After about two hours’ worth of driving, I’ve cooled off enough to be able to call Mike without going nuclear. Using my steering wheel controls, I call my friend.
“Yell at me one time, and I’m hanging up,” Mike says by way of greeting.
“Then tell me who the fuck I can yell at. Dammit, man. How did this happen? Besides the doc and me, there aren’t ten people that know about Willa.”
“Not true. Outside of my men, there’re the EMT responders, hospital staff… the list goes on.”
“Does she know?”
Mike doesn’t answer, and it makes me even angrier. “Mike.”
“She knows, Ok?”
“And?”
“And nothing.” He sniffs. Dammit!
“You forget, I know your tells, Mike. What are you hiding?”
“Listen to me, Chris. Officially, I’m going to tell you that beyond the use of your cabin, which we all appreciate, this does not concern you. Unofficially, I’ll say that I don’t need this shit. This whole situation has turned into one big cluster fuck. The asshole that took Willa and Ari is a ghost, and the leak in the news has brought the attention of another asshole to my office.”
“What asshole?”
“Willa’s ex-husband.”
“Tell me you didn’t give up her location.”
“I haven’t done anything. He called and demanded to speak with her. When I told him no, he said he was on his way here.”
“Do not give her up, Mike.”
“What do you think this is? Amateur hour? I’m not going to hand them over to him on a silver platter. I can’t stop the man from coming here, but I won’t give him your address. One thing you need to think about, though. Ari is his kid. If he has custody rights, not me or Willa can deny him visitation with his child.”
She’s never been his, I think angrily.
“When he gets here, I’ll have to contact Willa and let her talk to him. No, I don’t want to do it, but I have to. If I try to keep him from them, it will only have him running to his lawyers. I don’t understand what the problem is. What’s it to you, anyway?”
“The man hasn’t seen his child in two years. Call it healthy skepticism.”
“You can call it whatever you want; it has no bearing on what happens. Now, was there another point to this call, or can I get back to working this case?”
“Last question, when did Mr. Westbrook call you?”
“Why do you want to know that?”
“Just curious.”
“I doubt it. You aren’t planning to interfere, are you?”
“Who, me?”
“Shit,” he grumbles before hanging up on me.
Well, I don’t have any more information about the father than I had before. Looking at the clock on the dash, I’ve got another two hours before I get to Lydia.
Rolling through Stanardsville later that afternoon, I get a call from Mike. “Please tell me I didn’t just see you in my town.”
“Ok. You didn’t just see me in your town.”
“Dammit, Chris. What are you doing?”
“I’m driving to my cabin. I have guests to check on.”
“Don’t do it, man.”
“Mike, you’re my best friend. You know I respect you and your badge, but you can’t order me to stay away from my own home.”
“Shit, Chris, Westbrook showed up over an hour ago, demanding to see Willa and Ari. In a private room, I called Willa to let her know he was here and wanted to see them. I told her pretty much the same thing I told you, that denying him would make things worse.”
“Please tell me you didn’t take him to my cabin.”
“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but bringing them here would have carried too much of a risk of exposure. So, yes, he was escorted to your cabin.”
“I hope I don’t have to kick your ass over this, Mike.”
“I’ll just shoot you in self-defense.”
Now it’s my turn to hang up on him.
Ten minutes later, I’ve pulled in my driveway next to a late model BMW convertible. Rolling my eyes, it seems as I’ve already made up my mind about Willa’s ex-husband. Despite only knowing his last name, I can already tell this guy’s a pretentious prick who’s only here because he’s a media whore.
Grabbing the bag of groceries I picked up in town, I walk toward the front porch and hear a man’s angry, raised voice. Oh, hell no. I’m sick of this shitbag already.
I waltz in the front door like I own the place… what a fucking coincidence, I do. No sooner than I get the door closed, Ari calls my name and comes racing toward me. I barely place the grocery bags on the table before she jumps into my arms. Her obvious fear pisses me off and makes me want to throw that bastard out for scaring her.
Still, before I can handle him, I need to calm Ari down. “Hey, settle down there, Tadpole. What seems to be the trouble?”
I don’t expect an answer from the tiny girl and don’t get one. She’s too preoccupied with holding on to me for dear life.
With Ari glued to my chest, I approach Willa and her ex. Ari’s father doesn’t seem to care for my intrusion, and Willa is just standing there looking shell-shocked. “Who the hell are you, and what are you doing barging in here like this?”
“Well, it just so happens that I own this cabin. Now… who might you be, and why are you in here yelling at Willa?” That last part was said with a little bite.
The man seems to deflate in the presence of someone that looks willing to kick his ass. When he speaks again, he’s more controlled. “I’m merely upset to learn that my daughter was in grave danger over a newscast instead of being informed by my wife.”
“Ex-wife, no?”
“Yes, whatever.”
“I don’t know what you saw on TV, but her story wasn’t supposed to be on the news at all. I can tell you that her instructions were to contact no one. For her safety, of course. If you’re upset about that, you need to take it up with the sheriff.” Sorry, Mike.
Westbrook sighs loudly and sits heavily on the sofa. “I’m sorry, Willa. I guess I overreacted. I was in a conference in California when I got a call from my assistant this morning. She told me what she saw on the news, and I panicked. I caught the first flight to Richmond and drove straight to the sheriff’s office after landing.
“He told me that you guys were targeted and that they haven’t caught the guy. I asked if you would be safe under his protection, and the only thing he could promise was that he would do his best. When I got here, I just let the stress of everything get to me.”
He runs a frustrated hand through his hair, messing up his perfectly coiffed locks. “I know I’ve been a lousy father, but I can’t just stand by and do nothing if the two of you are in danger.”
Willa shoves her hands in her pockets. “We’re not in any danger right now. The sheriff has us living off-grid while he looks for the guy.” Gesturing to me, she adds, “and Chris here is letting us use his cabin for that same reason.”
“Letting you use the cabin… you mean you guys aren’t…?”
“No. He’s a friend of the sheriff.”
“Oh.” His expression is one that I don’t particularly like. “Well, I’d feel better if you weren’t hiding out ten seconds from where you were kidnapped. I have that big house in Bethesda. Why don’t you two come out there? You’d be out of reach for whatever backwoods sicko took you.”
I can tell by looking at Willa’s face that she’s trying to figure out how to answer so she doesn’t make him mad enough to bring lawyers into the situation. “Jonathan, I appreciate the offer, but we’re ok. If something does happen that makes me nervous, or if it takes too long for them to find this guy, you’ll be the first person I call, Ok?”
He seems to consider her words for a moment and eventually nods. “Ok, Willa.” Westbrook stands and moves toward the door, not even glancing at his daughter, who’s still clinging to me with her face buried in my neck.
“You two be safe. I made sure the sheriff knows how to get in touch with me.”
“Thank you for coming to check on us, Jonathan.”
“Of course. That’s my daughter,” he says. Then, he’s walking out the door.
No one speaks again until we hear the fading sound of his sports car leaving. Loosening Ari’s arms from around my neck, I pull her away from me enough to look at her face. “What’s the matter with you, Tadpole?”
“I don’t like him.”
“Ari!” Willa chides.
Setting the girl on her feet, I say, “Ari, go play in one of the back rooms while I talk to your mom for a minute.”
“Yes, sir.” She unenthusiastically walks down the hall into the spare bedroom. Once the door closes, I take Willa’s hand and pull her into the kitchen. Her cheeks are flaming in embarrassment, and she won’t look at me. Keeping her head down, she takes a seat at the table as I unload the bags I brought in.
Sitting at the table in the kitchen, I silently watch as Chris puts away the food he brought with him. Despite the fact that his coming here today was a surprise, I was glad to see him walk through that door. More glad than I’m ready to admit to myself.
When Sheriff Hudson called and said Jonathan was at the station, I almost fell out. I thought he had gone against my wishes. I asked Mike why he called my ex, a little upset that he would do so behind my back. The shock of learning about the newscast, and of Jonathan finding out that way was somehow even worse.
In any case, I knew what Mike said was right. There was no way to keep Jonathan away without getting into a sticky legal situation. Never mind that he hasn’t seen his daughter in two years and didn’t care about her the two years of her life before that.
My biggest concern in all this chaos was Ari and how she would react. After hanging up with Mike, I pulled her into my lap and told her that her daddy was coming for a visit. She had looked confused for a moment before running away into the room where she’s been sleeping.
I had a similar urge myself but stayed where I was. I’d secretly hoped that I’d never have to deal with my ex-husband again. It wasn’t because I was afraid; he never hurt us.
The reason I packed up Ari and left was that I was tired of being ignored, tired of not being first, fifth, or even fifteenth place in his list of priorities.
No, what I was afraid of was that the only reason he was coming here now is because of the news coverage. People that know him will ask about us, and he won’t have any answers. That would be embarrassing for him. A divorce in his clique is bad enough, but to be a deadbeat dad in his circle of influence is scandalous.
The best and, really, the only course of action was to let him come by and listen to what he had to say, knowing that if he was true to form, he wouldn’t be here long.
When he walked in the door, he hugged me. The simple show of affection that was missing from our marriage was unexpected and a little unwelcome. Not wanting to make a scene, I went along with it, albeit awkwardly.
“Oh, god, I’m so glad you’re ok,” he said. Either he didn’t notice the red slices all over my exposed arms or wasn’t concerned about them. “Where is Ariel?”
“I’ll go get her.” When I walked in the spare bedroom, she was on the bed, under the fish blanket, holding tightly to the stuffed fish. “Ari, your daddy’s here.” She wouldn’t come out from under the blanket, so I peeled it off of her. “Come on, Ari.” I picked her up and carried her out to the living room.
Unsure of how to proceed next, I sat down on the couch and put her feet on the floor. Appearing to expect a Hallmark-worthy reunion, Jonathan walked over to her with an expectant look on his face and knelt down. “Hi, Ariel.”
She just turned back to me and buried her head in my chest. I had been afraid that would be her reaction, but he didn’t understand. “What’s wrong with her?”
I sighed inwardly, knowing that no matter what I said, it would potentially start a fight, so I kept it honest and short. “Well, she doesn’t know you.”
With a disbelieving glare, he demanded, “What do you mean she doesn’t know me? I’m her father.”
“She was only a toddler when we divorced, and she hasn’t seen you since then.” He looked at me accusingly. Wanting to quell the coming argument, I mentioned that she doesn’t know my father either since he’s been in the nursing home for two years. It didn’t work, though. He still blamed me.
“If you hadn’t moved away, maybe she would know me, which brings me to another question. How come I’m only finding out about this from the news? I am the father of this child. Were you planning to call and tell me that you and our daughter were almost killed by a madman?”
It was in that moment that the opening door was the most welcome sound I could have heard. I don’t think I would have complained if it had been a mountain lion that walked in, but seeing Chris standing there almost brought tears to my eyes.
Now that Jonathan’s gone, I feel drained. I had forgotten that dealing with him left me feeling as if I’d run a marathon. I don’t even offer to help Chris put away the things he brought.
Actually, I was so glad that somebody interrupted Jonathan’s tirade that I didn’t even wonder why someone broke protocol and came here unannounced, especially Chris. He was even more concerned about security measures here than Mike was.
Tilting my head to look up at him, I ask the awkward question floating in my mind. “This may sound wrong, but… what are you doing here?”
He turns his head to me from where he’s reaching to place something on a high shelf, and his hand stops mid-air. “I was in a meeting when I saw your story on the news. I knew it had to have been leaked to the press. It made me angry, and it made me worry about both of you. Since I had wrapped things up on base, I raced back here to make sure you guys were all right.” He turns around fully now. “And based on what I found when I walked in, I imagine that you’re glad I showed up when I did.”
I can’t deny it, so I don’t. Instead, I ask, “But why? You don’t even know me.”
Chris puts down the coffee he’s holding, walks over to the table, and lowers himself to a knee. “I can’t fully explain it to you because I don’t fully understand it, but I need to be here. No, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but there’s something about you and Ari that I can’t get out of my head. Ari makes me want to protect her from every monster out there and give her the world just to see her smile.”
He reaches over and takes my hand. “And you… you make me want to do everything in my power to be worthy of a woman capable of such strength and sacrifice. A woman that I know is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.”
His words have me looking down at my arms and all the angry red marks there. My free hand reaches up to tug the sleeve of my shirt down, but he stops me. He takes that hand and brings it to his mouth, placing a kiss against the palm.
This is so unexpected, so fast, but so wanted. His words incite such a torrent of emotion that I close my eyes against the tears threatening to spill down my face. Chris releases the hand that’s pressed to his lips, and I lean forward to cradle it against his face. A moment later, he tilts his body and wraps his muscular arms around me. Reveling in his warmth and his strength, I gladly rest against him as he places a kiss on my temple.
I remain locked in his embrace for a long time; neither one of us in a hurry to move. I couldn’t say how long we’ve been sitting like that when I hear the soft rustling of fabric coming from behind us. Less than a second later, little feet are running through the living room and into the kitchen. Ari slams into us, wrapping her tiny little arms around both of us as best as she can.
Chris removes one arm from around me to wrap Ari up in our little circle, and I’m overwhelmed by many strange and wonderful emotions. This feels right; this feels whole. This feels like home.
Right now, sitting in this kitchen, I decide that I want this man. It may be foolish to jump in so fast, but I don’t even care. There’s just something instinctively right about my feelings for him, and I’m not going to question them.
Before much longer, Ari’s squirming forces us apart. I lean back as she moves in close to kiss Chris’s cheek. She’s surprised him if his face is any indication. Dumbfounded, he looks down at her in amazement. Quietly, she asks him, “Does this mean you’re going to be my daddy?”
I’m mortified. My face turns beet-red imagining what’s going through Chris’s mind. I should say something to diffuse the awkward situation, but I’m just too paralyzed to do anything more than watch the scene play out before me.
Chris doesn’t appear shocked or put off by her innocent question. Instead, his eyes go soft. I watch as this big, tough man opens his mouth to speak, but his voice breaks. After a second, he clears his throat and tries again. “Ari, I promise you that I’ll be whatever you need me to be for as long as you want me to be.”
Ari throws her arms around his neck as I sit there in stunned silence. I just cannot comprehend what I’m seeing and feeling. This can’t be real.
As if he hears my thoughts, Chris reaches out and squeezes my hand to assure me that this is, in fact, quite real.
When Ari releases the death grip she has on his neck, he leans back and tweaks her on the nose. “It’s time to make some dinner. How do you guys feel about calzones?”
“What is a calzone?”
“It’s a folded-up pizza.”
“Yay!” Ari cheers.
“I’ll go wash up to help,” I offer on autopilot.
Chris stands up from where he was kneeling in front of me. “Nope, Tadpole and I can do it. You can watch or go rest or something.”
Chris pulls a chair up to the cabinetry and directs Ari to stand on it. After they’ve both washed their hands, he sets her up to wash veggies, grate the mozzarella, and even lets her work with the dough for the crust.
Watching them work together warms my heart and awakens desires I thought had died long ago. Occasionally, he tosses a grin and a wink in my direction, and I can feel myself melting on the inside. I wonder if he knows he’s doing this to me.
Dinner turns out to be a long process, but Ari is having the time of her life doing something so simple. I’m hesitant when Chris sets her up with a knife to cut the vegetables, but he stands over her, showing her how to do it properly.
Sitting here while they make dinner preparations, I watch as Ari blossoms under his instruction. She may only be four, but she’s much more capable than I realized. Maybe it’s time I started letting her have more responsibility.
After the calzones are assembled and placed in the oven, Ari sits in the floor, watching her creations bake and bubble through the oven window.
Later, while we’re clearing away dinner dishes, I shower the young chef with compliments. She beams with pride at her accomplishment. It’s definitely time to give her more responsibilities.
By the time the kitchen is cleaned back up, it’s getting pretty late. Ari and I head to the back where I give her a bath. Once she’s in her PJs, she insists on going back out to tell Chris goodnight.
“Go on,” I tell her. She then runs out of the room, and I go to turn back the covers of the guest bed where she started sleeping last night. Ari returns just as quickly as she left, taking a running jump to the bed.
I know I should scold her, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her this happy. I shoo her to the other side of the bed so I can turn down the covers. Once she’s all tucked in for the night, I lean down to give her a kiss on the head.
“Night, mama.”
“Good night, Ari.”
Now it’s my turn for a shower.
Returning to the master bath, I take longer than I planned but eventually tiptoe my way out of the master suite. With one last look into the guest room, I stare at my beautiful, sleeping child, switch off the light, and gently close the door. Turning to make the walk back down the hall to Chris, I stop just for a moment and take a deep breath... and to make sure this is what I want.