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Tessa
Not more than a week had passed by since Tessa’s last contemplative drive through Bride. The anxiety was high again but for different reasons. She didn’t want to return the last time and now she didn’t want to leave. She glanced around the sidewalks and businesses as she passed. Where would he go?
Nathan bounced in the seat beside her, straining against his seatbelt as he tried to see over the doorsill. “Which guy are you going with? Will I like him?”
Tessa didn’t know how to break it to her son that finding a dad and husband wasn’t as easy as window shopping.
Pulling into the parking spots of the law offices, Tessa peered toward the window. A large “Closed” sign set at an angle showed no one was in the building. He wasn’t there. She got out and walked around the back to knock on the door, but no one answered.
She returned to the car and flopped into the driver’s seat.
Where would he go? What if she failed at getting JJ? She’d have to tell Nathan that he wasn’t getting a dad. Curse her big mouth.
They circled the town, searching the streets along the outside of the town first and then moving closer to the center.
Her desperation mounted. If she had to, Tessa would jump through the fountain in the center of Bride’s town square. She’d put all the legends and myths to use and combine them all, just to see if she could find JJ and have another chance with him.
Pulling up to Two Cups on the corner of Main, Tessa slid into the first open spot she saw. Climbing from the car, she ducked her head to see Nathan still in the seat. “Come on, Nathan. Let's go see the fountain.” She would tell him about JJ’s role as his father there. She’d have a lot of explaining to do. How much would he understand? How much did she tell him?
He didn't ask questions as he bounded out and followed behind her. Nathan skipped along the sidewalk until he came to the crosswalk where he jumped from faded white rectangle to faded white rectangle painted on the black asphalt.
Tessa’s own hope seemed to fade the further she got from the car. Reaching into her pocket, she fingered two quarters. The wishes would be expensive ones but that would work just fine. Maybe the more they threw in, the more weight their wishes would carry. Tessa needed all the help she could get.
The fountain and statue were centered in a grassy park area surrounded with benches and flowers. Ellora lorded it over the town with her graceful form and the bronze dress blowing in an eternal breeze.
Tessa and Nathan approached Ellora. Tessa reached down and handed Nathan a quarter. She pointed toward the clear waters under the town’s founder. “Let's go make a wish.”
Running through the water naked wasn’t appropriate for the middle of the day, but Tessa was tempted. For all intents and purposes, throwing the coins in would help with the luck the town believed so fully in. Whenever Tessa had seen Ellora’s statue with its bronze shape and sturdy form, she’d been filled with an all-consuming hope. That hope overwrote her wistfulness now and she knew she just had to have faith.
Was her faith strong enough to change their life?
Standing at the cement edge of the natural spring fountain, Tessa glanced up at the optimistic expression formed in Ellora’s statue. “Just throw the quarter in and make wish while it sinks.” She glanced at Nathan, winking when he looked to her for reassurance.
To show how to do it, Tessa tossed her coin in, wishing hard to be able to find JJ and get her chance back. Nathan watched, then copied her actions, closing his eyes as he wished to himself.
Their coins sank beneath the surface and Tessa hoped that whoever was listening would help their wishes come true. They needed all the Bride luck they could get.
Her excitement faded. She’d given in to the lure of easy wishing. Throwing money into the fountain wasn’t going to fix her mistakes or find her JJ. Defeat pulled at her shoulders and she slouched forward, rubbing her forehead. What was she doing? Procrastinating?
She had to tell Nathan the truth. He was waiting to find a man that Tessa might have run off.
Turning, she took Nathan by the shoulders until he faced her. She squatted to take a seat on the edge of the fountain. “Nathan, honey, I need to tell you something.” She licked her lips. What was she... no, she could do it. “You’ve already met your dad.”
Nathan narrowed his eyes. “I have?” He ran through the men he’d met in his mind – which wasn’t many – and he knit his eyebrows. “Who? He didn’t like me?”
Poor boy. Tessa had put the blame on herself, too, when she’d been growing up. Anytime anything had come up about her father, she’d jumped to the conclusion that he’d left because of her.
Shaking her head, she wiped at Nathan’s suddenly present tears. “No, he didn’t leave. I pushed him away. He likes you very much. I would even say he loves you. He always wanted you. He still wants you. I left. This was all my fault. I’m trying to fix it, Nathan. I’m trying to make this right. When we find him, I’ll beg him to take me back, take us.” An ache throbbed in her chest as she watched emotions from confusion to sadness and then anger muddled up the innocence on his face. “Your dad is Jeremiah Jackson. He’s been your dad all this time – even before we came back to Bride.”
Disbelief and wonder widened her son’s eyes. He grabbed her hand. “Mom, we have to find him. I knew he should be my dad. I knew it! Please, we have to find him.” He tugged on her arm, but he didn’t know where to go either.
Just out of the periphery of her vision the edge of a bench protruded from the side of a flowering bush. “Let’s sit on the bench and see what we come up with. I know if we work together, we can figure out what to do.” She had to include him. This was his life, too.
They walked thoughtfully around the bushes, taking in the sunny outdoors and the seemingly happy spring day. Nothing seemed to be right. How could there be such a bright day in the world when Tessa might have ruined everything?
She glanced up as they approached the bench and stopped. Her chest swelled as she claimed a long, unbelieving breath. She blinked, unsure just what to do.
JJ sat on the bench, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. His head hung low as he seemed to study the pattern on his cowboy boots.
Could it be that simple? Throw in a coin and there he was? She didn’t want to move or startle him in case he suddenly disappeared. He could be an apparition of her own longing.
Nathan’s slight gasp beside her spurred her forward. His enthusiasm and instant acceptance of JJ’s place in their life humbled her.
Tessa swallowed, stepping toward JJ as she suddenly wanted to be anywhere but there. She reached into her back pocket and pinched the paper for reassurance and luck. She didn’t want to end up like her mom. She wanted to be happy. She wanted love. She wanted to set her pride aside and get what she wanted.
She could do that.
Only feet away, Nathan’s voice burst through the spring day silence. He broke from Tessa’s grasp and rushed to JJ’s side. He tugged on JJ’s jacket. “You're here! You're here! We just wished for you. Well, I wished for a dad, but I wished he was you. Mom said you are my dad.” Nathan bit his lip, then continued. “She said you always wanted me. Do you still want me?”
JJ jerked his gaze up, leaning back. Surprise etched in the soft lines of his strong features. He placed his arm around Nathan’s shoulder and nodded, his expression tightly controlled. “Yeah, buddy. I always wanted you. I want you even more now that I know you.” He glanced from Nathan to Tessa, tears in his eyes. “Why are you here? I can’t believe you finally told him.” Gratitude banished any anger from his face.
Holding back her own overwhelming emotion, Tessa shrugged. “Ellora called to me.”
JJ looked from her to the statue and then back at Nathan. He swallowed, his expression settling into resolution. “Are you leaving? You got packed that fast? Now, you’re leaving... Again?”
But Tessa didn't rise to the bait. He had every right to be upset and doubtful. She hadn’t given him any reason to have faith. “No, I'm chasing you. I'm leaving my pride behind.”
JJ’s eyebrows pulled together. He was confused and Tessa knew it. She didn't really care. Everything would clear up. She’d make sure of that. She had Ellora watching over her.
“You're not the only one who was hurt that day. It was the hardest thing for me to do. I thought I was doing it for you. I thought... I thought it would be better.” She blinked back tears, and pressed onward. She could do it. She’d already started. “But, not having you in my life has been the worst thing ever. I was scared to come back. If I leave now, I won't survive.”
Nathan's gaze volleyed between JJ and Tessa. His hope was overwhelming as he waited for adults to decide his future.
JJ searched Tessa’s face. She almost couldn’t breathe. He had every reason to say no. He had every reason to walk away and not look back. Hopefully, Tessa and Nathan were enough to stay and fight for, but her own insecurities and doubts put an inkling of dread into her stomach.
After a moment, JJ took Tessa’s hand in his and held it to his chest where the steady thud of his heart beat pulsed against her hand. “Can I tell him?” Without breaking contact with Tessa, JJ drew Nathan into their embrace. He drew Tessa to kneel beside him in front of Nathan and pulled his son into a father-son hug with both arms. He pulled Tessa close until he had them both in his embrace.
“Ellora’s looking out for us.” JJ pulled back, glancing at the statue. After another second, he stood, pulling them with him. “Let’s do it!” He grabbed both of their arms and tugged them toward the fountain.
“What?” Tessa laughed, giving into his pull and following him toward the fountain.
“Ellora. We need her approval. She’s given us luck and now we’re going to do a good luck dance for the whole town. If we can find our happily-ever-after, Tess, the whole town needs to be able to.” He looked back at Tessa with more optimism than she’d ever seen on his face. For a second, she could imagine how he must have looked waiting for her at the altar.
At the edge of the fountain, JJ picked Nathan up and placed him in the water on the opposite side of the ledge. He followed suit, splashing as he jumped into the knee high depth. Holding out a hand to Tessa, JJ teased her. “If you do this, it's as good as saying ‘I do.’ You're in it for the long haul. I won’t let you quit and I won’t let you leave me. We’re in this... for good.” He searched her face, Nathan splashing and squealing in the background.
Tessa didn't even hesitate. She took his arm and jumped fully clothed into the cool spring water. Like a baptism of sorts, she let the moment cleanse the pain in her heart. They would be able to move on and find happiness together. The three of them and anymore that came along.
Everyone holding hands, the trio danced in a circle. Sunlight sparkled on the droplets flinging around them. After a few minutes, they stopped.
Nathan bent down to grab a penny and twirled in the water.
JJ didn’t wait any longer. He folded Tessa into his arms, pulling her close in a long needed embrace. He bent his head and pierced her with his gaze. “I can’t lose you again. You’re my everything, Tessa.”
Lacing her fingers up behind his neck, she shook her head softly. “I’m not going anywhere. I need you. I love you, Jeremiah.”
Something broke in his gaze and he lowered his lips to hers. The kiss was warm and soft and demanded more.
The moment was better than coming home.