The Baby Arrangement

Faith staggered back, stunned by Jared’s revelation.

“Yes, I know you’re not Paula. You’re Faith Nelson, her twin sister.”

Jared quickly explained how he’d learned the truth. As Faith listened, she wasn’t sure whether she was relieved or angry that he’d known her identity for some time.

“Let’s continue this conversation in the living room, shall we?” he suggested. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink.”

As Jared ushered her into the room, Faith tried to gather her scattered thoughts. In a matter of hours she’d gone from being soundly kissed by a man she’d grown to admire during the past few days, a man she believed was married to her sister, to learning he wasn’t married to Paula after all and he’d known almost from the outset she’d been impersonating her twin.

“Brandy?” Jared asked as he crossed to the coffee table containing the tray of liqueurs.

“No, thank you.” Faith dropped into the easy chair.

Jared poured himself a brandy, and after taking a generous sip moved to stand in front of the replace.

“Paula called this afternoon while I was out, didn’t she?” he repeated.

Startled, Faith glanced up to find Jared staring at her intently. “Yes.” There was little point lying.

“What’s she up to? What scheme is she planning next?” Frustration and anger colored his tone. “If she thinks I’m going to stand by and let her take my son without a fight, she’s mad.”

“She is Nicky’s mother. She loves him,” she protested. But her voice lacked conviction, and even as she spoke the words she wasn’t sure she actually believed them.

Jared snorted. “You don’t believe that any more than I do. Paula loves Paula, period, and she isn’t any more interested in raising her son than in taking up swimming lessons. She’s only interested in using him, or you, or anyone for that matter as long as she ends up getting what she wants.”

Faith’s breath caught in her throat. Jared’s analysis of Paula was decidedly astute.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” he challenged.

“Don’t you think you’re painting rather a harsh picture of her? Paula is ambitious, and yes, she is selfish at times, but that’s human nature. We’re all guilty of selfishness now and then,” she defended. “Besides, you must have seen something appealing about her,” she added bluntly, and watched as color crept up his neck and face.

“Point taken,” he acknowledged. “But from the moment she told me she was pregnant, I knew she had her own game plan. And I was right.” He downed the remainder of the brandy.

“Jared—”

“She didn’t want Nicky,” he interrupted, his tone brutal. “She signed a paper granting me sole custody of the baby. Everything was going according to plan until she ran off.

“All I could think of was she’d suddenly had a change of heart. But I’m beginning to wonder if she even has a heart,” he added bitterly. “If it takes everything I have, I’m prepared to fight to keep my son right here with me where he belongs.”

Faith heard the fierce determination in Jared’s voice, as well as the fear lurking just beneath the surface. She hadn’t until now realized how deeply he loved Nicky, and she was hard-pressed to offer up any argument.

“All I know is Paula said she’d be here sometime tomorrow. She wants to talk to you, to try and sort things out,” Faith told him, wishing she could offer Jared some reassurance.

“And you believed her?” Jarred scoffed.

Faith flinched. She kept telling herself he had every right to be furious with her, every right to think she wasn’t telling the truth.

“If you want me to leave, I’ll understand,” she said, and rose from the chair.

Jared darted her a startled glance, and for a moment Faith glimpsed an emotion in the depths of his eyes he quickly masked. “What’s the point?” he countered.

“I should have told you who I was from the start. I’m truly sorry.”

“You may have been living a lie,” Jared said, “but for what it’s worth, I believe you were only doing it for Nicky’s sake. I doubt he’d be such a happy, contented baby if you hadn’t been here to take care of him. For that I thank you.”

Faith felt a warmth spread through her at his words. Looking after Nicky had been both a joy and a comfort. Paula’s arrival tomorrow would change everything.

“It’s late, and I’m rather tired,” Faith said, suddenly weary.

Jared made no move to detain her. Once upstairs, she peeked in on Nicky, who was sleeping soundly. She stood staring down at the child who’d come to mean everything to her, and felt her eyes sting with tears.

She knew it would break her heart to leave Nicky. Taking care of a healthy, happy baby had proved to be a cathartic experience, allowing her to finally come to terms with the loss of her daughter.

But it wasn’t only the thought of leaving Nicky that brought an ache to her heart. In one short week, she’d grown to care for the man who was Nicky’s father. He’d shown her there were still honorable, sensitive and caring men left in the world; men willing to accept their responsibilities; men capable of loving a child, completely and unconditionally.

Faith sat up in bed with a start, wondering what had awakened her. Glancing at the clock on her bedside table, she saw it was a little after six. The chimes of the doorbell suddenly echoed through the house.

Pushing the covers aside, she grabbed her sweater from the foot of the bed. She opened her bedroom door in time to see Jared, wearing only his jeans, hurrying down the hallway.

“Who the blazes can that be at this hour?” he mumbled as he disappeared downstairs.

Faith came to a halt at the top of the stairs, wondering if Paula was their early-morning visitor.

“Sheriff Yates! Good morning. Is there a problem?” she heard Jared ask.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Mr. McAndrew,” came the reply. “But it’s very important. Do you know a Ms. Paula Preston?”

“Yes,” Jared replied cautiously.

“Your name and address were found amongst Ms. Preston’s belongings. Are you, by any chance, a relative?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Jared hedged. “Why?” he asked before darting a glance toward the stairs.

“Would you happen to know how we could get in touch with Ms. Preston’s family?” Sheriff Yates continued.

“You’d better come in.” Jared stood aside. Glosing the outer door, he turned to see Faith making her way down the stairs, an anxious expression on her face. “Sheriff Yates, this is Faith Nelson. She’s Paula’s twin sister,” Jared explained.

The sheriff removed his hat. Holding it against his chest, he nodded solemnly. “Ms. Nelson.”

“Sheriff, what is it? What’s happened?” Faith asked, sensing from the somber look on the man’s face that something was dreadfully wrong.

“There’s been an accident.”

“An accident? My sister? Is she all right?” Faith took a step toward the sheriff.

Sheriff Yates met her gaze and slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry to have to tell you, miss, but your sister is dead.”

Faith gasped and took a step back. “No! There’s been a mistake.” She darted a frightened glance at Jared. “I talked to her yesterday. She was fine. She’s coming here today. Please, there must be some mistake,” Faith repeated, as if saying the words would somehow make them true.

Jared crossed to where Faith stood shivering, her face ashen, her expression a mixture of shock and disbelief. Putting his arm around her, he urged her to lean on him.

“Sheriff Yates,” Jared said, turning to the officer. “Could you tell us what happened? Was it a car accident?”

“No,” the sheriff replied. “A call came through to my office a little while ago from a patrolman in L.A. Apparently Ms. Preston had been celebrating with a few friends last night. They’d been drinking in the hotel bar and had moved outside to the hotel grounds, where they started creating quite a disturbance.

“Several hotel guests called the front desk to complain, and the police were called in. When the two patrolmen got there, Ms. Preston, whom they described to be in a highly intoxicated state, had climbed up one of the large concrete fountains in the garden.”

“What happened?” Jared asked, urgency in his voice.

“According to witnesses, she turned to wave to her friends and lost her footing. She fell, hitting her head on the concrete. She was pronounced dead at the scene.”

“No! No...l” Faith sagged against Jared. She could imagine Paula behaving foolishly, but to risk her life!

“I’m sorry for your loss, miss,” the sheriff said, but Faith was too shocked to answer.

“Thank you, Sheriff.” Jared tightened his hold on Faith.

At that moment Nicky started crying. Faith automatically turned toward the sound.

“Why don’t you go upstairs and take care of Nicky,” Jared suggested. “I’ll be up in a minute, once I see the sheriff out.”

Faith drew a steadying breath, blinking back the tears gathering in her eyes. “All right.” Moving out of the shelter of his arms, she turned and climbed the stairs.

Up in the nursery, Faith deliberately pushed all thoughts of Paula from her mind.

Lifting Nicky from the crib, she held him against her breast and murmured soft words of comfort. Crossing to the rocking chair, she sat down, wondering for a moment if the reason Nicky had awakened was that he’d somehow sensed the horrible tragedy that had befallen his mother.

It couldn’t be true! Paula wasn’t dead! It had to be a mistake! But while her brain tried desperately to deny it, she knew in her heart it was true.

Drawing a deep, ragged breath, Faith fought to keep the pain and sorrow threatening to swamp her at bay.

Though their relationship hadn’t been as close as some twins enjoyed, the realization that she would never again see her beautiful, talented sister, that Paula’s dreams of stardom were lost forever, evoked a deep and profound sadness.

“Is Nicky all right?” Jared’s softly spoken question cut through her musings. Unable to speak, Faith simply nodded. “Should I warm a bottle for him?” he asked.

This time Faith shook her head. Tears were gathering in her eyes, but she blinked them away, fearful that once she started to cry, she might never stop.

Nicky had fallen back to sleep, but Faith was reluctant to relinquish her hold on him. She lingered for a few moments more, then rising from the chair, she returned Nicky to the comfort of his crib.

After covering him with his blanket, she stood staring down at her sister’s child. She found a small measure of comfort in the knowledge that Paula’s spirit would live on in Nicky, that she’d left behind a wonderful legacy.

When she turned to leave she was surprised to see Jared standing in the doorway. He took a step toward her.

“Faith, I’m so sorry.” His voice was a whisper of sound. “I know Paula and I were at odds about Nicky, but she was his mother and she didn’t deserve such a horrible fate.”

Faith heard the pain and sincerity in his voice, and suddenly it was all too much as the block of emotion lodged in her throat broke free in a heart-wrenching sob.

Jared reacted instantly, pulling her against his solid frame, and as his arms closed around her, a torrent of tears poured down her cheeks.

He held her to him while she wept tears of anger, of regret and of sorrow, until, exhausted, she could weep no more.

When Jared lifted her into his arms and carried her to her bedroom, she didn’t have the strength to either protest or resist. And as she drifted off to sleep, she thought she felt his mouth, as soft as an angel’s, briefly brush hers.

It had been two weeks since Paula’s death. Faith was sitting in the nursery trying to get her cranky nephew to go to sleep.

“Is that my son I hear whining and crying?” Jared said as he entered the nursery. “Why don’t you let me try to settle him down,” he offered.

“He’s all yours,” Faith responded with some relief, rising from the rocking chair. “He’s been fussing all day. He doesn’t have a temperature, but I’m wondering if he’s coming down with a cold or something.”

“I hope not,” Jared said, deftly taking his son from Faith. In slow circular motions he began rubbing Nicky’s back and was instantly rewarded with a noisy burp.

“Atta boy! I bet you feel better,” Jared added with a chuckle.

Faith smiled. “You certainly have a knack with him.”

“Thanks, I think. Oh, Faith.”

She turned and met his gaze, feeling her heart jam against her rib cage in reaction.

“We need to talk,” he said.

Faith nodded. “I’ll be in the kitchen,” she said before slipping from the room.

Downstairs, she busied herself making a pot of tea. While she waited for the water to boil her thoughts drifted over the past two weeks. Jared had been a tower of strength, insisting on being the one to fly to L.A. Faith had offered little opposition, agreeing with Jared’s argument that it would simplify matters if she stayed and took care of Nicky.

Difficult as it had been, they’d discussed funeral arrangements. She’d agreed with Jared’s suggestion for a cremation. He’d also proposed delaying the small private service until her parents returned from New Zealand.

While Jared was in L.A., Faith managed to track down her parents at her aunt’s house in Auckland. When she’d told them the news about Paula, they’d wanted to fly back immediately, but she’d managed to dissuade them. They’d greeted the news about Nicky with surprise and ultimately joy, and had wanted to know about Jared, who Faith told them was a wonderful father. She also passed along Jared’s invitation for them to come for a visit once they returned from New Zealand.

But it was her mother’s comments about Paula that stood out most in Faith’s memory.

She’d always thought her parents favored Paula, until her mother expressed her sadness over the fact that Paula had always been insecure. She’d told Faith that they’d often despaired that Paula’s need for attention would one day be her undoing.

Faith’s thoughts were cut off by the sound of the teakettle whistling. Reaching up to open a cabinet, she realized how comfortable and happy she’d become in Jared’s home. Her mother had asked her when she was heading back to. San Francisco, and Faith hadn’t known the answer.

But much as she hated the thought of leaving Nicky, she knew she couldn’t stay on indefinitely.

“Are you making tea? I could use a cup,” Jared said when he joined her in the kitchen.

“Did you manage to get Nicky to settle down?” she asked, setting the tray with the teapot, two cups and saucers, a cream jug and sugar bowl on the table.

“Yes, finally,” Jared replied. “But he’s up there in his crib staring at his mobile. He’s fascinated with it. I can’t believe how much he’s grown since we brought him home.”

Faith felt her heart falter. Jared was speaking as if they were Nicky’s parents, and it was all she could do to control the rush of emotion engulfing her.

She managed a smile. “Next he’ll be rolling over, then sitting up, then crawling,” she said as she poured tea into the cups.

“Thanks,” Jared said, and reached for the cream jug. “And before we know it he’ll be asking for the keys to the car and saying he has a date with the prettiest girl in town.” He laughed.

The deep rich sound sent a shiver of longing chasing down Faith’s spine, and not for the first time she wished she could stay around and watch Nicky grow up to manhood.

She was becoming much too fond of these moments, moments when they talked about Nicky, sharing observations, about how often he smiled, or if he’d shown interest in a new toy.

“Listen, Faith, I know it’s only been two weeks since the accident, but we haven’t had a chance to sit down and talk.” Jared’s tone was serious. “I just want to tell you how much I appreciate all you’ve done for Nicky, and for me.”

“Jared, please,” Faith interjected. “Having Nicky to look after has helped me a great deal, more than you can ever know.”

Jared’s gaze held hers for a long moment. “I’m glad,” he said. “Losing your sister has been hard enough to deal with. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must have gone through when you lost your child.”

The sympathy and concern in his voice was almost her undoing. Tears gathered in her eyes.

“Faith, I’m so sorry,” Jared said. “I’m a clumsy fool. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He reached over and covered her hand with his in a gesture that melted her heart.

“I’m fine,” she said in a husky voice, wondering how Jared knew about Erica. “Losing someone you love is heartbreaking, but losing a child is like losing a part of yourself,” she said. “But I wouldn’t change a moment of the five brief but wonderful days I had with my daughter.”

“She only lived for five days?” Jared asked, wishing he’d paid closer attention to what his friend DeMarco had told him about Paula’s twin sister.

“Yes,” Faith replied, gently pulling her hand free.

“At least you had your husband...” he said.

Faith shot him an angry glare. “My husband left when I was four months pregnant. That was the same day the doctors told us the child I was carrying would have little chance of survival. I guess he just couldn’t face it,” she said, fighting for control.

“You faced it. You were there for your daughter when she needed you. That took courage.”

Fresh tears welled up in her eyes and a warmth stole through her at his words. He wasn’t at all like Glen; he’d been there for Paula. Jared was a man of much higher caliber.

Not for the first time since Jared had barged into her life, Faith wished things were different, wished Nicky were her son, wished... But wishes rarely come true.

“Did you love your husband very much?” Jared asked, knowing he was prying, but unable to stop himself.

The ghost of a smile curved her mouth. “I was twenty-three when I met him. What did I know about love?” She shook her head. “That’s all in the past. What’s important is Nicky and what’s best for him.”

“You’ve done a wonderful job so far. But we both know things can’t go on like this. You have a house and a career waiting for you back in San Francisco. And I can’t, in good conscience, allow you to put your life on hold indefinitely. It’s time for us both to move on.”