VII

He still could not sleep when he lay down again. The truth had begun to dawn on him that he was not physically the man he had been, that his old resilience and iron were wearing thin, and that he would have been better even three years earlier. Everyone in the business burned out eventually. Either their physical reflexes slowed up first, or their ability to keep concentrated on a single line. He knew it was the worst possible time to put his thoughts on a personal basis. It had been the girl’s face that looked so young and happy in its sleep that had disturbed him. He began thinking, just when he should not have, of the outside. If he had stayed on the outside he would undoubtedly be married by now. He would have been in the law. He would have had a home and children, and he would have been a decent man—warm-hearted and genuine—not a suspicious, machine-tooled robot who had been through too much, a man who had played under so many covers that it was becoming impossible to guess what he could have been.

Of course there had always been people like himself who could not easily adjust to civil life after having faced the violences of war. There had been wonderful moments and triumphs. There was always the satisfaction of knowing that in ten years he had made a place for himself in a highly exacting profession, but in the end, what was there of real value? Very little, except what might lie in a set of disconnected memories, very little of which to be proud. And what was he in the end? He was a spy, or a secret agent, if you cared for a politer word, trained to live a life of lying and of subterfuge; trained to submerge his individuality into something he was not—to be a sneak, and if necessary a betrayer; trained to run from danger and let his best friend get it, if it helped the business; to kill or be killed inconspicuously; to die with his mouth shut, in the dark. There was only one loyalty—loyalty to the business. It was, by outside standards, a contemptible profession, and in the end, everybody in the business paid, because deceit was the same as erosion of character.

Why had he not gotten out of it, before it was too late? He raised himself on his elbow. The whisky flask was in his bag and the glasses were on the table. He could even see the traces of Ruth Bogart’s lipstick on her glass. She should have been more careful. He sat up, with his eyes still on the bag, but then he leaned back again. Drinking was always dangerous in the business—it was far safer to indulge in bitter thoughts. It was too late for him to leave the business now. He remembered what she had called him a while ago—a pro; and you could not get from the inside to the outside once you were a pro. He wished to heaven he could sleep as she did. It meant that she still could get out of the business; he hoped she would. He resolved to tell her so, if they came out of this safe. He must have been thinking of what he would say to her just as he fell asleep.

He was convinced that he was not the man he had been once, when the telephone awakened him. He heard Ruth Bogart close the adjoining door before he was on his feet. First he had not been able to sleep. Then he had slept too heavily, and like Ruth Bogart, he must have been on the outside, too, in his dreams. It was something that should never happen in the field.

“Hello,” he said. “Jack Rhyce speaking.”

At any rate, he was back under his cover again, hearty voice and everything. The time on his wrist watch was six to the dot. He was feeling very hungry, and also rested. He was on the beam again.

“Please.” It was undoubtedly Mr. Moto speaking. There was the slow, gentle modulation he remembered, and also the monotony of speech that even excellent Japanese linguists sometimes found hard to escape. “I hope I did not awaken you, Mr. Rhyce.”

“Oh, it’s you, is it?” Jack Rhyce said. “Do I sound sleepy?”

There was a nervous laugh that went with conventional politeness.

“Just a little in your voice, Mr. Rhyce.”

He had to admit that the man downstairs was a damned smart Jap, and when they were, it was hard to find anything smarter.

“Well, you win, as a matter of fact,” Jack Rhyce said. “I have been having a little shut-eye. But come on right up, you’ve got the room number, haven’t you?”

“The room number? Oh, yes.”

It was a needless question. Of course he had the number. There was time for Jack Rhyce to tie his shoes, and put on his seersucker coat. As he did so he realized he had not unpacked anything. He hastily opened his Valpak and pulled some clothes out, because he did not want to give the impression that he might leave at any moment. Then he left the door to the hall half open because a locked door might be conspicuous, and then his heart gave a startled jump. He had completely forgotten the three glasses on the table, but as he moved toward them he saw that only two were there, one with the lipstick smears, and another. Ruth Bogart must have been in when he was asleep, and he felt very much ashamed. He should have thought of the two glasses himself—one of them with lipstick.

The tap on the door was gentle and discreet. Jack Rhyce was accustomed to Japanese manners, and he had listened for many wearisome hours to lectures by social anthropologists on Japanese psychology, but from his own experience in the cruder arena of combat intelligence, he doubted the correctness of many of the lecturers’ conclusions. The background and the thought process of Japan were so different from his own that he had always avoided a confident appraisal. When Mr. Moto knocked, Jack felt a species of nervousness. He knew too much about Japan, yet he must not show it. Japanese were always sensitive.

“Well, well,” Jack Rhyce said, “step right in. You’re right on the dot, I see.” He spoke loudly and deliberately, as one should to a foreigner.

Mr. Moto’s features were finely chiseled. His hands were slender and graceful. In native dress, he would have been a fine figure of a trusted Samurai, and it was very possible that his family had held that feudal rank. But the hideous, purplish blue business suit, aggressively pressed and arrogantly neat, ruined this romantic picture, and so did the very light tan shoes. Mr. Moto was more a figure of low comedy than a representative of old Japan. Then a startling idea came to Jack Rhyce—that he and Mr. Moto might both be impersonating clumsy people. If you took it one way, the hissing intake of Mr. Moto’s breath had a Weber and Fields quality that was too loud and too comic. The same was true of his speech, yet Jack Rhyce could not definitely tell.

“So nice of you to receive me,” Mr. Moto said. “You have enjoyed your sleep, I hope.”

“Yes, sir,” Jack Rhyce said. “I had a real nice shut-eye, thanks, and I feel very much the better for it, Mr.—excuse me. I forget your name.”

“Moto,” Mr. Moto said. He laughed again, but there was no way of telling whether or not his politeness was deliberately overdrawn.

“Moto,” Jack Rhyce said. If they were playing a Mr. Japan and Mr. America game, both of them knew their business. “I’ve got that straight now, and I hope you’ll excuse it, Mr. Moto. Japanese names are tough for me to remember, and I suppose my name is hard for you—Rhyce.”

“Oh, no,” Mr. Moto said. “R is easy in Japan. We have trouble when we pronounce your letter rell. See—I cannot say it. Ha-ha-ha.”

It was hard for Jack Rhyce to decide whether or not Mr. Moto was having deliberate trouble with his l’s It was true that the l sound was difficult for Japanese to accomplish, although good linguists could manage it. In the Pacific during the War, Jack Rhyce remembered, there had been a sea area christened “Alligator Lipstick.” The term had been invented because the area was frequently mentioned by voice over the air and “Alligator Lipstick” was a jawbreaker for the average Japanese. It seemed to Jack Rhyce that sometimes Mr. Moto was having no trouble with his l’s at all.

“That is comical, when you come to think of it,” Jack Rhyce said, “but it takes all kinds to make a world, doesn’t it? You know, I’m kind of hungry after that plane ride. I wonder if we could get some bacon and shirred eggs and tea. Maybe you can make the room boy understand in Japanese better than I can in English. Ha-ha-ha.”

As he spoke he felt sorry for Ruth Bogart listening at the connecting door, and he added, “A whole flock of bacon and eggs and tea.”

“Oh, yes,” Mr. Moto said. “I shall call up room service. Everything is up to date at the Imperial Hote-ru. Excuse me when I cannot say the l.”

There was no breaking the law of averages. Sooner or later there would be a slip of the tongue, or else a careless gesture might become a chain reaction that ruined everything. Mr. Moto had slipped, and Jack Rhyce was sure that he was unaware of it. Mr. Moto had surmounted that stumbling block of the Japanese tongue by pronouncing the letter l with a subconscious fluency, indicating that he could speak a better brand of English than he was using. When he picked up the hotel telephone and asked for room service in Japanese, his accent was crisp and educated. There was something in the careless way in which he handled the instrument that was not Japanese, or English, or German, and certainly not Russian. His posture was very good, as he stood speaking into the receiver, showing that he had done his tour of military duty—the army, Jack Rhyce guessed, rather than navy; and if it was the army, he might have been in the fanatical wing that started the war. His face showed no passion or arrogance, but it was hard to classify Japanese features. When Mr. Moto gave the order, he asked for bacon and eggs and coffee—not tea; and Jack Rhyce was certain he had mentioned tea. He could not suppress a quiet satisfaction as he sat and listened to Mr. Moto’s Japanese. He felt rested, and Mr. Moto had lost a trick in pronouncing the letter l.

“Everything will be right up,” Mr. Moto said. “Chop-chop, as they say in China. Ha-ha.”

“That’s mighty kind of you,” Jack Rhyce said. “This language barrier is a pretty tough thing, isn’t it? Sit down, won’t you please? And I do hope the food does come up chop-chop, as you say. I could certainly do with a cup of coffee.”

You were bound to fall flat on your face at one time or another. He could have bitten off his tongue the moment he mentioned coffee, but already it was too late. There was nothing to do but go ahead, without showing a trace of embarrassment.

“You know you’ve come at just the right time, Mr. Moto,” he said. “I’m here to do a piece of work for an organization known as the Asia Friendship League, something in the nature of a report, and the more I think of it, the more sure I am that I’ll need somebody like you to show me around.”

Mr. Moto’s glance had turned toward the glasses on the table; Jack Rhyce had a feeling that tension had relaxed when Mr. Moto saw them. There might have been some truth in that phrase of Bill Gibson’s—safety in sex. You could discount a good deal of potential menace in a man if you saw a glass with lipstick smears in his bedroom.

“The Asia Friendship League,” Mr. Moto said. “How very, very nice. The United States is such a kind nation, after the war, to do such nice things for Japan. The Asia Friendship League is known to me, and Mr. Pender, its new head, is such a good, nice man.”

“So you know Mr. Pender?” Jack Rhyce said. “Well, that’s fine. I’ve already had a warm and really constructive talk with him. He’s going to show me around the shop tomorrow, and so I’m afraid I’ll be pretty much engaged tomorrow. By the way, how about a little drink, Mr. Moto? Oh-oh … I’ve got to rinse the glasses.”

“Oh, no,” Mr. Moto said, “not for me. But you—prease, you help yourself.”

Jack Rhyce took his flask from his open kit-bag and poured himself another drink.

“I suppose the tap water’s all right in Tokyo?” he asked.

“Oh, yes,” Mr. Moto said. “You see, the American Army has been here.”

“Oh, yes,” Jack Rhyce said. “Well, as I was saying, I’m going to be busy tomorrow, but Saturday and Sunday I shall need a little rest and relaxation. You know—maybe you’ve got a saying in Japan like ours in the States—all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? And the nice thing about that little maxim is, my first name happens to be Jack.”

Jack Rhyce smiled fatuously and sipped his drink. He was almost sure that Mr. Moto was smiling sympathetically.

“There are lots of amusements in Tokyo and its vicinity,” Mr. Moto said. “I would be so preased to show geisha girls or anything, Mr. Rhyce.”

Jack Rhyce laughed easily.

“That would be swell sometime later,” he said. “But this Saturday and Sunday I was thinking of taking a spin into the country. You see, I was here in the Occupation for a day or two, and the army had taken over a hotel up in the mountains. I’ve got the name of the place written down. It’s in Mio—Mio—”

“Oh,” Mr. Moto said, “Miyanoshita. Very nice.”

Jack Rhyce took another sip from his drink, and gave Mr. Moto a man-to-man look.

“Well, I thought if you could rent me a good car, and a driver, I might go up there, and well—you know, take a girl along.”

Mr. Moto nodded and tactfully drew in his breath.

“Oh, yes,” he said. “I can drive myself. I can get a good car for you, and very nice girl.”

“That’s it,” Jack Rhyce said. “That’s the spirit, Mr. Moto. I had a hunch, right when I saw you at the airport, that you’d be broadminded. A man has to have fun sometime, doesn’t he?”

“Oh, yes,” Mr. Moto said. “Oh, yes. If you wish, I can find four or five girls and you can make a choice.”

“Well, that’s fine,” Jack Rhyce said, “but you supply the car, and I’ll supply the young lady. Be around here at nine o’clock on Saturday morning.”

“Oh, yes,” Mr. Moto said, “and we can see Kamakura—many interesting things. The Daibutsu Buddha—very big and very old, and Eno-shima—very rovery, very many things.”

There was a knock on the door. It was a waiter with bacon and eggs and coffee. Mr. Moto rose and bowed. The bow was old-fashioned, belonging more to the older than the newer generation. “Nine, Saturday,” he said. “Big, fine American car. Everything first-crass. You will be satisfied, I am sure, and thank you very much. Good night then, Mr. Rhyce.”

It had been a long while since Jack Rhyce had been so unsure of his cover work. He could not tell exactly what anything was about, except that there had been that atmosphere of tenseness, and a combat of minds. That slip of his still worried him. There was no need to exaggerate its potential danger. His expression must have disturbed Ruth Bogart when he called her to come in.

“What went wrong?” she asked. “You sounded so terrific, you almost made me feel sick to my stomach.”

Jack Rhyce pointed to the table and the tray.

“Sit down and eat it,” he said. “I’ll order up some more from room service.” He stopped and imitated Mr. Moto’s voice. “Everything is up to date in the Imperiar Hote-ru.”

“But what is worrying you?” she asked.

“The coffee,” he answered, and he told her.

“Well, it’s over now,” she said. “I didn’t know you knew a word of Japanese. You said you’d hardly ever been in Japan.”

There was nothing to do, and time stretched ahead of them uninterruptedly until the next morning. There was actually no reason why he should not talk about himself, or why they should not be reasonable human beings for a while.

“Frankly,” he said. “I did live in Japan from the age zero to five. Japanese servants are devoted to kids, and I was speaking the language all the time. My father was a missionary, and the moral of that story is always to look out for missionaries’ sons.”

“You’re too conscientious for me to have to look out for you,” she said. “Why didn’t you lose that Japanese when you went back to the States?”

He had not talked about the outside to anyone for several years. It was an unfamiliar and rather agreeable experience, to be sitting there in Tokyo, thinking of the outside.

“My father wanted me to keep it up,” he said, “and he made me for quite a while. You see—don’t laugh—he wanted me to be a missionary, too. It’s peculiar what parents want their children to be, isn’t it? The language came right back to me in the war at language school.”

He stopped and passed the flask to her.

“We may as well finish this,” he said, “and you heard what our friend told us—tap water’s good in Tokyo. And thanks for doing that about the glasses. Thanks a lot.”

“Don’t mention it,” she said. “You can’t be a mastermind all the time, you know. Did he notice?”

“Oh, yes,” he said, “he noticed. You wait until you see more of him. I’m afraid he’s very smart.”

“Afraid?” she repeated.

“That’s right,” he said. “I don’t know where he fits in—not to mention this man Pender in the Chevrolet.” He had forgotten that she did not know about Harry Pender.

“We’re still in the clear with him, I think,” he said, “or he wouldn’t have told about that U.S.O. singing caravan. But we’re running into something.”

Her manner changed as she listened. All the outlines of her face had hardened. Her eyes were still very pretty, but they had hardened, too.

“Yes,” she said, “we’re walking into something, but let’s not take it too big, if you know what I mean.”

“I wish I could place the Jap.” he said. “It’s what I tell you I can’t make out where he fits.”

“All right,” she said. “We’ll find out. We’re walking into it, but don’t take it too big.”

“There’s the second time you’ve said that. Just what do you mean?” he asked.

She thought for a moment before she answered, and the hardness had not left her face.

“I suppose I’ll have to be personal,” she said. “We’re teamed up on this, and we’ve got to stick together, and you’re running the show, of course. I don’t know as much as you do, but I’ve seen enough to like the way you work. There’s only one thing about you that makes me nervous.”

From the way that he reacted he knew that his nerves were still edgy, and he found it difficult to keep annoyance out of his voice.

“I’m sorry if I make you nervous,” he told her. “Go ahead and tell me why.”

“Because, as I was saying, you’re too damned conscientious, Jack,” she told him. “You try to think of everything, and no one can. Why not try to just think of one or two things tonight, and put the rest out of your head? It will be back in the morning.”

“All right,” he said. “Name the one or two things.”

“Well, I’ll name one,” she answered. “How about thinking about me for a while? I wish you wouldn’t take me as another responsibility. I’m really not as bad as that. Remember about the glasses?”

When she smiled at him his nerves were not on edge any longer.

“I mean,” she said, “let’s try to be friends as well as business associates. I think it would help the cover if we found out a little more about each other—what we really are, I mean, and not what we’re pretending to be. We can pick that up again tomorrow.”

“That’s true,” he said. “We don’t know much about each other, do we? And maybe you’re right. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

“Then go ahead and be yourself,” she said. “Say anything, but for heaven’s sake let’s be ourselves. For instance, say something about Japan that isn’t a free lecture. Just go ahead and say something.”

Her mood, it struck him, was the same as his had been before he had fallen asleep. He understood exactly what she meant, and it saddened him that it was an effort to do what she asked. Instinctive caution was all around him. He had been in the business too long.

“Well,” he said, “I suppose childhood is an impressionable age. Even if you can’t remember the details, they are all back in your mind somewhere. I haven’t been back to Japan since I was five, except for a few days in the Occupation, but it’s all familiar. I can feel at home in it because I used to go to the mission school. I used to play with the gardener’s boy.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Is that the conversational line you wanted?”

“Yes,” she said, “it is, and it’s the first time you’ve been natural since I’ve seen you. Now I know quite a lot about you, but you don’t know anything about me.”

“No,” he said, “but you don’t have to tell me, Ruth.”

“But aren’t you curious about me?” she asked. “Guess what I was outside? Aren’t you curious enough to guess?”

He was surprised that she asked the question because girls in the business seldom cared to talk about their pasts. It was a safe bet they all had them, and rather lurid ones, or they would not have been in the business. There was always some tragedy of love, or a broken home, or some hate or some frustration that was requited by the business. As his glance met hers, and as she raised her eyebrows slightly, he honestly preferred to take her as she was, without knowing any more.

“Why, yes,” he said, “I could make an educated guess about you, but I don’t know that you’d like it.”

Her glance met his again, and then shifted.

“You’re such a damn pro—aren’t you?” she asked—“you know everything.”

He was sorry to detect an undertone of antagonism in what she said. Antagonism, or clash of personality, would seriously interfere with their working smoothly together. He knew that she must be tired by the trip, and by Bill Gibson’s hurried call, and by the Japanese; the appearance of Mr. Pender in the dented Chevrolet did not help to soothe one’s nerves. The truth was that neither of them did know anything about the other, and in his opinion it was better that way, when working with a woman in the business. It was better to keep things on an impersonal basis, if possible, and not to quarrel or be unkind; but the strain of the day had told on him, too. Otherwise, he would not have been led further into the conversation.

“I’m sorry if I’ve displeased you,” he said. “I’ve got a lot on my mind, you know. Of course I don’t know everything, but maybe I’ve been around more than you have, and I’ve been acquainted with a lot of girls in the business—some good and some not. I know how they look and how they act, and I’ve often had to check their backgrounds. Naturally I can make an educated guess about you. Naturally I’ve made one to myself already.”

He was sorry to notice that her face had flushed.

“So you think I’m just another tramp,” she said. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“No,” he said, “I’m not trying to tell you anything. There’s no cause for you to lose your temper, Ruth.”

“I’m not losing my temper,” she answered. He knew this was not true. “But I do think if two people are going to work together they, understand each other better if they know something about each other, and if they’re friends and not acquaintances. Suppose you tell me what you think you know about me, and I’ll tell you if you’re right.”

“Why don’t we keep what we think about each other to ourselves?” he said. “It might save a lot of trouble, but if you want it your way, I’ll go along.”

There was no use antagonizing her just when work was starting, but she had challenged his professional pride.

“If you stay in this racket,” he said, “as long as I’ve been in it, you’ll naturally learn to notice things about people, and not let them get on your nerves. You’ll get further if you just sit quietly and look. All right, if you want the professor to give you an analysis—in the first place, you’re not in the tramp class, and you never will be. You’re too well bred. You have too much background and character to be a tramp.”

“That’s nice to know,” she answered. “Go ahead, what else?”

He was no longer reluctant to go ahead. He had finally become interested in his ideas. If he had any gifts, his best had always been analysis of people.

“Now most girls in your position,” he said, “always tell the same story. All of them are always born of wealthy parents, usually living on Southern plantations. Then along came a business failure, or else they married an undesirable man. The undesirable man is usually correct—but in your case the rest of it is true. You come from an excellent background. You were brought up in a large American city, but I can’t tell which, from your accent. Upper-class accents are reasonably interchangeable.”

“Go ahead,” she said. “What else?”

“You never spent all the year in the city.” He had forgotten Tokyo. He was always interested in blocking out a character. “You spent a lot of your time, while you were growing up, in the country—a riding country, but not the West. You schooled and jumped horses once.”

There was a flicker of interest in her glance.

“What made you make that guess?” she asked.

“Your posture,” he said, “but mainly your hands. You have beautiful hands, but they are strong above the average. They are riding hands.”

“All right,” she said. “You hit that one. Go ahead.”

“All right,” he said, “if you’ll excuse my being personal. One or two things you said on this trip make me think you’ve been used to attention, and expect a good deal from people. You should, because you’re exceedingly good-looking.”

“Why, thanks,” she said.

“I’m a man,” he answered. “It’s obvious; but I don’t think I’ve been influenced by it.”

“And, believe me, I haven’t tried to influence you,” she said. “And don’t worry. I won’t. So you think I was spoiled, do you? All right, I was, by the family and the servants.”

“I’d also guess that you’re an only child,” he said. “That’s only an educated guess. I’d say your father had great personal charm. Drinkers do, and I’m afraid he was a drunk. I’ve noticed how your expression changes every time I pick up my glass. You loved him and he disappointed you—so you were disillusioned by the father image. He died, I imagine, while you were away at a fashionable boarding school. Your mother married again, and you were on the loose with an independent income—a bright, popular girl. You went to college, and I’ll bet it was nearer to Bryn Mawr than Goucher. You fell in love, and the boy friend left you flat. He wasn’t killed in Korea or anything. He left you flat.”

“What makes you say that?” she asked.

“From the way you act with a man,” he said. “You don’t trust men. Then you met the Chief. The Chief’s good at spotting material, and he found that you were a natural at the business. You were rattling around loose, just the way I was when the Chief found me, and that’s about all.”

When he had finished he knew he had been very close to being right, from the cool suspicious way in which she looked at him.

“Just how did you happen to see my file?” she asked. “I thought those things were confidential.”

He shook his head slowly.

“No file,” he said. “I’ve only found out about you by minding my own business, watching you. You asked for it.”

She was looking at him with a new respect. At least her antagonism had gone. Suddenly she smiled at him, and he knew that they were friends.

“You make me feel naked,” she said, “or like the tattooed woman in the circus. I didn’t know I had everything written on me in fine print. Actually, in case you want to know, we owned a place in Virginia. In fact, I own it still.”

“Now, listen,” he said, “you don’t have to tell me anything more about yourself. It doesn’t help the general situation, and we shouldn’t be talking like this. It’s too dangerous, Ruth.”

She shook her head in an exasperated way.

“You’re always damn careful, aren’t you?” she said. “How do you mean—too dangerous?”

“When you get talking this way you get interested,” he said. “It’s dangerous to get interested, or like anyone too much in the business, Ruth. You might have to ditch me, or I might have to ditch you tomorrow. You know that.”

His hand rested on her shoulder, and she had not moved away, and he was right that it was dangerous.

“Well, thank heaven you have a human side,” she said. “And I’m glad we’ve talked this way, and to hell with the business until tomorrow.” She brushed his hand off and stood up. “Look, we haven’t had anything to eat. Call for a room waiter since everything’s so modern at the Imperial Hotel, and these eggs are cold, and everything. And I have another flask in my suitcase. After all, you’re supposed to be crazy about me, Jack.”

He was right that the whole thing was dangerous. He knew all the rules about women and emotional involvement. He knew that he was at least coming very close to breaking several of them, but he had never realized that the prospect could be so pleasant. For a moment or two, at any rate, he felt he was himself again, exactly as he had been on the outside. It was a transient sensation, but at the same time, it was a revelation, because he had never believed that clocks turned back.

“Let’s save your flask for some other time,” he said. “I’m having a good time without it. In fact—”

He stopped because his training was back with him.

“In fact, what?” she asked.

That twinge of caution was gone when he looked at her. He knew he was saying what a great many others had said before him, and yet he did not care.

“Maybe it won’t hurt if we took a little time off,” he said.