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Elizabeth raced into the courtyard when she heard her uncle’s carriage pull up. She had so longed to see her Aunt and Uncle Gardner, especially because they’d been promising to take her on a country tour. She snarled when she saw her mother and sisters were already welcoming the Gardners. She’d always been her aunt and uncle’s favorite and she’d rip the throat out of any sister who dared try to usurp her.
Mrs. Bennet clasped her hands to her chest, her eyes glowing red underneath the pale moon light, as her brother and his wife disembarked from his carriage.
Elizabeth’s uncle, a middle-aged, rotund and slightly balding fellow, always wore an infectious grin. Not like Mr. Collins’ sniveling smile, but more like the warm smile of the friendly neighborhood pedophile. His wife, a skinny, pale women with thinning blonde tufts of hair, wore her weight in perfume and makeup, most likely in an effort to conceal her true age, as Botox and fine line minimizer had yet to be invented.
“Dear brother,” Mrs. Bennet asked. “How are you?”
Mr. Gardner rolled his eyes before allowing his sister to wrap him in a hug. “Not well since your blood-sucking family turned my family into vampires.” He pushed himself out of her embrace and smoothed down the wrinkles on his vest. “Thank goodness the London streets are teeming with orphans and whores.”
Mrs. Bennet sighed. “Yes, you are very lucky to be living in London.”
“But their blood all tastes of chimney soot and gonorrhea.” Mr. Gardner scowled.
Mrs. Gardner offered her husband a consoling pat on the back. “Mr. Gardner and I were hoping for some fresh county blood to cleanse our palates.” Mrs. Gardner turned to Elizabeth, and her dark red eyes lit with mischief. “Elizabeth, are you up for a jaunt about the country? You are so good at luring small children.”
“What a novel idea.” Elizabeth nearly jumped out of her boots as she patted her hungry tummy. Turned out Mr. Collins had been mostly hot air and didn’t make for a very filling meal. “I just need to pack my coat, my gloves, my heavy scarf and some 100 spf sunblock.”
“Indeed.” Her uncle wagged a finger before turning a frown. “You wouldn’t want to sparkle. It’s most unsightly.”
“Not to mention stupid,” Mrs. Gardner added.
“Where shall we travel?” Elizabeth asked.
Mrs. Gardner’s eyes lit up, not just the typical ominous red glow of a vampire, but Elizabeth sensed her aunt’s eyes were shining with a wistful pride.
“Derbyshire,” Mrs. Gardner answered. “My ancestral home. You will love its wild beauty. And there is a very old, grand tree by the smithy.”
“Save it, Aunt.” Elizabeth held up a silencing palm. “I don’t give a shit about a tree. Are there orphans?”
“Yes.” Mrs. Gardner nodded a little too eagerly. “The largest orphanage in all of England is not five miles from Derbyshire.”
Elizabeth rubbed her hands together while licking her lips. “Now you’re talking.”