I promised Steph I’d never see him again. It wasn’t hard in the moment. I couldn’t believe I’d flirted with, kissed, and had sex with her ex-friends with benefits. The same guy that drove her insane, that made her question herself. The same guy she’d put her life on hold for. I’d been there for the roller coaster of emotions. The ups when he’d ask her to meet up and right after, the anxiety of her waiting to hear from him, the downs when he was silent and didn’t take things further.
There were a million conversations with Steph that proved I needed to walk away right now before I remembered how he tasted, the way his name felt in my mouth, or how he felt on top of me, under me, inside me.
I shook my head and focused on the counter again. “I was drunk. I don’t remember anything. That wasn’t even me.”
I can feel Edmon close to me. Heat rolls off his body before his fingers ghost along my side. His breath puffs over the back of my neck and I shiver as goosebumps rise over my skin. “This mark on the back of your neck proves differently.”
Turning around, I find him closer than I thought. My heart lurches into my throat. My body thrums and it’s taking every bit of restraint I have not to ‘trip’ just to feel his arms around me again. It’s stupid. I’ve never had a reaction like this ever.
“Stephanie is my best friend,” I say.
“I’m well aware of that now,” he agrees.
“Which means you’re off limits. I can’t have you. We can’t do this. And I won’t,” I put my foot down. “I’m taking my food and going. Thank you for my card, but we shouldn’t see each other again. At all. Period.”
“Lilah,” he says.
I put my hand out. “That’s my name. Forget it. Handshake goodbye.”
His eyes dart over my head, darken, then he jerks me against him, kissing me. That’s not fair. I bite him, but he groans and kisses me deeper. Why the hell did I bite him? He likes it. He nips my tongue, then does some kind of crazy roll with his tongue like he’s speaking Spanish. I dig my nails into his arm, trying to prove I don’t want this, but he just moans into my mouth.
Jerking away, I touch my bottom lip, then shake my head at him. The woman offers me the bag of food, and I snort while walking away.
“Lilah, that wasn’t about-”
“Done,” I insist. “This didn’t happen. Last night didn’t happen. We’re strangers and it will stay that way.”
“Is that a demand or a request?” He asks.
No. It doesn’t matter that he asked me that last night after I told him it was just one night.
“It’s a statement, rather clear.”
“I had to be sure since you’re a math teacher,” Edmon says.
I face him and shake my head. “No. Stephanie would murder me. You were with me right after you were with her. I was your rebound. No, go on, get a new friend with benefits, and do whatever it is men like you do.”
“There she is; the spitfire.”
Shaking my head, I walk away. I double-check that he’s not following twice, then head home. Stephanie sits there, just staring at the T.V. like she’s not seeing it. I offer her food, and she bites into her burrito angrily.
“I can’t believe him.”
“To be fair, you made out with at least three other people,” I murmur.
“Yeah, well, I’m recovering. I didn’t screw any of them or their best friends.” She rubs her temples. “At least I know you will not see him again now that you know. Ed’s a piece of work, I’ll tell you that. He ropes girls in with all that sex appeal and charm and ... the way his voice gets all husky, and how ... no. I’m not going down this road. Just don’t fall for him.”
“I know better,” I say.
She nods and we eat together. Still, my mind goes back to Edmon. There’s something else to him. I remember the mark on my neck and let my hair down, trying to help Stephanie.
“Are you doing any summer tutoring?” She asks.
“No. I haven’t had any requests. But um, do you want to do something?”
“No. I have to go house sit for my parents for a week. You’re not going to be lonely, are you?” She asks.
“No,” I breathe.
“It’ll be good. I’ll get to clear my head about all of this and I’ll move on. Don’t worry about me. Ed is out of our lives. You’ll never see him again and we’ll go back to our lives. Especially now that you’ve gotten over your two-year celibacy.”
I smack her, and she laughs. Stephanie packs, but the second she’s gone, I can’t help but think of Edmon. I shouldn’t. He was terrible to Stephanie, but she told me all that time ago that she was going to ‘change him’, that she could convince him that a relationship was worth it, but all they did was have sex.
Then again, if he wouldn’t give her a relationship, he will not give me one.
I’m sure of that.
So I have to kick him out of my mind even though he’s the best sex I’ve ever had and the intensity between us, the chemistry is insane. I had him once and that will be good enough. It will be. It has to be. For the sake of my sanity and my friendship with Stephanie.
Which works until I run into Edmon at the grocery store. He doesn’t see me. He's focused on something else, but just seeing him, in a leather jacket, his hair all kinds of mussed, his relaxed pose, how sexy he is while focused on the produce aisle ... how can he make picking out tomatoes hot?
I skitter away before he can catch me and check out without running into him, then stare at the sheets of rain coming down before thunder booms through the streets.
“Are you following me?”
I jump at the voice and turn to find Edmon. “When did you get here?”
He looks me over, staring at my white shirt. “Do you have an umbrella?”
“That’s not an answer.”
I narrow my eyes at him. I huff and walk out into the rain. I hurry to my car, pull on the door, and find it locked. I rifle through my purse and realize my keys are in my car. I have a spare at home but locked that door too. I fish out my phone, committed to calling a locksmith when the rain stops pelting me.
I look up and there’s Edmon. My throat bobs as I stare up at him, his deep blue eyes threatening to engulf me. “Need some help.”
“I ...” He’s here. I can’t change that, but I can keep myself from walking home and it’s not like this is going to go anywhere. “I locked my keys in the car.”
“Does it have an alarm?”
“No. It’s old,” I answer. “Like ... almost as old as me.”
He nods, then reaches into his pocket. I think it’s a lock-picking kit, but I don’t think those work on cars. “Why do you have that?”
“I’m not a fan of locked doors getting in my way,” he says before his leather jacket falls on my head. I hold it over him instead as he breaks into my car. It’s scary that he can do it so easily.
The door opens, and he reaches into the back to unlock that door for my groceries. I set my bags in, dropping the jacket on his head like he did to me a few seconds ago. Once I put the bags in and close the door, Edmon pulls me against him, the rain pelting us both.
“I don’t want anyone else to enjoy this view,” he growls while staring down at me.
“View?”
“Your shirt is see-through, and I appreciate your commitment to a lack of bras.”
I shudder as I stare up at him. “You’d ruin everything, you know that? Because I know you don’t want a relationship.”
“It’s not that I don’t want one. It’s that I can’t have one,” he says. “Work is impossible and my family’s tangled up in it. I can’t have a normal relationship.”
He just gets more and more mysterious. Why does that make me want to know more? No! I don’t. He doesn’t make sense. Math problems, make sense. Teaching makes sense. Things with a formula make sense and Edmon is not any of that.
“I ... I wasn’t lying when we had that night together. I don’t do things like that. I was drunk,” I whisper. “Not drunk enough that you should feel bad, but, drunk. I’m just a teacher. I enjoy reading. I enjoy sitting on the beach and never getting in the water. I hate horror movies. I’m boring and simple.”
“You might have been drunk, but you were still you, hellion.” He pushes a lock of hair out of my eyes. “I promise to keep this from being complicated.”
“So, you just want a friends-with-benefits relationship,” I answer.
“That’s what I can offer.”
I take a deep breath. God, just staring at him and his sharp jaw, smelling his musky, yet warm cologne filling my head makes me want to say yes. I swallow that urge. “Then no.”
“Lilah,” he groans, “you’re allowed to tease, but this-”
“I’m not teasing. The answer is no because as good as you are in bed, I’m not Stephanie and I won’t do this to Stephanie. I ... I can’t,” I say, not sure if I’m telling him or me.
“Is that what you want?”
I touch my open car door, just behind Edmon, and hesitate. One more time couldn’t hurt, right? It’s not like Steph would know, and the house is empty. I suck my bottom lip, tasting the rain rolling down my face.
Edmon doesn’t push me or rush me, he just watches me, waiting for my answer. I have to tell him no. I do because Stephanie will read the guilt on my face in a second, but he tastes so good and ... no.
I’m stronger than those feelings. “I need to go home. It’s pouring.”
“It is,” he agrees.
“Maybe. If we run into each other again or something.”
“Maybe,” he parrots.
I get in my car as Edmon holds the door, then drive home, trying to kick him out of my head. A chance encounter means nothing. It doesn’t.
Yelling that in my head doesn’t make me forget him even as I cook dinner. I don’t forget him after watching one of my favorite movies or after reading. When my body still won’t relax enough to go to sleep, I pull out my favorite vibrator and close my eyes as I rub it over my clit and tease my pussy.
I think of someone joining me in bed, taking the vibrator from me and using it on me, torturing me with slow strokes, then thrusting in. I gasp as it fills me, the buzzing sweeping through my body as I groan.
As I fuck myself to the fantasy, it changes.
“Not enough is it, Lilah? You want more, don’t you?” Edmon’s words fill my head and I groan.
My head falls back as my lips part. “Yes!”
I can imagine him filling me while rubbing the toy over my clit, his teeth marking my shoulder as I stroke his muscular body, drag him closer, and make him mine. My toes curl in the sheets as I pinch my nipple and gasp.
His blue eyes would bore into me as his tongue brushes my bottom lip.
“You need my cock. Isn’t it better than any toy?” He’d say before biting my ear and slamming into me, taking me like he needs me to get through the night.
I yell his name as I come so loud I’m worried it’ll carry over the storm. When I slump back down onto my bed and turn off my toy, I stare at the ceiling. Even though I shouldn’t, even though I don’t want to, I crave Edmon.