It’s an awkward walk through the hospital lobby with our ragtag little crew. As Ari and I follow the nurse pushing Willa’s wheelchair, we draw several odd looks from everyone we pass.
People gawk at Ari, who’s in pajamas; the fins of her fish slippers flapping around as she walks. Willa gets curious stares due to the numerous red cuts on her exposed arms. I draw the most ire from the curious crowd. Those we pass assume I’m responsible for Willa’s injuries and look at me with scorn.
Fortunately, Willa doesn’t seem to notice the attention we’re getting. Ari is oblivious to those around us, and I just don’t give a rat’s ass about what people think.
When we arrive at the main entrance, Mike’s already outside, waiting by his cruiser, having gone ahead to bring the car around. He steps forward when he sees us, which causes the automatic doors to open, letting in a blast of icy-cold air.
Besides Mike, none of us have coats, and Willa doesn’t even have shoes. I wrap Ari in the blanket she’s holding and carry her outside to the waiting car. Mike takes off his coat and places it on Willa to offer her the warmth that the thin scrubs can’t.
Within seconds, we’re all in the car and heading toward Lydia. During the ride, each of us is lost to our own thoughts, even Ari. Normally, the quiet doesn’t bother me, but I know Willa is worrying herself to death, and I have to do something to stop it. “Mike, can you have one of your deputies go get some of Willa’s clothes and things from her house?”
He would have already thought about that. I’m just trying to give Willa something to focus on besides her self-doubt.
“We can manage that. Willa, we kept your keys to have access to your car. If it’s all right with you, I’ll send someone now.”
“Yes, please.”
Mike picks up his radio. “Anna, who’s around Lydia right now?”
“Nobody, Sheriff, but Harry just came on.”
“Good. Have him take Ms. Castle’s keys and… better yet, you put him at your desk, and you take his cruiser to Ms. Castle’s house. I want you to gather clothes, shoes, soaps, and… stuff. Bring it back to the station when you’re done.”
“You got it, Sheriff.”
Looking at our passengers in his mirror, Mike asks, “Willa, are there any medications or special things you’ll need?”
“No. Thank you.”
He gives her a nod and glances briefly at me. “Chris, I’ve got to check on some things as soon as I get back. To save me some time, I’ll need you to get your bike when we stop at the station. We’ll follow you to the cabin. That way, I can just drop Willa and Ari off and won’t have to wait around to give you a ride back into town.”
“That sounds good.”
Mike makes eye contact with Willa again. “I’ll have Michele come by later with some food and things.”
“Thank you,” she meekly says again.
When we finally arrive at the small county station, Mike drives around back and parks right beside my bike. Damn. I bite my tongue as I get a look at Betty for the first time. The left side is chewed up pretty bad. The saddlebag is busted, the handlebar grip is destroyed, the mirror is gone, and the tip of the brake handle is broken off. Thankfully, the crash bars I installed protected the engine and tank… and my leg.
As much as it’ll cost to fix Betty, the damage doesn’t upset me like I expected. It was either Betty or Ari. Seeing the carnage inflicted on the bike has me taking stock of my own body for the first time since this started. My armored jeans definitely took a beating. I’m sure my jacket did as well, but since I have no idea where it is, I can’t check.
All I know is that I’m glad I took the time to change into proper gear when all I wanted to do was race up here. I guess that’s why real riders always say, Dress for the slide, not for the ride.
While I’m looking me and the bike over, Mike walks up, holding my helmet, which is no longer a pristine, glossy black. He hands me my jacket and keys as well. Yep, the left arm of the armored jacket shows quite a bit of abuse. I can’t even imagine what shape I’d be in if I hadn’t been wearing the protective gear.
Standing next to me looking at the damage, Mike lets out a low whistle. “Betty deserves a purple heart for this.” I slowly turn my head to see the biggest grin on his face. “Jackass,” I say with a smile of my own.
Just then, the station’s back door opens, and Thomas walks out carrying two large suitcases. The station secretary, dispatcher, and mother-figure-to-all-in-uniform, Anna, is following with three smaller totes. While they load the bags in the back of the cruiser, I don my jacket and helmet, then climb on the bike. Just before I crank Betty’s engine, I lean down and pat her tank, whispering, “You did good, girl.”
Without waiting for Mike, I pull out of the station lot and take the direct route to the cabin through Lydia instead of the winding mountain road I took last night.
Three miles into the trip, my phone is ringing. I glance at the phone mounted on the handlebars and sigh. Commander O’Reilly. Shit. My Bluetooth system auto answers the call. “Lieutenant Hill.”
“Lieutenant, I need you back at Little Creek. How soon can you be here?” Dammit. Not now!
“Five hours, sir.”
“Can you make it sooner?”
“At minimum, I have four hours of driving, and I haven’t been able to shower since Turkey.”
“Damn, Fish. What have you gotten into?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Well, make it four, and I’ll hand out gas masks. We found the Vlastvuy, and I want her taken while she’s loaded.”
“Four hours, Commander.” Dammit! If that isn’t shit for timing, I don’t know what is. Gunning the bike’s engine, I speed the rest of the way to the cabin.
Pulling in the tree-lined driveway, I sigh as I come to a stop. This cabin is my solace. Where I go to escape the rest of the world. It’s smaller than my house in Virginia Beach, but it’s quiet and private, and I love it.
I’ve put a lot of work into it over the years. The kitchen and bathrooms aren’t ultra-modern, but they have been updated. The rest is stone, glass, and timber. The roof of the front patio is supported by tree trunk columns that I can’t reach around. The entire right side is glass to view the mountain and stream that curve around the property.
And now, I’ll barely get to glance at it since I have to rush back to base.
The first thing I do when I go inside is to turn on the furnace. I normally just use the fireplace for heat, but that will be a lot of work for an injured woman and a small child. After turning on the heat, I check the rest of the house inside and out.
Everything seems to be in order, but then it should be since I pay one of the local resort management companies to keep an eye on the place. Eyeing the pile of firewood, I grab an armload and take it in the house. The wood holder is mostly full, but I go out for more anyway to save Willa the trouble.
As I’m walking up the front steps with another load of firewood, Mike’s cruiser pulls into view. I rush to take the wood in the house and go back out to meet the car. The cruiser comes to a stop, and I motion Mike over when he steps out. “What’s that look for?” he asks with a raised brow when he reaches the front of the car.
“I just got called in.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.” Needing to reassure myself without insinuating anything, I chew on a thought before I voice it. “She’ll be completely off-grid, right? I mean, don’t even let her send her credit card with someone to buy food.”
Mike glares at me with a look that says I insinuated plenty. “Come on, man. Give me a little credit. I’ve been sheriff as long as you’ve been a frog.”
“I know. It’s just that… she’s not going to willingly accept help, though. And I don’t like this. I just…” I stop my explanation because I’m not even sure what it is that I don’t like besides the fact that a mother and child were tortured.
Moving so that Mike is between the car and me, I pull out my wallet and hand him the five hundred in cash that I have on me. “Take care of them for me till I get back.”
Mike’s face goes from offended to disbelieving. “For you? Unless I missed something, they’re not yours. What’s going on, Chris?”
Rubbing a frustrated hand over my head, I answer, “I don’t know. Just a bad feeling, I guess.”
“Yeah, you and me both.” Motioning to the back of his car, he says, “Come on. We’d better let them out before Willa gets antsy.”
Mike walks to the back and opens the trunk of the squad car as I open the door to the back seat. Looking down at Willa’s feet, I remember she doesn’t have any shoes. Moving to look her in the eye, I order, “Don’t move.” I join Mike at the trunk and begin opening bags. It doesn’t take long to find a pair of tennis shoes which I pass to Willa.
After she’s slipped them on her feet, she climbs out and reaches for Ari’s hand. Seeing that Ari still has on the fish slippers, I gently nudge Willa out of the way and pick up the little girl. Turning toward the house, Willa follows me up the front walk, and I deposit Ari on the porch. “You guys go on inside. Mike and I will get your stuff.” I watch them until the door closes and jog back down to Mike.
We both grab a load of bags and carry them inside, depositing them on the dining table. When Mike walks back out on the porch, I follow him. He starts down the stairs but turns back around to me, his face etched with worry.
Yeah, he might have been sheriff as long as I’ve been with The Teams, but he knows that my job is ten times more dangerous. “Be careful, man. And don’t worry; I’ll watch your girls for you.”
My girls…. I shake my head at him and the thoughts that fill my head at his words.
Instead of immediately walking back inside, I stand there and watch Mike drive away. After I’ve lost sight of his car, I check my watch. I’ve got to get moving. Telling myself to quit stalling, I go back in to see Willa and a squirming Ari sitting on the sofa.
Willa looks uncomfortable, and it seems that Ari just wants to get up and explore.
Trying to ease the tension in the room, I announce, “All right, ladies, let’s have the grand tour.” Willa hesitates but eventually stands. As I lead them down the hall, she keeps a grip on Ari’s hand to keep her from taking off on her own. I can’t tell if she’s afraid of me or afraid that Ari’s going to go ape shit and break something.
In an attempt to put her at ease, I offer, “It isn’t much, but you should be comfortable here.”
“It’s a great cabin,” Willa counters quickly. I watch her eyes for a moment to see if she really thinks so or is just trying to appease me. Seeing no deception there, I smile inwardly. For some reason, it pleases me to know that she doesn’t hate it.
The tour is short and sweet since most of the cabin is open plan. I show them the master bed and bath, guest room, hall bath, and laundry area. Needing to discuss some of the security features without little ears around, I retrieve Ari’s bag of clothes and suggest a distraction. “I need to go over the security system and some other things with you, so why don’t you get Ari into a bath. Surely she needs it after traipsing barefoot through the woods.”
Willa doesn’t move to take the bag from me. She’s experiencing some sort of delayed crash or something. In any case, I need her to snap out of it, to go back to the decisive Willa that she was in the hospital.
I call her name sharply, and she jumps. Her eyes snap to mine, a little narrowed and a lot more focused now. Now that I’ve got her attention, I smirk and continue. “You guys can use either bedroom or both.”
Ari excitedly chimes in, “I wanna take a bath in the big, big tub.”
Still glaring at me somewhat, Willa answers her daughter, “Ok, baby.” Willa walks around me to look through the bags the station dispatcher packed. Finding what she needs, she takes Ari’s bag from me and leads her daughter into the master bedroom.
When she comes back, she is alert but still looks lost, worried, tired, and angry. I don’t blame her for any of it. In fact, I’m surprised she’s held together as well as she has. Willa hasn’t advanced any closer than the edge of the room, so I approach her slowly and grip her shoulders.
“Willa, you guys are safe here. You don’t know me and have no reason to trust me, but I promise I won’t hurt you.” For a moment, I’m afraid that my words and touch caused more harm than good, but she doesn’t pull away in fear. If anything, she seems to believe my promise and is allowing her brave mask to fall away. Right now, she looks absolutely shattered.
Remembering how she responded when I took her hand in the hospital, I decide to try a similar tack now. As slowly as I approached her, I pull her against my chest and wrap my arms around her.
“Willa, what you did, what you withstood to give Ari a chance… I don’t know anyone that could have done that. Including me. It may not feel like it right now, but you’ve beaten this guy by living. Now all you’ve got to do is keep going.”
As we stand there in the awkward embrace, she gradually relaxes against me but leaves her arms down at her sides. When I hear her let out a deep breath, I release her and take a step back. “Better now?” She gives a slight nod.
Now that she seems a little more steady, I show her the thermostat, security system, and, finally, the special compartment where I keep a loaded shotgun. “The gun storage is invisible unless you know where to look.” Grabbing her hand, I place it on the special latch. “Feel that? Press it, and the gun mount will release. Don’t worry about Ari. Even if she knew it was here, she wouldn’t be able to reach it or open it. There’s no risk of her getting to it and hurting herself.”
I remove the shotgun and show her how to handle it. She looks at me with wide eyes that say, I thought you said we would be safe. Ok… how to handle this… “This is just in case. It’s not bear season, but in case a coyote comes around and bothers you, I want you to have it ready.”
My bullshit comment about the coyotes removes the panic from her face, but it doesn’t matter the why at this point. The point is that she can handle the shotgun in the case of any unwanted guest.
I have Willa put the shotgun back up and show me that she can open the hidden compartment again just to be sure. When the weapon is secured again, I grab her hand and lead her back out to sit on the sofa. “I’m going to have to leave now.”
“I’m so sorry about this. I want to pay for your hotel for the trouble.”
“Don’t worry about it. I won’t be staying in town. I’ve just been called back to base and have to leave immediately.”
She turns her head toward the hallway where Ari can be heard singing in the bathtub. I won’t let on, but I saw her eyes filling at the news. Seeing her reaction to my leaving fills my heart and makes me feel like shit at the same time.
For the first time in my career, I wish I didn’t have to be deployed. If it were any other mission, I’d ask for another team to be sent, but we’ve been after this boat for months for all the death that it has facilitated.
I glance down at my watch and see that I’ll be pushing it to make it back to Fort Story in the four hours since speaking to the Commander.
As I stand to my feet, Willa turns to face me again. I pull the house key off my ring and hand it to her, holding onto her hand longer than necessary. “You, Mike, and the maintenance company are the only ones with keys to this house. I’ll call the property managers and tell them to keep away until I say otherwise. Mike won’t show up here without calling first.”
Moving to the kitchen, I pull out some paper and a pen, writing down Mike’s and my numbers and placing the note by the phone.
Looking down the hall where Ari can still be heard singing, I’m hating my leaving without telling the tadpole goodbye. I suppose it’s for the best, though. She was… ok, I was getting a little too attached.
On my way out the door, I tell Willa, “Tell Ari bye for me. Come lock the door.”
After I step outside, I wait to hear the click of the lock before forcing myself down the stairs to my motorcycle. When I mount the bike, it takes several seconds to put the key in the ignition and even longer to make myself start the engine.
I’ve never hesitated to leave for a mission before, but it’s hard as hell leaving now.
Riding in the back of the police car on the way to the station, Sheriff Hudson’s words keep playing over in my head like a bad recording. You and your daughter were targeted.
So now, I can’t go home, I can’t go to work, I can’t access my accounts. I’m basically homeless and penniless. And on top of that, Chris is giving up his home so Ari and I will have a place to stay. That means that now, I’ve become a burden.
By the time we park behind the sheriff’s department building, I’m just about ready to demand the keys to my car so Ari and I can just disappear. That is until I see Chris’s motorcycle. It looks very expensive… and very damaged. It’s going to cost me a fortune to repair. And yes, I fully intend to pay for the repairs. It is the least I can do for the man that saved mine and my daughter’s lives.
Watching the powerful man shoulder on his jacket and mount the bike distracts me from my thoughts of leaving. Chris lifts the large machine upright and starts the engine. When he disappears from view, I turn my attention to Ariel when she asks a question. “Fish’s motorcycle is loud, isn’t it, mama?”
“It sure is.”
Moments later, I realize I’ve missed my opportunity to bolt when Sheriff Hudson closes the trunk of the police car and climbs back inside. You didn’t really want to leave anyway, I think as a picture of Chris pops in my head. Chasing the crazy thought from my mind, I try and focus on where we’re going.
A few minutes into the ride, my curiosity or concern gets the best of me. “Sheriff…” I begin but am unable to voice the question swimming around in my head.
“Yes, Willa?”
Oh, just spit it out already. “I’ve met three men in the last two days. One is a monster, one, I’m hoping is a good man since he’s the sheriff, and one, I don’t know anything about.”
It wasn’t really a question, but the sheriff seems to be a smart man. I’ll bet my camera that he knows what’s bothering me.
He’s quiet for a moment but then says, “Willa, anything I say will be biased because Chris has been my best friend since childhood. I can tell you that not only is he a SEAL, he’s the leader of his team. Beyond his résumé, the one thing that might reassure you about him is that your little girl is comforted by him. Kids have an uncanny ability to read people. Besides Ari, tell me, what does your gut say?”
With a sigh, I answer, “That I have nothing to fear from him.”
“I have to agree with your gut. There is one thing I see in your eyes that I want to get out of your head. Chris isn’t expecting you to repay him, monetarily or otherwise. You may not understand this, but the instant he saw Ari in the road, she, and then you, became his responsibility. As a SEAL, he can’t leave a teammate behind, and that’s exactly what Ari has become. He won’t be able to turn it off until he’s certain of your safety.”
He takes a deep breath and blows it out again. “I promise you that none of us have an ulterior motive or any dark tendencies. Having said that, if you would feel more comfortable with my wife making deliveries to you instead of me or one of my deputies, that can be arranged with no trouble and no hard feelings.”
“Thanks, Sheriff.”
“Call me Mike.”
“Ok, Mike.”
I look down at my daughter to see that she’s playing out some imaginary story with her fish on the ocean blanket. One of her hands is moving the fish around, and the other is holding tightly to mine. I don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it.
Ari is a tough little girl. Outwardly, she seems unfazed by what happened, but the grip she has on my hand says otherwise. Looking at her tiny fingers holding onto mine, it breaks my heart for her to have seen the darkness in the world at such a tender age.
Several minutes later, Mike turns into a hidden driveway that winds a long way to a small cabin. Chris’s bike is parked out front, and I can see him walking around the side of the house, carrying a load of firewood.
Mike gets out of the police car but doesn’t open my door. He joins Chris at the front of the car and positions himself to block my view of the SEAL. I almost roll my eyes. It’s obvious that they’re talking about Ari and me and this whole screwed up situation. Nothing they are saying could possibly be as embarrassing or traumatizing as what we’ve experienced already.
Ari and I are eventually allowed out of the car and are directed inside. Ari wants to go exploring, but I’m not comfortable turning her loose in someone else’s house. I sit with my daughter on the sofa, nervously bouncing my knees as I look around at the cabin’s interior.
It’s clean and comfortable-looking with hardwood floors, a large fireplace, and stained wood walls and ceiling. The kitchen appears to be fairly new, not magazine pretty, but well done.
A little voice beside me asks, “Mama, is this really Fish’s house?”
“Yes, Ari. And since we’re guests here, we have to be extra careful to not make messes, run inside, or play rough so that we don’t break something.”
“Ok, mama.” Sure, she says ok, but the longer we sit here, the harder it is for her to sit still.
Mercifully, Chris walks into the house before much longer. When he does, he locks eyes with me. Despite Mike’s assurances and my gut feeling that we’re safe with Chris, I’m still a little jumpy. In two days’ time, I’ve been locked in as many cabins with strange men. Stop it, Willa. This is the man that saved you and Ari, not the one that hurt you.
During a tour of the cabin, I watch Chris closely. Not because I expect him to turn into some monster, but because I’d like to know why it is that he makes me feel so at ease. His no-nonsense, steadfast personality makes me feel safe, but it goes way beyond that.
All morning, I’ve held onto the comfort his voice and his words accorded me. Now, I’m beginning to notice the man behind the voice.
Chris has a big, powerful body that looks poised to destroy any threat that dares rear its head. His sharp eyes are squinted in focus so much that I can barely see the dark blue orbs. Even when anger and concern are etched in his features, I’m drawn to him.
When I look at him, really look, one word comes to mind: truth. He’s not hiding something under a predator’s smile. He isn’t sporting a far-away look because he’s focused solely on his own ambitions. Essentially, Chris is the total opposite of my ex-husband.
I guess at some point, I zoned out studying my temporary landlord. I’m startled when Chris barks out my name to get my attention. Angry and embarrassed, I feel my cheeks redden when I look up at his face. “You guys can use either bedroom or both.”
Right. Get it together, Willa. Kicking myself, I move to search through the bags in the living room, hoping to find that Ari’s bath stuff was packed. Thankfully, it was, so I gather what I need and take the bag of clothes from Chris.
I take Ari to the master bathroom since she asked to get in the big tub. As the tub is filling, I look through the very full princess bag, not quite believing the amount of stuff packed in here. I can just see Ari pulling Chris around the store… I want this one and this one and this one.
“Ari, you have your own clothes. Why did you make Chris buy you all these things?”
“I didn’t. I was sleeping in the back seat of Harry’s car while he went into the store.”
My eyes snap back to my daughter, who’s splashing around the giant tub. “What about the blanket, fish slippers, and stuffed fish?”
“Those were a surprise. Will I have to give them back?”
Absently, I answer her, “No, baby.”
Looking through the bag again, I’m floored by Chris’s generosity. One question keeps nagging at me, though. Why? Why would he do so much for us when he doesn’t even know us? At most, I’d expect most people to deliver Ari to the police and go about their business. Despite what the sheriff said about him, it’s still hard to believe that Chris would be driven to watch over us until we were out of danger.
The personal sacrifices Chris has made in such a short time further highlight how selfish or self-absorbed my ex-husband was.
The most glaring example of Jonathan’s self-centeredness was from when Ari was an infant.
Jonathan, would you stop for diapers on your way home? It’s storming, and I don’t want to take the baby out.
Hours later, when he walked in, he was carrying only his briefcase. Did you get the diapers?
No, I forgot.
His answer lacked any remorse, and there was no offer to go back out for the much-needed item. Will you watch Ari while I go out for them?
Yeah. Give me a minute to take care of something.
At nine pm, he still hadn’t come out of his office. So, I bundled baby Ari up and walked through the single car garage where his Mercedes was parked to reach my car that was parked outside in the rain.
That’s long over, Willa. Forget it.
Returning my focus to the here and now, I remind Ari to behave while I’m gone. “No splashing now. I’ll be right back.”
Thoughts of my uncaring ex haven’t done anything to help my mental state, and it must show on my face. When I clear the hallway on my return to the living room, Chris pins me with his assessing gaze and furrows his brow in concern.
He must have interpreted my expression as one of fear, as he walks over to me and places his hands on my shoulders and then pulls me into his chest.
As Chris holds me, his hand lifts to caress my back. I allow myself to melt even further into him and feel his words vibrate through his chest when he speaks.
God… I would have given anything for encouraging words, an affectionate touch, or even an acknowledgment from Jonathan. Starved for that kind of connection, I could see myself seeking it from Chris, becoming attached.
That thought scares me more than anything, and I force myself from his arms.
With a smile, Chris steps back and asks, “Better now?” I don’t want him to see how much I’m affected by his words and actions, so I only offer a slight nod.
Unsettled by how easily I’m developing feelings for this man that I don’t know, I hold myself back, only going through the motions as he shows me the rest of the house and security. That is until he shows me the loaded shotgun.
Guns don’t scare me, but the thought of needing one does. Yes, we were targeted. Yes, that bastard’s still at large. In my head, I knew that him trying to find us was a possibility, but it wasn’t until facing the need to have a gun for protection that it became real. Chris futilely tries to downplay the danger, saying that I should be ready in case we come under attack from coyotes or bears. Despite his best effort, I know it’s all a crock of bull designed to keep from adding to my fear. It’s the worry in his own eyes that gives him away.
Back in the living room, Chris seats us on the sofa and stares at me for a moment, a sick look on his face. “I’m going to have to leave now.”
Oh. This is it. This is the escape he was hoping to make. I turn around at the sound of Ari singing. She’s going to be devastated to find out that he’s gone, but it’s probably for the best. It’s not good for her to get attached to him. Me either.
He stands up from his seat beside me and hands me a key. I don’t hear his next words, as I’m suddenly scared to death at being left alone here.
Chris hesitates before walking out, but eventually crosses the threshold. After I close and lock the door behind him, I stand there for a while with my forehead resting against the wood. I don’t know how long I’ve been standing there listening, but the silent pause on the other side is long enough that I think Chris has changed his mind about leaving.
He hasn’t, though. Eventually, I hear the loud rumble of the motorcycle starting up and listen intently as the sound fades away.
Dreading having to tell Ari that he’s gone, I stand there for a while longer, only moving when I hear her calling me.