was misled from your virtue? From the curves of unending dramatic tension, I alone increased upon myself? This life inside me is mine for the wrecking, mine for the abolishing. Don’t you understand as I have so many years ago? I am a contagion of an unnecessary class.
Don’t tell me I was wrong; I was only doing what you asked of me, being someone I never had the capability of becoming. I am estranged from the thoughts of yesterday, looking beyond no tomorrow. I turn and shift every piece of weight I ever did once owe to you, but who owes you?
There was once a romance, wasn’t there? A touch of rekindling something or other running beneath our bloodstreams. Creating a festival of excitement and exaggerated hormones. Making movements in every direction just to get away from the thought or feeling of you. Your deep stare, like somehow you knew what I never wanted to know.
I flinch at the undying notion to make communication of our statehood. We of all people were wondering when it was to end. The demise was soon felt after the acknowledgment or welcoming antidote of exchanges of names. You wanted this didn’t you, a kiss with a mystery girl who had never been a part of your world or any universe for that matter? She simply never belonged to be a definite life source. You wanted to take me away to your realm with laughter and love.
I was no prize to be won. No circumstances of you would ever turn me back to where I wanted to go. You couldn’t tell me how it happened. How every day was a new miracle being born in front of our eyes. Were you as I guessed, waiting for the end to finally begin?
Remembering the times when I’d lie so you would leave me alone, so indefinite I could end the morning and evening being solitary. Why do you do this? Making me cringe; I want you. Making me spin out of control; I need you. Would you promise an output any different than the one you have chosen for us? I leave you there, standing in the cold. Still, I am in and feel as if I am the one being left. Your face looks unsure and still, I can compromise as unknowing as well. Do you mean it when you profess I love you?
We are merely kids at play. Churning the butter into whipped topping on a cake. The candle’s flame wavering in the limelight are we even old enough to feel this much despise? Or even create such encumbering lifestyles of harmony? Take your turn one day to know. I’ve loved you this much, why not so much more?
I don’t want to compromise, making movements surrounding you and somehow lurking around as if we were making love with our eyes. I’d touch your unbarring soul and you’d caress mine. My lips would linger upon yours as if I wanted this to last forever, as if it was going to. You’d lead me away to another fantasy, to another chance at freedom. Remember I was more than a chance at a new breath. I saw it in your eyes, me being the one for you. Now I lay beside you, my naked body exposed, my thoughts unsure if I wanted that with you.
Whispers in my ears of doubts and small remarks of hope, of happiness. I couldn’t take the undying knowledge you had over me that somehow you would always know we would end up being with one another.
True.
How much further would a demonstration of our affection take us? Too little to go all the way, making this statement of love a visible one. Are we liars? In love with each other’s sadness or devastation? I almost wish for you to turn your gaze from me. I wish also for the stares to end and my days to be brighter. That you may save the moments I have given you and be happy with them.
I am ready if you’re wondering, equipped for the risk-taking.