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There was a faint wind in the air, whipping at Sarah’s exposed skin. It was rare to get a wind in Barcelona, especially around the summer. She was used to feeling the light touch of the sun radiating from her. She wasn’t dressed for this weather. And considering she had been about to use Solomon’s credit card to buy a few sundresses, she may have to rethink what she was doing.
Kate, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered by the chill. If anything, she seemed to welcome it. She gripped the rails and that was when Sarah saw for the first time what must have always been there. Hunger. Her expression was a lustful one, as though what was in her heart’s desire was almost upon her.
Sarah didn’t have time to ask her before they were about to dock at Barcelona.
When they had set off on the trip, Sarah had been planning to all, but max out on Solomon’s credit card for clothes and beauty treatments until she came back looking like royalty.
But over the course of the journey, Hyienna’s words had worn her down. The urgency in his voice had unsettled her.
She figured it was to do with Nathaniel, who she instantly knew would object to him looking through anything to do with his past life. She remembered the confession he had given her about his past. She could see that it had taken a lot out of him, that he had scraped the bottom of his soul to recall that part of his life.
But as she looked back on the memory of Nathaniel’s confession, new details appeared in her mind. The more she thought about it, the more she felt as though Nathaniel was holding out on her. As though there was a depth to his words that he was trying quite hard to avoid reaching.
Apart of her wanted to leave well enough alone. Sarah knew that Nathaniel probably wouldn’t take kindly to her poking around.
She could just go on meeting Nathaniel, gaining security financially from being with him. But could she really risk it all? Throw away everything that Solomon was providing her all for the sake of a man who could just as well be her undoing?
No. She needed to be sure.
“So, where are we hitting first?” asked Kate. “I’ve been told on many occasions I have a sparkling personality and I could do with the jewellery to match.”
“Actually, Kate...” asked Sarah, suddenly realizing how dependent she was on the woman for her mission. Kate had shown all the signs of a trustworthy companion, a shoulder to cry on when needed, someone who offered sage-like advice when prompted... but there was always the possibility that Kate might weaponize her mission against her, report it back to Solomon. When he heard what she had been planning... well, Sarah didn’t want to try too hard to picture his reaction.
Should she try and abandon Kate to set off on her own? Or should she trust Kate with this dangerous knowledge and risk it all?
Finally, she decided.
“I think we’re going to need to take a little detour, Kate.”
If Kate was puzzled by the sudden change in plan, she did not show it. “What kind of detour?”
She went through the multiple options in her head, trying to think of the one that sounded least far-fetched. But none emerged. “The library” she managed.
“The library?” repeated Kate. “I never had you pegged as a bookworm.”
“There are some things I need to look at. And... I’d prefer it if Solomon didn’t find out. From anyone.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Kate in a playful manner, but with just enough edge for Sarah to take her seriously.
“I mean, I would really appreciate it if our little detour wasn’t the talk of the town.”
“Sarah, you make me sound like some kind of gossipy hen. Your secret is safe with me” said Kate reassuringly. “So, do you want to tell me what it is we’re looking for?”
“I can’t.” But before Kate could protest, Sarah added quickly, “I can’t because I’m not even sure what we’re supposed to be looking for. So, I think we need to take it, one step at a time.”
“Fair enough. So, what’s the next step?”
“We’re going to need a car,” said Sarah. “I really don’t fancy walking down to the library, especially not in these shoes.”
“Well, if my memory serves, there should be a rental about twenty minutes away from here” suggested Kate.
Now Sarah was visibly wincing, as though it pained her to say the next few words. “There’s just one thing, though. I may need your help with the cash.”
Kate raised an eyebrow. “Girl, you’ve got Solomon’s credit card on you. You’re practically Miss Moneybags.”
“I know, but the stuff I need to do, I’d rather Solomon didn’t find out. He’d go apeshit.”
“I’m starting to feel like you’re asking a lot, Sarah,” said Kate. “I mean, I love you like a sister and all, but I’d rather not go up against Solomon.”
“He doesn’t need to know, I promise. The less he knows the better.”
“OK” said Kate simply and Sarah couldn’t help but wonder if Kate had always intended to help her and had just decided to drag the dilemma out for the sake of it.
The two made their way to the dealership where Kate paid in cash for a rental. It wasn’t much to boast of the car was well used, the leather seats that had once glistened in the sunlight were now faded and torn in some places. And it looked as though it had been years since the car had had a decent paint job. For Sarah, who had been used to getting the best of everything in life, it was quite a downgrade. But it was the best that they could afford with Kate’s money, and it wasn’t like they wanted to be noticed on this little endeavour.
Sarah drove the car towards the library, the two sitting in silence all throughout the journey. In truth, Sarah was surprised by how easily Kate had been persuaded to take part, she thought she’d have to do everything short of threatening her to get her compliance. In fact, Kate had seemed quite eager to part with her money and accompany Sarah on this journey.
It was almost as if she had a personal stake in this mission.
They finally arrived at the public library, pulling up a few blocks away.
Sarah had never been to this part of Barca before. She thought back to all the time she had spent in Formentera. An island that felt as though it got the best of everything in life, the slice of life that everyone wanted to remember.
But this part of the island, with its ancient, crumbling buildings felt like a relic people wouldn’t mind forgetting.
They both walked into the building, with Sarah visibly taken aback by the lack of hustle and bustle.
The library was great and vast, with rows upon rows upon rows of books. Sarah almost wondered how such an old building had been able to contain such a vast source of knowledge. Looking around, Sarah eyed no more than eleven people sat in various places, their noses in their own books, looking for their own source of enlightenment.
Sarah felt a wave of heat in the room, causing her to sweat mildly. “Didn’t think it’d be so hot in here” she remarked, trying not to let the discomfort ruin her complexion. “Don’t they know how to open windows around here?”
“Would you like me to ask around for an axe?” asked Kate, one eyebrow raised.
“Can I help you?” came a voice alarmingly close to Sarah, causing her to jump out of her skin. The woman was young, in her early twenties at a guess, dressed in a black shirt with a cardigan, the seemingly dated sense of fashion betraying her youthful features.
“Yes, you can” said Kate, taking charge. “We’re looking for birth records, going back at least two decades. You think you might be able to help us with that?”
“Of course, I can,” said the librarian. “This way, please.”
She took them through a doorway, down a circular staircase, where Sarah shivered at the evident chill. “Apologies for the temperature” said the librarian without turning around. “We don’t usually get visitors down here.”
“It shows” muttered Sarah under her breath as the walls around her became increasingly stonelike, reminding her that they were moving further and further away from civilization.
“Do you mind my asking what it is you’re looking for?” asked the librarian. Noticing Sarah’s immediate apprehension, she quickly added, “It will help to improve the service I provide to customers.”
“We’re trying to track down an old family friend,” said Kate.
“So, this must feel like coming home to you,” said the librarian.
“Yes” said Kate. “You could say that.”
At the bottom of the stairs, the librarian gestured to a stack of shelves, which contained moth-eaten cardboard boxes. “Like I said” said the librarian, a little embarrassed. “Nobody’s come down here in a while.”
“No shit,” said Kate.
“Right” said the librarian. “That’s me. If you need anything, just come up and get me. I hope you guys find what you’re looking for.” And with that, she left them to their search.
The two women browsed through the boxes listed in alphabetical order. To say that there was no order to the records would be an understatement. It looked as though papers had been shoved haphazardly into a folder before being thrown into the box. On several occasions when Sarah and Kate were taking out folders, they had to take care to prevent any papers from spilling out onto the stone-cold floor.
“You know” said Kate, not taking their eyes off the papers. “There’s always the possibility that we won’t find anything.”
“How do you mean?” asked Sarah, running her finger over the papers trying to find anything that would stick out.
“Well, assuming that Nathaniel’s adoption was... off the books, so to speak, it’s not likely to turn up here of all places.”
“How would you know?” asked Sarah, turning to Kate. “You an expert in back-alley adoption?”
“It’s what anyone would do” said Kate defensively.
Sarah was about to probe the subject even further when, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed something on one of the folders. Nathaniel’s name printed out in capital letters.
“This should be it” said Sarah, feeling triumphant.
But when she opened the pages, something alarmed her.
“What is it?” asked Kate, trying to get a better look.
Sarah showed her the file.
On practically every page, black bars blocked out words, phrases, sometimes even entire paragraphs. Where it not for the picture on the front of a young Nathaniel and the accompanying name, there would be nothing to suggest that this was Nathaniel’s file.
“What the hell?” muttered Kate, taking the file from Sarah and looking over it. “Looks like your man has his fair share of skeletons in his closet.”
“There’s got to be an explanation for this,” said Sarah. She thought that Nathaniel had told her the entire truth when they had shared that car ride, that he had borne his soul.
As if reading Sarah’s mind, Kate said, “You know, I’d ask him to explain this away, but somehow, I get the impression he would button up.”
“These are adoption papers,” said Sarah. “Whatever Nathaniel was involved in, surely he can’t have done it himself. He would have only been a kid.”
“And he couldn’t tell you the whole truth?” asked Kate. “When men like that promise a confession and only tell you the half-truth, that means the whole truth will consist of some pretty shady shit.”
“Excuse me?”
Both Sarah and Kate whipped around, feeling a desire to keep their secret hidden. The librarian was stood at the bottom of the stairs. Even though she maintained a polite posture, at a careful glance, Sarah could tell that the woman was shaking slightly.
“I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation” began the woman.
“And here I was thinking we were surrounded by thick walls,” said Kate.
“The adoption records...” And now the librarian was struggling to keep the shakes out of her voice. “...they were taken from here about a week ago.”
“Taken?” asked Sarah. “What do you mean, ‘taken?’”
“Someone wanted to know where they were, told me that it was a matter of life or death.”
“And you just gave them to him?” asked Sarah disbelievingly.
The librarian looked down at her shoes, being unable to face not just the two women, but the lapse in her judgment. “He didn’t seem like the kind of man one says ‘no’ to.”
“Do you have any idea where we might be able to find this man?” asked Sarah.
“I couldn’t say” stammered the librarian.
“Look” said Kate. “Why don’t you and I have a little girl-talk in private? See if we can get to the bottom of this?”
She wrapped her arm around the librarian and led her away. Sarah began to follow. “Shouldn’t I be listening in to this?”
“Yes, we could really do with you coming down on the poor girl like a ton of bricks.” Softening, Kate said, “Trust me, Sarah, I have a way with people.”
And Sarah was left to ponder what that way might look like as Kate and the librarian ascended the stairway.
She returned to the pile of papers on the desk, trying to restore order as best as she could.
As Sarah sat down, she felt a jolt in her stomach and her hand instantly went to her belly.
She wondered if this was where it started. She had heard that the pains always start off quite minimal before they progress with each month of pregnancy. She did not feel particularly enamoured at the idea of having this thing inside her eating away at her physically, taking away all of her strength and wreaking havoc on her body. She remembered as a child glimpsing the stretch marks on her mother who had apparently been quite the beauty before childbirth had taken its toll on her.
She knew that it was unfair, and it was not the fault of the child. It was not right that a child should be held accountable for the mistakes its parents made.
But Sarah wasn’t even sure of the child’s parents.
One reason she had been torn between the worlds of Solomon and Nathaniel would be because she had no idea who would be the father of her child. Solomon had already made his decision on the matter quite clear, and she imagined he would have a tough time changing his mind.
With Nathaniel, she had seen the way he had looked at her, a love that was unconditional, unbreakable, there was nothing superficial. Sarah didn’t doubt that he would care for their child no matter the circumstances. But what kind of life would their child have? To have the child would mean coming clean with Solomon. And she knew that he was not a man to be wronged. His word carried a lot of sway with Formentera, and he could easily paint her as a ruined woman.
When she felt for her stomach, she didn’t just feel a little life growing beneath her skin, she felt a ticking clock. If she planned to carry this pregnancy to term, it would only be so long before her belly started swelling and termination would not be an option.
She tried for what felt like the hundredth time to resolve the issue of the child’s paternity. She remembered making love to Nathaniel shortly after their eventful car journey. She should have used protection, but she was swept away in the emotion brought on by Nathaniel’s confession...
...and shortly before that, Solomon had come to her that one night, begging for companionship, but silently holding out for more, the way men do when they feel entitled to something and don’t want to have to ask. Sarah herself had had quite a lot to drink that night. They had melted away into each other’s arms.
There was a four-day difference, making it nigh-impossible for anyone short of a witch doctor being able to tell the difference. She had heard that there were tests that could be done to determine the baby’s paternity, but from what she had heard, they were quite intrusive procedures, and there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t damage the baby’s health.
Even discounting the medical risk, she would not be able to have that kind of check-up without alerting any of the locals. Chances are, someone down there would pass her details back to Solomon.
Like every other tragedy in Sarah’s life, she tried to tackle it with the same mindset; consider it a problem for another day.
She was snapped out of her dilemma by the sound of approaching footsteps as Kate and the librarian both descended the stairs together, Kate holding the librarian by the arm as though supporting her. The librarian looked as though she had gone a different shade of white.
“What did you do to her?” asked Sarah, half-joking.
“I told you,” said Kate simply. “I have a way with people. And now, we have a new destination, thanks to this lovely creature here.” She pressed her hand into the librarian’s shoulder, who visibly recoiled from the touch, but tried to keep the discomfort off her face with questionable success.
***
THEY CLEARED OUT OF the library quite quickly. Neither of them had bothered to take any of the doctored adoption papers, Kate having reasoned that there would be no use for any of them.
They piled back into the rented car and continued driving to their destination.
“She gave me an address for the person who likely has information on these adoption papers. With any luck, he should still be in the area and should be able to provide us with some answers.”
Sarah looked at Kate, who was driving the car with a steely command. “You seem very sure of yourself, you know that?”
“Well, we need that kind of certainty if we’re going to get anywhere.”
“Remind me again why we couldn’t just bribe that librarian?” asked Sarah.
“Thought you were trying to avoid leaving a paper trail,” said Kate. “Besides, judging by the look of her, I doubt she’d even know what a credit card looks like. The poor thing might as well have lived her life trapped in that attic. It was a calculated risk getting her to talk and point us in the right direction.”
“And what do we do if the source isn’t where she says he is?” asked Sarah, certain that there was a flaw in the plan she wasn’t seeing.
“I’ve thought about that” said Kate briskly.
“And?”
“And we’ll be back at square one. You, see? I’ve thought about it?” Kate took her eyes off the road just briefly to take in Sarah’s perplexed face. “You worry too much, Sarah. You always act as though your life is one disaster away from imploding. You need to take things as they come, let them wash over you.”
“When I’m in the mindset for poetry, I’ll pencil it in” quipped Sarah.
***
WHEN THEY ARRIVED AT the location, Sarah almost understood why the librarian had been reluctant to open up.
The buildings were in varying stages of decay, deplorables coming in and out. Sarah could see a group of people stood close together watching them. To them, the car must be some kind of rare jewel, thought Sarah. She tried to imagine that at night, the streets came alive with a vibrant carnage, people dancing in the moonlight basking in euphoria under cover of darkness. But in the daylight, that effect hadn’t carried over, the buildings on either side of the road looking like oversized slabs as the car drove past, as though they were entering a gargantuan graveyard. Sarah would never be caught dead in a place like this.
The car pulled up outside what looked like a tavern, given the similar features of all the buildings, it was hard to tell. “You sure we shouldn’t hide the car” asked Sarah, looking around at the people in the street who were eyeballing her. “I have a feeling that it won’t be here when we come back.”
“Why?” asked Kate. “You got any bushes for me to hide it behind?”
Kate watched a group of small children at least ten years old playing in the streets with a football. One of the boys kicked the boy, narrowly missing the car. “Sorry” he called out, expecting a reprieve.
But instead, Kate smiled. “Tell you what; how would you kids like to make a little extra pocket money?”
“What do you need?” asked the boy.
Kate pulled out a wad of notes, which prompted the attention of the other children to come running over. Neither of them had ever seen so much money in their life.
Kate took a note and passed one around to each of the children. “You can keep an eye on this car for at least an hour, there’ll be another helping at the end of it, you got it?”
The boys all nodded, eagerly accepting the money.
“Really, Kate?” asked Sarah. “Anyone would have thought you were a charity.”
“You were the one who was worked up about the car. Either we cough up a bit of dough to keep it safe, or we make it around Barcelona on foot. I’m guessing you have a preference?”
They walked into the tavern, looking around at the people inside. Sarah tried to keep her jewellery hidden in the event anyone tried to pounce on her. Kate rolled her eyes at the materialistic display. “For God’s sake, woman, don’t get so worked up over your jewellery.”
“Easy for you to say” retorted Sarah. “Last time I checked; you weren’t one lugging anything fashionable on your fingers.” She surveyed the crowd once again, who seemed to be keeping to themselves, not that this did much to alleviate Sarah’s anxiety. “I swear to you, one of these freaks is going to take my jewellery and then straight up kill me.”
“That’s impossible,” said Kate. “Very unlikely to happen.”
“Why?”
“Because this lot won’t waste any time struggling with you; they’ll just kill you, then take the jewellery.”
Sarah looked pointedly at Kate. “Tell me, Kate, at any point in your past life were you a motivational speaker?”
“I had my moments” admitted Kate.
“I take it you lovely ladies are waiting for me?”
The voice came in between them, and Sarah almost jumped out of her skin. Kate seemed non-plussed, taking in the figure who was standing before then in the doorway. There was nothing to indicate he had walked in through the doorway, or that he had gotten up and walked towards them through the crowd.
It was as if he had just materialised behind them.
“You know how to make an entrance” said Kate, who seemed completely unsurprised by the intrusion.
“It helps for a man to be able to slip in and out of the world whenever he feels like it” said the man, stepping back. Now Sarah could see he was wearing a long black trench coat. “I am the Stream.”
“Is that what your friends call you?” asked Sarah, unimpressed by the grandeur.
“Indeed, petit ocell,” said the Stream. “You might even get to call me that if you live long enough.” He turned to Kate and made a slight bow. “My apologies for the goose chase, bruixa. Wouldn’t have been my first choice, but when it comes to valuable information, there is very little stopping it from falling into the wrong hands.”
“Well, thank God you’re here to intervene,” said Sarah.
The Stream was now studying Sarah, as though only just seeing her for the first time. “You know... I find myself struggling to comprehend what he sees in you. It’s certainly not your intellectual prowess.”
“Who?” asked Sarah, agitate.
“All right, cut it out, riddle-man” snapped Kate, impatiently. “Save that cryptic bullshit for the tourists.”
The Stream looked at Kate, as though seeing her for the first time. “Very well” he said, speaking in a tone that was supposed to be natural, but instead came out stilted and he was clearly trying to contain himself.
“Why don’t we take a seat?” suggested Kate, trying to prevent an altercation from breaking out.
The Stream led them over to a deserted table and ordered a drink. “Why do we have to meet here?” asked Sarah, glimpsing around at the patrons. “Among these... people?”
The Stream frowned. “These ‘people’ are lost souls. Whatever life they had beforehand has crumbled around them. What they have around here, it’s not much, admittedly, but it’s home. I apologize for failing to live up to your standards, petit ocell, but you see, not everyone has a castle to retreat to like you.” He turned to Kate. “So” he said briskly, clearly wanting to hurry things along. “What has put you in my direction?” He downed his drink at that point.
“We’re looking for information on an adoption.”
The Stream smiled again, but this time, it didn’t seem like a smile, more like a grimace. “I’d think long and hard before you go looking under that rock.”
“It’s important that we find this information as soon as possible” instructed Kate.
The Stream leaned into Kate and Sarah could see he was inhaling deeply. “You are not one to be trifled with” he said plainly. He leaned back, impressed and to Sarah’s surprise, a little subdued. For a few minutes, they sat in silence, until the Stream finally said, “In Zaragoza, there is a nun. I believe she goes by the name Sister Veronica. To the best of my knowledge, she should still be alive. I suggest you pay her a visit. She will tell you all you need to know.”
“Is she going to tell us about Nathaniel?” asked Sarah impatiently.
The Stream looked at Sarah with interest. “Ah, I’m guessing he’s not been entirely honest with you.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Sarah, trying not to freak out.
“He was worried that you’d run a mile if he told you the truth. Not that I blame him, I imagine that if I had that kind of background, I’d be keeping a tight lip.” He then added in a sotto voice; “And that’s not actually too far off from the truth.
“But I must insist, petit ocell, for your own sake, go home, forget about what you are looking for.”
“What?” exclaimed both Sarah and Kate, Kate in particular looking at the Stream with fiery eyes.
“I don’t think you fully comprehend what you are looking for” said the Stream, taking on a more serious expression and trying to visibly ward off Kate’s angry gaze. “You must know that no good can come from any of this, don’t you? It will wreck a lot of lives; probably Nathaniel’s, certainly yours. It’s not the kind of damage you can contain.
“Now, this man clearly loves you, loves you enough to try and keep you out of Hell, even if it means condemning himself in the process. That kind of love is incredibly hard to come by and in my experience, it always comes with many catches. Go back to your old life. This isn’t your life; it isn’t even your world. You should forget about all of this. Even now, it’s not too late to turn back.”
“I can’t” said Sarah numbly. The words that came tumbling out, they hadn’t been there a moment ago. But the feelings, the feelings had been there for a long time, and it was only now that she was able to put words to them. “I love Nathaniel, I’ve spent a good portion of my life pining after him. If there are going to be any challenges, I want to be able to face them with him. And...” She looked down at her belly. “...I think we’re having a baby. Whatever happens to this child, I don’t want it to go through the same hardships as its father.”
The Stream appeared sincerely moved by this and for a moment, seemed lost for words.
“Well, I must say, I admire your commitment. If you’re absolutely sure, then I will give you what you need, and I will be on my way.”
“I’m sure” said Sarah, like a gambler who was placing a bet she was certain would pay off.
But Sarah would not have been quite so confident if she had known what she was gambling.
After the Stream had conveyed the information, Sarah got up and made her way to the entrance, determined to find this nun. But Kate hung back briefly to glare at the Stream. “What do you think you are playing at?”
“I had to give her the choice,” said the Stream. “Now it’s out of my hands and in yours. So do with it what you will.”
***
THE DRIVE TO ZARAGOZA was a difficult one for Sarah. Everything that she thought she had known about Nathaniel was now being called into question. At first, she had been angry that that heartfelt confession had been partially engineered. But when she thought about all that she had learned about his brother, the life that he had led – the life that he had been forced to lead – she felt a pang of sympathy. It would take a lot for a man living in darkness to force himself into the light with the constant risk of it weighing him down.
As they drove, Sarah looked over to Kate, who didn’t seem fazed by anything she had learned that day. In some ways, Sarah admired that unbreakable demeanour. It was like looking at a woman who would willing swim with the sharks without fear or trepidation.
As they drove, Sarah noticed a road sign pointing them in the direction of the small town of Burjaraloz. As she glanced at the sign, something shifted in the back of Sarah’s head, an idea that had been planted there by the Stream.
“Let’s go down that route” said Sarah to Kate, who was sat behind the steering wheel as though petrified.
“You sure?” asked Kate.
“Trust me, this is the road we need to take” said Sarah, unable to explain the hunch she had. Then again, today was a day where explanations could not be attached to current events.
“As you wish” said Kate, and she turned off the road and turned into Burjaraloz.
By the time they had arrived in the village, the sun had begun to set, and a cool evening air began to seep into the atmosphere through the humidity. Sarah hadn’t realized how much time had gone by. She hadn’t expected her search to take her this long, and she knew that Solomon would likely to be asking after her for her whereabouts. Sarah knew that if Solomon didn’t know her comings-and-goings right down to the minute, he would assume the worst. Although knowing Solomon as she did, Sarah knew that he would likely find something – or someone – to help him past the time. Sarah couldn’t afford to think of Solomon right now. She had come too far to let doubt drag her back into his arms.
If the village had once been touched by countryside, then there was no sign of it, the plant life far and in between, the buildings standing tall like temples of worship. Everything in the area was aged. It felt to Sarah as though nothing new could grow here. If anything, this felt like a place where things go to die.
And yet, there was a silent beauty to the village as the evening sun shone over it, casting it in an illuminating light.
“I think that’s our pitstop” said Kate, pointing a gated building which wouldn’t have looked out of place in a gothic novel. Kate stopped the car and the two women got out.
The gates were not locked, and it took a mild shove from Kate to pry them open.
“So, where do we go from here?” asked Sarah.
“I don’t know” said Kate sarcastically. “I didn’t see the directory for back-alley adoptions.”
They tried to look around the place for anything that might seem out of place.
Their answer came in the form of a faint cloud of cigarette smoke.
“Interesting” said Kate, deciding to follow the trail.
They followed it and came into a vineyard, rife with ripe fruit and indeed, the only part of the entire village that didn’t look like it had been abandoned and left to die.
They followed the trail to its original owner, witnessing a sight that felt so paradoxical in nature, Sarah had to blink to make sure her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her.
It was a black nun taking long thick drags on the cigarette, twirling it between her fingers with the grace of a sculptor managing their tools, inhaling the thick, black fog into her lungs before blowing out again, letting loose an air of catharsis every time. In between drags, she was taking large, healthy swigs from a glass of red wine... although in this case, it was less of a glass and more of a goblet which had been filled to the brim. She set the glass down next to her on the bench, which contained at least two bottles, one of which had already finished and a fresh bottle about to be opened.
Kate coughed, half to get her attention, and half to clear her airways from the cloud of smoke. The nun turned to her with a bored look on her face. As she turned, Sarah almost gasped at the sight of three tribal scars on each of her cheeks. “Don’t pity them” said the nun in a thick African accent. “They’re a rite of passage, a mark of where I come from.”
“I thought nuns were supposed to be all about abstinence” remarked Kate.
The nun smiled, an old smile that had once been used to charm many people that had come her way, but now contained a faded energy. “My child, when you get to my age, when you have found yourself exposed to many ungodly things in the world, the most natural reaction is to distract yourself. After all, they say that alcohol is the world’s great numbing instrument. I took my vows expecting to lead a life of piety... but then decided that I preferred a life of pleasure.” She held up an unopened bottle of wine. “Would you like to join me for a glass or two? Perhaps even a bottle. I can assure you that this is nothing like the cheap cat piss you get in restaurants. This selection comes from a lovely little winery called Solar De Urbezo, located in Carinena. I believed that the winery was named after a famous painter, under the pretence that wine-making was like all art, painting a transcending picture that touches its drinkers in varying ways.”
“And you drink for the artistry?” asked Kate sardonically.
“Oh, no, I drink purely for the pleasure. Any higher meaning continues to elude me. Normally, they would charge a fortune for even one bottle, but then again...” she smiled a lopsided smile. “...that’s the beauty of letting God into your heart and home. You’ll always find someone willing to provide an offering.” The eloquence of her speech was ruined by a slight hiccup. “How rude of me, I haven’t offered introductions; my name is Sister Veronica. Who are you charming creatures and what turn of events has placed you in my path?”
As she spoke, Sarah noticed something that was hanging around her neck. A chain of some kind. Upon closer inspection, Sarah could see that it was a pendant.
But it was like no pendant that Sarah had ever seen. It looked like a mandala sun, and inside it, there appeared to be crescent of some kind. There was a stab of recognition in the back of Sarah’s mind. But she couldn’t place it just yet. But she already knew the dread that such a symbol would likely bring.
Taking charge of the situation, Sarah reached into her bag and took out a recently taken photograph of Nathaniel. “We’re looking for information on this man, more specifically the circumstances surrounding his adoption.”
Sister Veronica took the photo in her hands and ran her finger over it, giving nothing away. “Where did you get this photo?”
Before she could decide the practicality of the question, Sarah blurted out, “He is my boyfriend.”
Sister Veronica looked down at the photo and ran her finger over it once again, but after a few moments, a single tear fell onto the photo. “Astounding” she whispered. “So many of them come to us, full of promise, full of potential. But as is the way with our world, we seldom get to see that potential fully realized. He seems to have grown into a magnificent specimen.”
“’Specimen’?” repeated Sarah incredulously. “He’s a human being you’re talking about, not a fucking piece of meat!”
“Ah, but you see, child” said Sister Veronica in a subdued tone, leaving Sarah to wonder just how inebriated the nun was. “When these wayward souls come our way, that’s exactly what they are, meat. We raise them like livestock until they become a child worth having.”
Sarah was thoroughly disgusted by what she was hearing, even more so by the cavalier attitude with which she was speaking. “Is this the part where you tell us you’ve got a slaughterhouse for kids hidden somewhere?”
Sister Veronica waved a hand dismissively. “Girl, you show the ignorance of all your generation. It is not our intention to kill these children. Far from it. These children have the capacity to be a part of something greater in life. They would waste away, never having anything to offer. They would lead their lives, coasting through life, taking from their environment, but never giving anything back to it.”
“Is that what you told Nathaniel and his brother?” asked Sarah. “That they were going to be a part of something greater?”
Sister Veronica avoided her eyes. “Children seldom comprehend their purpose in life, especially at a young age. But I have found that children are often much more compliant when they are told that they are special. And I remember their mother; an opinionated creature not unlike yourself, unprepared for the trials of motherhood. I do believe she loved her two children. But would she have been prepared for them in the long run. I know the expression, ‘love overcomes’ has been thrown around quite freely, but in this case, I fear, it did not prevail. She had already begun resenting their presence, feeling as though she was at the end of her life because of them, that she had to put her hopes and dreams on standby for her two boys.”
“But when I saw those two boys, I saw the promise that they would bring. And I knew that one day, they would prove themselves useful. I convinced her that the boys were gifted, and it was a God-given right that those gifts be nurtured. But rather than see them disappear into a biased care system...” she snorted derogatively. “I swear when they say ‘care’, it is used ironically, I persuaded her that I was the boy’s best chance of a proper education.”
“And you know everything that happened since then?” asked Sarah disbelievingly.
Sister Veronica shrugged. “I know enough.”
“And you feel no remorse? For all the suffering that has been caused. Have you no conscience?”
Sister Veronica did not alter her manner in any way. “We all knew what was expected of us. We all knew the risks we were taking, just as the two boys did when they escaped. The younger brother...” she paused. “...that was unfortunate. But it was clear that he was not meant for the Moirae. Unfortunately, Ben shared a troubling mindset shared with children of his age; they always seemed to believe that they are the centre of their own little worlds. They have no idea the consequences that their actions have on others, how wide reaching they can be. And we certainly paid the price for his actions.”
Catching Sarah’s dirty look, she snarled, “And don’t you presume to pass judgment on me, child. I made my choices willingly and I stand by them. I won’t apologize for the actions I have taken. God will be my judge.”
“Looks like you’ll be meeting up with him a lot sooner at the rate you’re going” said Kate, gesturing to the wine and the cigarette.
“Sometimes” said Sister Veronica. “To do what we do requires a certain numbness. I don’t know why you feel the need to look at me with such disdainful eyes, child. I am not the instigator of this comedy of errors. I am but a simple chess piece, fulfilling my place on the board so that others may advance.”
“What others?” asked Sarah.
“Well, this... operation could not have been carried out alone” explained Sister Veronica. “There was...” She looked up to Kate, and for a split second, it almost felt like a request for permission to carry on. “...a judge who signs over closed adoptions.”
“And where can we find this judge?” asked Sarah impatiently.
Sister Veronica scoffed. “You presume that he is someone who can be easily tracked down by a simple postal code?”
“We found you easily enough,” said Sarah.
“I have very little to hide from you. And besides, if I had truly wanted to hide from you, why not just climb under a rock and stay there until the day I die? Granted, I wouldn’t be able to sample this magnificent wine, but it feels like a small price to pay for security. How do you even know that finding me was a thing of ingenious deduction on your part?”
She took another puff on the cigarette, truly enjoying it before saying,
“You are always so quick to follow the trail of breadcrumbs. But did you ever stop to think of who left them behind and why?”
The words sent a cold chill running down Sarah’s spine. And all of a sudden, her world seemed so much smaller, and she felt the same feeling a wild animal must feel; caught in a trap with no immediate escape.
She turned to Kate, silently pleading for answers. But if Kate showed any sign of distress over the turn of events, she failed to show it, as stoic as ever.