While her feet soaked in a pan full of hot water, Jade sipped at some tea. Her legs ached as they continued to thaw. She would have preferred to be out in the cold, at least able to convince herself she was doing something useful.
Aisha sat with her and prayed, and Mrs. Spencer joined in for a little while too. Jade was thankful for their concern but couldn’t help wondering if all that time and energy they put into their prayers would be better spent hunting for her daughter.
“Brought you something to eat.” Ben stepped up and handed her a ham and cheese sandwich on a paper plate. Jade hated sandwiches and had since elementary school. Besides, how could she eat now when she didn’t know if her daughter was kidnapped or lost in the woods or maybe already dead?
“You should have it,” Aisha urged, and Jade nibbled at the whole grain crust with disinterest. Aisha stood up to get more tea.
“I’ve been going over the notes from the pre-trial,” Ben said, crushing any hope Jade had that she might be able to stomach her food. He sat down across from her with a frown. “I read about your father.”
Jade shrugged. She should have figured he’d find out the truth sooner or later.
Ben sighed. “I know it doesn’t change what happened, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
She glared at him. “Why? It wasn’t your fault.” What right did he think he had, probing into her past and making her relive that awful pre-trial period? Did he seriously think that now was an appropriate time to bring it up?
Ben shuffled some pages he was carrying. “Well, we’ve managed to narrow down the suspect list.”
She wished she could turn her ears off. She wasn’t ready to face the reality that this missing child case was morphing into an abduction investigation. It was too much for her to handle. She buried her head in her hands.
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” He sounded sincere, but how could he understand even a fraction of what she was experiencing?
She met his gaze. “Do you have children, officer?”
He shook his head.
“I didn’t think so,” Jade mumbled. And yet here he was pretending to be sympathetic. What would he know about parenthood or the terror that comes from realizing you failed to protect your own child?
She didn’t need more tea. She didn’t need a stupid sandwich. She needed her daughter. How many times had she lost her temper or gotten angry at Dez, who was every bit as sassy as Jade had been at that age? She’d take it all back now if she could, the drawn-out lectures, the angry shouts, that infamous Mom stare she’d perfected when Dez was still in her terrible twos.
“It must be hard working with the police after what happened to your dad.” Ben’s voice was soft, so quiet Jade wondered if she should simply pretend not to have heard.
He didn’t know anything. He couldn’t.
Jade hated him. She hated his condescending pity, his flashy blue uniform and everything it represented in her past. She hated the fact that she was sitting here like a helpless victim instead of marching outside and leading the investigation to find her daughter.
Aisha returned, passing Jade a new cup of tea and taking her empty mug from her. “Maybe you should get some rest.” Aisha had been Jade’s best friends for years, but tonight was a clear and obvious reminder of their differences. If Aisha were a mother herself, she’d understand how insulting the suggestion was. Sleep? How could she expect Jade to sleep on a night like this?
“I think that’s a good idea,” Ben replied, as if his opinion settled the matter. “I can drop you off at your place if you want.”
Jade crossed her arms. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I promise I’ll call you with any updates.”
She shook her head. “I’m staying here.”
“Maybe you could rest on one of the couches,” Aisha suggested softly. Jade rolled her eyes. Maybe Aisha was the kind of girl who could fall asleep on a whim, even with the investigation of her daughter’s kidnapping ongoing in the next room, but Jade wasn’t.
“I’m fine. I just need to get more coffee.” She stood up.
“Are you sure?” Aisha asked with a pained expression on her face.
“Positive,” Jade grumbled. She brushed past her friend and stormed over to the coffee pot, unable at the moment to look at her compassionate eyes without breaking.
She’d need all the energy she could get to make it through the night.