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Sunday. Private Recovery Facility, Bethesda, MD.
The aches and pains had set in. Yvonne’s head hurt. The night nurse had encouraged her to take some pain pills. Yvonne had declined. It was already too hard to stay awake.
She turned the faucet on and splashed cold water on her face. The icy needles shocked her awake again. She straightened and looked herself over in the mirror.
Boy, she was a sight.
The lump on her head was going down, thanks to whatever miracle cream the nurses had given her. There wasn’t anything that could be done about the bruising. It looked far worse than it felt. The electrical burns on the other hand hurt far worse. But she would heal. The physical hurts always did.
It was the ones she couldn’t see that worried her.
Nolan hadn’t called her back. There was no word except for a short phone call from Dad. She had no idea what happened where they all were. With the early morning hours creeping onward, they were probably sleeping.
Yvonne turned the lights off and paced into the room.
Her head was still fuzzy. She couldn’t recall Nolan’s exact words, but she couldn’t forget the hurt and anger in his eyes. That was her fault.
What if he never came back?
What if that was his answer?
Her heart ached and tears prickled her eyes.
She sank down on the sofa and turned to stare out the windows at the city. Any moment now the sun would begin to rise, starting with a little gray, a tiny bit of light in all that darkness.
Yvonne would get through this. She was too tough not to. But she didn’t want to be alone. Nolan had become her partner, the person she could trust, and she missed that. She missed him. He was right. They’d shared something special, and now it was dying because she’d been too scared to trust him all the way.
She had no one but herself to blame.
He’d told her about his mother, the lies. It didn’t take a genius to understand that he would see her hesitation as deception.
She buried her face in the crook of her elbow and let her tears fall onto the couch cushion.
When she’d told Nolan work came first, and then everything else, she hadn’t known she’d been in love with him. Or would be. She still didn’t know when it had happened, only that it had and now the idea of him not in her life scared her.
Someone tapped at her door.
Yvonne was in no mood for the nurse’s regular check-in.
“I’m awake. I’m fine. I don’t need anything,” she called out and hoped the woman took the hint.
The door creaked open anyway.
Yvonne lifted her head and stared out the window, doing her best to stealth-wipe the tears away.
A large figure reflected back at her, too big to be the petite nurse.
Yvonne’s heart twinged and for a moment she forgot to breathe.
Nolan was there. She wanted to be happy, but the truth was, she didn’t know what his presence meant.
“No one needs apology donuts,” he said and shut the door behind him.
She dried her cheek then turned, only now noticing the white bakery box in his hand.
“I think best when I can just drive, and I figured I shouldn’t show up empty handed.” He remained standing by the door, all that space between them.
Yvonne swallowed. What did he need to think about? Why a gift?
“Your family is going to stay in a FBI safe house for the night, probably tomorrow. Everyone has questions. Best they can tell right now, the people who kidnapped you were doing it on a competitor’s dime. An agent will be by to bother you tomorrow, but the most important thing is that everyone is okay.”
“A competitor? Who?” Yvonne gaped at him. They worked in IT security, nothing crazy.
“Don’t know. It’s just a theory right now.”
“Is Melody okay?”
“Yeah.” His brows rose, and he shook his head.
“What does that mean?”
Nolan ambled toward the bed and set the donuts on the rolling tray. “I’ve worked with Melody for about a year and a half now. I knew she had a license to carry a gun, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with one until last night. She’s always behind the scenes. I guess I didn’t realize she’s not just there to handle things for us.”
“Why is Grant so mean to her?” It was a question that had bugged Yvonne.
“You know, that’s been bugging me for a while. They’re almost always at each other’s throats behind the scenes. You don’t see how they get into it when you’re not around.” He shook his head. “I’m wondering if there isn’t something going on we don’t know about?”
“You mean, are they together?”
“Nah.” Nolan shook his head.
Yvonne wasn’t so sure. Melody was a strong personality despite her quiet exterior. If she wanted to take Grant on, Yvonne’s money was on Melody. But not everyone wanted a challenging partner.
Nolan was challenging.
They remained where they were, studying each other.
“Can we rewind?” he asked.
“To when?”
“To the part right before my phone rang, when I realized my mouth was moving but my brain wasn’t working?” Nolan took a few steps closer.
“Okay.” Yvonne clasped her hands in her lap.
“I was pissed because all I heard was that you didn’t expect me to be involved—”
She sat up straighter. “That wasn’t—”
“Let me finish?” He held up both hands. He was only a few feet away now, creeping closer. “Because that wasn’t what you said.”
“No.” She’d specifically led with other options for that reason.
“You were being you, planning for every inevitable outcome, but all I heard was, I don’t need you.” Nolan perched on the edge of the sofa, a little ways away from her. “You’ve had a little time to wrap your head around all of this. My first reaction is not always my best one.”
Yvonne could attest to that. Nolan reacted. He was passionate. She didn’t have to wonder what he thought because it popped out of his mouth, wanted or not. And what had struck a chord in him was the idea that she didn’t want or need him in her life. That was the exact opposite of her intentions.
He wanted to be part of it. This. Whatever was happening.
Nolan scooted closer. Yvonne stopped breathing as that fact sunk in.
He was willing to fight her to be in their child’s life.
He reached over and wrapped his hand around hers. She could smell soap on his skin. He wasn’t wearing the same clothes he had from earlier. His jeans and T-shirt were different. Under that, he was still Nolan. The man she hadn’t expected.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said. “I’m totally out of my depth here. But I’m not abandoning any kid of mine or you. You got that? Now, we said we’d see where things went after all this. So it’s a little more complicated? Big deal. I know Vegas was a bad way to make you believe that I’m not a guy who walks away from things, but I promise you that’s not who I am.”
“Oh.” The one word stuttered out of her and her heart squeezed. She needed him to say exactly what he meant because she’d fallen off a cliff into something she wanted so badly.
His face went serious. Hard. “I don’t want your parents jerking your strings. I’ll play nice right now but you have got to know I’m not putting up with that shit.”
“Deal,” she said around the lump in her throat.
“My parents aren’t much better. We’ve got shit role models to go off. I’m going to fuck up a lot. I have to work on thinking before I react. I’m stubborn and hardheaded which means our kid is probably going to be a tough shit.”
A laugh bubbled up out of her and a tear trickled down her cheek. She could work with this. If he wanted to give her a chance, maybe she could show him he could love her like she loved him.
“Come here. I need this.” Nolan gently tugged her to him until he had her tucked up against his side, his arms sheltering her. “God, Vee, today is the best and worst day of my life.”
She felt his lips kiss the top of her head.
“It has been a roller coaster, hasn’t it?” She laid her cheek on his shoulder, her heart swelling so much her ribs hurt then whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“No more secrets, okay?”
Her throat closed up. She couldn’t speak, so she nodded. Except she was lying already.
Yvonne was hiding one more thing. She’d gone off and fallen in love with him.
NOLAN CLOSED HIS EYES and breathed in the scent of shampoo, soap and disinfectant.
She hadn’t tossed him out. She’d listened to him. Maybe he’d get her to forgive him, too?
He’d never forget staring into her wide, fearful eyes right before he’d shut the closet door on her.
I love you.
He bent his head and kissed her brow again, so damn grateful everything had worked out.
She tipped her chin up. Her hand rose to cup the back of his neck. His whole world shrunk to her lips, the sweetest ones he’d ever kissed. When he would have pulled back, she shifted closer, holding him tighter. All he wanted was her in his arms, his life, his heart. He was powerless against this tiny woman.
Yvonne slid onto his lap, her fingers weaving through his hair.
This could get out of hand fast. As much as his cock wanted to sink into her, there was more to discuss. He groaned and broke the kiss, burying his face in her hair.
She laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him.
How lucky was he?
On a random night in a flashy bar, he’d run into this amazing woman, and his life was better for it.
“I want to be part of this, Vee.” He cupped her cheek and stared into her eyes. She had to know he was serious. He didn’t want any misunderstanding between them.
“I don’t want to do this alone. I’d like you to be part of it, but I don’t want to force you, either.”
“I’m sorry for how I acted last night. The whole day—fuck.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.
“That’s not how I’d have preferred for you to find out.” She ran her hand down his chest, her palm coming to rest over his heart.
“I was an idiot, overwhelmed, scared, stupid. I knew the day I left Vegas you were a good thing. No matter what shit I say, I want to be part of this next chapter. Even if I’m bad at it.”
She chuckled. “It’s okay to be imperfect parents. I don’t think anyone has it all together.”
“I think you’re pretty damn perfect.”
Yvonne smiled and glanced away.
He cupped her cheek and gently turned her face until she looked at him.
“No more secrets, right?” he whispered.
“That’s the deal.”
“Okay, well, I’ve got one I have to share.”
“Oh?”
“My priorities have changed. Work will always be important, but you’re my number one. I love you, Vee. I knew you were something special when we met, I just didn’t know how special you were going to be to me.”
She blinked a few times and pressed her hand to her mouth. Tears pooled in her eyes and her face creased.
“Too soon?” He winced.
She shook her head then kissed him. Her tears fell on his cheek. Her arms held him close.
“I love you, too,” she whispered against his lips.
“Really?” He grinned and for the first time in a long time a sense of peace wrapped around him.
“Really.”
“We’re going to make this work.” He stroked his fingers through her hair.
“I’d also like to know how we wound up here, for future reference. Do you have super sperm I should know about?”
Nolan sputtered a laugh. Usually that was her thing. “Not that I’m aware of.”
“We did use protection, didn’t we?”
“Every time. I think? Part of that night is a little hazy.” He squinted at her.
She stared at him, eyes bright, the morning light giving her a soft glow. “I don’t think I care one way or the other how it happened. I’m...excited. My whole life, I’ve tried to be Theo. But I’m never going to be him. Now, I get to be me.”
“I like you a lot.” He tugged her closer for another kiss. “So, what’s our plan?”
“Well, I’ll issue a resignation notice Monday. I figure I’ve got three months before I can’t hide my bump. That’ll give me time to train a replacement. When I’m satisfied I’ll quit. And that’s when I’ll tell everyone about the baby. Not before.”
“You don’t think they’ll be mad?”
“Probably, but...I don’t want their input. I don’t want to raise a child the way I was raised. I want things to be different. And I have the money to do it how I want to. I’ll sell my New York condo, move out of L.A., downsize...”
Nolan wasn’t a fool enough to think emotions magically fixed everything. He and Yvonne might love each other, but they had a tough road ahead.
“Where do you think you’ll move?” he asked.
“Well, there’s this guy who said he loves me. I’d kind of like to be closer to him, see how things go.” She traced his lips with a tip of her finger.
“You don’t have to move to Seattle. I don’t have to stay with Aegis Group. I can do something different.” Right now he’d give up just about anything if she asked.
“No. Oh, no.” She shook her head. “Only one of us can be in massive life revamp, and right now that’s me. If that’s what you want to do, you have to wait at least a year or two before we do anything crazy like that.”
“So, we’re doing this?”
“If you want to.”
“I want to. Right now.” He grinned and sat up.
“Now?” She glanced at the door.
He whispered into her ear, “You’re good at keeping quiet.”
Yvonne laughed and twined her arms around his neck. She’d opened up to him, granted him the heart of this beautiful woman she didn’t share with the world. And now she was giving him so much more.
Life wasn’t always neat lines. Their love was messy, imperfect, and it destroyed all his orderly boxes.
Totally worth it.
