Dear Sophie,
Every year my husband turns into Clark Griswold and goes crazy with lights on the house. I’m always a nervous wreck, afraid he’ll be shocked or start a fire. He says I’m silly. What do you think?
Nervous Nellie in Evergreen, Montana
Dear Nervous Nellie,
Christmas lights can spark fires. Be sure to keep your tree watered. Never connect more than three strands of lights. And use the touch test. Extension cords and light cords should never be hot.
Sophie
We knew we shouldn’t listen to Wolf’s conversation with Luis, but we did anyway.
I’d been interrogated by Wolf once and could imagine his earnest expression. He didn’t give away much of what he was thinking.
“I’m told that you are—were—Gwen Babineaux’s psychiatrist,” said Wolf.
Luis sounded incredulous. “Me? No. That sounds like something Gwen would claim, though. Look, I’ll save you some time here, okay? It’s my guess that Gwen suffered from histrionic personality disorder. She tended to be dramatic and act in ways that drew attention to her.”
“Would this disorder predispose her to being violent?”
“You think she attacked the person who killed her? Interesting. But no, she would not have been more violent than anyone else. She had low self-esteem and sought the approval of other people. They tend to be overly dramatic. For instance, she was prone to being flirtatious. She did things that made people focus on her.”
“It was all about her, huh?”
Luis smiled. “Yes, that’s a good way of putting it. But more so than for most people.”
“So, for instance, that might prompt her to mention a love affair in her Christmas letter?”
“An excellent example. She knew that would interest people and start them talking about her.”
“Do you think she was having an affair?”
“That, I don’t know. Making up an affair would be consistent with her condition.”
“Where were you between six thirty in the afternoon yesterday and six thirty in the morning today?”
“At home, with my wife. She can confirm that.” A wry grin crossed his face. “In fact, I, uh, almost electrocuted myself putting up Christmas lights. The rescue squad probably made note of the time.”
“You went to the hospital?”
“I didn’t think that was necessary, but Baxter called them, and they came to the house.”
Wolf didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Thanks. I assume you’ll be around if I need to ask you anything else?”
“Sure. Anytime.”
Liza’s face had turned the color of a ripe peach with a red flush on it. She exhaled and bent over, letting her arms hang loose and her fingertips touch the floor.
“Are you okay?” Nina asked.
Liza shook and stood up straight. “We’ve got to talk. Not here. Too many ears around this place.”
The three of us marched across the street to my house.
We hadn’t even sat down when Nina demanded, “What’s up? What do you know?”
“I’ve done something terrible.” Liza spoke in a whisper, her eyes huge. “They’re going to arrest me. They’re going to put me in jail! I know they will! I can’t go to jail!”
I hadn’t expected this. Was she going to confess to murdering Gwen?
“You know the ladder that broke causing Baxter to fall off his roof?” asked Liza.
“We were there,” I said. “After he fell.”
“I wanted to prove to Luis that he’s not homeowner handyman material. That we need a condo. No ladders, no saws, no manly man equipment.”
“You sawed that rung?” I was horrified.
“Don’t look at me like that! It was only the second rung. I didn’t want Luis to plummet from the top. How could I know Baxter would borrow it and schlep it to his roof? I figured Luis would use it on the ground, step on it, boom, little fall, big scare. I never thought anyone would get hurt. They’re going to find my fingerprints all over that ladder! They’ll think I killed Gwen!”
“Why would they think that?” I stood up and put on water for coffee. Decaf. Liza didn’t need to be any more agitated than she already was.
“Obviously the ladder is tied to her death somehow. Why else would they care about a rotten old ladder? Oy! I can’t go to jail. Do you think they’ll go easy on me since I didn’t mean to hurt anyone?”
I took out the cream and sugar. “I doubt that it will come to that. You and Luis own the ladder, Liza. They’ll expect to find your fingerprints on it.”
She bounced in her chair. “You’re right! Why didn’t I think of that? Oh, thank you!” She leaned back against her chair. “I’m so relieved. The Christmas light thing didn’t work out so well, either. I’m done trying to booby-trap Luis’s stuff.”
It was all I could do to speak calmly. “Christmas lights? You frayed that cord on purpose?”
“Just a little bit. I didn’t know you could get seriously hurt. I thought it was like a little battery jolt. I’m not the only one. Baxter said Elvin used to wrap himself up in lights. I thought they were harmless.”
I was afraid to ask, but I did anyway. “Is there anything else you might have tampered with?”
Liza flapped her hands at me. “Goodness, Sophie, you make it sound like I’m an axe murderer or something. I just wanted to teach Luis a lesson, that’s all.”
I didn’t know how to bring it up in a nice way, but this was as good a time as any. “I noticed that you bought rat poison the other day.”
Nina coughed. “Please tell me you don’t have rats!”
Liza groaned. “I swear I hear noises in our basement. It has to be mice. But Luis yelled at me for buying rat poison. He was totally right. Oscar would lap it up in a second. It’s too dangerous to have around. I threw it out.”
“That’s good,” said Nina in a most uncertain tone. “It’s not like you poisoned anyone or whacked Gwen over the head or anything. Right?”
Liza laughed. “You’re so funny! I haven’t a reason in the world to want to kill Gwen. My money is on Baxter’s ex-wife, Patty. Now, there’s someone who had a motive.”
“Shh!” Nina waved at Liza just as Patty knocked on the kitchen door and stepped inside.
“Is that coffee I smell? I feel like such a moocher.” Patty settled into a chair by the fireplace. “I’m exhausted. I have to tell you, this is the last thing I expected when I came here. I knew something was wrong when I read Gwen’s Christmas letter, but in my wildest dreams I never imagined she would be murdered.”
“How are the kids?” asked Nina.
Patty tilted her head and focused on Liza. “I don’t know how I can ever thank Luis. He’s been there for all the Babineauxs, especially Baxter and the children. He’s helping them talk through their feelings and deal with Gwen’s death.” She smiled. “I think Bethany might have a little crush on him. His patients must fall for him all the time. He’s so comforting.”
Liza beamed. “Luis is quite well regarded in his field. I’m glad he could help the children.”
I poured the coffee into my Christmas mugs with the candy-cane handles and set out a platter of Scotcheroos along with paper napkins printed with huge old-fashioned Christmas lights.
When everyone sat at the table, I asked Patty about Elvin. “I understand he and Sugar will be staying through the holidays.”
“Maybe longer than that. Gwen’s death has brought everyone closer together. In a weird way, we all appreciate each other more. We know it could happen to any of us. Well, not murder, I hope, but you never know what life will bring. Anyway, Elvin is planning to stick around to help out Baxter. The poor guy needs help. If Baxter argued with Gwen half as much as Bethany claims, you’d think he’d be glad to be rid of her.” Patty bit into a Scotcheroo. “I always forget how wonderful these are. I really should bake them for the kids. Maybe I will now.”
“Lots of fights, huh?” asked Nina.
“Mmm.” Patty nodded her head. “Mostly about money, from what I can gather. Gwen refused to tighten the purse strings. She liked living lavishly. Did you know that Kat’s room is set up like a little castle? Gwen paid someone to paint the walls with scenes from a fairy-tale book. That child is going to think she’s a princess.”
I wanted to get back to Elvin. It was a long shot that the glasses Kat had found meant anything, yet they still worried me. “Is Elvin moving in with Baxter permanently? I thought he had some kind of charity thing he does. Feeding children or something.”
“He can do that anywhere. I don’t know that they’ve decided anything yet, but Baxter would be lucky to have Elvin around.”
Liza snorted. “If Baxter doesn’t want him, I’ll take Elvin in. He takes out their trash, helps Baxter decorate the house, and cleans their kitchen.”
“That’s Elvin!” said Patty. “You know how people say nice guys finish last? They mean Elvin. I probably married the wrong brother. Of course, when we were young, I saw things differently than I do now. Baxter had the good job and great looks. He was athletic and had job prospects. Look at him today, living in a fancy house and broke as can be. But, you know, when I was younger, married to Baxter, and stuck on the highway with a flat tire and a van full of kids, it was Elvin I called, not Baxter. Elvin would help out anybody. That’s just how he is.”
My eyes met Nina’s. I felt certain she was thinking along the same lines as me. Would Elvin have murdered Gwen to help Baxter out?