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In the subconscious, Hyienna slept, hoping to find in his dreams the respite this tortured reality would not afford him.
But it didn’t. Instead, he felt lost, running from an unseen danger, like the demons of Barcelona that would not let up. Whether in life or in dream space, Hyienna was always running.
Formentera was supposed to be the promised land that would wipe the red from Hyienna’s ledger, offer him a fresh start. But as he revisited the land in his dreams, the echoes of Barcelona came from within, straining against the surfaces. Was this all Hyienna would ever amount to? A foundation formed from poor judgment and reckless decisions? Always being forced to take the cautious life and never knowing contentment?
And everywhere Hyienna turned, he could see Kal standing there, his face inviting and friendly. “If you possess any wisdom at all, you will catch the next ferry to the mainland and leave this place behind. You do not belong here.” Kal’s words ricocheted through his subconscious, a logic that Hyienna found strangely inviting. At times he felt like a blind man, wandering through a forever-unfamiliar landscape.
But as he wandered through the dreamspace, Hyienna realised that the blindless was forced on him by no one but himself. He wanted to treat his former self as a separate entity, to put an unspoken divide between the man he was and the man he wanted to be. But the past was forever upon him, tainting everything he had wanted to make for himself in Barcelona.
His thoughts turned to Nathaniel, a man who seemed cloaked in mystery. Every time Hyienna assumed that he had a bead on the man, a new layer of fog rose up around him, clouding Hyienna’s judgment.
As Hyienna’s mind drifted, trying to find a focus for the trepidations he was facing, Nathaniel became an increasing focus in his mind; just what did he know about the man? Hyienna remembered when he sighted him out on the beach, how he could have been everything and nothing at the same time. No matter how Hyienna had tried to fit Nathaniel into his preconceived notions, he always found himself concluding that Nathaniel was a man out of time and he didn’t belong in Barcelona, any more than Hyienna did.
And then he flashed to the meeting at Solomon’s party, where Nathaniel had put him at ease with his apparent altruism. It took a lot for Hyienna to trust a man. He had once heard the expression, “You allow a man with a dark past into your life, you end up inheriting all his debts.”
But Nathaniel was different. Hyienna knew that the moment he first laid eyes on him. If there was a darkness about him, it was a darkness that Hyienna was willing to invite. But during the lunch, that first glimpse of Kal, the way he had been able to instantly recall details the man had not been privy to, as though Kal was greeting an old friend.
Then there had been his longing for Sarah. It was while he had been making the final preparations to help Nathaniel through his courtship that he had first noticed a deep sense of longing in Nathaniel, as though he had a hole in his heart that he felt only Sarah could fill. He watched this confident man turn into a school boy, stumbling over his words. And then that mud fight where Hyienna had actually seen the hold Nathaniel had over Sarah.
Hyienna wanted that kinship for himself. And he wondered if that was what had pushed him to tell Nathaniel not to repeat the past. Was he doing it out of a sense of concern for broken souls? Or was he doing it because deep down, there was still a part of him that wanted to lash out and hurt Sarah? Part of him felt that he should have pushed Nathaniel harder. But he needn’t have bothered. He could tell that the two were locked onto a collision course.
He was dreaming again, this time of an egg, being passed around like a precious jewel between women. The dream was a peculiar one as Hyienna seemed to be playing no part in the proceedings. He only acted as an invisible overseer watching the entire display.
There was one woman that stood out; a robed woman who was speaking frantically. Hyienna couldn’t place the words she was speaking, but the women surrounding her were cowed. One of them even seemed to be pleading. But the robed women would not be silenced. And as she spoke, the sky darkened above the land.
But before Hyienna could see the outcome of the woman’s proclamation, he was hurled out of the land and into consciousness again, now in his own bed. He realised that he was drenched in sweat, a tidal wave of neurosis having overwhelmed him.
He opened up his dream journal and scrawled in uneven handwriting what he had dreamed before the memory vanished from his mind. Comparing that with all of his other dreams was a difficult task. He felt that he was being gifted separate pieces from separate puzzles, but he had no idea how to fit them all together.
I can’t go on like this, he thought to himself. He couldn’t go on living in a world of half-truths. He needed answers.
***
EARLY IN THE EVENING, Hyienna walked swiftly down the streets of Barcelona, wishing he had an item of clothing that would conceal his face, possibly a hat or a scarf. Of course, such clothing would only serve to draw unwanted attention to him. Given the time he had spent in Barcelona, it was probable that a few people knew his name and face, but he didn’t want to take the risk of being discovered. What he was going to do required stealth.
As he walked, Hyienna glanced out of the corner of his eye at the people passing by. People paid him little mind, but as far as Hyienna was concerned, they were all enemies waiting to be made.
The day before, with Sarah and Nathaniel otherwise preoccupied, Hyienna had made his excuses, feigning an illness, and had gone about looking through contacts. He already knew that Barcelona was home to many traders, but today, he was looking for someone in the information trade.
The source had been difficult to come by and the individual in question had questioned whether Hyienna really wanted to be put in contact with this individual. To speak with this man would be tantamount to opening Pandora’s Box.
But he needed to move forward. And now, it felt like a price worth paying.
He arrived at a bar located on the edge of the city called the Catalan Lounge and entered.
The bar was sparsely populated and looking around at the characters. A man whose skin was shrivelled up, streaks of jet white hair. He looked as though he might predate the whole city. There was a woman present who was dressed in a smart business suit, keeping to herself, but making her distaste present. It was clear she didn’t want to be caught dead in a place like this.
Hyienna had heard whispers about the Catalan Lounge. He had heard that it was a place where if you wanted the unattainable in life, you had to be willing to dance with the devil.
He considered ordering a drink, but he didn’t want to risk announcing his presence any more than he already had done. He just sat in a corner of the bar and waited for his potential benefactor to make an appearance.
Fifteen minutes passed. People came in and out of the bar, but no one came over to Hyienna’s table, clearly there on their own business and with no intention of mixing socially.
Hyienna wondered if he had the right man. Wondered if there had been some mix-up in the appointments. Or maybe he had gotten the wrong bar.
As he pondered whether there was somewhere else that he needed to be, a soft voice whispered in his ear, “Well, I’ll give you points for punctuality, my friend.”
Hyienna almost jumped out of his seat, prompting the surprised reactions of a few patrons, who quickly went back to their own business.
Hyienna looked up at the man who had spoken. He was a tall black man in dreadlocks, wearing a jet-black trench coat. Underneath, Hyienna could see that he was wearing an open shirt underneath, and a gold chain with a variety of jewels was dangling around his neck. “A pleasure to meet you, Hyienna” The man’s voice was so soothing and soft Hyienna felt as though he was having his ears wiped with silk. Then Hyienna remembered that this man had never set eye on Hyienna in his life.
“You... you’re late” was all Hyienna managed to say.
“Oh, quite to the contrary, my friend,” said the man. “I was here from the beginning. I like to hang back. Sometimes, sat there alone, the weight of their decisions hanging over them, people realise what is expected of them and make the smart decision to get out of dodge.”
“And the ones who stay?” said Hyienna, daring himself to ask.
The man smiled thinly. “You’re still here, aren’t you? That’s a sign that you’re hungry.” He paused, looking Hyienna up and down. “And you look positively dehydrated.” He clicked his fingers in the direction of the bartender. “My good man” he announced. “Could you trouble us for two Calimocho?”
The bartender nodded and went about preparing the drinks. Hyienna staggered, embarrassed. “Please, let me get this.”
“Hey, it’s my treat. Some people say you should keep business and pleasure separate. I respectfully disagree; I prefer the philosophy that says ‘the only business in life worth doing is the one that brings you pleasure.’”
“And who said that?”
“Me” said the man simply, holding out a hand. Hyienna took it reluctantly.
“I’m... I’m sorry, I just realised I don’t know your name.”
“People call me the Stream. Information flows through me like a river. It travels down certain routes and always gets to where it needs to go.”
“Right” said Hyienna slowly. “Does that mean you’re good with computers?”
The Stream looked Hyienna up and down as though he had grown a third eye. “No” he said, then added. “Shall we get started?”
Hyienna sat down in his seat while the Stream eased himself into the spare one. Before Hyienna could say anything more, the bartender came over with the two drinks. “That was quick” noted Hyienna.
“Helps to have friends in high places” purred the Stream. Hyienna hoped that he wasn’t talking about this place, looking around at the decaying paint, the décor that looked like it belonged to the last century. He was still taking in the place when he realised the Stream was holding his drink in the air. “Cheers” he said. And not wanting to offend, Hyienna clinked his glass, taking a small sip while the Stream downed his drink until it was half-empty.
“Interesting story behind the Calimocho, you know” said the Stream, setting his glass down on the aged table. “It’s not actually native to Barcelona or Catalunya. It was popularised by university students who were on the lookout for a cheap beverage, while still trying to kid themselves that they possessed something resembling class. During the 1970s, it was known as Cuba Libre del pobre, which essentially translates as ‘the poor man’s drink’. Apparently, vendors in the Basque Country realised that their wine had gone bad and mixed it with cola to mask the sour taste. And now, we seem to have appropriated it into our culture.” Hyienna detected a veil of disgust in the Stream’s tone.
“I’m sorry” said Hyienna. “Is there a point to this story or am I supposed to guess.”
The Stream leaned over the table, staring into Hyienna’s face with piercing eyes. “This city has a habit of collecting strays. Those who live here long enough will be able to swallow up the taste as though it were tap water. But those who recoil... they still have the stench of the outside on them... and you, amic, you have the essence of Barcelona bouncing off of you.”
Now Hyienna was beginning to lose his patience. He couldn’t tell what the Stream was getting at, but he was certain it was something derogatory, a show of superiority intended to take a stab at Hyienna’s ignorance. “With respect, Stream...” Even as he said the word, it clashed with his tongue, as though it didn’t fit the man. “...I didn’t come here for a boozing lecture. I came here because I was told you might be able to help me with something. Something that has been troubling me for some time and possibly, something that only you can help me with.” He threw in a touch of flattery in the hope that that would make the Stream more willing to aid him.
“You have been pointed in the right direction,” said the Stream.
“So, you are a private detective?”
“I have been known to dabble from time to time. I have always been good at finding out the information that everyone is desperate to keep hidden. They think they can cover their tracks and bury their secrets in bottomless graves. But I adore the challenge.” He smirked, memories of successful past cases flashing before his eyes, reflecting both confidence and triumph.
“How do you go about finding this information?” asked Hyienna wearily.
The Stream tutted. “Come, come, amic. You know better than to peek behind the curtain. A magician never reveals his methods.”
“I need to know because I don’t want to get involved in anything illeg-”
“Illegal?” The Stream cackled slightly, a scratchy sound that sounded like nails against a stone floor. “If this information you wanted was easily accessible, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’d be telling you to perch your ass in front of a computer and get Googling. The only other alternative is to go up to your quarry and ask him for the information. But I’m guessing he wouldn’t tell you. Possibly because he figures you might weaponize it against him?”
Hyienna gulped. He had tried to be sparse beforehand with the information he had sent out so that it wouldn’t be traced back to him if no candidates for the job came forward. But he was both impressed and unnerved by how much knowledge this man brought to the table. He was now certain that the Stream was the right man for the job... but he was still unsure of whether that was a good thing.
“So, let’s start from the beginning” announced the Stream. “What is your beef with this gentleman? Did he cheat you? Does he have a woman you would rather have on your arms?”
Hyienna couldn’t be sure as to whether the Stream was making very accurate guesses or was just showing off his demonstrated knowledge. Either way, Hyienna reached into his bag and pulled out a handmade dossier on Nathaniel that he had prepared. He pulled it open to the first page. “Now, to start with...”
The Stream chortled. “Oh, that’s cute. I’m serious, that is truly adorable.”
Embarrassed, Hyienna said, “I thought that-”
“You can put that thing away. You won’t be needing it” said the Stream assuredly.
“What?”
“I’m serious. Just tell me what your problem is with this guy, what you need to know, and I will take it all in.”
At first, Hyienna thought – and hoped – that he was joking. But the Stream was looking at him now like a poker player who all, but knew he had the winning hand. “But how will you take it all in?”
The Stream raised an eyebrow. “My ears?”
“You don’t need-”
“Hyienna, we live in an age where information is alarmingly easy to pilfer. That’s how it always ends up in the wrong hands, armed by people with no idea how to use it properly. Like a toddler being gifted a loaded gun.”
“I really feel for your sake, it might be easier if I just read out...” said Hyienna, his eyes going down to the dossier.
The Stream’s smile slipped. “I can understand that this may be a bit unnerving for you. You aren’t sure of the direction you’re headed in, you feel like you’re going to hurl yourself into the abyss along the way. You probably have an abundance of doubts, but my competence should not be among them.
“So, start from the beginning, tell me everything you know about this man. And leave no detail out whatsoever. The more I know, the better equipped I will be to do my job. But...” he held up a hand before Hyienna could speak. “There are a few ground rules; you never ask me how I got the information. No contracts being signed. I’ve already told you about my feelings regarding paper trials. And this is a one-and-done job. No follow-ups, no check-ups, no extensions. When I have handed over the information to you, we will never see each other again, do you understand?”
Overwhelmed by the certainty in the Stream’s voice, Hyienna nodded slowly. What else could he do?
And so Hyienna began. His words came hesitantly at first as he struggled to properly articulate them, uncertain as to how much information he should provide. But as the conversation progressed, he relaxed in the Stream’s presence and spoke at great length about all his encounters with Nathaniel, the impressions he had gotten, the blank spots that needed filling in. And though he was reluctant to do so, he also included Sarah in the equation, if only so that the Stream would be better prepared for the job he was going to do.
As Hyienna spoke, the Stream said very little. He simply nodded or grunted as an affirmation that he was taking in all the details. It wasn’t until three-quarters through the conversation that Hyienna realised the Stream had never once taken his eyes off him. He was staring directly at him. Hyienna had once heard that the eyes were the windows to the soul and he wondered if the Stream was looking into Hyienna’s soul itself, determining whether it would be worth catching.
When Hyienna had finally finished telling his tale, the Stream blinked for what seemed to be the first time in a lifetime and leaned back in his chair. “I see.”
“I need to find out where his parents came from” said Hyienna. “I need to know what kind of background he has and what kind of shit he’s gotten himself into.”
“And what about Sarah? I would ask what would happen to her. But I think a better question would be, ‘what would you like to happen to her?’ But I think we both know the answer to that, don’t we?”
Hyienna was right. He did know the answer. In his idyllic dreams, he wanted to see Sarah help him towards his second chance. But given how interlinked she was with Nathaniel; would she spend countless nights lying with Hyienna wishing that he was Nathaniel.
“This information isn’t going to be easy to come by” warned the Stream. “You realise I’m going to have to turn over every stone in Formentera, don’t you?”
“I’ve got money, I can pay you” said Hyienna, which was technically true. He did have some money saved up, but would it be enough to buy the Stream’s services.
“Don’t bother getting your wallet out” said the Stream, as if sensing Hyienna’s thoughts. “That’s not the kind of currency I trade in. Remember, I’m the Stream. I’m a natural part of life watching nature take its course.”
“So, what do you want in return?”
And then the Stream smiled and Hyienna knew that there would be no going back from this point onwards, dreading that he was locked onto a collision course to hell. “Just the guarantee that you will put the information to good use. Be here in two days.”
And with that, he downed the remainder of his drink and left the bar, leaving Hyienna to contemplate exactly what had taken place.
***
FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS, Hyienna barricaded himself in his room, not daring to emerge. He knew that when he finally did come out, the world around him would be changed forever. The people would be less trustworthy, the buildings would not promise a safe haven and the light in life would be a lot dimmer. If he was going to step out into a changed world, he wanted to be mentally prepared for it.
He took those precious hours trying to think about Sarah, envisioning a hero narrative in which Nathaniel would be revealed as a swine, a man undeserving of Sarah’s love and these revelations would cast him from her life altogether. Sarah would of course be crushed by the bitter betrayal and would look for comfort, finding it with Hyienna, helping the cousins finally mend the bond that had once been broken.
It had occurred to Hyienna that in order to reforge one bond, he had to destroy another. Life was not without its little ironies...
***
HYIENNA RETURNED TO the Catalan as scheduled, and unlike last time, the Stream was already seated waiting for him. “Whatever happened to ‘keeping the customers waiting’?”
The Stream shook his head. “Only works the first time, amic.”
Hyienna sat down at the table while the Stream stared at him blankly, apparently not considering that Hyienna was expecting him to speak. “Well?” asked Hyienna, suddenly impatient. “Did you find out what I wanted to know?”
“Oh, I most certainly did,” said the Stream. “Your friend Nathaniel has the most colourful background; I’ll give him that.”
“And? What exactly is his background?”
“Ooh” said the Stream playfully. “You’re eager to find out, aren’t you? Like the kid who can’t help wandering downstairs to peak at his Christmas presents.”
“Look, stop dicking me around” snapped Hyienna. “I asked you to do a job and-” He stopped, realising what he was saying, and perhaps even more worryingly, who he was saying it to.
The Stream never raised his voice. That was the scariest thing of all. “I think you’re probably forgetting who you are speaking to” he said in that silk-soft voice. “Just remember, that one day, you might find yourself on the receiving end of an information trail. And I could just as easily turn your life upside down if I wanted to. I am not some subordinate that you can badger with oh-so-specific instructions. You think I’m irritating now, as your eyes and ears? Imagine me as your enemy.”
Hyienna did and having been blessed – or cursed – with a vivid imagination, he did not want to think about the havoc the Stream could wreak on his life if he wanted to. “You’re right” he admitted. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“Glad to hear it” said the Stream, giving a smile that was far too wide for his face. “Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty, I have got to ask you; are you absolutely sure you want this information?”
“Why would I change your mind?”
“Because it’s always the same” said the Stream, unable to keep the self-satisfied smirk off his face. “Everybody wants to know the in’s and out’s... until they know the in’s and out’s. Even if you feel like you know what you will do with this information – good intentions and all that – but it’s like lighting a wildfire in the middle of the forest. You have no idea what it how that information will toxify everything around you. You will find it polluting your thoughts and dreams. And the bags already indicate that you’re not a heavy sleeper, so you find out this, you can easily kiss goodbye to any beauty sleep.”
As the Stream lay all this out for Hyienna, the reality was starting to dawn on him and he discovered that he had his hero narrative all wrong. There was a very good chance that Sarah would end up hurt by the revelations and she could easily blame him for bringing that hurt into their lives.
Hyienna had always believed that the more darkness one is exposed to in life, the more it shapes and redefines how we view the world. And he knew that his world was on the verge of being changed forever. He felt as though he was going to get all those exposures that adults had tried to shield him from as a child, to help him retain that innocence just a little bit longer.
Finally, he said, “Tell me everything” knowing that inside, he was hurling himself into an abyss from which there would be no escape.
The Stream spared no detail, laying out everything that he had learned, where he had learned it and the general timeline of events with Hyienna hanging on every word. He didn’t keep track of how much time had passed since the Stream had started talking. It was as though all the minutes had melded together as Hyienna’s new reality was reforming and re-establishing itself.
Finally, the Stream concluded, having said everything he needed to say and gave a deep breath, leaving to wonder how the man had been able to maintain his pace for as long as he had. It was not possible for any human to maintain that momentum...
...unless, of course, the Stream wasn’t human.
The Stream rose from his seat. “That’s all I have to say on the subject. I am sure you will come to the conclusion as to what is right. Everyone else does... eventually.” He patted Hyienna on the shoulder and Hyienna felt as though he were being stung by a scorpion. The Stream’s neutral tone made it impossible to tell whether it was said earnestly or mockingly.
“Good luck.”
***
HYIENNA HAD TOLD NATHANIEL that they had needed to speak at the farmhouse. Now. No negotiations, no rearranging.
It was a long journey down to the farmhouse, lasting a good few hours, giving Hyienna plenty of time to ruminate on how he would approach the matter. Would he try to approach the subject as one friend confiding in another? Or would he go in aggressive and vindictive? He imagined Solomon would favour the latter approach.
Hyienna looked around the farmhouse, picking up on sensations that he hadn’t noticed before. The squelching beneath his feet as he walked across the land and the stench of livestock hanging in the air like a bad omen. Why hadn’t he noticed any of this before?
He had told himself that it was because Nathaniel had worked so hard to blind him, to pull the wool over his eyes. But even that justification felt weak. He knew that based on what the Stream had told him, Nathaniel’s lies were not that well-thought out. All it took was a small tug to start the unravelling.
“What brings you out here?” There it was. That sense of comradery. The idea that they were equal men. Nathaniel walked towards him, smiling, seemingly oblivious. Hyienna wanted to punch it off his face more than anything. He couldn’t understand how this man could maintain that smile on his face on a daily basis without once betraying the darkness beneath it.
“We need to talk” said Hyienna.
“I figured as much,” said Nathaniel. “You going to tell me or are we going to have to play 20 questions?”
For a moment, neither man spoke. And it was apparent that a bomb was about to detonate. The only question was who was going to light the fuse.
In the end, it was Hyienna. “I know what you are, Nathaniel.”
Nathaniel’s smile didn’t falter. “What are you talking about?”
“I know where you come from. I know all about Kal, about your brother, about your whole life up to this point. I know that Moirae is on the island and you’re probably the one responsible for her being here.”
With each word, Nathaniel’s smile faded. By the time Hyienna had finished speaking, he looked as though he had aged a decade. “How long have you known?”
“I only just found out.”
Fearing the worst, Nathaniel asked, “Did Sarah tell you?”
Hyienna’s eyes widened. “You mean, Sarah knows?”
“Yes, I told her.” Said Nathaniel, disheartened by her seeming betrayal. Though he silently thought to himself that he hadn’t told her the whole truth. He wondered if she would have been so willing to embrace him if she knew all the facts. Taking in Hyienna’s confusion, Nathaniel realized that Sarah wasn’t Hyienna’s new source of information. Not that that reassured him. “Only a few souls know the whole story so how did you get hold of it?”
“I have my own resources” replied Hyienna, not feeling comfortable with dragging the Stream into the mix. He was already unnerved at the supernatural prowess with which he had acquired the necessary information.
“Are you even going to deny it?” asked Hyienna. “Talk me out of it. Tell me none of it is true.”
Nathaniel stumbled where he stood and for a moment, Hyienna thought he was going to faint.
“I can’t. You know, for the longest time, I hated knowing all those facts about myself. I thought that by not mentioning any of it, I could put some separation between the boy I was and the man I am now.”
Before he had time to consider what he was saying, Hyienna instinctively offered, “I can relate to that.” He found himself thinking about the babysitter he had loved and the child that had gone missing under her watch, wishing that any kind of denial would separate him from that tragedy. But he knew it would always be set in stone no matter what he did.
“In some ways...” said Nathaniel, walking forward until he finally came to an old milking stool and sat himself down on it, no longer having the energy to stand. “...in some ways, it feels good to get it all out in the open. It takes so much to lie to people, to convince people that your life is perfect and that you have it all together, only when inside, you’re coming apart at the seams. You have no idea how much it relieved me to be able to tell Sarah.”
“What?” Hyienna’s jaw could have hit the floor.
“We talked a while back. She wanted to know things about me. And you know your cousin. She has a way of wearing you down eventually.”
“Yeah, don’t I know” said Hyienna, bitter that he had spent the last two days musing on the morality of bringing Sarah up to speed regarding Nathaniel’s past, the potential cost to himself and their relationship... only to find out that she already knew.
As these thoughts occurred to him, it became increasingly apparent that this wasn’t a criminal mastermind sitting before him determined to ruin lives; this was a broken man trying to pick up the pieces of his fragmented self. Hyienna felt a stab of shame for allowing himself to be so caught up in the pursuit that he had shed so many of his key values like a snake sheds its skin. He was glad that there were no mirrors lying about because he didn’t think he would recognise himself.
Hyienna pulled up an old box made of rotting wood and sat next to Nathaniel. “How did it happen, Nathaniel?” he asked softly, trying to take a sympathetic approach.
“The orphanage at St. Gemma’s... I used to hate that place, always looked back on it with hardened eyes. But with the benefit of hindsight... I would have gladly taken that place over the horrors that followed later in my life. There are times when I sometimes forget the details and I know that is just me wanting to forget. Sometimes, the only way for wounds to heal is if you just pretend, they’re not there. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.”
“Only too well” said Hyienna grimly.
“You know, we all lose our innocence over time” mused Nathaniel. “As we get older and the shelter of adults falls away, we start to see the world as it truly is and we feel the need to either adjust to it, or let it kill us. I knew that I’d have to lose my innocence to survive one day. But I never thought it would be snatched away from me at such a young age.”
“By Kal?” asked Hyienna, double-checking. Nathaniel nodded slightly. “You know, I’m normally on the fence about the existence of God and religion. But I think you can make a very good case for that man being the devil.”
“That’s exactly what I think,” said Nathaniel. “He didn’t seem like it at first, always giving us sweets, telling us how special we were. But then I realised, that that’s the devil’s signature trick, he lures you in, appeals to you before reminding you what you’ve let yourself in for.
“Now, Ben...” Nathaniel smiled at the memory of his brother. “Now, Ben obeyed the rules, but there were times when he could be outright defiant. For example, stealing food supplies and then sharing it with the kids. He always knew that he was in for the belt, but he had also proved himself useful to the traders. Boys like Ben didn’t come every so often. He was physically capable, and he had a great mind about him, even for a kid. You know, he was younger than me, but it often felt like he was wiser than me at least. I learned a lot from him.
“You see, experience does an odd thing to the view of your world. We were sold as babies, never knew a proper life, and never knew what it was like to have a home, loving parents, or a family. So, we didn’t really know what we were missing out on. In some ways, I guess that made it easier for us to cope with our own circumstances. We figured that this was as good as it got. But as we got older, we dared to dream. But unfortunately, dreams can’t be monetised, and the school wasn’t shy about reminding us.”
Hyienna dreaded to hear where this conversation was going. “Did they... beat you?”
Nathaniel shook his head vehemently. “No, nothing like that. We were basically like prized racehorses.”
Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Hyienna raised an eyebrow. “I was under the impression a racehorse needed to be broken before it could reach its potential.”
“Ha, bloody, ha” said Nathaniel, appreciating the moment of levity before he was flung back into the past.
“I still think back to the day when we escaped. To be honest, I had given up on the idea of getting out of there a long time ago. You only know how shitty life is when you’ve only got your own death to look forward to. But Ben was adamant that that wasn’t going to happen to him. You see, he would always keep this scrapbook, he’d take pictures and newspaper articles and stick them in. They’d always be about places around the world and he would mark them and talk with me after lights out about how one day he would go and visit them all. Of course, me being the pessimist I am, I couldn’t see any way out of it. But I indulged him, because when it’s little kids, you need to have something to look forward to.
“In fact...” Nathaniel’s eyes welled up as the memory of that fateful day stirred in his mind. “...it was Ben who persuaded me to do a runner, ushering me out in the middle of the night. I’m still amazed that we managed to get as far as we did without anyone spotting us. We were almost clear when we heard someone... Ben suggested we split up, saying that if one of got caught, then at least the other one would be free. I managed to find somewhere to hide behind a barrel. And then the lights went up all around the area. And I could hear the captain speaking. He couldn’t see where I was, but he was banking on the idea that I could hear him. And I did. I heard my brother being beaten within an inch of his life. And you could tell it was bad” said Nathaniel, shuddering. “Whenever Ben was being punished before, he would always keep a very tight-lip. He would never let the captains have the satisfaction of seeing him in pain. But he was screaming that night and it was like nothing you’ve ever heard. It haunts me still. To this day, I have no idea what they were using on him to cause him such pain. I couldn’t bring myself to turn around and look at him. The captain got out a gun and told me to come out on the count of five or he would put a bullet through Ben’s eye. I swear, those five seconds feel like an eternity was passing. And I was about to come out when I heard Ben shouting to me, ‘Run’.
Nathaniel’s eyes welled up as he relived the moment that would change his life forever. “So, I ran. I only got to about five steps before I heard the gunshot. I didn’t need to turn around to see what had happened.”
Hyienna looked on, horrified by the story and feeling nothing but sympathy for Nathaniel. In hindsight, his attitude was a miracle in itself, that he lived through such darkness and yet still fight like hell to avoid that dark path.
“And I’ve been running ever since. I’ve tried to make a new life for myself ever since. I thought that if I could put as much distance between me and the past, I could make it work. But at the end of the day... I left my brother to die. No matter how I try to dress it up.”
Hyienna felt an urge to comfort Nathaniel. “You were just a boy. If you had gone back to them, you might not have ever gotten another chance to escape.”
“Maybe not” said Nathaniel, drying his eyes. “But there are times when I can’t help thinking of what life would have been like if Ben had lived, if I had actually gone back. I know I’ve made a big deal of showing off to Sarah, coming across as the big man on the island. But really, all of this is for Ben. I still have his scrapbook with me, and I’m working my way through it, trying to do all the things in my life that he would have done had he lived. That’s the deal I make with him every day.
“Sometimes, I like to daydream about how things should have gone. If Ben had lived, grown up to be a man, gotten a chance to sample the good things life has to offer.” Nathaniel looked proudly at Hyienna. “I like to think Ben would have been a lot like you as an adult.”
Hyienna could tell that the comment was coming from a very personal place, but he knew it was meant as a compliment; perhaps the highest compliment he had ever been paid. “You’re setting the bar kinda low there” he said graciously. “But I appreciate it all the same.”
Neither man spoke for a moment, Nathaniel far too drained from reliving his trauma and Hyienna was trying to make sense of the story. Even though he had heard it all from the Stream, hearing the facts details with such an emotional charge by Hyienna brought a whole new light to the proceedings. He could see that Nathaniel was not his enemy, not some schemer, simply a man trying to move forward from his mistakes, only for the past to constantly drag him back.
This prompted Hyienna to move forward onto a difficult subject, one that he did not relish, but nonetheless felt needed highlighting. “There’s the subject of Kal. What are we going to do about him?”
Nathaniel put his head in his hands. “Honestly, I don’t know. That man has laser vision. Once he gets something set in his sights, he will not stop until he gets it. You could put a mountain worth of concrete between Kal, and his prey and he would still find his way to his prey.”
“I don’t know” said Hyienna, thinking back on the information provided by the Stream. “I think he’s already got his hands full with the Moirae”
“Shit” said Nathaniel grimly. “The vindictive triage of bitches responsible for selling children into slavery and the ones that put me and Ben into Kal’s crosshairs. Kal would have really pissed them off. They will stop at nothing to get what they want.”
“So how do we stop them?” asked Hyienna. When Nathaniel wasn’t quick to respond, Hyienna said, “Don’t go holding out on me, man. If these people really are the devils in human form, you make them out to be, then we’re all in the same shitty, sinking boat. And I’m pretty sure they will kill anyone who tries to get in their way.”
“Hence why I’m not telling you,” insisted Nathaniel. “The last thing I want is to see other people getting punished for my mistakes. I’ve already done that once with Ben. I can’t afford to go down that route again.”
Hyienna scoffed. “Sorry to burst your martyr bubble, Nathaniel, but I’m already guilty by association. As is Sarah and-”
“There is no way to stop them” said Nathaniel bluntly.
“What?”
“If there was a way of stopping them, do you think I would have spent all of my adulthood and most of my childhood putting as much distance between me and them as possible? They won’t be stopped. They can’t. Not until they have what they want. The best thing you can do is hand it over to them and pray that you don’t incur any collateral damage.”
Hyienna thought over the words provided by the Stream, trying to find a solution among the cluster of facts only recently thrown in his direction. “Well,” he said with shaky confidence. “We’re just going to have to face her together. We need to look out for each other, Nathaniel, now more than ever. For all our sakes. If the Moirae approaches either of us, the other needs to be alerted. I know you seen them as invincible witches, but they can still be taken out. They need to be. That’s the only way you’ll ever be free of the past.”
“You seem very confident for a guy whose never even met them” observed Nathaniel.
“Maybe, but it helps that I know what they are after; your child.”
Now it was Nathaniel’s turn to be confused.
“But... that’s not possible” he stammered. “I haven’t got one.”