We’ve been doing it since our very first day in preschool at All Souls on Lexington, and now that we’re older, it’s the one game we still play. I’m talking about playing house, and once the houses are real, it gets really interesting. Whether it’s a sprawling cottage on Sea Island, a pied-à-terre on Madison, or a villa in Tuscany, one rule remains the same: With great real estate comes great responsibility. Especially when it comes to throwing a housewarming party, like the one planned for this Friday night at the Cashman Lofts—the building’s big unveiling. Here are some helpful housekeeping hints to keep in mind, for the next time you want to plan a party:
Designate rooms. Creating a solid floor plan is key. No party is complete without a VIP room, so make sure to put the good booze in a special place, for your special guests—leave the Cosmos for the girls who were lucky just to score an invite. Most importantly, lock the master bedroom. Left unguarded, someone is guaranteed to have sex on your parents’ thousand-thread-count silk sheets, or throw up on the antique Turkish rug.
Institute a tough door policy. If your home is your castle, it’s up to you to choose your court. Let your doorman know who can come in and who can’t—he’ll be happy to play bouncer for the night.
Make it look easy. The goal of any party is to make your guests think this is how you live all the time. First, scan the house with a critical eye.
Hide all evidence of your childhood and your parents’ weird hobbies (that means the nutcracker collection has to go). Hire a cleaning service for both before and after the party, but make sure the place still feels lived-in, otherwise you’ll look totally OCD.
And most important of all: While the people you’ve so wisely hired are prepping the place, make yourself look great. After all, you’re the centerpiece!
q: Hey girl!
When and where exactly is the party?
—buzzbuzz
a: Dear Buzz,
If you don’t know, then you probably weren’t invited. Sorry!
—GG
a: Dear Gossip Girl,
I work for this really cool fashion mag, and now we have an intern who’s getting all the credit for, like, major feature stories. Our editor so obvi loves her, which is super unfortch for the rest of us. It’s not like I’m jealy or anything, but she’s, like, eight years old. WTF?
—madddd
a: Dear M,
Sounds like there might indeed be a case of, um, jealy-ness going on. Regardless of the intern’s age, have you ever thought she just may have a better grasp of the English language than you?
—GG
B and some crazy-haired lady at a natural foods store in the village, stocking up on essential oils and bottles of green stuff that resembles mulch. Taking the green movement a little too literally?… O sucking K’s lips off near the Romeo and Juliet statue in Central Park. Symbolic, or convenient?… J and her sometimes besties, S.J., the other J, and G, in the VIP rooms of parties at Bungalow, the Eldridge, and Beatrice—all in the same night. It pays to have friends—or boyfriends—in high places!… A and her new mentor, Ticky Bensimmon-Heart, heading toward Ticky’s chauffeured Mercedes S-Class waiting outside the Dennen building. Looks like A’s acing her crash course in office politics…. R sitting with a Hacky Sack on a bench by the East Lawn, looking dejected, then heading home. Sad!
Now it’s time for a housekeeping rule of my own: No matter how fabulous my surroundings, it’s always my goal to make me more fabulous. So with that in mind, I’m heading to Cornelia Day Resort for an oxygen clarifying masque and a honey citrus body polish. Remember: A little cleanup goes a long way!
You know you love me,
gossip girl