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Julia watched Grace roam the room. “What is it?”
Grace spun from where she’d stopped to touch a polished rock on the bookshelf. “Do you ever wish you knew less?”
Julia tipped her head. It was odd to see Grace so unsettled yet again. “No. I like the control that comes with knowledge.”
“I once hid from my own memories. Years ago. Used medication.”
“You’ve told me that story, and believe me, in your shoes I’d have likely done the same. But what is it today, Grace?”
She sighed, dropped into a chair across the desk from Julia. “Logan asked me to do a deep search on Gerald, Bud, and Broughton.”
“Broughton?”
“Yeah, surprised me at first, too, but not once I thought about his secretive nature, the way he lived all those years in a shack on the edge of reservation land. That he’d worked undercover for so long, trying to get enough information on Rollins for the Bureau to justify tossing him.”
“Logan suspects Broughton is involved with Rollins?”
“Logan and James think one of the three in question is how Bellows knew exactly where Rollins was.”
“If you’d asked me ten minutes ago whether James trusted Broughton, I’d have said yes, unreservedly.”
“Yeah, that’s what Logan said. Why he was hoping the search would come up clean.”
Julia’s stomach sank. “But it didn’t.”
“Nail on the head.”
She thought about Broughton having free run of her house, access to the children, the security systems, everything.
“But the crazy thing? I found something on all of them.”
“Connected?”
“Yes, but not directly to each other.” She shoved her fingers through her hair and then tugged on it. Hard. “I desperately want to make a judgement call here.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t believe some of the information I dug up is relevant.”
Julia leaned back in her chair and glanced up at the ceiling. Too bright to see the stars right now. But she knew they were there. The information Grace had would be like that. Even if it wasn’t pertinent, if Grace shared it, they’d always know it was there. Who was she kidding? Just knowing there was something would always be with her now.
“You have to tell Logan. He has the lives of others in his hands. That’s why he asked you to investigate.” She met Grace’s gaze. “You have no choice.”
She sighed. “I know. I guess I always did, but it doesn’t make it any easier to know that, either. Or the fact I’d even consider keeping something from Logan. What does that make me?”
Julia smiled. “Human. We all are. In spite of the work we do, and the special gifts we have, we’re still flesh and bone, capable of great things, and of mistakes.”
“Sometimes, inside, we’re a lot less than what others think we are.”
Julia nodded. “Sometimes we’re a lot more. Remember that.”
She managed a weak smile. “I could do with less of the empathy thing today.”
Julia’s smile was heartfelt. “No, then you’d be me, instead of you.”
“You’re not without empathy.”
“Not entirely, but I can get caught up and forget to think of others’ needs sometimes.”
“And just as often your own.”
“Which makes me less like Kelton.”
Grace frowned, but then the worry on her face suddenly faded. “There’s Logan now.”
Julia got up and pushed her chair to the desk. “I’ll leave you with him, and go visit Alexandra for a while.” She touched Grace’s shoulder when she passed.
***
Alex was so tired. But she’d made headway. Could flex her calf muscles. And who knew that would ever be such a huge goal?
Life was so different now from anything she’d ever known. The only similarity was being goal-driven. She always had a goal, and right now it was to get her life back.
What they hoped was the antidote would be arriving soon, but before they could give it to her, it had to be tested for its reaction with the combination of chemicals in Alex’s system.
No way she’d just lie around and wait, even if there had been a guarantee. Instead, she’d keep working on getting back some movement on her own. Dhillon had pushed her to believe, and she was glad for his tenacity. Well, now, at least. But at the time she’d been, what? Annoyed? No, maybe aggravated. Yeah, that was a good word for the frustration combined with a measure of pissyness.
“Hello, Alexandra, Eve.”
“Hi, Mom.”
“How’s it going?”
“No one has any memory of a bright green liquid in any of the ETC labs. All we can do now is await its arrival and begin testing. I’ve taken blood from Alexandra already, so we can begin the minute it gets here.”
It was good that leveler heads than hers were in charge here, making sure everything was done in the proper order, because if it was up to Alex, she’d just guzzle some of the stuff and hope for the best. Or would if she could swallow.
Very unscientific for a vet, but she’d reached a level of desperation she hadn’t known even existed, and that in itself was almost as unsettling as the tubes dealing with her bodily functions.
“I’ll sit with Alexandra for a while, if you’d like a break.”
“Maybe I’ll join Dhillon. He’s just left to give the dogs a run.”
How are you Alexandra?
Hmm. Bored, frustrated, grateful, and hopeful. There’s more, but I’m sure you weren’t looking for an essay answer.
Julia smiled. You sound strong today.
I feel strong, actually. Dhillon and I worked on getting my calf muscles to respond to my head, and it felt good. He has such positive energy, you can’t feel anything but good when he’s around. So yeah, I always feel better for his influence.
Wasn’t often she felt a connection with anyone, and least of all a child. Dhillon was something of a man-child. Thirteen going on forty, and oh, so wise. Alex had worked on a few horses over the years that she called old souls, and Dhillon reminded her of them. His silence was deep and meaningful, yet there was an overlying playfulness about him, like a gangly puppy. And yes, that aggravation factor that was almost endearing.
He’s quite a cheerleader.
He won’t let me give up. Oh, sometimes I feel like clouting him for his optimism, but it’s perfect, and exactly what I need. One Debbie Downer in the group, and I’d be lying here trying to figure out how to smother myself with a pillow.
Interesting concept.
All I’d have to do is roll over.
And if you could roll over? You‘d be climbing out of this bed and getting on with your life. Speaking of which, what will you do once you’re upright again?
Go home, get back to work.
You love what you do, your clients? Nothing you’re going to do differently since you’re getting something of a fresh start?
She’d thought about that. Hell, all she’d been able to do was think for days now, or at least when she wasn’t being poked and prodded and egged on to try harder. She was sure she’d always hear an echo of Dhillon’s, Come ON! She felt a chuckle dying for release.
Laugh. I’m going to laugh more, because I really miss laughing. I feel it inside, but I need the sound, the physical release, and the way a wide grin makes my cheeks hurt. And I’m going to take vacations. I tend to be a workaholic. Work’s all I do. Well, I run, but that’s just to counteract all the hours in the truck going from farm to farm. Now I want to feel my feet hitting the ground and the muscles burning, and sweat. I want the itchy discomfort of sweat running down my back.
Imagining all of it was good, but nothing like the reality she longed for.
Sounds like you’ve learned a lot from this experience. Is there anything you’ll miss?
Oh boy, was there. She was already missing Broughton. His touch, his voice, especially when it lowered so only she could hear him. And his eyes. The way the color darkened or lightened with his mood, or his attitude. His mouth. He thought she was asleep once and pressed a kiss to her forehead when he left. She’d never forget that. Wanted more.
Merlin. I’ll miss having a talking cat around to keep me on the straight and narrow. He’s so damn funny. And I’ll miss everyone here, especially Eve. She tends to me like it’s no big deal, so kind and quiet. She spends hours in here working, and it never feels like she’s wishing she was somewhere else. And then there’s you and Grace. When my mom passed away, I missed the sound of her voice, her laugh, and you have some of that. Grace, too. I guess the word is familiar. You seem familiar.
Which makes perfect sense, Alexandra. We are family. This whole motley bunch belongs to you, and you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you like. Between our herd and the horses at Haven, we could probably keep you busy, too. But if you have to go, at least visit. You’re welcome here anytime. It’s a good place to relax. And if you want activity, there’s riding, hiking, some mountain bike trails now, and, of course, swimming.
I’ll definitely take you up on that. Knowing I can come back to visit will make it easier to leave when it’s time. I think I’ll visit Argentina as well, to explore more of my heritage.
***
James didn’t like the grim expression on Logan’s face when he said he was going for a walk. Hadn’t sounded like he wanted company, so James would give him some space. For a while. But he needed to know what Grace had told him.
Twenty minutes later James went out and found Logan just starting back. “Did you work out whatever it was?”
Logan shook his head. “It’s odd. Grace didn’t want to tell me, and now I don’t want to tell you. But it’s not actually that big a deal.
“So spill.”
“It’s a privacy thing. I’ll tell you what she found out about Gerald, but I’m going to ask Broughton to tell you his story.”
“Why don’t I do that now?”
James was slipping if he hadn’t heard a man limping up behind him.
“Wind was in your face,” said Broughton. “And I stayed in the soft snow, but yeah, that wouldn’t have mattered five years ago.”
Even two. The thought of retirement poked at him again like an unanswered question.
Broughton started to walk the freshly cleared runway, and the other two fell into step.
“I was fifteen. My dad was working undercover. Deep under. For all intents and purposes, he was a Minnow. He’d been sent in to learn the structure, the hierarchy, so law enforcement could take aim on the upper rungs. No point fighting anything like a gang from the bottom up.
“He came home very late one night, and I heard my mom begging him to tell her what was wrong.
“I crept down the hall and saw my dad hunched over in a chair with his face in his hands, crying. When he got a grip, he told her we were going to have to run. Turned out he’d been set up to be one of the triggers in an execution the next day. Apparently, to this point he’d done everything asked of him, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t, kill someone. He was scared. And that scared me, but it pissed me off, too. He was my dad, a powerful cop. He wasn’t supposed to be afraid, make us afraid. He was supposed to fix things, make them better.”
James had an inkling of where this was going, and it made him sad. So many lives affected that day. So many good people changed forever.
“He’d planned to go to his boss—his FBI contact—first thing in the morning, then come and get us before noon. We were all packed up and ready to go, but he never came, and my mom broke down, told me everything I’d already heard the night before. She was terrified that he’d been found out, killed. So she sent me to her parents’ house. Told me to stay there until she came for me. I biked the six blocks, in spite of knowing in my gut I shouldn’t leave her. But she insisted I go. She would wait for him and be fine. Then they’d come and get me.”
He shook his head. “I never saw her again. My grandparents packed us up in the middle of the night, and we moved to the other side of the country, where I finished high school before setting out to find my dad. I combed homeless shelters, because he’d told me once that they were the perfect place to hide in plain sight, and get a decent meal every day. I finally found him in Vancouver, Canada. Took me a week to dry him out, and I don’t mean from the rain. That’s when I got the story. One I needed to hear, then wished I hadn’t.”
James wanted to stop him, couldn’t.
“He’d gone to his handler, his boss, and told him about the situation, about being set up to play the part of executioner that afternoon. Dad was sent downtown to meet with a man who would relocate him and his family to another town, but on the way there, he was picked up by the Minnows. Informed that they had my mom, and if he ever wanted to see her alive again, he’d do what he was told.” Broughton stabbed his fingers through his hair, then his arms dropped to his side.
“The Minnows always used two shooters. Dad’s was one of two bullets that killed the man in the barn. The execution ordered by Rollins and witnessed by Angie’s husband Matt when he was a child.”
“The victim was Agent Price’s uncle.” When Amelia Price recognized Rollins as the bad cop her uncle had been a snitch for, she did everything she could to stay far, far, away from the man who spotted and threatened her, but she’d recently agreed to testify against him.
“Yes. When I found out her connection, I watched over her, tried to keep her safe from Rollins.”
“Your dad would be proud.”
He shrugged. “Back on that night, out of the blue, Rollins ordered a second hit. Sent them out to a sand pit to kill the other man—Kelton’s brother. But Rollins didn’t go with them, so my dad didn’t fire his weapon, and the other guy must have been a bad shot, which is why the victim didn’t die right away. Why he suffered. Why Kelton is batshit crazy now.”
“Your mom?”
“Found her remains eventually. Buried her properly.”
“Your dad?”
“He liked Vancouver, and was determined to stay there, so I set him up with an apartment and a bank account so I could make monthly deposits, but when I was ready to leave for boot camp he asked me not to come back. Said he didn’t want to be a burden, nor did he want the reminder of what he’d done.” Blinking, Broughton looked around like he’d just woken up from a confusing dream.
“There’s more.” James kept his voice low. “Finish it out, so you can put it away.
“He went back to street life. I claimed his body thirteen years ago. Buried him beside my mother, where he belonged.”
“You’re a good son. He’d be proud of you. They both would.”
The three of them walked in silence to the end of the runway, then turned back.
“You wouldn’t leak information to Bellows.”
“You’re right about that. But I know who would.”
“Gerald,” said James, and Broughton nodded.
“I’ve caught him in a couple of lies. For one, he said he’d never met the two agents we have in custody.”
“Want his story now?” asked Logan.
“Sure.”
“Bright, young, up-and-coming agent, fast-tracked a couple of times, and finds himself under the command of Rollins. He puts together a brilliant case against some of the upper echelon Minnows, and presents it to his boss, expecting admiration and another promotion. Rollins is livid because Gerald wasn’t assigned to investigate the Minnows, and they were currently protected, because the bureau was after the head man—and of course we know now Rollins was that man. The kid then takes exception to having his ears pinned back, and goes to Rollins’s superior, alleging mistreatment. Rollins is forced to defend himself, and turns Gerald into a desk jockey. No field work, not picked to be on any of the teams. He’s assigned grunt jobs equivalent to filing and online research.”
“Ouch,” said Broughton. “That’s about when I came on board, and by then, Gerald was an angry young man, always skulking around the office.”
Logan continued. “Rollins eventually sent him on his way after a couple of poor performance reports.”
“That’s it?” James shook his head. “Pussy.”
They were getting closer to the cabins, so James needed to wrap this up quickly. “From now on, he’s never to be left alone with Rollins.”
Broughton’s hands shot across in front of both men. “Just one problem with that.”
The tiny hairs on the back of James’s neck bristled. Oh, hell.
He turned to see Nathan and Tyler marching toward them, grinning. “Figured we’d get some air too, and Gerald was good with babysitting Rollins.”
Fuck. James took off running, Logan sprinting at his side, while Broughton struggled to keep up. But all three knew they’d be too late, and the mission was about to go sideways.