I recently interviewed the famed author and former editor of the Harvard Business Review, Karen Dillon. Besides writing several of her own books, she’s coauthored three with Harvard Professor Clayton Christensen. My favorite is How Will You Measure Your Life? This ingenious tome is a must-add to your reading list. The authors brilliantly apply innovative business principles to our personal lives.

I found it compelling, thought-provoking, and actionable. For example, the authors define humility as being grounded in confidence. Humble people are secure in their self-esteem and their capabilities. There’s no need for hubris, puffery, or defensiveness. They show their humility through their confidence. Deep, huh?

…my mentor Chuck Farnsworth and an empowering concept he termed “pre-forgiveness.” Essentially, it means: You're pre-forgiven. You will make mistakes. It's part of each of our journeys. If we live in fear of making a misstep, we won't place any bets, take any risks, or stretch our skills.

In my experience, humble (i.e., confident) people find it remarkably easy to right wrongs, especially by apologizing to others. They quickly repair any damage caused by their actions or words. I suspect it’s almost effortless for them, because they feel no need to defend or contextualize. Being wrong or vulnerable doesn’t make them weaker. Quite the opposite.

But that’s not the way the world sees it. And in the fledgling days of my career, it wasn’t the point of view I started with either. Just so you know, I’m the guy who purchased “I’m Sorry” cards in bulk. There are psychological incentives for not apologizing. According to researchers, refusing to apologize can make you feel more empowered and in control. Ironically, these feelings often drive an even higher sense of self-worth and personal integrity. I bought into that—hook, line, and sinker.

Fast-forward a few years to my mentor Chuck Farnsworth and an empowering concept he termed “pre-forgiveness.” Essentially, it means: You’re pre-forgiven. You will make mistakes. It’s part of each of our journeys. If we live in fear of making a misstep, we won’t place any bets, take any risks, or stretch our skills.

I felt completely empowered to be working for him. And what leader wouldn’t want a team who felt that way? Is it any mystery that his team had some of the lowest turnover in the organization? Chuck decided to pre-forgive in his mind (and yes, heart), and he communicated it to his team. If you want to reduce the time and effort it takes to right wrongs, announce that you’ve pre-forgiven any missteps, hurtful remarks, insensitive communications, or errors in judgment that might occur. That doesn’t mean people get a free pass for bad behavior, but rather you acknowledge that everyone falls short, and it’s okay.

When righting wrongs, it’s remarkably disarming to take full responsibility. I’m amazed at the speed with which the aggrieved person lets go of their pent-up anger or resentment. Nothing neutralizes anger more than a sincere, excuse-free apology and an action to correct the situation. Consider some version of the following when you find yourself having wronged someone:

“I want to tell you something very important. I’m truly sorry for the way I behaved. I was wrong. I own it. I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me, and I intend to make a sincere effort to ensure I don’t ever do that to you again or to anyone else. I have learned a hard and valuable lesson, sadly at your expense, and I want you to know how seriously I am taking it. Furthermore, I intend to take [fill in the blank] action to make it right between us. Is that something you would value, or do you have a better suggestion I should consider?”

The best leaders know how to right wrongs. If you start out by saying, “Mistakes were made” or “My bad,” you’ve gone off the track. Righting wrongs starts from a place of humility and is communicated through personal responsibility. As with most acts of leadership, it’s easier for us authors to offer some uplifting words than for you to actually go back and implement it with people in your life. Like peppermint schnapps on New Year’s Eve: start small and work your way up.