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Lily looked around her home, so much smaller than the Shannons', yet it had comforts the other did not. She finished boiling her tea and sat in front of the fire. For the first time in weeks, she felt relaxed.
The tea was strong and warm, just like Edward. She smiled at the thought of him. Never in her life had she imagined marrying a man such as him. It was not just his money, which astounded her, it was the rest of him. His kindness, his generosity to her as well as to others... How had she ever thought that he only cared about money and not people? There could be nothing more contrary to his character.
There was just one problem. Her hand fell to her stomach and stayed there. She closed her eyes and imagined the child growing inside her. Would it be a girl or a boy? Possibly both? Hannah and Dewey were twins; why could she not have the same?
Perhaps she would go and see Mrs. Ashton tomorrow. She was a midwife and a good friend of Caroline's. Dr. Shannon knew quite a lot about delivering children, but Mrs. Ashton knew even more. She had probably delivered half of Blisspeak's children and might have some insight as to what sort of child Lily was carrying.
People said that the lower the child sat in your belly, the greater the chances it would be a boy. Or was it the other way around? She had a hard time keeping such things straight, but Mrs. Ashton would know.
There was a knock on her door. She knew at once it was Edward. She'd anticipated his arrival but had thought he'd come later. It was only just now seven. He knocked again, and she set her tea aside and went to let him in.
He entered her house and went directly to the couch, where he sat down then rose again just as quickly. He began pacing the room.
"Is everything all right?" she asked. "Have you heard from Detective Stone?"
"Not yet. His journey was a day or two, at least. He's probably not even arrived yet." He continued to pace.
"Then what is it?"
She went to him and cut off the path he was wearing in her floor. She laid one hand on his chest and he seemed to draw comfort from that.
"You're making me nervous," she told him.
He sighed. "I'm sorry." He looked around her house like it was a new thing to him, even though he'd been there at least a few times before. "I thought you'd still be at the Shannons’."
"I told you before leaving work today that I intended to come home."
"Yes, but I did not realize you meant tonight. I went there first."
"If Ray is gone from this world, then I have no more reason to fear him."
"I think it would be best if you returned to the Shannons’, for this evening at least. We have not yet heard back from Detective Stone. What if it was not Ray's body that was found?"
"Oh, but it must be."
"How can you know that?"
"Surely, God has punished me enough for whatever sins I've committed. He would not go so far as to toy with my emotions now and send me false hope."
Edward took hold of her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and pulling her close. "God has not been punishing you all these years. You've committed no sins worthy of Ray's anger or the pain he's caused you."
She felt tears prick at her eyes and fought to keep them at bay. Slowly, she nodded.
"Now then," he said, kissing the top of her head, "if you're right and Ray is dead, as the detective believes him to be, then I see no reason to postpone anything."
"Postpone?" Lily asked. "To what are you referring?"
"To our marriage, of course. I know we cannot officially go through with anything until the death certificate has been issued, but that does not mean we cannot begin planning things now."
Her eyes widened, and her heart began to flutter. "I know we've spoken of marriage more than once, but I... I did not really believe, or maybe I did, I just didn't think..." She bit her bottom lip. "Are you sure you wish to marry me?"
Edward kissed her tenderly. She tasted the sweetness of his lips and knew what honeybees must taste when collecting pollen from flowers. His body rocked against hers, pushing her gently to the couch while heating her insides. She dropped to the cushion, and he fell to one knee. Her heart hammered hard in her chest. Her breath hitched in her lungs.
"Lily Dickinson," he murmured softly, taking her hand in his, "or shall I call you Lily Dyer? The name you first gave me when we met." He paused and laughed, smiling seductively at her. Her hands were shaking. She couldn't let him do this. Not without telling him the truth first. Yet, she felt powerless to stop him. Her heart would simply not allow it. She wanted him too much.
"Edward, I—"
He placed one finger against her lips, quieting her, and it was enough to make her body tingle.
"Lily, whatever your name is or shall be matters little to me. I knew from the moment we first met that I wanted to make you mine. I didn't know then that we'd be going through so much together in such a short time, and I think the fact that we have survived it proves that we belong together. There is no woman I would rather grow old with."
He reached into his inner coat pocket and brought out a small black velvet box. She forgot to breathe. Her heart began beating wildly, erratically. Her lungs became desperate for air. Only when Edward squeezed her hand again was her body able to pull oxygen and her heart able to steady its beat.
"Will you make me the happiest of men by becoming my wife?"
He opened the box and a square-cut diamond set in a yellow-gold band shone back at her like a million stars. Tears overflowed her eyes, running down her cheeks and staining her dress.
"I... I..."
She wanted, more than anything, to say yes, but she knew she could not.
"I must tell you something before I give you my answer," she said, and Edward started. That was clearly not the response he'd anticipated.
"Whatever it is, it shall be yours."
She shook her head. "No, it has nothing to do with something I want or need, but something I have."
Her shoulders shook; her body rattled. Edward looked alarmed. He rose from his knee and moved to the couch, taking the cushion beside her. His arms wrapped instinctively around her, holding her tightly. In one hand, he continued to grip the velvet box, in his other, he took hers and kissed each finger.
"Lily," he said, worry in his voice now, "whatever it is, you can tell me. I swear to you that I shall stand by you. We have already been through so much together; there is nothing you can tell me that I cannot handle."
She wanted so much to believe him, so much to take comfort from his words, but she didn't dare. Not yet. His hand reached out and stroked her chin, petting her like she was a kitten. She nudged her head against his fingers and finally, the shaking subsided.
"Edward, I love you more than anything. Please remember that.”
"Of course."
She drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I..." She gulped at the air like a fish out of water, trying to find her breath. "I'm with child."
She held her breath now, waiting for his response, afraid to look at his face for fear he would not be looking at her with the same devotion he had but a moment before.
"You... are with child?" he said, slowly, as if the words were foreign to him.
She nodded and finally dared a look at him. His face was white as a sheet. Even his lips had turned pale. Slowly, he released her hand and stood up.
"How long have you known?" he asked, his voice croaking like a frog. He sounded as if she'd just punched him in the gut.
"Since the day you were first arrested." She licked her lips. "Remember how I fainted and you took me to Dr. Shannon's? When he examined me..."
Edward's lips curled up on one side. "You've known since then? How could you not have told me before now? Certainly, you must know that this changes everything."
The tears, which had abated slightly, resumed their course.
"Why must it?" she demanded, angry as well as hurt. "You know I want nothing to do with Ray."
"Yet you carry his child."
"The child cannot help who its father is."
Edward shot her a disdainful look.
She let out a sob. "So, because I carry Ray's child, you no longer love me? Does your love vanish so swiftly? Is it so frail that it cannot withstand this when it has withstood so much already?"
"I don't know," Edward muttered, and his words only angered her that much more.
"If you do not know, then perhaps it was not love you felt for me after all. There is a fine line between love and lust."
His head snapped up. His eyes were burning. "It is not just lust I've felt for you these last few weeks."
"Then yours is such a frail love that the slightest thing may break it. Or is it your pride that hurts us now? It is not the child you cannot abide, it is the fact that you can do nothing to change it."
His face hardened. "Or perhaps it is the lies that you've told me. You've sworn you loved me over and over again, yet you withheld this from me. You made me think and feel things for you that I've never felt before, yet you were deceiving me the whole time."
Lily did not think she could stand another second of this. Any more pain and her heart was sure to break in two. "I was scared," she said.
He stared at her a long moment. "I've had enough lies for one lifetime. I don't want to see you again."
He left her house, and Lily sank into the couch where she cried herself to sleep.
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