Jaco is speaking to his wife. He says he misses the children. They are nearly four and three years, he thinks. Or maybe five and four. He’s not a hundred per cent sure. A lot has happened.
Elfrieda, he says, I miss the children.
Kak. You buggered off with a whore with big boobs from Sun City. Now she knows that you are a dronk-lap and a liar she don’t want to speak to you.
That’s all kak.
I didn’t make it up, I heard the truth. I know what happened, Jaco. Also when I was working in Nelspruit at the hairdresser and looking after the children where were you when they was crying in their bed? I can tell you, you was in California being a big shot. Ooo, vok die great white is going to bite my balls off. God verskoon my, I wish the shark had eaten your balletjies. True’s God. And you were drunk when you was talking crap about sharks on the radio the other day, everyone was ashamed of you. Dank die Here that your children is too young to know what a poes you is.
Elfrieda, listen, I made mistakes no question everybody makes mistakes but now I want to see my daughters and you if you can forgive me.
Fuck off, Jaco. Why don’t you fly off to Mars like what you said you can do – you are a loser and a liar.
Your cousins on the farm and everyone what we knows. All you want is to get the money what I have saved for the children. Stay away.
Elfrieda, I have money.
I am getting married, says Elfrieda.
What did you say?
I’m getting married to Wynand Vermeulen.
Jaco puts the phone down.
Married, never. It can’t be true.
Jannie holds his hand out. It’s not Jaco’s phone. He borrowed it from Jannie. He left his on the plane or somewhere. He has talked to Elfrieda for twenty minutes and Jannie wants him to pay now–now. He’s sitting in the Bourbon Street trying to get the amount what he owes from MTN so he can pay Jannie.
Jannie takes the phone. He is a tight-arse.
Jaco feels sick. Married. How come?
Jannie says it’s twenty-five rand. Jaco gets out the roll of notes his uncle gave him. It is not as fat as he remembers. He peels off a twenty. And here’s ten for old times. Why you surprised, Jannie? You was thinking I am going to run, neh? You do me a favour I do you a favour, ou pal.
Jaco and Stoffel stand up to leave the pub.
Still whatever she says I want to see my children. Six months that he has not seen them. Also I will like to kill Elfrieda who is a hoer. She fucked everyone who was around in Nelspruit as I am told but still she gets the hell in really mad when she hear about this girl Casey at Sun City. Never mind that, it was nothing, niks nie, een-night stand, maybe a few more who’s counting. Nothing. Women doesn’t unnerstan most men need more than one woman no harm done. Except that she told one of her friends who was in PR at Sun City. She only went and tell the newspaper Shark-man plays away from home. Can you believe that. I want to kill the journalis who wrote that. You cunt, I have children. How can you do that to my children?
Bang bang.
I wish.
Jaco feels better with his gun in his trousers strapped to his thigh. It makes his thigh warm. It’s one up at all times. He likes to know it is there. We must look after ourself now. There’s a lot of reasons to carry a gun with all that’s going on here, the Congo people who are cannibals where they comes from and all the Zim people who are not so bad but they can’t get jobs up there so they swim across the Limpopo, nobody knows how many has been eaten by crocs. That poes Zuma gives all the jobs to his buddies from Zululand. One day they is sitting on their arse in Zululand the next they flying first class to Paris for a conference talk talk talk talk. That is what they likes most, talk talk talk. All what Zuma does now is to jump around wearing feathers and leopard skins and then they all drinks beer and kills an ox and cooks it. The President is the chief so he gets the liver. He has twenty-one or twenty-two kids. Maybe more. When a white guy applies for a job his application goes to the bottom of the pile. Sorry it’s lost. Jissus I would like to kill them all. That mofgat de Klerk gave the whole country away for nothing. Did Oliver Tambo build Union Buildings? No he fucking did not. I am a Retief and we doesn’t forget what they did to Piet; he had to watch Zuma’s ancestors kill a hundred and fifty men, women and children. Little childrens like my girls clubbed with a knobkerrie. My beautiful daughters Elmarie and … what’s her name oh ja, June. Junie like Junie Carter.
Jannie and Stoffel is going home.
Cheer up, says Stoffel, it could be worse.
How?
I don’t know.
Let’s go and shoot some great whites.
Very funny. Fuck off.