20

Jaco is tooled up. He has his 9mm Beretta 92FS semi-automatic strapped to his thigh, ten rounds in the magazine. He is totally pissed off. That fucking bitch won’t speak to him. She says he doesn’t even know his children’s names. What a lot of kak. There is only two, Elmarie and June who is named June like Johnny Cash’s wife Junie, how can I forget that. What a voice. Junie has a voice like an angel. It juss cut through your feelings so you can change from sad to happy in a blink or go the other way happy to sad. June Carter – Junie. That voice can make you cry. When I was in California I play the soundtrack from the film all the time until they take it away and wants me to go in the E-meter to clean my head. If I would have the Beretta then I would blow their fucking heads off.

It’s shit hitch-hiking but the brothers on the farm will not lend me even a bakkie nor nothing. Niks nie. They want me to piss off and get lost for ever. They say I am giving a bad example to the blacks by fucking Hester and drinking too much. Who cares I am fucking Hester. Anyway I thought this was the new free South Africa, fuck anybody you like, no worries.

He’s standing by the road taking a soepie from a jack of brandy. Commando Brandy. He’s going to rescue his children and take them on holiday. He’s still got some of Uncle Frank’s cash. Maybe they can go to Durban for a holiday. The people there is called the Banana Boys because they grows bananas there. A black guy stops to pick him up. His car is low on the springs like all these people’s cars is. They haven’t got a fucking clue how to look after a car. He gets in anyway. The black guy is going some of the way before he turns off. He wants money for sure.

I will give you fifty rand, bru.

OK, sharp.

He’s ready, one up just in case. The Beretta is warming his leg.

After a few kilometres the black guy’s car has a puncture. Jaco helps him change the tyre. The black guy drops Jaco off at an Engen station. Fuck knows where they are. He asks a driver who is filling up to give him a ride in the cab of his coal truck, because I can see he is Afrikaans. He tells the driver he must see his wife who is having baby number three.

You can’t by law sit in the cab.

Listen, my ou maat, I must go to Nelspruit. A baby is being born.

And you are one of the fucking Wise Men. Okay I will take you but my arse is grass if they finds out.

Jaco passes him the brandy: have a dop.

Are you fucking crazy? I got three hundred tons of coal in this baby.

What baby?

This truck.

Okay, ek verstaan. My naam is Retief. Jaco. And yours?

Willem Van Zyl.

They shake hands. The truck roars. Jaco has a soep of Commando. It’s nearly dark when he arrives in Nelspruit. It’s pissing down. The driver wants him to get out without being seen and he stops the truck behind a huge tin-and-brick building with no windows. An abattoir. Slaghuis.

I know how dead cattle and sheep is smelling.

Jaco has no idea where Elfrieda lives – he’s never been to Nelspruit. He walks to the Wimpy and has a cheeseburger with hot sauce. Just what I need. He washes himself in the lavatory and rinses his mouth. I look like shit. I look old. Ja, but a few days in Durban jolling with the Banana Boys will fix me up. Maybe I will take up snorkelling again. He calls Elfrieda’s mother, Francine. She thinks she is a Huguenot. She hates him. Jaco says he is sending a present for the girls and he needs the postal address.

Just a minute.

He can hear scratching like mice in the cupboard. The old people is so fucking slow. Scratching and coughing and looking for their fucking glasses. Talking about drink, Francine is a champion.

Orright, Jaco, it is 41 Jacaranda Avenue, Nelspruit 2207.

Baie dankie, hoor, Ma.

I am not your mother.

I know, Ma. When is Elfrieda getting married?

Next week.

What’s his name again?

His name is Wynand.

Lovely. Okay, tot siens, Ouma.

The line is dead. It’s not a problem to find the house. The manager of the Wimpy, an Indian outjie, lives in the next street. He gives me a free coffee and a jam doughnut because I am going to be a father. He thinks. He says it is more or less ten minutes to walk. He draws me a map on a paper napkin. He writes also ‘congratulations’. That’s nice. The streets is quiet. I come there and I see that the lights is on and I climb over the wall and walk through the garden. They doesn’t have any security. Maybe it go on later. I stand myself behind a bush covered with red flowers. It’s hot here in Nelspruit. I can see in the front room the back of a man. The fucking bridegroom. Wynand. Then I see Elfrieda come in carrying some food on a tray. It looks like it can be a T-bone. The man is staring at the television. His face is flickering. He doesn’t look at Elfrieda when he takes his tray he just hold out his hand. He’s got vok-all manners. I walk to the front door and knock and ring the bell.

Who’s there?

Polisie, Specials.

The door comes open a little way on a chain and I push it in no trouble with my shoulder.

Ooh my God, dis Jaco. What do you want?

What you think? I have come to see my children.

This Wynand stands up in a hurry. He is a big bastard.

Fuck off out of here, he says.

Who sez?

I says.

He moves towards me. His fly is open. I take the Beretta out of my pants and aim straight at him. Still he comes and I shoot him in the groin area. In the sausage department. Blood, Jissus, it’s like a fucking fountain. Elfrieda is screaming.

Shuttup. Hou op, jou hoer, the children will wake up.

Are you crazy, you shot Wynand. You shot him.

Get the girls out of bed, I want to see them.

Now because of that poes Wynand I can’t take the children with. Durban is out. The cops will be looking for me. I must see the children. The children is crying in their room. I want them to shut up and be happy. The boerbull comes out from the kitchen. It makes a horrible noise, its eyes is watery. It stinks of dog shit. I am going to shoot the fucking dog if it try to bite me.

And I want the car keys, Elfrieda.

I say if she calls the police I will kill her. She believes me even if it’s not true.

Elfrieda, the children mustn’t see Wynand, definitie.

They are at the door staring at me, their eyes like bush babies’.

Hello, girlies, howzit with you? You are coming to stay with me on the farm next Easter, don’t be frightened. That’s right, neh, Elfrieda? Tell the girls.

Yes. We are all going to Daddy’s farm.

Is Oom Wynand coming?

No, Elmarie.

Wynand is groaning in the sitting room.

Stay here, don’t move.

I go to the sitting room. He’s fucked, he’s twitching. Probably gevrek.

Elfrieda, where’s the car – I told you I am taking it. So where is it?

In the carport.

Okay, let’s go. Bye bye, girls, see you at Easter. Tell them to say goodbye, Elfrieda.

Say goodbye to your pa.

Bye-bye, bye-bye.

I kiss the girls. They looks poep scared. Elfrieda tells them, don’t leave your bedroom or I will give you a klap.

She’s crying and shaking. She takes me to the car, a small Ford. It’s a clapped-out piece of shit.

Is it diesel or petrol?

Petrol, Jaco.

Call the ambulance and the police when I has gone. Tell them you was asleep and kaffers stole the car. Don’t say I shot Wynand. I wasn’t even here, neh? You say that a black man came here, you didn’t see him but you heard him shouting and Wynand shouting and you have stayed with the girls and then you have heard a noise and then he must’ve been shot by Wynand. You was too frightened to come out.

Fuck this Wynand. If his fat slang was not peeping out of his pants he will be alive now. And we can be on the M5 to Durban. Jaco, Elmarie and little Junie Carter-Retief. A familie.

Jaco floors the accelerator and sets off towards Cape Town. The acceleration is pap. They also have sea down there but no bananas. He starts to sing. ‘Ring Of Fire’. He doesn’t know why. He can’t explain it. Maybe this is what Elron Hubbard calls the free flow of energy. Something like that. Or maybe exteriorisation which is when you leave your body behind.

That’s me. That’s Jaco Retief. I left my body behind in Nelspruit. I fell into a ring of fire. A ring of fire.