Chapter Thirteen

ONE MORE DAY. One more day of scavenging medical supplies, and they’d be on their way back to Dead Run River and she could pretend Sean-sexy-face-Daniels didn’t exist. She would get back to normal, where she didn’t feel as if she could cry or laugh at any second, and she’d be back with Nelson. Once she crossed those colony gates, she’d be back to her old, unafraid self again. Just twenty-four more tiny hours.

“V,” Finn scolded. “Are you paying attention?”

“Finneas, answer me this.” She ignored his groan and scanned the street in front of Saint Francis Medical Center for the hundredth time. There was nothing but a bold rat digging through debris. “Am I the only one who wasn’t told about Steven’s sleepwalking problem?”

“For the fifth time, I said I was sorry. He came to me with it right after he was picked, and I thought I told everyone. I didn’t mean to leave you out.”

“So if I would’ve pulled that trigger, if Sean hadn’t been fast enough, all of the guilt I lived with for the rest of my life would be your fault.”

“Yes. I made a tactical error thinking the problem wouldn’t be as bad as it got. I’m sorry I put you both at risk. Though, as I hear it, Carpenter’s not sorry because he seems to have gotten an eyeful of you last night.”

“Yeah, roughly half of our team saw my goodies last night, so next time he goes around bragging on it, please remind him he’s not so special.”

“Sean said you knew people in the Denver colony. Back before it fell.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Does Sean tell you everything?”

“I just wanted to give my condolences. It was my home, and I lost a lot of people in that uprising too.” He stretched his thickly muscled neck like his sweater was suddenly too tight. “And no, Sean doesn’t tell me everything, but I like to think he tells me a lot. We’ve been friends for a long time.”

“How long is a long time?”

“Uh, since about six months into the outbreak. I met him when he was looking for a place to set up a colony, and I helped him build the gates to the one he eventually chose. I was the first one to congratulate him when his daughter, Adrianna, was born, and I was there when his wife was taken. V?”

She’d grown more and more uncomfortable during the touchy-feely speech Finn was giving, and she twitched suspiciously under the moniker. “What?”

“Go easy on him. He’s been through some really hard times.”

“Yeah, well, it’s the apocalypse, Finneas. Everyone’s been through hard times. Take that guy.” She gestured to a perfectly cleaned skeleton draped elegantly across a cracked curb. “He probably came in here for a routine colonoscopy and came out as someone’s lunch. Now that’s some hard times.”

Finn didn’t say anything for a long time, so she pointed her attention back to her post. The others were inside, trying to find anything that would fill the last couple of boxes they could fit into the back of the Terminator.

“Three and a half years you’ve known him, and that’s a long time. Isn’t that crazy?” she asked. “That three and a half years is a long time these days?” Every single thing had changed after the outbreak. Sometimes it still hit her just how much.

“Three and a half years is a lifetime now,” he agreed. “Days seem longer when there’s not much hope, so the weeks and months drag on.”

“Did your best friend Sean tell you he made out with me and then called me Laney?”

Finn’s startled gaze snapped to hers, and he muttered an oath under his breath. “I didn’t think he liked her as much as all that.”

“Hmm. Would you approve of me if I were her?”

“That’s not a fair question, and you know it. Laney is good people. Sean is good people. They were not good people together though. They were like oil and water, always fighting each other, always keeping each other at a distance. He had no business going after anyone in the state he was in after Aria.”

“What happened with Aria?”

“That is something Sean is going to have to tell you if he ever tells anyone.”

“Never mind then. I’m not talking to Sean after this is over. He makes me crazy and not in a good way. Besides, I have a strict I-don’t-date-boys-who-stab-me-and-call-me-by-other-women’s-names policy. Keeps the creepers away.”

Movement across the street had both of them lifting their rifles to better see out of their scopes. Just another rat joining the first. The day had been so quiet, she almost itched for a little action just to rid herself of the humming tension that ran under the surface of her skin. She sank back against the painted side of the Terminator, flipped one of her blades up in the air, and caught it by the hilt as static crackled on the radio.

“We’re about done here,” Sean said. “Are we still clear out there?”

“Yep, we’re clear,” Finn murmured into the speaker. “Come on out whenever you’re ready.”

He lifted the sliding door to the truck, did a perimeter sweep of the sides of the building, and joined her again. “And just so you know, Sean isn’t a creeper. He’s a good guy. I know, because I saw him with Aria.”

She sighed and closed her eyes against the ache of denial. “That was three and a half years ago, Finn. A lifetime, remember?”

A shot echoed from the building.

“Sean?” Finn radioed.

Static was the only answer.

“Sean!” Uh-uh, screw that radio.

“Vanessa!” Finn yelled as she blasted around the truck and through the front doors.

Rifle up and finger at the ready to pull the trigger on whatever had caused the fear of loss that clung to her gut like moss, she barreled through the door and ran into Sean who was headed the opposite direction. She would’ve been relieved he was still upright if not for the sagging weight of Steven on his arm.

Sean’s eyes looked somber and angry, and she moved out of the way as he brushed past her. “Load up, Summers. Deads will have heard that shot, and they’ll be on us soon.”

Jackson growled as she nudged her way in front of him and asked, “What happened? Is he okay?”

“Ask Brandon back there,” he offered without missing a step. “And before you kill him, remember we need him to save Steven’s life.”

The rifle clacked as she slid it to her back and dropped under Steven’s other arm to help drag him out. When she looked down, his dark sweater was wet. No, no, no.

Finn stood ready beside the sliding door, and Sean barked for him to go grab the other two boxes in the supply room. “Be quick about it,” he advised.

Between her and Sean, they got Steven laid out across the backseat, and she eased his head into her lap before yanking his shirt up to expose a perfect entry hole. Bile rode a wave of dread and threatened to gag her. “Steven,” she said a lot more calmly than she felt. “We need to see if you have an exit wound. Help us roll you over.”

Jackson fired a shot at a Dead running around the corner of the building and Sean fell back to help fend them off. Brandon took his place.

Her voice shook with anger. “What did you do?”

His face was pale to match Steven’s, and when he opened his mouth to speak, his lips trembled. “It was an accident.”

“Please don’t tell me you were messing around with your gun in there and shot one of your own team.”

Air snuffled loudly to and from his nose as he looked like he might pass out. “I didn’t mean to,” he squeaked.

The color of his eyes drew heavenward as he swayed, and Vanessa slapped him cleanly across the cheek. Without a moment’s pause, she clutched the front of his shirt and brought him face to face with her. “If you don’t save him, I swear, I’ll kill you to avenge his death.”

He swallowed hard and nodded vigorously.

With Brandon’s help, she rocked Steven on his side and lifted the back of his shirt. There it was. Right at the mouth of a red stream, the exit hole was buried and leaking. The bullet had mushroomed the second it hit Steven’s skin and the hole in his back looked much worse than the front. She could only imagine the kind of damage it had inflicted on his organs as it smashed through his body.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Steven asked.

Vanessa inhaled a great gust and set his head on the seat so she could retrieve the first-aid kit. Gunfire peppered the air around them. Where the heck was Finn with the last of the boxes?

She spared a glance for Sean, who’d moved a ways off from the truck and was picking the growing numbers off one by one. His focus was complete and unwavering—he was a stone among the chaos.

Ripping the red backpack open, she shoved it at Brandon and took over putting pressure on the shirt he’d found to push against Steven’s wounds. There was so much blood. How could anyone survive losing so much?

Brandon tore through packages of medical supplies she couldn’t even guess at, and after giving him an injection of some sort of clear fluid, he pulled a pair of latex gloves over his hands and tossed her a pair too. While she pulled hers on, Brandon stuck his finger into the entry wound and felt around, eliciting a pained scream from Steven. With all of her weight, she held his shoulders down.

“His liver is definitely nicked. Dr. Mackey is equipped to handle that kind of patch up, but we don’t have the supplies here. We have to get him back to Dead Run River, and we have to do it now.”

“Sean!”

“Yeah?” he shouted between rounds.

“We have to go, now!”

Finn jogged through the front hospital doors with two oversized boxes stacked in his giant arms. Under Sean and Jackson’s cover fire, he secured them in the back, and the door to the Terminator made a metal grating sound as he slid it closed. Jackson hopped up into the driver’s seat just as a trio of Deads reached that side of the truck and clawed at the freshly closed door. Finn and Sean piled into the passenger side and slammed the door, but not before Sean had to kick a scrabbling arm out of the way.

As Jackson hit the gas, Sean spun around. “How bad is it?”

Her silent answer seemed good enough for him because he leveled her with the saddest look swimming in the depths of his eyes.

The truck jostled and threw them as Jackson ran over any Dead in the way of their escape. The grille was definitely going to have to be scraped clean after this little joyride. “Where to, boss man?” he asked.

“Home. Get us back to Dead Run River as fast as you can.” He sunk into the cushion of the front seat and rubbed his eyes. “Brandon, you better hope you can keep him alive until we get there.”

Vanessa was a warrior. Tirelessly, she’d held her finger against a nicked artery in Steven’s open wound. The common iliac artery, Brandon had called it. Even long after Steven had passed out from the blood loss, she’d worked to keep him alive. It ripped Sean up to see her so scared. Loss came with this life, but every instinct in him cried to protect her from the unfairness of the world.

The muscles in her arms jerked and twitched, and her back spasmed visibly from where she leaned over to apply pressure. The trip back had taken hours. Steven had been shot in a hospital down in Colorado Springs, where they’d dipped to find the supplies they couldn’t get in Denver. They’d tapped it out and had to go further for the things Dr. Mackey needed—unfortunately for Steven.

Vanessa’s skin had paled to the color of her dying friend’s by the time they pulled up to the colony gates.

“Welcome back, sir,” the guard who opened the giant wooden barrier greeted.

“Grady, I need you to make a call to Dr. Mackey right away. We have a bad injury.”

Grady’s eyebrows lowered, and he leaned in closer. “What kind of injury, sir?”

“Not a bite. He’s been shot. It’s obvious, entry wound and exit. He’s in bad shape.”

“Yes, sir.” He jogged a small distance away, and his murmured order floated across the clearing.

“Bite check,” Ramirez, an older guard, barked into the cab of the truck.

“We don’t have time for this,” Vanessa gritted out.

Sean jumped out with Jackson and Finn and pulled off his shirt. “There’s no time to argue. We can’t get in without being cleared, and we’re losing precious seconds.”

He’d done a gate check a hundred times. Still, for some reason it bothered him to be so exposed in Vanessa’s direct line of sight. Cleared, he yanked on his pants and jumped the step into the Terminator. “Brandon and Vanessa, you guys are going to have to keep that pressure on while we take him in. There isn’t a road to Dr. Mackey’s that the Terminator will fit on, so we hoof it from here to the ATV the guards are bringing around. You ready?”

Both nodded wearily.

Between him and Finn, they managed to get Steven’s limp body out of the truck without cutting his lifeline in Brandon and Vanessa loose, but it had taken time. Time the fading man didn’t have.

Waiting for Vanessa and Brandon to pass gate check was a test in patience, but thankfully Grady was the one up for the job, and he seemed to sense the urgency of the situation because he lifted their shirts and checked their legs and every other square inch of vulnerable skin by lifting clothes, not making them strip. Not exactly protocol, but fitting considering. Grady asked him not to tell Mel, and he assured him he wouldn’t.

Finally loaded into the bed of a small trailer hitched to a four-wheeler, they jostled and jounced until they came to the medical cabin. Dr. Mackey was waiting.

“I need everybody out so I can work,” Doc said in a somber tone.

With Steven on the operating table in the small and poorly-equipped operating room, Vanessa finally pulled her finger away from the warmth of his slick injury. She stood there, white as a sheet and nearly as flimsy, with blood smeared up to her elbows and her bottom lip trembling as the door closed behind her.

“Doc will let me know as soon as he has anything to tell us,” Sean promised, gripping the radio to stop himself from gathering her up in his arms and hugging her until she had color in her cheeks again.

She dragged wide, shocked eyes to his and gave a curt nod. Her crimson forearms lifted under the window light as she stared at the drying color. “I need to clean up.”

“Sure,” he said, dropping his hand. When had he even reached for her?

She turned and ambled out the door, leaving a bloodstain on the handle where she’d let herself out.

Brandon leaned heavily against the operating room door, and Sean rounded on him. “Don’t you leave here until you know something either way. You radio me the instant you have news. Whether he makes it or not, you call it in.”

“Okay,” Brandon murmured.

He wanted to see Adrianna. To hold her and let her know Daddy had come home safe and that she was protected. But on runs where there were injuries and deaths, other matters had to be seen to first. Keeter’s wife would already be looking for him, as the news of their arrival would spread like a grass fire on a windy day in drought season. He had to find her before she found out about her husband’s passing in some callous way.

Steven didn’t have any family, or even a girlfriend that he knew about, but he’d have friends around Dead Run River who deserved to know he was fighting for his life. The man could use every ounce of positive energy from his loved ones they could muster.

Adrianna would have to wait until the painful chores were done. He wasn’t really back yet. Not until he tied up all the loose ends of the jumbled knot that had been the supply run.

For the tenth time in an hour, Sean turned the radio off and then clicked it back on and checked the channel. Still no news on Steven.

“Daddy?” Adrianna asked as she flipped a handmade fly into the stream again.

“Yes, baby?”

“I asked Laney to be my mommy, but she said I have lots of moms. Her, and Mel, and Eloise. She said I’m lucky because everyone wants to take care of me. Maybe it’s okay if I have lots of mommies because Mel makes me cookies, and Eloise teaches me about flowers, and Laney shows me how to fish, and she even promised she won’t be too busy for me when her baby comes out of her tummy.”

His mouth was hanging open, so he snapped it closed and counted to five before answering. “Why did you ask Laney to be your mommy? I thought we were doing okay, just you and me.”

The fly made a tiny sound against the surface of the bubbling stream. “Oh, we do good, Daddy, but sometimes you have to go away and sometimes I want to stay with one mommy instead of three.”

Sean stood from the bag chair he’d been settled into and crouched down in front of her. With gentle hands against her fragile shoulders, he searched her dark eyes. “Honey, getting a new mommy isn’t as easy as all of that. Your mom was so special to me that when she passed away, it made it hard for me to find someone who would make me as happy. I can’t promise you we’ll have a family like you want, but I can promise we’ll do the best we can, just like we always have, okay? And whenever you need girl time, Laney, Mel, and Eloise are always there to talk to. Just let me know what you need, and we’ll get you to ’em, okay?”

She nodded. “’Kay.”

He frowned at the fishing line, tugged by the current and waves, but nothing else. “We haven’t caught any fish, Ade. I don’t think they’re biting this late in the season.”

“Oh, I know, but Laney told me I need to keep practicing with the fly so I’ll be a fish denominator come spring.”

“A fish dominator?”

She pulled the line in. “That’s what I said.”

“You need to stop growing, Ade.” He scooped her up and tickled her face with his whiskers. “Stop it this instant. I demand it!”

In a fit of giggles, the little girl placed her tiny hands on each side of his face and graced him with a smile that mirrored his own. “I missed you, Dad.”

“Oh, I’m Dad now? No more Daddy?”

“Nope.” She burst into another round of laughter as he tickled her ribs.

Her laugh filled the forest, reverberating off giant pines and landing in his heart. God, he’d missed that sound. It rubbed layers of angst and uncertainty from him. That tinkling sound made everything clearer and brighter somehow.

He set her upright and folded up the chair before sticking it in the hollowed-out tree stump where it belonged. How many hours had he and Adrianna sat in this very spot while she honed her fishing skills? How many times had he tied flies and helped her with her swing, and unhooked tiny cutthroat trout from her line? This was what surviving the outbreak was all about. Life was hard when you were the rarest species on the planet, but this was the point, wasn’t it? It was all about having this completely happy moment with someone who fought the darkness with you.

She shouldered the fishing pole and slid her little hand into his as they headed up the trail toward their cabin.

Movement up the trail had him shoving Adrianna behind him before he had a thought. He’d probably do that for a week before he settled back into the safety of Dead Run River. That’s the way it had always been when he went on supply runs.

Laney hiked the trail toward them, visibly rounder than when he’d seen her the week before. How had she grown so much in such a small amount of time? Her walk seemed uncomfortable, and she kept her gaze downcast at the trail she approached. Something in him stirred, but it wasn’t what he thought it would be. Instead of a pang of loss or lust, there was just relief. Relief to be home to see people he knew out on a trail he walked. Relief to see someone who cared about his daughter. Relief at seeing a friend. But most of all, he was relieved that he saw her as he was supposed to see her. Like he saw her before she left with Mitchell all those months before. No longer did he feel like he’d lost out or missed the boat. She was just Laney. Not Laney-the-one-who-got-away—just his friend, Laney. The week had changed his heart.

No, it was more than a week off from the regret.

Vanessa had changed him.

Laney waved as she caught sight of them. “What’re you doing this far up the mountain?” he asked.

Her breathing was heavy, and she stopped and waited for them to reach her. “I came to say welcome back and to see how the supply run went. Also, I wanted to tell you all of the stuff we did that you wouldn’t approve of before munchkin over there did so I can explain myself before you explode.”

“Ha! Okay, spill the beans, ladies.”

“I shot a crossbow,” Adrianna offered.

“I can deal with that as long as you only do that with Laney or Finn.”

Laney shot a conspiratorial grin at his little girl. “She got to carry around a pocket knife when she was around me or Mel.” She handed him a small red Swiss Army Knife. “It’s hers. Mitchell and I picked it up for her at the last colony we were in.”

“You know this isn’t a toy, right?” he asked.

Adrianna nodded with wide, serious eyes riveted on the tiny weapon in his hand. “Laney taught me all about how to use the tools, and I even cut my finger once, see?” She held up a nicked finger as proof. “I know how to be real careful with it.”

“Mmm,” he said, eyeing the tiny cut. “If you prove you can be responsible with it around me, maybe in a year or two, you can carry it on you all the time.”

“Also,” Laney said slowly, “I took her to work with me two days this week.”

“Work?” he asked as a panicked feeling sank into his gut like a stone in the river. “Work, like with the cattle? Outside of colony gates? Are you testing me?”

“A little,” she admitted. “Mostly, Eloise was sick, and Mel was up to her eyeballs in colony business, and my workload is light on account of—” She gestured to her expanding belly. “Plus it was a big adventure for her, and she got to feed a late spring calf, and Mitchell and Guist were both on guard duty there, so she was completely protected. And yeah, maybe a little piece of me wanted to see if you’d flip out like the old days because I’ll tell you, this new zen Sean is kind of freaking me out.”

With his eyes closed tightly shut, he counted to ten before he opened them and smiled (some would call it a grimace) at her. “No more of that. The other stuff is fine, but I don’t want her outside of colony gates unless I’m the one who takes her.”

Laney’s dark eyebrows arched. “That’s all? No yelling? No mental mind bullets fired my way?”

“Please don’t test me with her anymore, Laney. I want to keep trusting you with my daughter, but that was crossing the line.”

“I understand. And I swear I won’t test you anymore. Ow!” She doubled over and gripped her belly.

Hunching, he held her elbow in case she went down. “Laney, what’s wrong?”

“Oooh, it’s the baby. Doc says it’s just those false labor pains because it’s way too early, but dang it they hurt. Whoo!” She straightened but didn’t remove her hand from her stomach.

“How far along are you?”

“Only seven months. If this is what I have to look forward to all through the last trimester, this is super lame.”

“I remember Aria getting the false labor pains, but she didn’t get them until later in the pregnancy.”

Laney had a faraway look and a slight frown when she said, “Maybe if I eat again, I’ll feel better.”

“Okay, let’s get you to the mess hall. I have nothing in the pantry at the cabin.”

“Ew, Dad, feel how tight her belly is,” Adrianna cooed with her hands plastered on the front of Laney.

Nope. No way was he pushing that boundary. He’d just learned he didn’t have the intense feelings about her he used to. He wasn’t tempting his heart to soften to her mothering side. “I’m good.”

Static crackled over the radio. “Sean?” came Brandon’s weary voice. “Sean, are you there?”

“I’m here. How is he?”

Brandon sighed. “He made it through surgery. Doc says if he lives through the night, his chances are good.”

“Good,” was his only reply. He wasn’t thanking the little prick. He was the one who’d shot Steven in the first place, and honestly, Sean had counted down the days to when he didn’t have to be stuck on a mission with Brandon and his hundred daily complaints. Next time Mel asked him to tack a civilian onto his team, he was flat out refusing. If he hadn’t learned his lesson the first time, he’d sure learned it this go ’round.

“Someone’s hurt?” Laney asked.

“Uh.” He frowned at the radio. “Yeah, this supply run was rough. Lost a man, and now we might lose another.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

Shaking his head, he led them down the trail toward the mess hall. “No use apologizing for something you didn’t have a thing in the world to do with.”

“I’m not apologizing for that. I just know how hard you’re being on yourself for not getting your entire team back here, and it makes me sorry it happened.”

“Laney, please. I don’t want to talk about this.” Huh. That was a lie. He just didn’t want to talk about it with her. Vanessa was the only one he could think of to balm the ache of loss and fear.

Maybe there was hope for him yet.