— WOULD YOU EVER let yourself be digitally enhanced?
— Wha’?
— Would you ever—
— I heard yeh, but wha’ the fuck are yeh talkin’ abou’?
— You’re chosen to be the face of L’Oréal.
— Me?
— Yeah. So—
— L’Oréal. That’s the butter tha’ spreads straight from the fridge.
— No—
— Wha’ would they want my fuckin’ face for?
— It’s not – You know fuckin’ well what it is.
— Go on. They’ve called to the house an’ asked me to be their face. An’ I’ve said, Yeah. Have I?
— Yeah.
— Grand. Go on.
— So they do the shoot – the filmin’, like.
— ‘Because you’re worth it.’ How was tha’?
— Very good.
— Did it give yeh the horn?
— Not really.
— Okay. I’ll put the pint closer to me lips. Because you’re well fuckin’ worth it. Better?
— I felt a bit of a tingle tha’ time, alrigh’. But annyway, they decide to digitally enhance yeh. Like they did with Rachel Weisz.
— Rachel – ?
— Stay with me. They decide to make yeh look younger.
— Wha’? Fifty-four, like?
— Forty.
— Fuckin’ great.
— Is it not unethical, but?
— What age is Rachel?
— Forty-two.
— Does she go for younger men?
— She might.
— Well then. Unethical, me hole.