist, and Petunia slid backward very, very carefully. She knew what was coming. From how he didn’t move, Thor obviously didn’t.
One breath, Rika was staring straight at the wall, fist clenched. In the next, she swung around, whap against Thor’s jaw. “Why did you do that? After all the stuff we said? You just ran?”
“I deserved that,” he said. He opened his mouth to say something else, but before he could, Paprika was on her tiptoes, he had his hands in her hair, and his lips found their way to hers.
Petunia was shaking her head in stunned silence. “Well,” she said as the two explored the inner reaches of the other’s throats with their tongues. “At least I’m not the crazy one anymore. Well okay, maybe I am. But at least my mood swings aren’t that fast.”
Behind Thor’s back, Paprika turned a hand over, and extended her middle finger. “I told you I’d pay you back for the bail,” Petunia said. “And remember you have an apartment, you don’t have to make up all over my bathroom.” As she slipped out the room, Petunia made sure her sister could hear her laughing.